Chapter 7: Training and disillusion

In my previous life, some people said that Humans could adapt to anything.

No matter how difficult a situation became, we could bear with it to survive. Given enough time, it was also possible to accept this situation as our new reality.

I finally realized that this saying was probably right.

The first few months of my captivity were extremely harsh. I was torn between my wish to protect my family and my desire to take revenge against those who kidnapped me.

However, I wasn't strong enough.

Even if I was, I quickly noticed that it wasn't possible to escape this little house on my own. We were too far from any other Human settlement to have this kind of hope.

Without any other choice, I could only forget my rebellious thoughts and focus on my training hoping to gain enough strength to change my fate one day.

After learning that I could use the four elements, my real training began.

Contrary to my expectation, there wasn't much diversity in the initial phases of each element.

Therefore, I didn't have to learn many different kinds of spells.

I just had to repeat the same magic over and over again.

This kind of training was extremely tiring and dull. Even more without anything else to do and with only a single person by my side.

At first, I didn't really care.

I ignored her as much as I could and focused on my training.

However, Humans are not made to spend their life on their own without interacting with anyone.

Around a year after my kidnapping, in an attempt to change my mind from the boring training, I finally became interested in her reasons for spending her entire time with me in this desolate house far from everything.

Why was she doing it?

Was it for money, or because of her loyalty to my grandfather?

One day, I finally gathered my courage to ask her this question that was always on my mind.

“Why did you accept to train me?” I asked.

“I did it because my master asked me to.” She simply replied.

I stared blankly at her, which then turned into a questioning look. I was sure that this wasn't the entire truth, therefore I delved further into the topic.

“Is that a sufficient reason?”

“It’s the only reason I need.”

“Why are you so loyal to my grandfather? Did he promise you a lot of money to obey him? Will you become a noble when I finish my training? Is he threatening you with a hostage?”

Several days after my prowess in basic magic, she was still smiling and looked like the happiest woman in the world.

However, when those words left my mouth, the smile she put on had faded from her luscious lips. Her dark eyes became colder as she grabbed my chin, turned my head to face her eyes similar to dark pearls.

I was already used to being hit by her and truly never cared whenever she did. At that time, several months already passed since she last hit me, so I was even less afraid of her. However, the moment my eyes met hers, I was terrified. My body refused to move as if I was frozen in fear.

Her face slowly moved closer to mine, then in a silent voice that I almost couldn’t hear.

“Never say that kind of thing again. I don’t do any of those things for my well-being. There is only one person in this world I truly care about and that's not you.”

My body shivered one last time before she let go of me.

We resumed our training the next day and I never mentioned my grandfather to her ever again. She acted as if it had never happened, making me forget the fear I felt that day.

This dull life with only her by my side continued and, without realizing it, three more years had passed.

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“Good, continue just like this. Don’t slow down. ”

“Understood, Amanda.”

Like every previous day, I continued to shoot balls of flame from my right palm toward a target thirty feet away from me. I did this for nearly ten minutes until I finally felt tired.

Contrary to my expectation, just shooting this kind of basic magic was already really difficult for young mages.

The reason for that was simple.

The consumption of a magic wasn't the only point to take into account.

The control over your own mana was another crucial part to become a true mage.

It was the same for everyone.

You need time to learn to control your mana more efficiently and reduce the waste of consumption. It was something every mage had to learn by themselves to be able to use more powerful magic requiring at the same time a bigger portion of mana.

Because of that, just shooting five balls of magic was apparently quite good for a young mage at first.

When Amanda explained that to me, I finally understood what she meant when she told me that I had a ridiculous amount of mana.

Regarding my control over my mana, I was probably the same as the other children of the same age, but because of my reserve of mana, I was still able to shoot much more magic before getting tired.

Of course, this was providing that I didn't move at all and focused entirely on my control.

