Everything is pitch black. I have no idea how long I've been here. Without sensory input, my mind feels sluggish. It is hard to think. There is no orientation. There are no proprioceptive signals either. It is like I am disembodied. Yet this feeling is not a total stranger.

I've felt like this before. Where?

In the womb?

It is said that the baby in the womb can even suckle on his fingers and toes. And they can hear their mothers' voice and heartbeat. This is not a womb.

How did I get here? I don't know. I can't even think too much. It is sluggish. How long am I here? An eternity. Who am I? I don't remember.

Some hunch tells me I have to say a command word. "Status".

A rectangle filled with symbols shows itself in front of me. I don't understand most of them. I feel like I should, but my mind, my thought is too clouded. There is an arrow pointing to one side. I focus on that arrow. The rectangle flips and shrinks. There are now three smaller rectangles, with more symbols around them.

I spend a lot of time here, staring at those rectangles. One of them is completely red. The other is completely black. And the third is mostly black with a small portion of red. Slowly, the amount of red in the third one grows. I don't know how long, but it becomes full red like the other one.

It is getting easier to think. I know who I am. I'm Grendel. No. I had a name before this. I don't remember that name, but I have another one. I am Beowulf.

I earned a strange title. [Martyr]. It says that I died. I'm sure I am still alive. At zero HP but alive. I'm not a human, I am a troll 'wearing' a human skin even if the status window shows otherwise. The [Troll Regeneration] skill is still active. My understanding of this world grows. Probably it regards 'human' + 'zero HP' = 'death'.

I feel my head itching. Do I have a head? In this black nothingness, there are only me and the rectangles.

And the black rectangle suddenly starts to become red from one side going all the way to the other. Very fast. It stops halfway through.

I wake up.

There is a pressure on my lungs, an urge to breathe. It is like when you try to stay too long underwater. I open my eyes, all I can see is a blurry field of lights and dots. I open my mouth and desperately pull in the air. There is something sticky blocking my air. I turn to the side and vomit a lot of blood that was stuck in my lungs.

"Urgh... cough. cough. Blurgh... cough!"

I'm having the worst hangover ever. I don't think I've ever been drunk in my other life. Little by little, my nerves flare alive again, and this tingling numbness reminds me I am a corporeal creature, one with a body. Hearing, touch, balance, the taste of blood, the smell of blood, the sight of blood all around me. My whole body aches, like when blood circulation to a limb is cut off for too long, and it is numb but then the feeling begins to come back.

"Beowulf?" I hear a muffled Helen voice. My senses have not adjusted to reality yet. My head hurts.

"I'm here..." I try to lift a hand. Something holds that hand.

"You are losing too much blood. Here let me help! [Heali..."

"Don't even think of casting a spell in your condition, miss!" Marcy yells at Helen as she cuts off the other girl's chant.

"Don't worry Helen. Just a few more minutes {cough} and I'll be just as new."

"Liar!" Her trembling voice shows that she has been crying.

On the ground on a puddle of my own blood, I look at the party status screen. Helen is with MP exhaustion and MP recovery disabled. There are some scary icons in my bar. Cranial trauma. Severe bleeding. Arm Disabled x2. Gut wound. HP recovery disabled. My HP is slowly draining.

Marcy comes to my side, turns me around, takes my head and pours a red liquid in my mouth. It is warm. "Drink this. It is a potion." My HP bar goes up slightly. Severe bleeding disappears. HP stabilizes.

I close my eyes and focus on my body. I force my will into restoring it. Nothing happens, but I keep concentrating. Some time passes, and HP restoration disabled also fades. HP bar starts to fill back once again. One by one, the other status ailments also disappear. I'm hurting like hell.

Skill Pain Resistance level 7 acquired. Skill HP restoration level 7 acquired.

With the crisis over, I sit up and look around. The whole area is a bloody mess. I've lost about half a gallon of blood, the ground is greedily soaking it. But there are small splatters of blood everywhere. And a big circle of vitrified soil and radial scorch marks where the dirk guy was before. Helen is sitting right next to me.

