LETTER CONTAINS SENSITIVE INFORMATION AND IS TO BE CENSURED IN ITS ENTIRETY. PRIVATE RUDDELL IS TO BE REPRIMANDED (AGAIN).

CATEGORY: Personal letter.

SENDER: Private fourth class Winn Ruddell.

ADDRESSEE: Ferdinant Gantericc Ruddell.

DATE: 19/2/932

CONTENT: Dear father,

Please, for the love of the Empire, the Emperor, mother, the family, and all else, get me the fuck out of here. I assure you that I will not live to see the end of this quarter otherwise. I count the Emperor on my naked knees daily for my survival until this point. The number of lethal incidents I have avoided so far has been uncountable. I will die, guaranteed, if I am to remain here.

The old coot might be a world-famous wizard, but his mental state has declined since you served under him. Nowadays, I count myself lucky when I manage to make him do his teleporting duties only a few days delayed. The rest of the time I spent in verbal sparring with the crazy bastard. If the man doesn't want to do experiments that are guaranteed to blow me up, he wants to feed me poison because he forgot what ingredients his lab still hold.

Please leave extra flowers for mom when you go visit her the next time. Tell her that only her patience in teaching me to cook and bake is keeping me alive so far. I can keep him distracted by baking him cakes each day, fooling the fop into thinking it’s his birthday every day. Please, father. If there is any love lost between us, get me the fuck out of here. The sugar is running low, and I barely get three hours sleep each day.

Not all is bad though. Two new assistants came to join me in the servants quarter. One is a standard military type, a massive dick who thinks he is better than all. The other one is a lovely girl from the Inguss family. I might ensure the family’s next generation before I die if things progress as I hope.

Wish me luck and please get me the fuck out here,

Winn.

LETTER CONTAINS SENSITIVE INFORMATION AND IS TO BE CENSURED IN ITS ENTIRETY. PRIVATE RUDDELL IS TO BE REPRIMANDED (AGAIN).