The biggest issue I was having with Jesvae’s offer was the politics involved…

If I just up and left The City without telling anyone, I risked being branded as a deserter, which was a very rare crime in our society that carried a simple punishment: Death. Not only that, but my family would be implicated as well… and in the worst case, if they were deemed at all complicit, they would be sent to the Shieldwall.

The same could be said of Tetra and Wulfric, who I wanted to bring with me if I did end up journeying towards this ‘secret training facility’ that was setup to help us cross the mountains. I wasn’t sure how much benefit I could personally gain from the trip, but for us as a team it could be a good chance to get out of the public eye for a time.

There were already rumors going around the House Flameward compound that something was going on with the three of us, and damage to the training facility had been noted and commented on several times. We were pretty careful, and only practiced in short bursts after having secured the area, but if we kept on as we were going right now there would eventually be consequences.

What if they found out about my ‘soulbinding’ and asked me to perform it on others? It wasn’t exhausting, but it still took a noticeable amount of my points, and any points I ‘imprinted’ on someone else were permanently taken from my personal Qi total. And because I wasn’t able to draw more ambient Qi into either Wulfric or Tetra than I contained myself, no matter how hard I tried… in essence, each person I made into an Ally in my system ended up lowering not only my maximum Qi pool, but the maximum amount of Qi available to all of my other Allies as well…

So, I could basically have a thousand duck sized horses, or a small handful of horse sized ducks, to draw on a silly saying from old Earth. The Ally power did not scale up well, and to make matters worse, if I used it on someone who I didn’t trust completely, they could turn that same power against me unless I invested EVEN MORE of my Qi into them…

The crux of the matter is that I absolutely did not want any of the nobles to catch wind of this ability, as I couldn't imagine that ending well. I could picture even the kind-hearted Kodan or the heroic Firebrand looking at it in a big picture way, asking me to sacrifice my personal power growth to help strengthen the army… but if I started down that road I would never become as powerful as the Merrik, let alone reach the stage where I could eventually leave this planet and search for the Celestial Realm.

At least with Jesvae I knew where I stood, especially after the long conversation I had with her just outside North Stone Village. She was as simple as she was dangerous, and surpassing the Merrik was more than a goal with her, it was an obsession. I could see her, maybe, asking me to use the Ally power on herself if she found out about it, but no way would she want me to squander my power creating a bunch of weaker pawns. I could afford to have a few more Allies, but I was already saving a potential spot for Wolfram, and I had a feeling deep in my gut that three was a pretty optimal number.

Plus, as strange as it may seem, I just felt safer around Jesvae than I did around most of the other nobles I had met… and she was pretty hot… and around my age, metaphysically at least, and… uhhh… wait, where was I? Oh right, politics!

My next step was to figure out a way to get the heck out of The City; which was kinda funny, since nearly everyone else was trying their hardest to get (or stay) inside of it.

***

I hated lying in general, to the point where I think it was becoming something of a pathological aversion, but lying to Kodan was just the WORST! I had sweat running down my back as I faced him, my mind furiously trying to find a way to answer his questions that was as close to the truth as possible.

Kodan Flameward, the Heir of House Flameward – who was now only a few years away from officially taking over as Lord Flameward – still had a hard time seeing me as anything but a younger kid who needs to be protected from the harsh realities of the world. It was obvious from the way he interacted with me, even though he had been made aware that I was the ‘apprentice of the Merrik’ some time ago.

In a previous conversation, Kodan had apologized to me on behalf of everyone (like, the entire world…) for having to go through such a trial as this, at such a young age, and thanked me for taking up the task… I had almost hugged him, but boy did it make me feel guilty having him treat me so sincerely. Was I really planning to stick around and protect the whole world if the Merrik died? Was it even a world, or just a large country area surrounded by mountains (it wasn’t Russia huge, but a journey from the Valley of Shadows all the way to the Shieldwall would be measured in weeks, not days)?

I mean, yeah of course I would stick around until everyone I cared about was safe (maybe have them relocated) if worst came to worst, but… sacrifice the rest of my life to become another Merrik…

My thoughts were interrupted by Kodan finally replying to my previous requests, after taking a few moments to think it through. That is another thing I appreciated about him; he never dismissed anything I said out of hand.

“I don’t see it being safe for you to take warrior trainee Tetra and warrior trainee Wulfric with you, Heller.”

I nodded, having expected this response, and having an answer already prepared. I ignored the guilty sweat rolling down my back as I went forward with my plans.

“No, it will not be safe for them, but it is what my master ordered, and I can’t go against what was ordered. All of us might perish on this mission, which could take years, but the risk is worth it if there is a chance to save the realm.”

I almost felt like throwing up as I delivered my prepared lines… it was true there was a risk, and that it was more or less to save the realm (according to Jesvae anyway), but it still left a terrible taste in my mouth.

Kodan was silent again as he mulled my words over in his mind. I was supremely thankful that Firebrand was away again (as usual…) as not only did I think he would see through me (he was a wily old bugger) but it was fifty-fifty whether he would let me go or not, and even if he did what would I do if he demanded to accompany me?

“I understand, Heller. I know that the realm faces great danger, and as you know my family are of the opinion that The City must remain open, no matter the cost. We must all take risks. Please wait here for a moment.”

I sat there blinking at him as he stood up from his polished wooden desk, his posture stiff and formal as always, and turned towards a line of shelves against the back wall of his office.

Wait… did that mean he agreed, or didn’t agree? He said he understood, so I figured that must be good, right? I sat there stewing in my own juices for a moment, still uncomfortable that I had to lie to someone who I both liked and respected, and tried to think what I would say if he refused. I hadn’t planned much past this part, as I had been fairly certain that the last line I delivered would work.

A few moments later I heard a dull click, and I raised my eyebrow as Kodan shifted away a part of the bookshelf, reached inside some kind of compartment that I couldn’t really see, and pulled out a leather bound book that looked both familiar and not at the same time…

Then it came to me, the way it was presented looked remarkably similar to a book that Wolfram had shared with me years ago.

“This is a one of only a very few copies of the full cultivation technique for House Flameward, Heller.” Kodan said, moving forward and carefully putting the book in front of me. “I am not supposed to give this to anyone except my heir, should I live long enough to have children. I want you to have it.”

Oh, by the spirits, was he giving me… I couldn’t help it anymore, and I stood up and moved around the desk to give Kodan a big hug. He was too stunned to respond at first, but after a few seconds had passed I felt him awkwardly pat my back a few times.

I stood back, giving him a respectful salute. I don’t know what the future held, but I knew that I would do whatever was in my power to help Kodan should he ever need it.

The strangest thing is that, so far, nothing he has ever given or done for me was actually all that tangibly helpful, so far as I could tell, but he was so well intentioned that it didn’t even matter. Having access to the full cultivation technique of House Flameward was just icing on the cake, and maybe Wolfram and I could even gain a few insights by comparing it to the House Spiritwind technique.

Which made me ponder… I had two of the four Great Cultivation Techniques of my people now… I wonder if it would be worth the effort to complete the set.