I stop to think, then remember. The dirk throwing guy. Helen blew him up. Her HP also took a sharp dive. I look at her and she is a mess. Her eyes are swollen, her ears and nose have trickles of dried blood running down from it.

"You look awful, Helen. Like someone that almost died."

"You look terrible, Beowulf. Like someone that actually died."

I reach for her, but she hits my hand in anger. I can relate what she is feeling right now. The same grief that made me lose my mind fighting those adventurers...

"I'm sorry. I understand what you are feeling right now." Helen avoids looking at me. "But this is how trolls fight, I guess. Almost all my fights end up with me in the gutter."

No response. She just stays there, unwilling to engage in conversation. I keep my monologue going.

"I can't die. Unless my whole body is burned by either fire or acid, I won't die." Maybe drowning too. Dunno.

She is crying, "You are human now!" I crawl closer to her and take her hand.

"Helen, look." I rub her fingers in my forehead, where the dirk was. "There is no wound. Even the bone has healed." I gently grab her by the wrist, pull her arm toward me and her whole body follows. She bumps into me and I let my body fall backward, making her lie on top of me. With the other arm, I hold her waist so she can't escape. The rats look at me as if to protest, but I just glare at them and they back off. I won't hurt Helen.

I look up, and surrounded by a frame of blue sky there is a startled Helen. She struggles a little to get free, but she can't overpower me even before my strength was enhanced by [Emperor's Might].

"Let go!"

"I don't want to. No more! I know you are angry. But I am afraid. I am a big coward. I am afraid I might lose my precious Helen. I am afraid I will no longer be able to gaze at this beautiful golden hair. I am afraid I won't be able to touch you anymore. Feel your warmth. I am sorry. I am sorry for making you worry. I can't even understand what I am saying. It hurts. It hurts to be even an inch away from you. Please! Stay here with me. Just a little more. Grant me this selfish wish."

Her strength is gone. She releases the tension of her body and rests her head on my chest. She resumes crying.

"Were you scared?" I stroke her hair while I ask. She moves her head up and down. "I love you, Helen." She clenches a fist and hits my ribs several times. She is still bawling. I move my left hand across her back over the wool robes. Behind these fluffy robes is a girl so delicate she could snap anytime, just like a stalk of wheat. "I love you, Helen."

I'll pledge to repeat these words at all opportunities. I have no idea when this shithole of a world will separate us for good. It might even be before winter ends. Be it violence, calamity or just this 'soul vessel' thing, whatever it does. I swallow dry. It tastes of blood. I could get addicted to this feeling of stroking this girl's nape. Gently caressing her hair.

There is a word for this that exists only in Portuguese: 'Cafuné'.

While making cafuné on my lovely girl, I playfully breathe with my chest, to make her go up and down. I savor this feeling of having someone with me. Not too long after that her tension drops and she falls asleep.

I whisper to the side. "Marcy. Marcy, help me here." She was doing her fletching and trying her best to ignore us here, so it took a while for her to notice.

Marcy walks next to me. She is wearing trousers so there is no danger of seeing what I should not from down here. "'Sup, Beowulf. Or is it Zombeowulf now?"

Marcy is that kind of 'there is no such thing as bad weather' girl. She may seem, sound and act like a cunt sometimes, but if you look past the outer shell, she is always looking after her friends.

"Help me here."

"What kind of things are you thinking down there on the ground?" She kneels next to me. "I'm sure you were thinking strange things right now!" And I am sure you use that line only to tease.

"Yeah, I was having strange thoughts, but they are fine now. I'll resist my urge to devour your brains, don't worry."

"Hehe. Carnivorous man-troll, I'll let you try a shot at me for dessert if you finish the main dish over there." I'm pretty sure she misunderstood something right now. Don't zombies eat brains in this world?

"Stop teasing and help me get Helen to a bedroll. I don't want to wake her up."

"Sure thing, boss," She stands up and carefully picks up Helen. "How are you?"

I stand up. I feel fine. I test my arms, pass a finger where my belly was split open, my forehead. Everything perfect.

