《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 77

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"Yikes, this place is a mess." I say as we reach the first waypoint into Arcadia a few hours later; it's daytime, so the roads are filled with traffic. Not that I'd be able to go very fast anyways, since I'm laying the Mana conduit out as we go. "Let me fix it up real quick, can't have this being people's first impression of Arcadia."

The girls give me their assent, just happy to be able to get out and stretch their legs for a bit.

The first thing I do is decompose and fill in the latrine, it was never meant to hold up against the volume it's had to deal with lately. Luckily I dug them deep, so it hadn't overflowed just yet. Next, I double the size of the clearing and add some three walled huts around the outer perimeter. I don't want people moving in, but there's no reason they should get stuck in the rain.

I then add a water pump to the well, and stone pipes leading up to small water tank and a circle of drinking troughs in the middle of the clearing. And, finally I rebuild the latrine as a proper bathroom at the back of the waypoint. There's three stalls, a sink and a shower on each side, all connected to an over-sized septic tank.

"Thank you." Amelia says while rushing to the newly constructed outhouse. "I thought I was going to pee my pants when you did away with the latrine." She calls over her shoulder.

"It's nice, but not really up to your usual standards." Apricot comments on the changes.

"I don't want anyone living here." I explain. "But, since traffic to the dungeon hasn't slowed down, and likely won't despite the changing weather. I don't want some unprepared idiot freezing to death either." The nights aren't that cold yet, but it doesn't feel like it's that far off.

A high-pitched shriek comes from the ladies room a second after I finish speaking.

"Guess she found the bidet function." I say with a smile and cause Apricot to crack up laughing.

"Dammit, Sorrel. That was... unexpected." She grumps when she comes back.

"Your own fault for not looking at the warning sign. And, it's not like I can just leave a bunch of toilet paper out here." I try to defend myself, but I'm probably still going to pay for this one.

"You could have just told me." She then conjures a spray of water aimed at my ass.

"Happy now?" I ask after letting it hit me.

"Very." She smirks.

I just roll my eyes, and dry myself off before walking back to the van. The rest of the trip to Circle Orchard is uneventful; I don't even stop at the rest of the waypoints, just slow down as we pass, and upgrade them on the go.

I pull the van to a stop as soon as we cross the wall into the dungeon town. A frown appearing on my face when I notice a change in the depths.

"What's wrong?" Apricot asks slightly ahead of Amelia.

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"It's hiding something." They don't need to ask what 'it' I'm talking about. "The only time Co did that was when you told it too."

"No." She gasps. "It's too soon. They couldn't have felt the signal yet, I can't even feel it from the Capital." She starts hyper-ventilating and curls up in on herself.

"Breathe Sweetie." Amelia wraps her arms around Apricot a second before I pull them both into mine. "Just breathe Apricot. We're here. Nothing is going to happen to you, you're safe with us. That's it, nothing can hurt you." The look on her face makes it clear that anyone that tries will pay a dreadful price.

"There you go." I rub my wife's back as she slowly loosens up. "It's okay to feel this way, just let it wash over you. You are one fierce little pixie, and you have nothing and no one to be afraid of."

"T-thank you." She sniffles. "Damn right I'm fierce!" The tears and snot running down her face do nothing to detract from the fire in her eyes. She takes a deep breath to bolster herself before continuing. "Clean me up, and then let's go see just who they are."

I do so and then drive us over to the keep where we find Rea, Coen, and Nicholas waiting for us. "Marquis Rumex." The mayor bows followed by the other two.

"None of that, please. I'm just Sorrel." This stupid title gets more annoying every day. "Sorry, I couldn't stop by last time I passed through. At least, I was able to leave you that package.

"Yes, and thank you again for that." Coen steps forward to shake my hand. "I'd thought I would have to rely on messenger birds to keep in touch. But, now I get to chat with my friends and family every day."

"I must agree." Captain Brant nods. "Just the value of the gate guards and road patrols carrying them is incalculable."

"No arguments here." Rea chuckles. "My family has already joined me, but it's still nice to be in closer contact with the Capital and Riverton."

"It's great to see you all again, but we'll have to catch up later." I say as I sense a Fae of some sort leave the dungeon and creep closer. "It seems some Fae have found the dungeon, and I feel we should introduce ourselves." It makes a squeaking sound and rushes back into the hole in the ground.

"Truly?" Coen's eyes go wide and glance toward Apricot.

"Yes, and yes I'm a pixie." Apricot shrinks down and settles into Amelia's hair.

"Uhh." He seems stunned.

"Of course." Rea takes over. "I'll have dinner prepared for when you're done." She bows her head to me before hauling Coen off. Nicholas following behind with a grin on his face.

