I just dropped the big bomb. I said it to the monsters first, because I knew the girls would raise a big commotion. Helen seems especially not fond of the thought of me dying. I'm grateful.

As I expected, she gasps in terror. "What! This terrible thing! No..."

Marcy comforts her. Shraaizar is absorbed in thought. I clear my throat and continue.

"One thing that can slow down this process and maybe give a clue to solving it is to use the job crystal at the guild. It must be an activated job crystal though."

"Before that, mister..." Helen stands up, she is glaring daggers at me. "Can I have a private talk with you?"

"Yes, I guess..." She walks to my side, grabs my arm and pulls me to my workshop hovel.

"You selfish idiot! Why did you do this?!"

Helen yells at me while tears roll down her face. I have no idea what did I do. I can't even voice my objection.

"You appear out of nowhere, play us for dummies, don't reveal yourself to us, gets all skittish and tries to buy your way in, lie to us, take us to the middle of nowhere, die with a knife to the head, and on top of that get all nonchalant and just drop the bomb that your soul is breaking up?"

I drop on my knees. The harsh truth is that I have no answer to why I did it. I just planned...

"What are you doing? Robbing the king, playing hero, lying to the Guild, causing needless trouble just because you can?"

Am I playing around? Was there another, better way to accomplish what I needed to do?

"I want to be with you, but I don't want to follow you. And I can't do that if you don't trust me. I was floating with joy these days because you came to me because it felt like a story from a book, but I can't turn a blind eye to the truth anymore."

I wasn't really thinking on the consequences of what I did. I just went with the flow.

"You can't be a big child and treat the world as your playground. It is going to get us both killed."

I lower my head, and the only thing I can say is "I'm sorry."

Helen gets close to me, grabs my horns and move right next to my head. She then just punches me on the head. It hurts, but not physically.

"Every single move you make without thinking can be a danger. Just lowering your head you almost hit me with this horn. You are too big. Every single move you make can change the world. You surely changed mine. And my whole family's. And everyone in Mirfield. Is it fair to Marcy that she is out here and she probably won't find a marriage partner before the autumn?"

It is a different version of the 'responsibility of power' from the arachnoboy comics. I've been messing around like a child.

"I love you, Grendel. Beowulf. Whatever name you had in your past life. But I want you to talk to me. I want you to trust me. I want you to share your secrets with me. I don't want to look at your back. I want to look at you by my side, or in front of me. Can you trust me?" She asks stroking the coarse hair in my head. After she put everything out, she slowly calms down.

The truth hurts. I've been doing whatever I fancied since coming here. Of course, there will be consequences. Of course, people will be hurt. People will die if I just act on my whims. Even so, I don't know what should I say here.

"I am a coward. I was afraid you would reject me, so I pushed you to those men. I indulged in my gluttony, so I attacked the orcs. My anger caused the Shining Blades to suffer a terrible fate. I wanted recognition, so I forged the 'Hero Beowulf' persona. I was greedy, so I raided the king's vault."

"You said something about orcs?"

"The orc invasion... I was responsible for that. I went hunting orcs and defeated their king. With his last breath, he cursed me and awakened a dragon. That dragon drove the orcs out of their homes and they decided to attack Mirfield."

"I see... It is not like you ordered the orcs to attack the town, and their raid really helped me escape. Anything else you want to tell me?"

I end up telling Helen everything I did because I had no clue as to what would blow up in my face in the future. When we finished talking, it was late.

Shraaizar slithers into the hovel complaining. "It isss cold! Grendel, we need sleep!" I don't disagree. It is really late and I am emotionally tired.

Helen looks at me with a defeated face. "I guess I'll find Marcy and sleep next to her then... I don't want her to sleep alone in a place full of monsters."

I feel like the distance between us increased by a mile. I reach out a hand, but she pushes it away and moves to the entrance. I am afraid. Afraid this gap is too big to breach. Afraid of what will happen when I act. Of what will happen when I don't act. My body paralyzes with this fear.

She is leaving. Without saying a parting word. It's a 'place full of monsters'.

If I let her go without a word now, I know this gap will only widen.