"I'm fine. All the wounds have healed."

"This troll regeneration thing is really astonishing. You were dead there for a few minutes, then that dirk just popped out and the wounds started to close."

We put Helen inside her bedroll in a shaded place, and carefully lay her down. The rats seize the opportunity and dive in with her. I don't blame them, it is quite cold out here and it is a golden opportunity to cuddle with Helen... Stop right there. I'm feeling envy toward rats. Change subjects fast, me!

"Marcy, how did Helen blow that guy when she had no MP? And why her HP dropped by more than 70% at once?" I have an idea why. It is a scary one.

"She told me she learned how to convert HP into MP while afflicted with an MP draining herb in jail." Bingo. This a kind of self-destructive ability just like when Tellah used Meteo on Golbez.

"We can't let her use that ever again. It is too dangerous."

"Agreed."

I hold my clenched fist in front of Marcy. "Bump me."

She looks puzzled but soon gives me a fist bump. "What is this?"

"It is a bonding custom from my world. A greeting between friends. Thanks, Marcy."

"You are welcome, Beowulf. And thanks for taking that dirk." She looks fondly at the sleeping Helen.

"I'll take all the dirks in the world it means you two will be safe." Dafuq I just said. Marcy is puckering her lips holding her laughter. " I said Dirk with an R!! Gaaa!"

The tension from combat gone, we just switch fully into a silly mode.

"Pffffff... You will take all the di**k in the world. Now that is commitment!"

"Ahahahah... Oh my, somebody just wasted half a gallon of pristine troll blood. There is an alchemist somewhere crying right now." Marcy is bent over laughing.

"I'll make a fortune from selling you piece by piece, Beowulf! Hehehehehee..."

I stay there with her trading jokes and laughing until our faces hurt. How long did it take? While we catch our breath, I check the party screen, Helen's status now is just 'sleep'. Her MP related woes worn off.

"She will be fine. Say, haven't we earned any Exp from that fight? Did some message popped up while I was out?"

"No. It is strange, right?" Marcy has a puzzled look.

This can only mean we are still in combat. It is just like the Red Streak fight. It did not end until I finished the chief wolf.

"[Presence Detection]!"

There is a faint reaction. I move near it, and there is the Kukri guy. Somehow he didn't choke or bleed to death, but things don't look too good for him. He is hardly breathing, his pulse is faint, but he is cold to the touch. He also lost too much blood. I don't have any way to save him. Not even the will to. These bandits tried to kill us even when cornered. Tried to kill Helen. I'd like to interrogate at least one of them, but the best I can do now is put him out of his misery.

I take a nearby goblin spear, the one I dropped when he nearly cut my arms off. I turn him on his belly and with a sharp stab to the base of the neck, he is gone. At least I'll make it painless. This is a 'kill or be killed' world. I want to live. I have people I want to protect. I have monsters I want to protect. So I'll kill.

Helen has gained a level! Marcy has gained a level! Beowulf has gained a level! 5 skill points awarded. Helen has gained a level! Marcy has gained a level! Beowulf has gained a level! 1 skill point awarded. Helen has gained a level! Beowulf has gained a level! 1 skill point awarded. Helen has gained a level! Beowulf has gained a level! 1 skill point awarded. Beowulf has gained a level! 1 skill point awarded.

What a huge flood of messages. I look at Marcy, she is startled.

"Beowulf, what just happened there?"

I walk back to near where the girls are. "I don't know. I just finished the last guy that was fatally wounded. But I never thought we could see the level up messages for party members."

"No! Not that. What is this huge amount of Exp? These guys were not small fry, but there is no way they would be worth this much! Helen went up FOUR levels! And you five!!!" She is freaking out.

In my defense, I got one racial level and four villager levels. But I have gained multiple levels before... Oh.

"I have a skill that increases Exp gained. I think it works cross-party." There are also the effects of the [Man Eater] title... And unfortunately, we earned the Exp for the dirk throwing guy twice, because a piece of him went in my open mouth when Helen blew him up. Maybe he was the leader. Ewww.

