The most important thing was doing this in the right order, so I ran though my plan again. I’d probably have to practice to get really good at it, but that’s the case with most things worth doing, therefore I decided to just get on with it and hope for the best.

Approaching the lampstand in the corner of the room, I reached out my right hand and took hold of it. Then I slid my right foot under the hand grasping the lampstand and slid my left foot back and to the side, trying to brace myself in case I started to lose control of the weight. I began generating a magnetic field in my right hand and foot with opposite polarities, so that the ‘south’ end of the field on my foot pointed up and the ‘south’ end of the field on my hand pointed down. My goal was to have them repel each other, thus allowing me to lift the lampstand with a single hand – which would be impressive, as I couldn’t lift it with two hands just a few hours ago.

I started feeling a pressure on my hand, pushing it upwards! No, wait, oh shit that hurt! I backed away from the lamp stand, looking at my hand… it was alright, but I had scraped a few tiny scales off of my palm. I realized right away what had gone wrong: My hand was being pushed up, but my grip on the lampstand wasn’t strong enough to lift it, so I ended up skinning my palm against the gilded decorative patterns on the shaft of the lampstand. Well that was pretty stupid.

Trying again, this time I first magnetized an area on the lampstand itself right across from my palm, and used a complimentary magnetic field (with a ‘south’ pole facing a ‘north’ pole) on my hand to secure my grip. My plan was to use my Ion Shield to hold the majority of the weight, keeping my fragile flesh from being the weak point in the equation. I started to create opposing fields on my hand and foot again, my heart beating rapidly as I felt something start to shift... but the lamp stand still wouldn’t lift up…

So I applied more power. This thing couldn’t be that heavy, could it? I wasn’t sure how much force I was applying, because the Ion Field around me was doing the majority of the work. I mean, I was also trying to lift it with my hand, but realistically… how much force could a five year old possibly apply on their own…

*KRAAACCCCKKK*

I jumped as the lampstand jerked in my hand and I heard a loud sharp cracking sound accompanied by a puff of dust rising from the floor! Or, I tried to jump – my right foot, the one I tried using to push off with, was firmly attached to the floor by the weight I was putting on it via the opposing magnetic fields. I ended up kind of falling over, but my right foot and hand didn’t budge (being still solidly held in place with my magnetic fields). Luckily I was light, so hanging from one hand wasn’t hard, but I was finding it hard to stand back up… and then I noticed that the lampstand, while still attached to the floor, was raised off the ground by a few finger widths, and was starting to slowly fall down in my direction.

Time seemed to slow down for a moment as I realized what was happening. The damn lampstand had been bolted to the floor, and I had just snapped one bolt and heavily damaged another! I shut off the magnetic fields in my Ion Shield before the second bolt could give way and sent the gilded shaft of metal (with fire on top of it, no less) rocketing into the ceiling. I dropped to the floor, letting out a gasp as I hit the cold stone… buuuutttt… the lampstand was still falling on me. The place where I had been holding the falling spear of burning metal (it looked VERY deadly from this angle) was still magnetized (I found I could sense the magnetic field around it, which I hadn’t expected) so I set up an opposing field around my body, causing me to rapidly slide back towards the middle of the room (the lampstand was far heavier than I was, so I moved a heck of a lot more than it did).

The damn thing was still falling though, the burning oil on top of it looking ripe and ready to set this whole room ablaze; it was doing its best to murder me along with all Froggie’s gaudy furnishings and that stupid fluffy mattress.

Luckily the remaining bolt hadn’t yet snapped, so the lampstand was falling slowly… but I just didn’t have the mass to push it back into place!

I looked around the room, searching for something to brace myself with, and right away decided on the other three lampstands (one in each corner). None of them gave off all that much light individually, and I didn’t really see an easy way to light them… actually, why the hell were they lit in the first place?

I got my thoughts back on track, and tried pushing out my Ion Shield to set a charge on the other lampstands – but I was just too far away to get the two on the far side of the room in time. So I changed plans, setting up a field on one of the tapestry hooks above me that I would use to pull myself towards the wall (if at a steep angle), and another field on the nearest intact lampstand (which was on the far side of the doorway from me) that I would use to keep myself from flying further back into the room.

I then created a field in my left hand that was attracted to the tapestry hook above me, and one in my right hand that was attracted to the lampstand. Right away I noticed they were weaker than I expected… and then I remembered that magnetic fields loose strength really fast the further away they are from the source… some kind of exponential relationship maybe (I couldn’t really remember). So I pumped a lot more power into the fields, letting out a small yell when my feet left the floor as I was pulled between the two opposing directions. I felt the strain on the Ion Shield as it fought to hold together – I was too close to my maximum capacity, and I didn’t what to even THINK of what would happen if the Shield gave way.

Lowering the power I set myself awkwardly back on the ground, just in time to see the flaming lampstand finish its trip to the ground…

…and a huge swath of burning oil spilled out of the lamp, neatly cutting off my retreat from the door. ‘Well, this literally couldn’t have turned out any worse, well done Heller!’ I thought to myself. I still had the two anchor points (the hook and the other lampstand) and I briefly considered using them to catapult myself over the flame. Or maybe I could buy one of those water-powers I had prepared… but I didn’t know if that would be enough… I only had a dozen or so points, and according to The System I couldn’t create that much water out of nothing very easily, and condensing it out of the atmosphere took time.

Then I thought of the uncomfortably soft feather bed… maybe it could help.

I knew that I wasn't in that much danger yet, as my ion shield would be able to keep me from being burned, but I still wanted to put the fire out before it could spread.

I ran around the backside of the bed and hooked my legs under it. I attracted myself to the other lampstand and the hook, straining my legs as the bed started lifting into the air with me. I pushed my Ion Shield to its limits, straining it beyond what I thought it could take… and I felt myself stop moving...

I realized the weight of the mattress was just too much, so I quickly opened up my ‘Abilities’ menu and pumped all the points I had into my Ion Shield and its attached Magnetic powers. I was rewarded with a sudden jolt of forward movement as the mattress finally flipped over, completely covering the floor near the doorway and, hopefully, smothering the spreading oil-fire. I was wobbling in midair, spinning in place where I was above the mattress – still suspended between the two magnetic fields – when the hook finally gave way, dropping me into the abyss of feathered mattress hell before slamming HARD into my left hand and nearly spinning me around again.

The hook (and my hand) had penetrated deep into the mattress, which I discovered was actually full of a mixture of red fur and black feathers as they spewed lazily into the air. My Ion Shield had absorbed most of the damage from the hook slamming into me, but I was now slowly sinking into the fluffy mattress that I had found nearly impossible to escape when it hadn’t been punctured.

I stared up at the celing as I sank, wondering if my biological age was affecting my judgement, and after it became clear that the fire was sucessfully smothered I couldn't help but laugh.