With a fast spring, I rush to her side and block her path with a hand. The ground shakes.

"What do you want?" she asks with a cold voice.

"You. I want you." I let my deeper wish out. I don't care about this world anymore. If it means to be with Helen, I just wanna live my own fantasy.

Her rage returns. "Which Helen do you want? Do you want Helen the Magician to help you rank up? The woman Helen to warm your bed at night? The... the..."

"I want the sweet and kind Helen to heal my heart when I feel despair. I want the beautiful and lovely Helen to enrich my days with her presence. I want the angry and incisive Helen to show me the wrong in my actions. I want all of those, and the other two you mentioned before too." Her fists are clenched by her side and she is looking down. "I'm a selfish monster. I'll take by force what I want. It reminds me of a story.

One day I found this golden flower growing in the meadow. If I pluck it with force, It will die. If I touch it, it will wilt. If I don't look at it, it will vanish. If I leave it alone, it will be lost. How can I get it?"

She finally looks at me. A muffled "I don't know" leaves her mouth.

"There is no force that can get me what I want. I have to call out for it. If the flower so desires, it will come by my side and be mine forever.

Come to me, Helen. Be mine."

"I don't know, I..." She is tense. Stiff.

"Are you afraid?" She nods. "What are you afraid of?"

"Everything." She tenses her brow and brushes her nape.

"Afraid of me?" She reaches out and touches my hand.

"No. You may look like a big scary monster, but deep inside you are a scared little boy."

"Says the scared little girl. I'd be a little less scared if you were there for me."

"The flower in your story, what happened to her?"

"I don't know. I can't read the flower's heart. I just know that I want her more than anything."

"I hope the flower comes your way in the morning. But I really don't want to leave Marcy alone. Can I go?"

I remove my hand from her path. She waves at me, lifts the hem of her robe and climbs out. I raise my voice.

"You won, Marcy. But please return her in the morning."

Marcy's voice comes from outside "Sure thing, G!"

Helen goes away, and I return to the company of my thermic-challenged companion.

"Shraaizar, thanks for treating the human girls with kindness."

"There isss no way I would do different, Grendel. I know how important these humans are for you. Especially that Helen girl. I never told you, but during those three daysss you were asleep after fighting the human intruders you were calling her name in your sleep."

"Was I?"

"With such a sorrowful face. You looked dead inside when you left for the human lands. The light in your eyes only returned when you learned she survived and brought us north. But it was only today that you smiled again."

"Thanks again."

"Sssleep! I am tired and ate a bit too much."

I know better than pissing Shraaizar when she is in this kind of mood. I am rather exhausted too. Sleep comes as a promise to soothe my worries.

Skill Humanization level 5 acquired. Current cost: 4,000 points. Current duration 120h Seal Strength decreased by 10% Soul Vessel corruption progressed by 8%

Morning comes and we leave the hovel. It is colder today and the sky is overcast. Dark clouds insist on keeping what little warmth the sun could bring away from us. The camp is slowly coming to life, as every creature in it slept late and ate a bit too much during the feast. I am with a hard headache.

"Shraaizar, did I act up during the night?"

"Yesss. You were shedding water through your eyes again."

I check my status to confirm I had another episode during my sleep. And by the look of things a bad one.

The monkeys and goblins are going about their morning chores. I look at the entrance of the 'guest hovel' the girls are using, Emory and the rat squad are guarding the entrance. I use [Presence Detection] and the two are inside. I'll give them room for the moment, and go do an inspection of the camp. I'm totally not running away from a tricky situation.

When I return to the center, the girls are outside stretching.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" Marcy smiles and waves, but Helen is not that energetic.

"Just fine, G! Can I borrow some tools from your shack to craft arrows?"

"Help yourself. I'll join you there later, I have to do maintenance on my weapons."

"E-excuse me, I should renew the warming spells and treat the wounded monkeys." Helen totally avoids us and runs to the 'infirmary'.

Shraaizar picks it up "The yellow girl is ssstrange, Grendel. What did you talk about yesterday? She ssseemed angry at you."

"I don't think going after her will help now. Maybe I should talk to Marcy about what to do."

I return to my workshop, and Marcy is there, crafting arrows.

