《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 68

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"Sorrel, Apricot, Amelia. Hello." Lan greets us as Apricot and I are in the middle of our latest dogfight with Amelia spectating. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Nope, I'm just about to win." I move my right flank in for a feint, only to have a kite that I made Apricot think she had downed, rise up and cut her formation in half just in time for my left flank to sweep in and wipe them out.

"Arrgghh!" She screams and throws down the handles she's holding and drops her control over the rest of her troops. "Dammit Sorrel, that was dirty and you know it."

"Your own fault for not paying enough attention to what you thought was a defeated foe." I chuckle and make her fallen kites explode into scrap paper which Mittens immediately charges into and tries to catch.

"He's got you there sweetie." Amelia agrees with me. "I thought something was funny when he let that one fall so easily."

"Hahah, if this how you usually spend your time?" Lan asks with a chortle.

"Oh, this is a new game, but pretty much, yeah." I laugh as our invisible cat is having a field day chasing little bits of paper. "Amelia's not much good at it, but Apricot's actually got a slight edge over me despite my higher stats. That's why I had to get tricky."

"You mean that's why you had to cheat." Apricot stomps over and starts playing with Mittens.

"Uh, is your cat..." Lan trails after seeing the fake Mittens walk right through Apricot's leg.

"Oh, all the Mana has started affecting him." I explain. "Just look for the floating collar to find where he really is."

"But, no magic please." Amelia quickly adds. "He's still in flux, and we don't want him to pick up anymore than he already has."

"Truly? I've never heard of anything quite like that." He rubs his chin. "I suppose that going from almost no Mana, to... well, this." He gestures to the tree. "Must have triggered a more extreme reaction."

"Yeah, but he's still the same kitty, just with magic now." I shake my head at the silly feline. "So, what have you got for me?"

...

"Summoning a Magma Elemental!" We're in the kitchen and I'm flipping through the papers Lan handed over while cooking lunch. Most were upgraded versions of spells I'd already figured out, but occasionally I'd stumble on something like this. "Hells, Lan I'm glad we never had to fight."

"Don't put too much stock in elementals, they're usually more hassle than they're worth." He says with a rueful smile. "And, don't sell yourself short. Judging just from that one fight, you seem to have already learned the most valuable lesson for any mage. It's not the spell, but how you use it."

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"There was some siege weaponry too." I counter.

"Which you controlled with Magic."

"Oh, fine." I give in with a huff. "But, I still need to learn what I might be up against in the future. I didn't even know summoning elementals was possible, and I can only take precautions against threats I know to take precautions against."

"Your paranoia is leaking through again, babe." Amelia warns me.

"I know, sorry." I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment. "I think it's these stupid security Runes for the castle, and the reason they're needed. Cendassa's bad enough, but I don't think they were the ones to send that spy."

"Trouble with the neighbors?" Lan says with a raised eyebrow.

"Bunch of greedy bastards." I spit. "They left Larendath alone as long as she didn't have anything worth taking. But, one gods damned dungeon pops up, and they're all over us. And, guess who's marquisate lies on the only open border?"

"Ah." Lan sighs in understanding. "You know, we have a saying in my language that fits this perfectly. [Sucks to be you.]" He says it with a straight face which only makes me laugh all the harder.

"Thanks for that." I say after laughing away my tension. "I've been getting better about dealing with the stress, but sometimes it just sneaks up on me."

"After you're done with those, you need to do something just for fun again." Amelia orders. "Maybe we can go dirt bike riding again, but preferably closer to home this time."

"Dirt bike?" Lan tilts his head to the side. "Is that a spell of some kind?"

"No, it's form of enchanted transport used for fun." I conjure a movie of us playing around at the moto-cross track I built in the grasslands. "Maybe we could buy up one of those big manors and turn it into a track, or get a farm outside the walls. It's that or I build it deep underground."

"Now, those look fun." Lan leans down to get a better look. "Awakened usually use their own power or tamed beasts to get around. So, the only enchanted transports I've seen before are for long range travel, or moving bulk goods about."

"Yeah?" It doesn't exactly surprise me, but it's still disappointing. "These run off Fire Mana. Give me some metal and I'll build you one. There's also the Iron Horse a larger motorcycle, and a four wheeled car. But, they all use the same basic engine design." I dismiss the movie and replace it with images of our three vehicles.

