“You came back.”

Not a question, but a statement. One that still left me lost in my confusion. Didn’t I flee to have time to think? So why was she here? Why would she search here of all places?

A bird’s cry echoed through the twilight, emphasizing the awkward silence between us. We had lived together for a few weeks, so silence wasn’t anything new to us, but this time it was the deafening kind. The one that overwhelms the listeners and drowns out their thoughts. The one that tingles all over your skin. And you can’t help but say something, anything, to break it.

“Hmm.” A pathetic answer. But at least a sound.

“Uno’s father told me you’re back,” Thea answered my unasked question. “But you didn’t come to see me.”

“Hmm.”

Another escape into silence. Even that silence was better than the questions that would come next. The ones I had no answers to. Let’s keep quiet, I prayed in my head, but Thea didn’t listen to it. Or she did and didn’t agree.

“Why did you come back?”

Here it was. The question that was both the easiest and the hardest to answer. And my mind was still blank. So I opted for truth.

“To fight the leprechauns.”

“They are real?” A hint of surprise in her voice. “Are they coming for us?”

“I fought against them,” I responded, before I recounted the events during my first mission. And once more I stressed the Púca’s importance, before I concluded my report. “I can’t predict the exact location, but they’ll attack from the south. Everyone here is in danger.”

“So...” Thea pondered for a moment. “Did you give up?”

“No,” I responded a bit too forceful. I felt her movement against my back. “Why would you say that?”

“Because you are alone. There’s no troop of recruits, no guards, and no mercenaries. Only you on your own.”

“I... I came here on my own.”

“On your own?” Even with my back to her, I could envision her disbelieving look. “So you ran away?”

“No I... I... wanted to be helpful and...” I sighed. “Okay... Yes. I ran away. My duty was to watch over some mine offside the fighting. But their mercenaries only protect Gladford and don’t care about the remote villages. And they told me to disregard the villages...”

“So you ran away?”

“Yes.” I gazed at the ditch in front of me and sighed. “I don’t know. This shouldn’t happen. I planned none of this. Leave this village behind and conquer the world. Fulfill my missions and rise through the ranks. That was my plan. But... I couldn’t. When the decision was in front of me, I hesitated.”

“Why?”

“Abandoning humans to save humanity. That’s what they call it. Harsh reality. The wise decision. But to me... it’s unfair. It’s not what a hero would do.”

“A hero,” she asked. “Or a heroine?”

A hollow laugh escaped my lips. It still came to this.

“So you still believe in her,” Thea repeated her question.

“Yes.”

“But why? Didn’t they make their stance clear?

“Because... I need to. Because it has to be like this.”

Silence. Filled with her unasked question. And I played with the little smooth stone in my hand. What should I say to her? Or rather, what could I say to her? There was no way she would accept a story about a former life.

“My mother always told me stories of heroes and dragons.” I began anew. “About evil empires and beautiful princesses. And I always loved their courage and wits. But when I became older, I realized those tales where just that... stories. Bedtime stories to soothe the children. Lovely lies to make the world a little brighter.”

“But I lost more than those dreams.” I sighed. “Because I fell ill and grew weak. So weak I couldn’t move anymore. So weak I had nothing but stories to help me through the day. But those stories were gone. Replaced by cruel thoughts. I am replaceable. I have no value. And the world would go on without me. Until everyone would forget me.”

I closed my eyes and once more caught sight of those white walls. Bleak. Clinical cleanliness. With no sign of me. Instead, it was the proof that they would exchange the beds and look after the next patient right away. A system dedicated to death. And I was nothing but a small cog in the system. A broken cog. Replaced by the world.

“I became angry,” I retold those days. More to myself than to Thea. “I kicked, and screamed, and cried, and begged for someone to find me. And when they listened, I became even more angry because they were healthy and I wasn’t. Because they still had dreams. And I sat in my hole and dug it deeper. Until the light faded and everything became gray.”

“But then I discovered something new. A small ray of light that broke through the gloom. A new story, only for me. There was a cruel world, filled with war and despair. But a young woman rallied troops behind her and stood against the evil. She didn’t succumb to her doubts, but always led from the front and bore the brunt. And in that gray world, she gleamed on her own.”

“But her allies betrayed her, and she died alone.” I finished the sword maiden’s story. “That beautiful, uplifting lie ended with a dose of truth. Like a challenge. Become a hero and prevent this ending. Don’t let the gloom consume that flickering light. And I listened to it. And I thought about it. And I decided. If I could ever move again, I would become a shield to protect that small glimmer of hope.”

I laughed. “It was a childish dream. Like a protest against the world. You can take my strength, my body, and my future. But you can’t take my everything. And then... I became better. It was like a miracle. I had lost so much, but I was still alive. And I wandered the world, met you, traveled to Gladford, and saw her speech.”

“And you thought she is that heroine,” Thea concluded my story.

“Yes. It was exactly like that story. And I, who had once given up on everything, found my purpose. To change that beautiful lie with a horrible ending into a song every bard would love to sing. The hero who protected the heroine.”

“And they lived happily ever after.”

“A great ending!” I laughed. “But she didn’t even say my name when we first met. I mean, of course she didn’t. I was a total stranger to her. But I just wanted her to acknowledge me.”

“Then... do you still think she’s your heroine?”

“I... I don’t know,” I admitted the truth. “I want her to be. She needs to be. A farmer girl that saves humanity from the leprechauns’ threat. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful story?”

“But isn’t your story only a lovely lie?”

“You are cruel,” I responded. But not in anger, rather in resignation. “They are abandoning the villages, but she told me to decide for myself. So I don’t know. You were right with what you said about Houdin. He doesn’t care about the farmers. But with her, I still want to hope... because if she isn’t, everything I did was... just more kicking, and screaming, and crying, and begging. And hurting others.”

“Oh?”

“Back in Gladford... when you said all those things about Rhoslyn... it felt like you were denying my dreams. As if you trampled down on the last things I had left. And I snapped and... you know... said horrible things and... I’m sorry.”

Thea sighed. “Then what are your plans?”

“Defend the southern villages,” I answered. “If the villages band together against the leprechauns, we might have a chance to push them back. We don’t have to defeat their army. As long as their scouting forces fetch a bloody nose, they might just leave us alone.”

“And if not?”

“We run away.” I stated. “We march to Gladford. They can ignore a few secluded villages, but they can’t ignore a militia on their fields. And if they use their mercenaries, we can bait them to clash with the leprechauns.”

“And if everything goes well?”

“We defeat the leprechauns and Houdin acknowledges our achievement. I won’t get punished as deserter, the villages get a reward, and everyone is happy.”

“And Rhoslyn will remain your heroine.” Thea sighed. “So in the end it’s still the same. Everything for her and nothing…”

The voice died down as her weight against my back vanished.

“Well, whatever. I’ll accept your apology if you prove it with your actions. So show me that lovely lie. One where everyone is happy, and the farmer becomes a hero.”

“As you wish,” I answered, following her back to the village.

Only our steps echoed through the silence. A soothing calm, inviting the villagers to close their eyes and enjoy a beautiful dream. And I had to make it our reality.

I looked at the polished stone in my hand, still warm from my body heat. All that remained from the necklace.

Maybe there was a chance...