"Marcy, can I borrow your ear for a moment?"

She finishes tying the arrowhead she is working on, puts the tools down and raises her gaze at me.

"It is fine to talk, but there are some subjects I can't address right now." She makes it clear she won't help me with Helen.

"Can we talk about what to do after we return to town?"

"Yes, that subject is fine."

"Once we finish our requests and rank up at the town, I'll use the guild job-changing crystal right away. Kareena might put up some resistance and red tape. Can I rely on you to navigate the Guild's bureaucracy?"

"I can do that much for you." A short and businesslike answer.

"Once that is done, I believe the third requirement will be revealed. I don't know what it will be, but it should be something related to the others before.

Marcy calls me out. "Why the guild's skill crystal? Couldn't you have changed jobs elsewhere?"

"No. I would be found out if I tried to use another skill crystal, and I was more concerned with the vengeance..." I cut my speech short. These are painful memories for Marcy.

"I am already over my crush for my Master now that I know his flaws. But are you sure only the guild crystal works?"

"It does not have to be the guild's, but it has to be an activated one. I tried with an inactive crystal, it didn't work. I think I need to do at least one job change. There is one locked skill in my status, and it is one of the things causing problems. I have to unlock it, and the next step to do it is the job change. There is a third step listed, but the text is garbled."

"How do you know an inactive job crystal won't work?"

I take a wooden box and open it. Inside there is an A+ rank enchanted pemadra the size of a man's clenched fist, the fabled 'Job Changing Crystal' It sparkles with the bonfire light. "Because I swiped this from the Mirfield branch. Say, do you know the chant to activate it?"

"Do you have any idea how valuable that thing is?"

I nod. "Some 20k points to me. Three skill chests like the one I showed you. But I had permission from the realm to seize this one... sort of."

Marcy throws her arms up in dismay. "Fine, Robber Duke. I actually know the chant, but it is useless. Only those with the title of 'Guild Master' can do it."

"How does one becomes guild master?"

"Being appointed by a Guild Master's Assembly. There are one every four years."

"And how did the first ever guild master came to be?"

Marcy gives me a very business-like answer: "I'm sorry, but I don't know. I'm happy to find out; I know who to ask."

"And that person is unreachable, right?"

"Yes. Pretty much. Especially when you killed his nephew."

"Oh, that... Can't be helped then. And it means we have to finish the requests, rank up and keep Kareena from denying us the use of the crystal... How does one use this thing anyway?"

"You just hold your hand over it, pour some MP into the crystal, and the job choices pop in your mind. Then you change jobs."

"Does the guild master have to be present at the time, or a receptionist, or do you do that alone?"

"A receptionist is present to avoid any theft or vandalism, but she does not take part in the job change. It is very quick and trivial. Not that someone would do something and incur the wrath of the entire guild."

"Like stealing a job-changing crystal?"

"Yeah." She gives me an evil eye. "Or murdering guild personnel."

"I think I'll try it anyway. Pour MP..." Without even thinking, I poured MP into the crystal. It glimmers a little but then falls inert. Nothing pops up in my mind. "No. Nothing happened."

"What did you just do?" Marcy is appalled.

"I did what you told me to, pour MP into the crystal. It had no reaction."

"Yes, I saw it. I was asking 'what did you Grendel the Troll just do?" Yes, I'm a troll. what about it?

"I don't get it... Oh! Monsters are not supposed to have MP."

"Yeah. What kind of weird thing are you?"

There is only one way to know. "Status!" There it is. "Race: Troll level 20 -- Job: Villager level 30 -- HP: 100% -- MP: 85%... Seems I have MP even in monster form after all. I had nothing of the sort before."

Shraaizar slithers next to me and asks. "What were you talking, Grendel?"

"About solving part of my problems, changing jobs. Maybe this crystal could help, but it is inert" I answer the snake-lady. "But I will soon be able to use the one in the human town."

Marcy is putting the tools and unfinished arrows back in her bag. "We should start working on the requests now, G. Let's go."

"Yes, I'll assemble all the helpers."

Current Seal Strength: 26%

Current Soul Vessel Durability: 53%