《Shitposting in Another World》Post 1
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I arrived home late at night after a long day’s drive and walked into my house. A familiar mutt scampers up to me, its tail wagging. After petting Jackie for a while, I put food and water in her bowls, then fill a glass for myself with ice and water. I sit down in my room where my computer is. Jackie jumps onto my bed and curls up like usual. I turn on the PC and plug in my phone to recharge. It’s my backup GPS when I’m doing deliveries, after all. Getting lost while driving a semi-truck has happened to me before, and it’s awful. I open up my internet browser.
The heavy shitposting begins. I’ve always been a filthy omniboarder, continually honing my skills in (You) collection across the map of 4chan, the place I frequent every day. Today is 4/20, so “dude weed” posting is rampant. Cycling between boards, I mock waifus in threads on /a/, create “subtle” /pol/ threads on /v/, and praise the Powerpuff Girls remake on /co/. I derail the actual discussion with post number roulettes, and execute the classic “reply to literally every post in the thread with one post and call them fanciful young lads.” It’s like a game to me, as I fulfill my deep desire to be the most obnoxious piece of shit possible.
/co/ is particularly active right now because we’re fast approaching its 100m GET, a landmark any aspiring shitposter would love to acquire and ruin for everyone. I spot a fellow shitposter trying to derail a Cal-arts thread with a “reply to this and” image, and obviously, I humor this brother in arms with a reply to his cheap post in an awful thread. Just as I hit submit, I hear a noise like an engine starting in my yard.
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While I typically waste time online, my one real hobby is renovating cars and trucks. I’m primarily an /o/ poster when I’m actually contributing to the discussion. This house is an old farmhouse, and I use the barn to store my projects. The engine noise sounded like it came from my barn, and I’m the only one that lives here, so I’m immediately put on edge. I grab my shotgun, turn on the mounted light, and head out into the yard. If someone is actually here and is armed, I’d really rather they not shoot my dog, so I close the door, so Jackie can’t get out.
Nobody has ever tried to do anything to my property before, so I’m not really sure how to handle this. Anyone can read a self-defense story, but living it is another issue. If I were acting intelligently, I’d lock my doors and call the police, but those are MY cars. The starting of an engine means that someone could be hotwiring one of them, but hasn’t driven out yet. The main barn door is still closed, which is already strange. I enter through the side door of my barn and begin quickly checking the interior of the building without coming entirely into the room.
None of them are on, but he could have turned it off to go to check another car. I take a risk I shouldn’t take, and shout into the barn.
>Get the fuck out of my barn!
I then pump the shotgun audibly and get as ready as can be… nothing happens. There’s no noise or movement in the barn. The only sound I hear is my own breathing and heartbeat. He could be hiding inside one of the cars or trucks, waiting for me to give up and leave. Unfortunately for him, I’m a dumbass. I begin checking the insides of the cars one by one. I’m interrupted when a car on the opposite side of the building turns on, shining its light in the dark barn. I point the gun and cross through the middle of the barn towards the car.
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Suddenly, the cars and trucks in the barn start turning on one by one, the sound of their engines growing louder. I begin desperately shining the light on my gun into the cars, but I can’t see anyone in any of the driver’s seats. Their high-beams turn on simultaneously, and quickly grow brighter and brighter, with me in the middle. Before I know it, everything is white, and everything is quiet.
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Empress of Blue Flower Mountain
Once upon a time, there lived two great and mighty spirits on the mountain. One loved humans, the other hated them. When their differences could not be reconciled, they came to blows, and the human loving spirit was chased out. The banished spirit wandered the world. Rather than an exile, the spirit viewed her situation as an extended vacation. She saw all the sights and people she'd only ever heard about on the mountain. But it was a little lonely. No one could see her or hear her. She was a rootless spirit with no place to call home. And then, one day, she found a friend. When anger and jealousy take everything, only love can create something new. This is the story of perseverance, sacrifice, and forgiveness. Discord for FREE STUFF: https://discord.gg/Q2tQhQH ---Book 1: Empress of Blue Flower Mountain - Complete Book 2:Emperor of Blue Flower Mountain - In Progress Book 3:Princes of Blue Flower Mountain - N/ACover drawn by me, the Author! Lincensed under: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
8 159The Book of Mors: Summoned
Around two thousand years ago, The world of Acoria suffered what is known as The Great Calamity, turning the continent of Teknish into a smouldering wasteland, irradiated by chaotic mana and ravaged by savage energy storms, causing the surviving sentient races to flee to the much smaller and resource deficient continent of Malthasia. The year is now 2101 AGC (After Great Cataclysm) and the intense competition for space and resources has left humanity with only three surviving kingdoms, protected by the nearly impassable mountains of the Antaeth basin. Standing on the verge of collapse, the human kingdom of Vonai is forced to perform a summoning ritual, ripping souls from another dimension and implanting them into magically created bodies. Little do they know that by doing so, they have changed the fate of the world and everyone in it, for, in the infinite dimensions of the mortal realm, there are some existences you do not want to provoke. BOM:Summoned: 2-3 releases per week Evolution tree dynamics Limited stats/Game style mechanics Mature language/Graphic Violence Varying paces between action/adventure and information based chapters Special Thanks To: Solfyr - Contributor and inspirational genius
8 165Plague Born
Babies are found amidst the aftermath of natural disasters: tsunamis, avalanches, wild fires, destructive lightning storms. These 'Storm Born' grow up with powers based on the disasters that birthed them. Jaded, broken, and burdened with alcoholism, Sammy -- ex Storm Guard -- just wants to be left alone until the day death comes calling his name. But someone, or something, is hunting down and killing Storms. Even for Sammy, that's a sobering thought. Some mysteries can't be solved with raw power. Can Sammy figure out what is happening to Storm Borns, and can he prevent the world from falling back into atomic war?
8 114Blood of the Past
He awoke in a startled rush feeling as though it had been centuries since last he had opened his eyes, but alas, it had. His thoughts returned and he heard the screaming of his people and the great pain from the burning fires set against them. He was shunned and outcast along with the rest of his people, and the wars, the terrible wars fought because they could not understand. The Humans could not understand and would not understand him and his peoples true nature. He stood, his strength returning to him, as he did so the dust that had gathered on him fell to the floor. He looked around the cave which he hid in all those centuries ago and he found the way out. He made his way towards it, wanting to see the same as which he had when he entered, wilderness. He made it to the mouth of the cave and found it to be near midday, and he saw naught but wilderness. Save a lone tower far in the distance clearly overgrown and abandoned. His blood boiled as he stepped into the light and the harsh reality of him and his people rushed back into his mind. He would wait for night, and then he would move.
8 14918 Purifying Magics
When an unimportant and unwanted man suddenly becomes the only one left to take care of his neice he will use an ancient artifact that had been in his families possession for hundreds of years. Never understood. Never opened. Never used. Until now. I'm an novice when it comes to developing stories, so I'm using this fanfic to get experience. Please do comment, criticism will be greatly appreciated. Within the world of Harry Potter using Pokemon elements incorporated into a dungeon type story. I own nothing, but my OC's. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling, Nintendo, and GameFreak. Special thanks to gel302 for making the cover art.
8 190The Hufflepuff Child
It's eleven year old Charissa Malfoy's first year at Hogwarts. But what happens when the Pureblood girl gets Sorted into Hufflepuff? Note: This will be a short(ish) story which will lead into a much longer series.
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