《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 57
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Twenty minutes later and the six of us are on our way, Apricot didn't want to leave Mittens behind again. So, he's curled up in my lap while I drive, and she goofs around on the new games next to me.
Even if I didn't have magical senses, I would still be a be able to feel Deluca's gaze from the back seat, locked onto the device in Apricot's hands. Not wanting her to bother the girls so soon, I decide to distract her and discretely make a book.
"Deluca." She jumps a little when I say her name. "I want to thank you for all the materials you provided me. I'm sure there's something in there that I can use." I hand her the book. "Here, it's a copy of my designs-" Some of them, at least. "-and a few of my notes and observations."
"Thank you, Sorrel." Devlen says for her when he sees that she's speechless.
Meanwhile, Amelia looks up from her book just long enough to mouth 'softie'.
I'm actually able to get Snake, and Tron done during my shift behind the wheel. I even got a fair bit of work done on Centipede. But, poor Q*bert got vetoed again, so I've got to decide whether to go for some Nintendo games next, or if I should re-create some phone games.
Deluca watched me enchant for a bit, but she's mostly had her nose stuck in the book I gave her. Devlen fell asleep shortly after we left the walls, he promised to take a turn driving tonight.
After Amelia takes over driving, I finish off centipede and then take a break from enchanting to go through all the notes Deluca's team compiled. There's all sorts of different gear sets, and even some ideas for enchanted shifters. But, there's nothing that really solves the problem.
I'm about to toss it all back in my inventory when a crossed out sketch catches my eye, mainly because there's no gears in it. It's a simple drawing of a rope attached to a pulley on one end, and a long cone on the other. The words 'move pulley?/cone?' are written beneath the drawing, but were also X'ed out, and 'too unstable' written over them.
"Babe, look." I hold the drawing up and block Amelia's view of the road. "There's no gears. There's no gears." I choke out a hysterical laugh. "I don't know how, but I will make this work, just to show those many-toothed bastards who's boss."
"That's great dear, but I can't see the road." She laughs and pushes the paper out of her face.
"You found something?" Deluca looks up from the book, her eyes filled with hope.
"Yes! Who came up with this idea?" I show her the sketch.
"That was Damita from the front desk, actually. She said her grandfather was an amateur inventor and used something like it on his windmill."
"Hah! Bunny girl for the win." I crow. "She's getting a big bonus when we get back. Coin, babe. Just coin." I quickly add when Amelia stares daggers at me.
"Huh?" Devlen snorts awake. "Whut? What's going on?"
"Sorrel found something in the notes I gave him." His wife explains, and uses a handkerchief to wipe the drool from his face. "Will you really be able to make that work?"
I just nod and retrieve a hunk of iron and some rubber from storage before getting down to work. Re-creating the sketch, I start to play around with it. The big problem is immediately apparent, as the pulley moves down the cone the slack in the belt changes. This would require another tensioning pulley to deal with, but that's not really feasible at the speeds the engine will be running at.
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So, I get rid of the pulley and just play with the cone in my hands while letting my mind wander. I'm rolling it around, this way and that, but it's not until I flip the cone end over end, that it hits me.
With a huge grin, I replicate the cone and put two of them next to each other in a frame, only with opposite orientations. My grin turns into full blown laughter when I add a belt between them and start cranking. The belt moves to one side as I crank faster and faster, and back to the center when I slow down. Adding a heavy wheel to the output lets me simulate load and draws the belt the other way.
"That fast?" Devlen squeaks out. "You play around with it for a minute, and boom you've got a working solution!"
"Now you know how I felt, Dev." Deluca pats him on the arm.
"It's a start." I nod, still distracted. "This works, but it's too bulky. Hmm? what if I..." I trail off as another idea hits me.
Looking at side-view of the cones reminds me of the pulley. So, I flatten the cones into rods and add V shaped pulleys to them. "I'll just need to lock the outside of this one, and the inside of this one. Then, angle the belt to match..." I mutter to myself.
Splitting the pulleys in half, I weld the outside half of the drive side, and the inside half of the output pulley to the rods. "Need a spring to tension the output... And centrifugal for the drive?" I try it out. "No it won't work at the speeds I need, maybe hydraulic? Yeah..."
A few more minutes of adjustments and muttering, and some grumbling when I had to add a planetary gear for reverse. I also had to upgrade the belt to steel plates -I'll do nanotubes later, when the guild's best Earth Mage isn't watching me. But now, I've got a compact, perfectly working, continuously variable transmission.