"Come on, he heard me and dove back in. Pretty sure it was a wisp." I add hoping that them not being pixies will help Apricot.

"Mhm, let's just do this." She bobs her head.

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Not wanting to waste time with the maze-like cave system the dungeon set up, I just open up a tunnel leading straight into Co's core room.

"You know you're not supposed to be able to do that, right?" Apricot giggles as I slide past its defenses like they're not even there.

I just plaster a smug look on my face before walking into the tunnel. "Greetings Fae. We are the lords of this land, please show yourselves." Silence answers me.

"They're not just going to come out because you said so." Amelia snorts.

"I thought I'd try being polite first." I shrug and walk toward the core. "Hello Co, I know you can understand me, so quit hiding them. Or, I. will. make. you." The air thrums with power as I infuse my words with raw magic. "Good boy." I give the core a pat, and swear I can feel it shiver under my touch.

"You are so fucking hot right now." Apricot purrs.

"It's her!" A squeaky shout rings out from the opening to a hidden room. "I knew that kin-killing worm fucker was still alive."

"Shut your fucking mouth." My tightly controlled voice is laced with anger as waves of power radiate off of me.

"Who's going to make me?" A fairy flies up to get in my face. "You think you're hot shit just because you can bully a baby dungeon? Fuck you, and fuck that gods damned wh-" A wave of force slams the little bastard into the wall, pinning him there.

"I am her husband!" I growl. "I am Marquis Sorrel Rumex, Archmage and Lord of Arcadia. And, I banish you from my lands." Ripping Blackthorne from my neck, snapping one of the strongest threads in existence like it's tissue paper in the process. The staff instantly grows to full size, and then it roars loud enough to shake the cavern walls as I whip it through the air and shatter the insectile bastard's connection to the dungeon. It takes all I have and then some to not just squish it like the bug it is.

"Flee, and never return." I bounce a Mana Gem off its head before wrapping the insect in a shell of magic and launching it away from my lands at supersonic speeds. "Now, the rest of you had better give me a damned good reason not to treat you the same way." I yank the rest of them out of their hidey-hole and make the motley assortment of Fae grovel before me.

"Sorrel! Stop!!" Apricot goes human sized and tackles me, forcing me to drop the staff for fear of hurting her with it. "I knew him, he used to date one of my cousins. I think these are just his friends."

"Sweetie." Amelia pulls her wife into a hug. "I love you, but think about this. He tracked you down all this way, and it wasn't just to reminisce about old times. Just be glad Sorrel's such a softie, if it was me..." She doesn't say anything else, just snaps her wand out creating a meters deep gash in the cave wall.

"Lord, please spare us." The wisp I saw earlier tilts his head up to address me. "We are indeed Serien's friends, but he was lost to grief and anger, and we only came along to try and keep him safe."

"You didn't try very hard." I snarl, still struggling to control my anger.

"For which we are deeply, deeply sorry." He presses his head into the ground again. "Please forgive us, and we will leave peacefully." The others, a female wisp and two more fairies murmur their agreement.

"And then what?" I ask as my emotions finally start calming down. "Just because I didn't kill him today doesn't mean I won't if he comes back. And I swear to you that even the gods themselves would learn to fear me if they dare harm my family."

"I believe you." He squeaks out as the waves of force I unconsciously released presses him and the other's into the ground. "Please, I'll tie him up and drag him back home personally. I'll even kill him myself if he's foolish enough to try and come back."

"Fine!" I snort and let off the pressure. "But, you tell the Council. -Yes, I know about the council, and not from Apricot either.- Tell them that if they want to send a colony here, then I want access to their library in the future, and copies of any records regarding Fae to Awakened bonds. That, and the Mana Well in the Capital is off limits, it is our home."

"There's a Well too?" The other wisp mutters.

"I, Thalian, swear your conditions will be met." His hazy form rises to one knee and salutes with fist to chest.

"Good." I toss a Gem to land in front of each of them. "Head due north and follow the magic, you should catch up to him in a thousand kilometers or so." I grin evilly. "Unless of course, he was stupid enough to tamper with the protective shell, then you'll find his remains much earlier."

"He'll be out cold for days after having his connection shattered like that." Apricot says, still clinging to my side.

"That's still better than he deserves." Amelia snarls.

I nod and restore my necklace with a thought before guiding us out, the hole in the ground sealing itself as we walk. "Let's go get lunch, and remind me to catch some grass-hoppers later. They're pretty good if you roast them and coat 'em in chocolate."

"Eww." Amelia scrunches up her nose, but Apricot smiles a little bit and that's what I was going for.

"Thank you for not actually killing him, I know that must have cost you." My orange haired lover pulls me down for a kiss, and then whispers in my ear. "And, that line about the gods fearing you. So fucking hot!" She nibbles on my earlobe.

***

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