Days come and go. I can’t count. Each day, Alvus comes to me and personally gives me Chytheria. Two drops now. The guard complains. My mind is not so cloudy anymore. I am still doing the same rite as that time. The power of the extract, I will overcome it. My nose bleeds again. Blood drips into my mouth. Once more. I must do it now.

“Hey, isn’t her dose three drops? Why are you stopping at two?”

“It was three drops when she still had some strength. Can’t you see? Look at her flesh. It is faint and yellowed. And she bleeds every time we give her the extract. One drop would be enough to keep her in check as she is now.”

Alvus takes a deep breath, then continues. “And you know she is barely eating. The rats takes most of her food. I can swear, those critters will fatten so much they will get stuck in that hole. Why isn’t the nurse feeding her like I told?”

“There is no way any woman will touch her. Specially an unmarried one. The girl Gwen that comes here, the guys have been talking behind her back in the barracks. Treating this bitch might ruin Gwen’s life as well.”

‘As well.’ I’m ruined already in their eyes. I don't care for this town anymore. Only for some people. Had I the power right now, I'd burn everything away.

“It is better if you two pretend you didn’t count how much medicine I am giving her. If anyone complains, let the blame fall on me. Are we good?”

“OK, doc. As you wish. Less trouble for me.”

"Now go get some porridge for her. We will feed her ourselves from now on. If the girl Gwen is troubled, let's do what we men can do for her."

Alvus forces a guard to fetch some gruel, and the other to hold me sitting. Then he feeds me. I’m indebted.

They leave. I’m alone again. The Chytheria and I reached an agreement. I feel what little power I have course in me.

I fight the intoxication. Alone. Time goes. Night falls. I can't hear the sounds of the garrison above anymore. I try, fail. Fight the dizziness. Again. A think strand of magic power lingers...

I am finally able to open my status, and check for system messages. The held back messages course up.

- Skill [Poison Resistance] level 1 acquired.

- Skill [MP depletion resistance] level 2 acquired.

- Skill [Meditation] level 3 acquired.

- Skill [MP restoration] level 5 acquired.

- Skill [MP absorption (plants)] level 4 acquired.

- Skill [Increased MP pool] level 4 acquired.

- Skill [Druid Magic] level 4 acquired.

- Skill [Herbalism] level 2 acquired.

- Skill [Disease Resistance] level 1 acquired.

- Skill [Keen Senses (hearing)] level 1 acquired.

- Title [Desperate Mage] acquired.

- Title [Ascetic] acquired.

- Title [Diamond Mind] acquired.

I’ve been trying to drain the magic power from the Chytheria extract these past days, weakening its effect, and recovering some MP. And now I can surpass some of its effect. I can recover MP, although slowly. But I cannot let it recover much. Because they might monitor my status from time to time, I can’t let the MP depletion status disappear. So I am using earth magic on widening the rat’s tunnels, and several other magics. But the iron the shackles are made of is alchemically treated, it can’t be affected by earth magic.

I also used water magic to make drinkable water in the dead of the night. Just a little. The moss and mold in the cell’s walls, they grew splendidly. The roots of the moss, they enter the stone, widening gaps, weakening certain spots. Almost everything is ready now.

I can open my eyes now, but it is too dark to see anything when the door is closed. I’m underground. There is a grate on the roof, where air comes from. But I keep my eyes closed as a matter-of-fact. I can’t let it slip that I am recovering.

Two more days go by, and I keep doing my daily routine. The rat is bringing young pups with him now. I feed them my night gruel, they greedly accept. Alvus is now bringing a gruel bowl when he comes to administer the extract. The girl Gwen sighs relieved somewhere in town, I'm sure of it.

It is time for my "medicine". Alvus and the rough guards come.

“Look how pale she is. I am giving only one drop today. She won’t make it to the equinox if we don’t reduce the dose.”

“It is fine, doc. She hasn’t made any move all this time anyway. Look, she can barely breathe.”

“Can’t you move her to another cell? This one is too damp, too moldy.”

“No can do, doc. This is the one mage cell we have.” The guard jiggles the chains. Please don’t pull hard on it.

The doc feeds me some bland porridge again. I don’t move. They leave. I can't let them suspect anything.

....................................

Later at night, someone knocks on the door. I didn’t hear any footsteps. It is not the guards. They are heavy.

“Helen? Are you awake?” Its Marcy!!!!!

My heart pounds as I hear Marcy’s voice. I wanna see Marcy. I wanna talk to her. I wanna scream, I wanna shout. But I choke it back. I cough instead.

Marcy was in that search party. Marcy left them put me here. No, she didn’t have a choice. I’m confused. I don’t know who to trust. I’ll stand still.

Sounds of metal gently scraping against metal. Lock picking. The door creaks. Fabric rustling. Marcy rushes to me, lifts me to a sitting position, and hugs me. A strong, warm hug. She is crying, bawling. The coward me doesn’t react. The realization that I am suspicious of my best friend hurts me than all the torture the guards inflicted me.

I move a timid arm, and caress Marcy’s hair. She is startled.

“Helen? Talk to me, Helen. Please. Forgive me. Forgive this useless me.” I’m trash. All the insult vomited at me, I deserve. I am not worthy of your friendship, Marcy.

“Marcy… not useless.” I open my eyes, and look at her. “Marcy rescued me. Marcy was worried sick for me, wasn’t it so?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Helen, I’m sorry. I learned what they want to do to you, I couldn’t stand still and do nothing.”

