《Of Corporate Core Competency Plans, Capitalistic Synergized Growth Projections and Lethal Target Market Analyses.》31 - MT-JW650BU
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CATEGORY: Monitoring Tool JW650BU log
CONTENT:
EXTERIOR AT 82% INTEGRITY
BUFFER REFILLED
STORED MANA ABOVE THRESHOLD
STARTUP INITIATED
ACTIVATING LOGGING
WINN: Come on, help me lift this.
CAMP: No. No. No. None of this is right. I am still bleeding, where is the doctor. Oh, Emperor, I’m about to faint.
WINN: Camprisse, stop panicking and come help me!
CAMP: No. What even was that. What happened, Winn, answer me right now.
FRED: Help me.
WINN: Alright, I got you. Here.
FRED: What happened?
WINN: We got attacked. I think Wegland is dead. I haven’t seen any guards. Camprisse is alright, but as you can see, she is not handling this well.
FRED: Yes. I can see that. I need a drink.
CAMP: Stop ignoring me, Emperor damn you. I am bleeding. Attend to me right this fucking instant.
WINN: Stop screaming. You are barely wounded. I’ve broken three ribs, and my left arm doesn’t work. You have just a few scrapes.
CAMP: I am bleeding. Healer, attend. I will kill you if you don’t attend right now.
FRED: Ignore her. She is in shock. We need to act right now.
WINN: Here. The rest of the supplies are gone, but I found some pale potions and bandages.
FRED: Thanks. Shit, this hurts like a bitch. How are you even standing?
WINN: I’ve had worse in training. Why do we need to act?
FRED: I can't sense Wegland anymore. Headquarters will expect reports. We can handle a few things on our own, but we need to be prepared to flee in two or three quarters.
WINN: Camprisse, calm down, please. You were barely hit. And we need to report this.
FRED: No.
CAMP: Not healing at all. There is sand in my open wounds. I will kill every single last being on this planet if this leaves scars, I swear.
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FRED: We can't report this. They will send an inquisitor, who will kill all of us the moment he arrives here. We need to cover this up, keep the operation.
WINN: We can explain. There are obvious traces of a cell breach outside, we can-
FRED: The inquisitor will listen to our stories, corroborate us against each other, confirm the proof outside, and then they will still kill us. They can't have some young upstarts blabbing their mouth about how one of the Empire’s mighty was killed during a dungeon cell break. You might be a peasant, but you should know this.
WINN: My grandfather-
FRED: A landed knight, right? Your entire family will be killed the moment they even suspect you told them about this. No, we need to clear our asses and make up a story for Wegland’s death. And we need to shut her up.
WINN: How are we go-
MANA LEVELS BELOW OPERATIONAL MINIMUM
TRANSCRIBING RECORDING AND ENTERING STORAGE HIBERNATION
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Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum
Just off the A19, in the dark, incomprehensible lands known as Yorkshire, there lies a town. A town where shadow-silent alleys glint with the secret hunger of knives. Where blood soaks the chipboard window shutters of forsaken terraces stretching off into the night. Where the smog-choked air rattles with the depraved laughter echoing out from clubs that can only generously be described as post-apocalyptic. Well, that’s Middlesbrough. But down the A19 a bit (an impossibly long way down, actually) there lies another town: Raughnen, in the ancient, forgotten Old Riding. It is an equal match in muggery and thuggery alike. It also has magic spells and pointy wizard hats. And now, across the miles and across all sensibilities, a pretty nasty power (a magic one) calls out for its pretty nasty counterpart (a decidedly unmagic one): a proper sound Boro lad. Nothing good can come of it. This is a collection of one novella and four connected short stories: I. A Yorkshire Summoning II. Old Riding Day Trip (the novella) III. Heaven is a Parmo IV. Death on the 66 V. Death on the 257 In total, this comprises 34 chapters totalling around 35,000 words, so try not to worry. It will be over relatively quickly. There are three more short stories with more tenuous links to the core collection: Rush, Paper Round and Scenario 79: Sausage Fingers, all of which can be found in my collection Short Records of Misadventure. Reading these may allow you to make more sense of certain parts of the story, if any sense is to be made at all. NOTE: There are instances of prejudice and discrimination within these stories, including elements of sexism and ageism, which are purely the thoughts and actions of the characters involved and which certainly do not reflect my own views on these matters. ANOTHER NOTE; A WARNING, PERHAPS: This can get a bit weird. In less than 150 pages, we have four viewpoints, first and third person narratives, and a completely disjointed plot with lots of gaps, dead ends and no real resolution. Also ZERO lunatic asylums. It's all a bit odd. If that sort of thing isn't your cup of tea, which it most likely isn't, it might be best to move on now.
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