《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 66
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"Did you have fun playing with Oliver?" Amelia says in her best mom voice.
"Yeah." I chuckle. "That old man plays dirty though. He's already figured out how to counter the trick I used against him before Riverton, and did everything in his power to slow me down. Almost had me too when he flattened my tires."
"You boys." A gentle smile brightens her face. "Oh, I almost forgot. Kyle said that Calv Yarnham called and was hoping to speak with you as soon as possible, said it's urgent."
"The starweave guy? He barely even said hello at the party, I thought he was jealous that I could make it myself." I snort and tap my watch to bring out the phone. "Stupid social obligations, I was hoping everyone would leave me alone after the party."
"You wish." She laughs. "If it wasn't for Kyle giving us some breathing room, we'd be buried under requests."
"Mhm." I give her an agreeing grunt and dial the man's number. "Hello Mister Yarnham, my man Kyle said you had something urgent to speak with me about." I jump right into it.
"Oh, Marquis Rumex." I get the feeling that he just bowed to the phone. "Thank you for speaking with me so quickly."
"Not a problem. Kyle wouldn't have bothered me if he didn't think it was important."
"I hate to bother you about this, but there's no one else I dare contact about it." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "The one and only loom that starweave is made on just broke. My grandfather, the one who built it, was a rather skilled Mage. He'd always hoped that another Awakened would be born into the family, and so he made several parts of the loom completely inaccessible to anyone without magic, he even warned that the whole thing would self-destruct if tampered with."
"And you want me to fix it for you because I'm the only other person who already knows how to make starweave?" I fail to keep the dubious tone out of my voice, and can hear him audibly gulp.
"I can reward you quite handsomely." He offers up meekly.
"Yes, he can." Amelia mouths with a twinkle in her eyes, which makes me roll mine at her avaricious nature.
"Oh, very well." I sigh. "But, we've got lunch with Marta Adeen and her painter friends, so I hope morning's okay with you."
"Thank you Lord." I swear he bowed again. "Any time you choose is perfect."
"Mhm." I grunt and drop the call. "You aren't going to feel that way once my wife gets done squeezing you dry." I chuckle, but she full on cackles in glee.
...
We get out of the Rocket in front of a very well secured factory. "Looks like grandpa Yarnham liked his secrets. This place could give the palace a run for its money in terms of privacy and security enchantments."
"That he did." Calv and his son Phip greet us with synchronous bows. "Thank you again for being willing to come all the way over here."
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"Mhm. Anything to make my merchant wife happy." I smile and he gulps at the predatory look on her face.
"Oh you guys are so screwed." Apricot whispers so only Amelia and I can hear her. "Alright Mittens, you stick close to us, you hear." She talks out loud to the cat in her arms. "There's a lot of dangerous stuff around here that we don't want you breaking."
"Don't you mean that he would get hurt on?" Phip asks while stretching his fingers out for Mittens to sniff.
"No." Amelia sighs, and scratches behind the kitten's ear. "The little guy is such a danger magnet that Sorrel had to enchant his collar up to protect him."
"It can't be that bad can it?" The young man looks a bit shocked that anyone would go through such trouble for a cat.
"It really, really can." She shakes her head with a sigh. "His collar can take more of a beating than your entire factory, and he probably needs it more too. Just last night he decided to climb the tree and almost got picked off by a hawk after reaching the first branch. Then, he slipped and fell when he was about halfway to the second."
"And, you said I didn't need to upgrade his defenses." I chuckle. "What could a cat need Slow-fall for?" I send her words back at her.
"Oh hush, and thank you for not listening to me." She kisses me on the cheek, and Mittens on his forehead. "I still think the whole royal suite was a bit much though."
"Yeah, tell me that again after he decides to jump at a Fireball or something because he thinks it's a toy." I counter and she hangs her head in defeat. "...So, that's the thing, huh?" I say after the weavers let us into the secured loom room.
"Yes, will you be able to repair it?" Calv asks nervously.
"I can't say for sure" I shake my head slightly. "Your grandfather put a lot of enchantments into this. I'm going to have to pick my way through carefully."
"Why don't we talk over here while he works." Amelia says to the man while I make a show of 'hmm'ing' and 'haw'ing' while making a circuit around the machine.
"Apricot, I may need your help here, these enchantments are really layered on here." I need her help following Amelia's little play, is more like it. I could have fixed the loom without entering the factory.
"These aren't half bad." She nods while stroking Mittens' fur. "He may have been one of this country's last decent enchanters. Well, before you came along that is."
We bend over the machine and talk Mana flows while Amelia puts them through the wringer. It takes another five minutes before she gives the pre-arranged magic signal, but keeps haggling.
