《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 67

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I'm using one of my vines to play with Mittens after the painters left when Amelia plops down on the couch next to me.

"You've got that pensive look again." She leans over and kisses my forehead.

"Yeah, just thinking about medical Runes." The look on my face doesn't entirely leave, but a smile is added to it. "Aside from the toxic pigments they've been exposed to over the years, the painters all had a variety of health complaints. Most of which wouldn't have been an issue if they were treated properly to begin with."

"And, you want to make runes to treat everything."

"I'm not sure that's possible." I counter while making Mittens chase the vine in a circle. "I'd love to, but the way that bodies naturally reject foreign Mana makes it difficult."

"But, not impossible." She prompts me to continue.

"No, but unless I can find a work-around, the best I can do is override that resistance with brute force. And, doing it that way means using a skilled healer who's been trained to know when and how to use the rune properly."

"So, you can do it, but you're afraid someone else is going to screw up?"

"Pretty much." I nod and try to get the kitty to jump in the air after my vine. "Take the enchantment to increase blood pressure, disregarding where it came from, it could save lives, but also kill if used improperly. So, do I make it, and spend months training people to use it properly, or do I stick with simpler stuff that won't harm, but also won't help as much?"

"Now, I see why you've got that look." She kisses me again, and pulls Mittens up onto her lap. "I think we both know that you'll eventually take the 'way of thorns', but maybe there's a shortcut. What about that zinc essence?"

"It works." I nod. "I tried a piece on one of the painters, it's slow, but it did start working immediately. No idea how though, I didn't sense any Mana, or anything else from it."

"Okay..." She sticks her tongue out of the side of her mouth and furrows her brow. "What about your Healing Sap? "What if you combine the zinc with it, or store it in the zinc?"

"That is a good idea." I pull out the chunk I used earlier, and fashion it into a small bottle. "Hmm? There seems to be a small amplifying effect, but only right where it touches the metal." I use magic to pour it all out into a conjured glass. "The effect seems to last... right up until I quit channeling."

"Did it use up any of the zinc?"

"No, Identify gives me the exact same mass." I fill the bottle again while absentmindedly stroking Mittens' fur. "Let's try a glass made from Mana Gem this time. ...The unaffected Sap is losing vitality like before, but the rest seems to be trying to bolster it, but at extreme Mana use."

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"That's something, at least." She's got a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Let me try thoroughly mixing it this time." I vanish the cup and start over. "Mana Drain is still high, but not as bad as before." I frown and shake my head after calculating how long it will last. "It's still too fast to be viable. One last thing to try." I will some of the essence into the cup.

"Anything?"

"It's better." I waggle my hand in a 'so-so' manner. "If I know a few hours beforehand that I'll need a lot of Sap, then I can use this to stockpile it. But, knowing that one material, even if it is a near mythical metallic essence, affects the Sap's longevity makes me think that others must as well. Great! Another project to add to the list."

"You'll figure it out." She takes my hand in hers, causing me to frown.

"Uh... babe, you haven't been the one tickling my vine?" We both look down to Mittens to see that he has a couple Water Magic tentacles rising up from his shoulder blades. They're currently petting my vine as I pet him with it. "Well, those are new. I guess he takes after both mommy and daddy."

"Oh, Apricot's going to be jealous, maybe we can stick some wings on him." She chuckles and scratches our little mutant under his chin. "Well, let's go see what she thinks."

...

"Hey Apricot." I call out as we enter the theatre room. "Amelia broke your cat."

"I did not!" She stamps her foot. "He clearly got the idea from you. Hey, I thought you were going to wait to watch this one with me?" She scowls at the guilty looking pixie.

"Look, Mittens finally manifested." She tries lamely to change the subject. "Oh, come on. You were de-broodifying Sorrel, and I was bored. It's only a few minutes in, I can restart it."

"We can all watch it together... after you explain about Mittens." I steer us back on course. "Did you know this was going to happen?"

"I knew something might, especially after Turner noticed he was getting heavier. But, you knew as much as I did." She shrinks down and flies over to investigate the kitty. "I'm guessing he was touching the both of you when it happened? It looks like he's still in flux, so we should be careful about what magic we expose him to."

"You mean like a magical race that's excellent at using their innate control of magic to hide themselves." I say as she lands on his head, only for it and the rest of him to vanish and seemingly re-appear on my shoulder, minus the collar that he left behind in mid-air.

"Uh... Yeah, just like that." She smacks herself on the forehead, before reaching down to pet the now invisible head that she's sitting on.