It was exponentially more difficult to use magic while moving or just doing something else because your mind wasn't totally focused on the manipulation of the mana increasing the waste by tenfold for an amateur like me.

I already tried to shoot magic while running around, but my control over my mana immediately became a huge mess.

Amanda didn't have this problem.

She wasn't an amateur like me, but a powerful mage. Even if she couldn’t be compared to me in terms of mana, her control was in another league.

I couldn't keep up with her when we were moving around.

She told me that she had a small mana pool, but developed her control so she wouldn't be disadvantaged.

As a result, she was able to use nearly as much magic when she didn't move than when she was running which wasn't the case for me.

In our spars, the superiority of her control came into light and left me without any way to compete.

I couldn't be her match for now, but this would only remain true if my control over my mana stayed at this level.

Even if my advantage in mana wasn't as overwhelming as I initially thoughts, it still gave me some benefit in my training.

I didn't need to spend as much time as other children to recover my mana which saved me a huge amount of time to correct my mistakes.

As a result, my growth was quite satisfying even with Amanda's standard.

After four years of training with her, I was able to become an Advanced mage in three elements and a Scholar mage in the water element. It was something that would normally need a couple more years to achieve at the very least.

By the way, to achieve Scholar rank, you needed to master what was communally called ‘Barrier magic’.

It was called that way because it was the obstacle you had to surpass to achieve the next level of magic mastery.

For the water system, it was ‘water shield’, a magic surrounding the body with high-pressure water.

The act of moving water at a sufficient speed to be effective was the challenge of this magic. It required a lot of practice to master, but once I crossed this obstacle, a new world of possibilities welcomed me by being able to add speed to the water I produced.

Before that, I was only able to surround my body with water or have some water interfere outside of my body.

It was totally useless, just as if I was firing raindrops.

However, once I was able to add pressure and speed to the water I controlled, every useless magic I mastered became quite deadly.

Amanda was so happy with my progress that she almost became a totally different person from four years ago.

She became gentle and stopped beating me up. The harsh look she gave me also became a gentle one. Her voice full of impatience transformed into a beautiful smile with words of encouragement.

I didn’t know when it started, but I eventually stopped hating her.

I despised the cruel neighborhood who deprived me of my family, but I was grateful to the woman who taught me magic.

At first, I didn't want to give up on my hatred toward her.

However, she was the only person I talked for several years.

Even if someone explained this to me, I probably wouldn't have realized what this implied.

Who would dare to say that they knew what it felt like to be in contact with a single person without encountering or talking with someone else for four years?

Humans can't live with just hatred in their heart.

Without me noticing, after a couple of years by her side, I finally gave up on the bitterness inside my heart.

My hatred slowly disappeared while she became someone I relied upon.

I realized that the affection I felt for her wasn't real. It wasn't a feeling I wanted to nurture either. However, this wasn't something I could control.

Therefore, I once again tried to know her better.

While I was resting, I turned my head toward her. She was in the same place as usual.

Standing straight behind me, patiently waiting for me to resume my training.

“Do you have a family awaiting you?” I suddenly asked.

She looked at me with a surprised face. Even after four years together, it wasn't in my habits to ask her any personal question.

I initially thought that she would refuse to answer, but after her initial surprise, she simply answered with a calm voice.

“I never knew my parents, but I have a little sister somewhere in this world. However, I doubt she is awaiting me.”

“Why?”

She hesitated a bit before answering.

“We’re not really close. We were, but not anymore. Life separated us years ago.”

“Do you miss her?”

“I do. Do you miss your family too?”

That question felt more painful than I thought.

My life alongside them was already over. It wasn't by choice, but I already made peace with this fact.

I had to.

In order to survive and to move forward. After all this time, I finally accepted this situation as my new reality.

“… I do.” I replied in a slightly depressed tone.

An awkward silence soon followed my reply as I remembered my situation.

“It’s alright to be sad, but never forget who you are and why we are doing this.”

I looked at her in the eyes, trying to guess what she was telling me.