"Thank you Deluca." I turn around to face the mage. "That was really bugging me." I toss the transmission into storage, deciding to attach it later, if we aren't all eaten by some giant beasty. "And, sorry for muttering so much, it helps me think."
"Not a problem, I do the same." She chuckles. "And, you are very welcome."
"So, you've got everything you need to make more of these for the kingdom?" Devlen asks.
"Pretty much, but right now they still need a Fire Mage to charge them. I have ideas for that, though. And, I'd like to work on the oil some more too. The blend I'm using now works, but it could be a lot better." 'Note to self; find some crude oil and start messing around. That, and maybe re-invent organic chemistry from scratch because I always slept through class.' I want to go back in time and slap my old self.
I almost cry at the thought of how much trouble I could have saved my future self by at least reading some more of the damned text books. A perfect memory is great 'if' you learned something in the first place.
***
The night passes un-eventfully after that. I tried to get started on modeling a runic physics engine in order to recreate Angry Birds, but it quickly gave me a headache. So, I took a nap instead, I want to be at the wheel when we enter the mountains.
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We made good time, and the sky is just starting to lighten when I sense the guild team at the range of my perception. Everyone else is still asleep, so I decide to give them a few more minutes.
I haven't pushed my senses into the ground yet, Just in case I annoy whatever it is. I've even been careful to not let any Mana to leak while creating the road I'm driving on now. But, I can feel it down there, and I definitely get why the team was scared.
"Nnh, what is that?" Apricot groans and sits up. "Fucking hell, that is a lot of magic."
"No idea, I don't want to go poking around just yet. You know, in case it gets angry." I let out a nervous laugh. "We're almost at the campsite, I'll look once we're all together. And the sun is up."
"Good idea." She gulps. "We can use them as a distraction while we run away if it tries to eat us." A chuckle slips from her lips.
"Ooogy." Amelia shivers before sitting upright with a wide eyed look on her face. "Sorrel, is that the thingy?" I nod. "Uhh, now that I think about it, my fear of heights is stupid and a flying island would make a perfect home."
"Right there with you babe." I pull her into a hug.
"Shit, I think Nev may have understated things in his message." Devlen says from the back seat, either woken by our voices or the increasing pressure.
"Ask him yourself, were here." The Rocket crests a rise and I pull us to stop right outside a circle of tents.
"Dev?" A young, sandy haired elf calls out from where he's re-kindling the previous night's campfire. "Is that you? How'd you get here so fast?"
"Hello Sylas." Devlen climbs out of the back seat, careful not to wake his wife. "That's all thanks to Marquis Rumex and his invention here. Any idea what's going on? Nev's letter didn't make it seem this bad. Bad, but not this bad."
"Don't worry, it only does this near dawn. Best guess is that it's surfacing for air. But, boy did it scare the crap out of us on that first night." A rugged Fire Mage steps out of a tent across from us. "Devlen, Lord Rumex, thank you for coming so quickly. What's the plan?"
"Run away and turn our home into a flying island before it reaches the Capital." Apricot half-jokes.
"Call that our back-up plan." I rub the mop of orange hair on her head. "I'm going to wait until the sun, and everyone, is up and then sneak a peak. After that? Well, I may have some ideas." Stuff I'd very much rather not use, but will if it's the only way to deter whatever this thing is.
"Considering that my only plan is 'run away', I think we'll go with whatever you can come up with." He laughs, but there's not much humor to it. "How about we get breakfast going while we wait?"
"Please, let me." I break out my mini-pantry and start making a hearty breakfast. The smell of frying bacon pulls everyone from their bedrolls, and backseat, in Deluca's case. "I can do juice, tea, or coffee if you need a bit more of a kick to wake up." I start brewing a couple pots and set out a big pitcher of orange juice.
"Can we get you to come with us every time?" Sylas moans after shoveling in a few fork-fulls.
"I second that." - "Mmm, please." And, various noises of approval meet his statement.
"Sorry folks, he's already taken." Amelia dips a corner of her toast into the yolk of her fried egg.
After we finish eating and I've cleaned up the mess, to even more appreciative sounds, I turn the car around and take a minute to expand it enough to fit all of us. "Just in case." I explain to the gathered mages.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure you can find a way to kick its ass." Apricot cheers me on as I sit cross-legged on the earth.
I just nod and will Blackthorne into the air where he grows full size before landing in my palm with a light slapping sound.