"Hey Amelia." I do my best not to laugh. "Apricot broke your cat. Hahahahahaha." I fail miserably.

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"It's not funny." She says, but I can see her trying to hold back her own laughter. "Can you fix him?"

"At the very least, I should be able to add an enchantment to this." I tap the disembodied collar. "But, we should probably wait until whatever this is settles down first. At least it'll be harder for other animals to try and snack on him now." I try to show her the plus side of this.

"Don't worry, I should be able to train him to turn it off." Apricot offers.

"Ah, fuck it." She sighs and rubs his invisible rump. "Gimme some popcorn and let's watch the movie."

***

"That is so weird." Apricot says when she walks in on me testing the palm vein scanner. "You can see all the veins through the skin."

"No, that would be more like this." I overlay a complete blood vessel map onto the simplified one that the security rune is showing. "I'm trying to keep everything as simple as possible for these first Runes, so I'm just using different light to look through the skin instead of powering through with Mana to track the blood directly."

"Oh, I see it now." Her eyes gleam slightly as she looks at her palm. "I usually block out the lower spectrum, it tends to muddy things up. But, I thought you were going to use eyes or fingerprints."

"I am going to use both of those, but this will be a hidden trap to catch clever shape shifters like me. It's also the easiest to build." I shift my hand to match hers. "See how the veins moved but didn't re-orientate. It is possible to shift them around, but also a real pain in the ass, and that's if you know where they're supposed to go. This isn't perfect, but nothing really is."

"You really are paranoid, you know that." She chuckles.

"No, paranoid would be running full body and blood scans on everyone." I shrug and show a transparent copy of my body with the bones, nerves, and blood vessels highlighted. "But, I had to draw the line somewhere. Hells, I had enough trouble getting the Runes to match up just a few veins. Finger prints shouldn't be too much harder, but I'm kinda dreading eyes."

"Somehow you haven't convinced me that you aren't paranoid." She scoffs playfully, knowing as well as I do, why I'm doing this. "Now that you've got this one done, why don't you take a break and have some fun?"

"Amelia's not letting you watch the rest of the movie series is she?"

"Dammit, am I that obvious?"

"Yes, yes you are." I smile and sweep her up into a hug. "But, you're also right I could use a break. Let's go fly a kite, this is the first breezy day I've seen since getting here."

"What? Is another bird going after Mittens?" She asks confused.

"No, a kite." I conjure an image of the classic diamond shape, and it only makes her look more confused. "It's a toy that flies on the wind." I explain.

"Oh." She doesn't seem too thrilled. "Eh, alright. Why not?"

"Don't sound too enthused there." I pull her outside, and have just started making a couple basic kites when Lan calls.

"Hello Sorrel, I have those books all copied for you." He says in a strongly accented Varecian.

"Hello Lan, that's good to hear. Also good to hear that your Varecian seems much improved."

"That's all thanks to you. I've been going over all the conversations from the party that you translated for me. Thankfully our languages have similar uh...[syntax]."

"Syntax, yes." I provide the correct word. "Well, I was just taking a break from enchanting. But, we'll probably eat soon, if you want to drop by for lunch."

"That would be nice, thank you. I'll see you in about an hour." He disconnects.

"Oh, boy." Apricot claps her hands together in glee. "New magics for you to go nuts over."

"I'm hoping for some theory books." I nod and smile at her antics. "Really dive into the mechanics of Magic, instead of just piecing things together as I go. Or, just willing it to happen and hoping for the best. But, even just some books covering spells I don't know would be nice."

"Well, you can show me how these kite things work while waiting for Lan to show up." She snatches one of them away from me.

"Alright, follow me." I take off running while playing out the line.

"Okay. That was fun, but now what?"

"Now we put up more." I makes dozens of other kites of all shapes and designs, and use magic to lift them aloft. "And, then we hunt." I make two stunt kites with sharp blades on their leading edges. Hers shaped and colored like a Luna moth, and my kite like the bird of prey of the same name.

"Now this is more like it." She takes the handles of hers after I launch it, and quickly gets the hang of maneuvering it. "Dibs on the dragon." Instead of just going for the line, she has her kite cut straight through its prey. "Hahahaha. Oh, this is fun."

I join her and we quickly decimate the defenseless flock, leaving their corpses to litter the yard.

"Hah." She crows. "I got more than you did, I win."

"Really? Because I think we tied." I have my kite slice through hers while she's having a premature celebration.

"Noooooo!" She falls to her knees with her hands raised to the sky.

"I knew it wasn't a mistake to introduce you to Star Wars." I laugh before making my kite explode into confetti.

***

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