"I think we've almost got it. Yes, I'm through all the defenses and can spot the broken linkage, looks like it was bit of metal fatigue in this one spot. I can patch that up no problem."
"Sorrel." She says my name with an exasperated sigh. "Oh, I suppose what we've worked out so far will just have to do." She looks at me and shakes her head in a disappointed manner while using her Water Magic to write up the contract.
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Calv's got a decent poker face, but I can see a few beads of sweat on his forehead, and a look of gratitude flashes in his eyes when he looks at me. "Excellent, thank you so much."
"Not a problem. The loom was still in remarkable shape." It really was, the old mage knew how to build to last. "I've fixed the piece and only had to touch up a couple of other trouble areas. She should last you even longer now, as long as you keep treating her right, that is."
Calv walks over and starts it up, and everything works perfectly. "Once again, thank you. Know that you have my entire family's most sincere gratitude." He takes the contract from Amelia and signs it against the side of the loom.
...
"You are vicious babe." I tell Amelia after we drive off. "That much coin, and three and a half percent of their profits for the next decade. Hahahah."
"Oh, that felt so good." She sighs in contentment. "You two played your part perfectly. Gods, did you see the look of relief on his face when you spoke up?"
"I saw it." Apricot say with a grin. "I also felt the rush you got from haggling with him, almost gave chocolate a run for its money."
"I'm going to have to upgrade your tub of gold into a swimming pool soon, if you keep up like this."
"Hah, just wait until the profits come in from your chocolate, brilliant idea wrapping the bars in aluminum, by the way." Her grin matches the pixie's. "It's literally as cheap as dirt for you, but everyone will go nuts for it."
"Oh hey, this place has a decent library, remind me to add it to the list." I say as we drive past a small manor house.
"When are you going finish that portable library for me?" Amelia gives me the puppy-dog eyes.
"Oh? I need a break from the security Rune for Oliver, anyways." I say while cataloging in my head everything I still need to do to make it work. "So, I can work on the portable library before lunch, and if it's not done by then. I should be able to finish it up tonight. Might take me a while to fit it into your watch, though. It is a bit more complex than the movie player"
She gets a giddy smile, and bounces in her seat. "That's fine, thank you."
***
"They're here." Amelia wakes me from my focus on the enchanting. "How's it going?"
"Good." I nod as I come back to myself. "I've got the weight and feel of the paper down, and overlaying the words was easy enough. But, I've got to warn you, scanning all the books again is going to leave me with a headache, and you dealing with a Sour Sorrel later."
"We've dealt with worse." She smiles at me lovingly while using her hand to mess up my spiky hair. "Any other issues?"
"The runes for the smell are still giving me trouble, but I think I've got that figured out." I conjure that sweet, slightly floral mix of almonds and vanilla in a cloud around her head. "And, I kinda wish I was further along with my data Rune too. The glass works fine, but I'll still have to copy everything twice if I want my own. Other than that, we're good."
"You're the best. Now, come on." She pulls me to my feet. "Marta brought a wrapped canvas." A smile lights up her face. "They all did actually, but I can't wait to see hers."
"There you are." Abby hops up from her seat. "You're going to love this. Aunt Marta's been working on it like crazy."
"Yes, well, I'm sure you know what it's like when inspiration hits." The painter unwraps her gift with a gleam in her eyes.
At first glance the painting shows the three of us standing in front of Queen Vivian with tears of joy running down all of our cheeks as we're pulled into a hug by a human-sized Apricot. But, if one looks closer they can just faintly see us sitting at Marta's dining table, love painted on our faces as we look up at the projection of our wedding.
"Oh, Marta." Amelia chokes up. "It's perfect."
"It really is." Apricot agrees and pulls us into another hug.
"Thank you Marta." I finally manage to say after just staring at the image for a moment. "That may not have been how we planned to be wed, but I wouldn't change a thing that happened." I squeeze my wives tight.
While we've been standing there with stupid looks on our faces the other painters have been unwrapping their gifts as well.
They're mostly various land and waterscapes, usually featuring an apricot tree in some fashion. My favorite was a toss-up between the one with apricot petals drifting onto a still pond. And, a painting of the vardo at night, light leaking from the door as a Luna moth flutters around one of the lanterns.
"Thank you all, these are magnificent." I address the gathered artists.
"No, those image takers of yours are magnificent." An old elf named Carey Dyer counters. "No more having to call clients in for long sitting just to get the finishing details." Several of his compatriots offer murmurs of agreement.
"Oh? Well, here." I take the cameras left over from the party out of my inventory. "These only hold about a thousand pictures. So, you all may as well take them, it will probably be a while before I can get around to selling better versions."
"Thank you lord." He says and they all bow to me.
"Please, none of that." I'm never going to get used to all this crap. "Now, let's get you all fixed up, and then we can have lunch."
***
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