"I like the Iron Horse." He smiles at the hog. "Could you make one entirely from metal?"

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"Aside from the tires and maybe the seat, sure." I shrug. "The engine should handle the extra weight just fine. But, it'll have to wait until after lunch." I plate everything up in front of us.

...

"I just got off the phone with the housing agent." Amelia says after lunch. "They don't handle farms, but said she knew of one not far to the south that was abandoned a few years ago after the well got fouled in a feud with the neighbors. You'd have to buy it through the Crown though."

"That shouldn't be a problem, I'll just ask Oliver when I deliver the Runes."

"Can you just finish the fingerprint checker?" Apricot pleads.

"You wanna go riding again, too?" I laugh and rub the small of her back. "Alright, it shouldn't take me long."

"Can I ask what these enchantments are for?" Lan says with a hint of trepidation.

"An imposter replaced one of the Queen's maids a few days ago." I sigh. "I was up there for lunch and only caught her because I was already on edge and noticed her eyes were different than what I remembered. They don't have a lot of skilled Light Mages, so I offered to build some security Runes to help ease the burden."

"Those won't be foolproof." He warns.

"I know, but it's better than nothing." I can't help but sigh again. "And, this is just the first steps. Hopefully by the time I'm done, no one short of a shape shifting Archmage will be able to slip by them."

"Hah!" Apricot snorts out a laugh. "I thought you 'drew the line' at a full body and blood scan." She throws my earlier words back in my face.

"Eh, you already know I'm a perfectionist." I shrug again. "I doubt I'll ever go that far, but I won't be happy until I have a detection method for each of the basic elemental magics."

"You might as well just try to enchant an Evaluate Rune." Lan says jokingly.

"Now, there's an idea." I immediately spend my last free skill point on it, and start casting while opening my magic sight up wide. "Lan, you cast it and let me see from the outside."

"You can't be serious." He scoffs, but the girls and Temmie all just laugh at him. "Why is the Scroll of Judgment laughing?"

"Because Temmie already knows that Sorrel is impossible." Amelia answers between laughs. "And, if he wants to find a way to do something, then he will."

"He already offered to build her a body." Apricot adds. "And, she only turned him down because she didn't want one, not because she didn't think he could do it. Now, just cast the spell."

"Also if you have Identify, or Analyze, those would help too. Any of her cantrips really." I say while trying to find the link. "Oh, and drink this." I fill a small glass with Healing Sap. "I need to see inside your head."

[Oh, what the hell?] He switches to his native tongue and downs the shot before casting all three in succession.

"Damn, Temmie. You're not going to make this easy, are you?" *Ding**Ding* She just laughs at me. "Fine, you want me to work for it, I'll work for it. Keep casting Lan. Realm! Haste! Slow! Don't think you can hide it by sending the link through another dimension either. Planar Net! Astral Vision! Truesight! Gotcha!" I catch a glimpse of my target for just a split second subjective time, but it's enough.

"What the fuck was that?" Apricot nearly shouts and rubs her eyes as I let everything drop. "Are you trying to blind me?"

"Sorry." I pant out while slumping in my chair. "That was time magic, and me basically inventing three detection spells on the fly. -That last one kinda hurt too.- But, the good news is that I got a glimpse of the link and think I know how it works. Bad news is that it's going to be... difficult to create a Rune that can forge a link to Temmie."

"You say that, but your eyes are flashing like it's already half built in your head." She counters

"Hah!" Lan barks out a harsh laugh. "I should have known better than to give an Archmage an enchanting challenge."

"Or Sorrel any challenge." Amelia chimes in.

"I'm beginning to see that." He nods. "So, what was in that glass anyways?"

"Oh, that's just Healing Sap. It transfers some of my vitality to the drinker, I figured out how to use that to piggyback other spells past the body's rejection of foreign Mana."

"Ah, I don't blame you for working that out." He nods. "I always hated mending bones, even with Mastery it's like working with gloves on. I've heard there were ways around it, but this is the first time seeing one."

"I wish I knew a better one. My strength recovers quickly, but I can only offer up so much. I'm afraid one day I'll have too many people to heal and just won't be able to manage."

"You'll figure it out babe." Amelia touches my arm.

"Well, enough about that." I pat her hand before standing up. "Let's go build some bikes."

***

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