She smiled before continuing.

“We don’t know what life holds for us. I was once a criminal and now I’m serving the Waldemar house who rules over the entire east of our kingdom. I was just a bandit, but now I have reasons to be proud. You’re sad and angry right now, but I’m sure that when you accept your situation you will become the most outstanding leader of the Waldemar house this world has ever seen. I hope to be by your side when the time comes. Will you let me?”

She looked at me straight in the eyes.

She wasn’t lying.

She was thinking every word she spoke, I was sure of it.

It was the first time I realized that I wanted to be beside another woman than Trisha.

Therefore, I accepted her request.

“Yes, I will.”

It took me years to forget my bitterness and the hate I felt after being separated from my family. I couldn't go back with my own strength and even if I did, I would only put them at risk.

I couldn't do that.

I didn't have this right.

Therefore, I put my feelings aside and decided to live this kind of life to the fullest.

It wasn't the life I wanted, but it was the life I got.

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Like every other day, after several hours of the same practice, I finally stopped the slaughter of the metal target.

I sat on the ground, trying to catch my breath. Amanda came up beside me and wiped my forehead with a towel before giving me a cup of water.

“You did well today too. I’m proud of you. In his letter, your grandfather was very pleased with your progress. He is going to take you to the main mansion so that you can continue your training and be given a proper education.”

I felt my heart sink into my chest.

“I-I will leave? When?” I asked in a shaky voice.

“He said he will come in a week."

“Will you…” I paused.

“Yes?”

“Will you be coming with me?”

She smiled hearing my words.

“Of course I will follow you. We will always be together after all.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

Too much time passed with only her by my side.

I probably already forgot that the feelings I had for her weren't real. All I knew was that I didn't want to be suddenly separated from her.

She came closer and gave me a hug.

“I promise you that I will stay by your side, Sillath.” She said in a sincere voice.

After those words, I felt relaxed.

I was already used to having her by my side and I definitely didn't want to live in an unknown mansion with only strangers and my biological grandfather.

“Thank you, Amanda.” I replied with a pure smile.

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The last week passed in a flash.

We waited together at the front of the house to welcome my grandfather.

He was riding a carriage pulled by two tamed Vrapy.

It was a strong species that lived in the desert in the south of the Eastern continent beyond the red mountains. They were faster and stronger than horses from my previous world but were obviously much more difficult to obtain and consequently more expensive.

I learned that we were residing on the western side of the Eastern continent, a few miles away from the green sea, separating the two giant continents.

Since he was coming from the eastern part of the Eastern continent, it wasn’t surprising he chose the fastest conveyance.

The beasts, looking like giant lizards, were covered in dark and red scales.

They approached us while pulling the large carriage.

The long spikes on their back and tail shone under the sun. Once the coachman pulled the cords around their neck, they lay down obediently. In this position, they looked like dogs with sharp teeth protruding from their monstrous mouth.

When the carriage stopped, I finally saw my grandfather for the first time in four years.

He was much thinner than the last time and looked very tired. His disease seemed to have weakened him a lot.

“I’m glad to see you are well, Sillath. You’re taller and look much more like a member of the Waldemar house than the last time I saw you. Good job with him Amanda.”

“I’m glad to hear your words of praise, master.” She bowed her head with a smile.

I imitated her and bowed my head, as well.

“I don’t have much time, I have a meeting with the King soon. However, I wanted to see personally your progress. I was quite surprised when I learned that you were a Sokeï mage and that you already mastered a barrier magic, but since it’s Amanda who told me this, I can only believe her. I would like to see your magic, Sillath.”

“Yes, grandfather”

I turned my attention toward the usual metal target on the other side of our training grounds.

I used the magic I practice every day. Small balls of fire, earth and wind flew to the target. The fireballs were engulfing the metal target, balls of earth crashed against it, whilst the wind I summoned was only moving some dirt around the metal object.