“I know, Marcy. They are killing me when the equinox comes, and summer turns to autumn.”

Marcy can’t speak. She hugs me so strongly that it hurts. I’m filthy. You will become filthy too, Marcy. My rational mind wants to push her away for her own safety, but my selfish, emotional self hugs her hard.

“Helen, lets run away. You and me, lets run to another kingdom. The north.”

“Yes, Marcy. We will run away. But before, I need to make sure of some things. Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it. Tell me what can I do for you, Helen. Ask anything. For Helen, it is not a favor. I’d do anything.”

“My family. Did they run away?”

“No. They can’t leave you behind. They have been pressuring everyone to let them see you. The lord, the Guild Master, the Knight Captain. All of them said no to them. Not even bribing the guards is working. But uncle Alvus, he is giving us news of you. But he lied. You weren't in this condition in his report.”

“Alvus is helping me. Don’t hate him for a moment, Marcy.” I run my hand in her cheek. “Listen, you have to make Father, Mother and Big Brother leave the town. Fast.”

“They won’t leave you behind.”

“Neither I would leave them. And it means I can’t do anything harsh while they are here. They have to go. Run to the north. Settle down so I have a home to go to. Tell it to them.”

“Yes, yes I will surely convince them to go north before us.”

“Good, Marcy. Another thing...” I hesitate to ask. This will be the final test before I can open my wounded heart entirely for Marcy.

“What is it, Helen. Tell me. Please ask me everything you want.”

“Grendel, is he fine?”

“Who is Grendel? I heard the Guild Master say that name while talking to some adventurers that arrived from the capital, but I was eavesdropping, so I don't know the details.” Marcy is puzzled.

“Grendel is my friend, the one that saved my life in the woods.”

“There was nobody in the woods with you, Helen.” Marcy looks at me with a pitiful look. I’m not crazy.

Then I drop the bomb. “Grendel is the monster that was with me in the woods. He is my friend.”

My heart races. The cat is out of the bag. Guild Master knows, and some adventurers came from the capital. Surely to exterminate him. Grendel is important to me. Special. He is not a monster. I looked into those eyes for too long, I can see past them. There is a man behind those eyes. A kind, caring man.

“Grendel.. is that the name of that troll?”

“Yes. Grendel. He is a troll but not a troll. There is a person inside.”

Marcy is silent. She froze. Her arms relaxed a little. Doubt. Fear. I break the silence.

“Believe me, Marcy. I’m not controlled, I’m not crazy. I know what my heart knows. What my eyes have seen.”

She swallows. Her eyes drift to a corner of the room. There is a painful time gap before she summons the strength to talk.

“They told me you are his bride. A monster’s bride. That monster, violated you, Helen.” She backs away. The same feeling as with the girl Gwen.

A woman is dirty just by touching me. I'm poison. Trash. I feel a terrible heartburn. Marcy cannot hide her abhorrence. In Marcy’s eyes, I’m filthy. Even though she doesn’t blame me. Even though she is willing to touch me. If we are caught here, nobody will marry Marcy willingly.

I cast lifestyle magic on me. “[Cleaning]!!!” My whole body glows, then the filth vanishes from me. Marcy is agape. I use the same spell on her. There you go.

Marcy raises her voice and speaks out loud. “Magic? How?...” I place my hand on her mouth, to silence her.

“Marcy. I want you to look at me. I know you doubt me." She looks distressed. "Shh. Don’t worry. I love Marcy. That is why it is fine.”

“What do you want? What do you mean?” - Marcy couldn’t grasp my words, but her eyes are swaying up and down.

“Slow down. Listen to me. I trust Marcy.” She nods after each phrase. “I love Marcy. I’m pure. I want Marcy to look at me. Confirm for herself.” Marcy swallows dry. I know she understands a woman's body because she helps her mom with her midwife job. If she was not recruited by the Guild Master to be an apprentice, she would've trained to become a midwife.

“You want me… to look at you? There!?!” She is making a cute puzzled and shy look. Then her gaze drifts below. "I believe in you Helen. Don't do this. There is no need."

"But after all these days here and all the cursing and shouting and spanking, it is me that doesn't believe in myself anymore Marcy! What is real? What is true? What are my feelings? Did everything really happened? I am drifting towards a dangerous place. Help me. Help me find out the truth about myself." I touch my tights. I held onto this thin thread called hope for too long, and now it is on the brink of snapping.

She stops my hand. "No. I will trust you even without looking."

"My heart needs confirmation. If I don't do that now, I'm afraid even my memories will change." And finally, the tears that wouldn't come even under torture, come down. Who am I? I'm a village girl? I'm a monster's bride? What is Helen? Should I just give in and disappear in the equinox?

Marcy senses my doubt. Her eyes stop moving everywhere. She locks her eyes, and there I see the warmth of my dear friend. The friend that would not abandon me. The friend that can look where I am too afraid to look at.

"I give up. I think there is no harm in just looking. We are both girls, anyway."

I bend backwards and lift the hem of my tunic. “Look closely, Marcy. This is the proof I’m talking the truth.”

...................................................

Title Explanation:

[Desperate Mage]

Those that endlessly attempt to cast spells while MP is zero and all hope is lost WITHOUT losing sanity. Grants the ability to convert HP into MP.

[Ascetic]

Those that refrain from ingesting food for several days while seeking enlightenment. Grants an increased HP and MP recovery rate while fasting and meditating.

[Diamond Mind]

Those that display unwavering determination and mental discipline under extreme duress and pain. Grants resistance to all abnormal mental status and halves their duration.