"Isn't this just sweet? You really are a gold mine, Beowulf."

I check my status. 56 skill points to spend.

Title Skill Point Collector (D) Awarded.

Those that hoard over 50 unspent skill points.

Grants 25% more skill points on all levels.

What just popped up?

Due to a title effect, 30 retroactive skill points were added.

Whoa. I look around, Marcy is spacing out like she is messing with the status window too.

"Marcy, don't spend your skill points. Stop right now if you are messing with the status."

"What happened?"

"I just unlocked a crazy title and gained 30 skill points from it."

"I got nothing here."

"Yes. But you can get it if you save more than 50 skill points. The reason nobody has it is that everyone always spends their points right after leveling."

And checking the info window, it is an E rank title. Too low, unless... unless it is part of a chain. Like further down the road, there is something like [Skill Point Duke / Prince / King] or something the like. This title also changes the way entry jobs are... Even {villager} it went up to 1,25 skill points per level.

Maybe figuring out and exploiting the meta of this world may be the key to 'winning'.

"You call the shots, boss. I have 13 unspent skill points."

"Nice thing, Marcy. I am afraid these six bandits here will feel like small fry really soon, considering the amount of shit that is coming our way. Scraping every single mean of getting more powerful might be the only key to our survival."

"I am amazed how can you go from idiot to genius in a span of mere minutes. These five levels must have made your tiny INT stat skyrocket."

I stare at Marcy unfazed. "Ha. Ha. Ha." My skin is thicker than that. I'll let it shrug it off. "Say, did you get 5 skill points per level?"

"Yeah. A 3rd job gives five. 4th tier job gives seven. and so on. Villager is 1st tier and gives 1."

My belly growls. I'm hungry. I go to my bag, scrape the bandit leftovers from it, wash my hands and eat some bread and jerky. It is tough and people often make soup to soften it, but I have an SS rank bite.

Marcy is keeping watch, and I go get the spoils from the guys we defeated. They had no supplies with them, and also didn't carry any bags. This was a day trip for them. This means they are expected to return to town before night falls. And this also means they might send someone even more powerful after us. Anyway, we need to get moving or trouble will find us again. I return to where the girls are resting, and convey what I learned to Marcy.

"Then we should be leaving right now!! Helen. Helen, wake up."

Helen wakes up startled. "Marcy? I had a terrible nightmare, we were attacked and Grendel died..." She hugs Marcy.

"I am right here, Helen. It was just a bad dream. I did not die." I smile at her.

She looks at me from top to bottom. I also take a look, still a bloody mess. "Waaaaaaaa. It was all true...." She is getting watery eyes.

I have to act fast. I take her by the shoulders and give her a warm hug no snowman would reject. "It is fine... I'm here, and I am not hurt. Are you hurt anywhere?" Her HP is still not topped. "Can you heal yourself and clean us with magic, please? I can't kiss you with blood all over me, right?"

"Sure!" And just like the clouds after a downpour, Helen's mood clears up.

Lifestyle magic is really convenient. The dirt and grime on our clothes just dry up and falls off. The MP consumption depends on how dirty the clothes are.

"Don't push yourself. Clean one piece at a time, even if it takes longer. I'll dig a grave for our opponents in the meanwhile."

"I'll help you, Beowulf."

"Marcy, please stay by Helen's side and make sure she doesn't overexert herself."

Dragging the bodies and their gear is a necessary grunt job. I don't know if the dead can raise as monsters, but I won't find out so soon. The least I can do is give them a proper burial. While preparing them, I strip everything of value. They are not needing it anymore and to the victor the spoils. The dirk guy became charred bits all over the forest, unfortunately. Nothing he was carrying was salvageable.

We took five guild cards and everything of value they had. I'll use the round shield from now on. I'm quite the damage soak already, but I need to invest in my defense. The only drawback is that the horn spear is too big to use one-handed in human form.

We need to hurry up and reach the monster camp. I'm worried about the reasons for this ambush.