As I hadn’t mastered the ‘Barrier magic’ for those three elements, neither of them was truly powerful. However, the water leaving my palm at a frightening pace left some marks on the massive metal target.

During those five minutes, fire, earth, wind and water flew from my hand one after another. The balls of fire, earth and wind were slow to form and left my hand at an average speed, but that wasn't the case for the balls of water. The difference between the magic before and after the first barrier was fully displayed at this moment.

The barrage continued a few minutes until my grandfather told me to stop.

The rain of magic ceased as I turned to look at him in the eyes.

His brown eyes were shining with a glow that I had never seen. His broad smile made him look much younger and stronger as if the disease was only a figment of my imagination.

“It was true. You really are a prodigy. Hahahaha, the Kingdom will soon shake, once they start hearing your exploits. Everyone will once again understand the true power of the Waldemar family. You did well my grandson and you too Amanda.”

I simply nodded, but Amanda quickly added with her soft voice.

“Your words are too kind master.”

Under her insistent gaze, I also spoke those words.

“Your words are too kind grandfather.”

Even if I hated him, I didn’t want to incur her wrath by disrespecting this man.

I swallowed my emotions and entered the house with them.

We spent several hours discussing the future awaiting me. In fact, it wasn't really a discussion as only my grandfather was talking.

“We will travel to the mansion tomorrow. It will take us several days even with the speed of the Vrapy carriage. While I meet the King, Amanda will stay with you to help you familiarize with the house. When I come back, I will introduce you to your teachers. As the next head, you will have to gather a large amount of knowledge without stopping your magic training. It will be even harder than before. I hope you’re ready.”

“I am, grandfather. Will Amanda stay with me after you come back?”

He looked at me with a small smile.

“If you want, then she will stay by your side. Is that alright with you Amanda?”

“Yes, master. I’m happy to able to serve the young master.”

It was the first time she called me like this.

After all this time, I still wasn't really sure about my feelings toward her. A part of me still hated her, but I knew she was only following the orders of this man.

It wasn't her choice to kidnap me.

More importantly, she was the only support I had and that I could hope to have in the unknown mansion.

After four years spent with only her, it was truly unpleasant to hear her say such distant words.

“I still don’t want to tell anyone about your existence. The coachman doesn’t know who I am.” Continued my grandfather without noticing the difficult expression on my face.

“Why did you do such a thing? You must have enough men to accompany you and surely more coachmen than you need. Why did you hire a stranger and traveled with him alone?” I couldn't help but ask after hearing his words.

He smiled wryly before making a small sigh.

I knew he was around sixty years old, but he looked so tired that it made him look like a frail old man.

“It wasn’t always like this. Fifteen years ago, when I was younger, stronger and with my son beside me, the Waldemar house was flourishing. However, everything changed the year your father left me. He was an excellent warrior and a proper mage, even if he wasn’t astonishing. He would have made a fine heir if only he never dreamed of the outside world. He believed that the world was full of adventures and there were countless mysteries awaiting him. He always believed that since the time he was a little boy. I thought it was just a transitory desire, but one day he confronted me and told me that he wanted to leave the house. He told me he wanted to be free. For a stupid reason like that, he abandoned me and humiliated me in front of the other houses. I was sure he would come back after a few weeks, maybe a few months, but he didn’t. Without an heir, the other houses saw this as a sign of weakness and an opportunity to strike.”

He made a small pause to catch his breath. He looked so frail that it made me almost forgot that it was this man who took me away from my parents and threatened to kill them. I didn’t like him, but he seemed so weak that it was difficult not to pity him.

After a few seconds, he caught his breath and continued his story.

His voice was almost inaudible, but I could feel his sorrow and anger as words began to flow out of his mouth.

“A year after the departure of Millodas, three assassins attacked me. I escaped with my life, but at a huge cost. Their weapons were poisoned. It was a rare poison, only findable on a powerful deviant hiding in the great land of sand in the south. This poison should have killed me, but I survived at the cost of my mana. Every day, my mana pool is becoming smaller and weaker. A man who can’t use mana in this country is worthless and, as the head of the Waldemar family, I was as good as dead. Over time, the noble houses supporting me left, until I was alone. The men who swore their allegiance to me also left me alone. I can’t trust anyone anymore, except for Amanda.”

His gaze became gentle as he looked at Amanda. He then shifted his gaze to me once more before opening his mouth again.

“That’s why you’re a benediction, Sillath. With your power, the Waldemar house will be able to rise from the ashes, just like the legendary beast the ‘Nenshik’. Then, I will be able to destroy my enemies and claim back our past glory. You asked me why I didn’t take my own coachman or men to accompany me? It’s because I don’t have any and even if I did, I would not entrust them with the secret of your existence. Not until you’re strong enough to defend yourself.”

He wore a beaming smile on his face.

It was a mad smile carrying the hopes of a man who lost everything.

A heavy silence fell in the room.

“I must rest, the trip has exhausted me. You should do the same, Sillath. The trip will be long.”

“Yes, grandfather.”

I stood up and left the dining room.

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I couldn’t sleep that night.

I pondered about his story. If everything he said was true, then I understood why he hated my father.

I also felt some sympathy for this old man after hearing his story which was probably his purpose.

Pity was one thing, but I couldn't develop any trust or affection for him despite sharing the same blood.

Some things couldn't be forgiven.

If not for my family, I would have tried to run away from this place long ago.

However, no matter my feelings, I already made my choice. I accepted this life and even if I wasn't happy about it, I would still do my best to become stronger.

It was the only way to hope to be truly free one day.

As I was thinking about my future life, I heard a sound.

It was a regular sound.

If I wasn’t already awake, I wouldn’t have heard it.

I didn’t know what this sound was, but the story I heard a few hours ago suddenly replayed in my head.

Assassins!

Did they follow him in this house?

This thought crossed my mind

I left my room as silently as I could.

Now that my door wasn’t covering the noise, I relaxed as I understood that it probably wasn’t coming from an assassin.

The sound was too regular. Someone cautious couldn't make this kind of noise.

I wondered if I should find what this noise was.

My curiosity quickly won the fight.

I carefully advanced in the direction of the sound.

It got louder and louder until I was able to locate its origin.

It was coming from Amanda's room.

I accelerated my pace and quickly found myself in front of her closed door.

I hesitated opening it, as I wasn’t sure what I would find.

I finally decided to look through the lock.

At first, I couldn’t see anything.

After focusing a few seconds, I saw Amanda’s black hair moving rhythmically.

I didn’t understand until I saw she wasn’t alone. My grandfather was behind her. They moved together. Each time her hair changed directions I could hear a small moan coming from her mouth.

I stepped back in horror.

I couldn’t believe it.

My mind refused to accept what I just saw. It was impossible. She couldn't possibly do this kind of thing with him.

My thoughts raced through my mind as I realized what I just witnessed.

I sat down against the wall in front of their door, unable to believe the simple truth.

The man I hated the most was currently with the only woman I thought I could count on. No matter, how much I tried to deny it, I already developed some affection toward her after spending all this time under her care.

Her moans became louder until it became unbearable.

I ran away without thinking that they could hear me. I entered my room and sat on the wooden floor after closing the door behind me.

I spent the rest of the night replaying the scene I saw through the lock.

After a few hours, I finally calmed down.

It had been a long time since I was so lucid.

I finally realized that Amanda sacrificed four years of her life in this desolate place only for him. I was her mission, probably nothing more.

All the affection and dependence that I slowly build up along those years began to disappear.

Leaving only the cold reality.

I lived alone and died alone in my previous life. It seemed that it wouldn't be any different this time either.

This night, loneliness once again seized my heart as I continued to hear the constant noise that awoke me from my disillusions.