"A heavy, black staff? Why do I get the feeling that that description is not entirely accurate?" Nev says after inspecting my weapon.
"Heheh" I chuckle. "I hit level two crafting this, it's been with me -and, through a few upgrades- since then."
"My man knows how to build." Amelia brandishes Ramoth. "Well, as long as it doesn't involve gears." Her laughter fills the morning air.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real funny." I shake my head. "You won't be laughing when those many-toothed horrors come for you." I conjure an image of a cog that bends in half to form a mouth. It chomps it's metallic teeth and starts flying toward the teasing blonde.
"Eeek, Mittens save me." She hold up the kitten, and uses his paw to swat at the illusion. Playing along, I make it burst into a scattering of brassy shards before fading away. "My hero!" Amelia kisses his forehead and snuggles him before letting him go back to eating leftovers.
"You guys are strange." Sylas says with a laugh.
"More than you know. But, enough putting this off." I heave out a sigh and turn serious. "Time to see what we're dealing with."
Touching Blackthorne to the ground, I send a tight tendril of magic down into the earth. It doesn't take me long to find the source, not that I feel any better about that. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to feel about this.
"Well, what is it?" Apricot demands. "You keep making these weird faces. Just show us already."
"Uh, sure." I conjure an image of a meter long earthworm.
"It's a worm?" She scoffs. "Yeah, that's kinda big for an earthworm, but still."
"Oh sorry, the scale is a bit off." I expand the image out to ten meters.
"Well, that's a bit better, but it's still just a worm." She says, but starts looking around as the others start gasping. "What? What is it?" She looks closer and falls on her ass when she see the tiny copy of me waving at her from atop its head.
"Fuck me!" Deluca swears. "Just how big is it?"
"Just over a kilometer long, and dozens of meters wide." A hysterical laugh bubbles out of my throat. "Normally you want worms in your garden, but this?" I shake my head and dispel the image, not wanting to see it anymore.
"What do we do?" One of the team members asks?
"Call it in, ask if anyone's heard of anything like this first." I say, materializing my phone by tapping on my watch. "Then, probably try to find a way to kill it. Even if it is just a worm, its size alone could devastate the Capital."
"Hello, Sorrel?" Oliver answers the phone call. "I take it you found the disturbance."
"You could say that." I heave out another sigh. "Don't suppose you've ever heard of any kilometer long earthworms before, have you? Cuz there's nothing about them in any of the books I've read."
"A what?" It sounds like he just dropped into a chair.
"Yeah, that's pretty much our reaction."
"I can ask around, but I'll tell you right now. No one has ever heard of anything like that."
"Thought as much." I nod even though he can't see me. "I'll figure out how to kill it, then."
"Are you sure? It is just a worm after all. No, don't say anything. I knew it was stupid as soon as I opened my mouth. All it would have to do is surface and it could destroy half the city." He chokes out a laugh. "A gods damned earthworm destroying Larendath. Hah! Things sure have been interesting since you showed up lad. I wish you luck.
"Thanks, I think we'll need it."
"I'll call back if I do manage to find someone that knows anything." He disconnects.
"Okay." I get to my feet, and clap my hands together. "All our magic put together isn't even going to scratch that thing. So, we're going to need to think outside the box."
"That's a pretty fucking big box." Apricot swears and finally stands back up.
"Yes, it is. But, fortunately I know that 'normal' earthworms are very susceptible to a lot of different substances. And, I can grow quite a few poisonous plants. That's what I'll be doing." I look at the small gathering. "Does anyone else have any ideas, questions, comments? Know how to summon a giant mole to eat it for us?"
"It's not really pertinent." Sylas speaks up. "But, what was that thing you used, and how where you able to talk to Mage Long from here? Also, thank you for that, I've never heard him flustered before."
"New communication rune I invented, calling them phones. They use relays that I setup on our way over to talk to each other." I take out a small box full of them and hand them out. "The mages in the capital all already have one. They only work near the relays, but those cover the road from here to the Capital, and from there to Riverton."
"What more can you tell us about worms?" Nev asks. "You seem to know something about them, which is more than any of us can say."
"Not sure about this one." I start. "It's magic was too strong for me too look at its insides. But..." I conjure a transparent image of a common earthworm and zoom in on its head. "This is what your typical nightcrawler looks like on the inside."
"Eeew." Amelia scrunches up her nose. "Never did like these things, they're even creepier on the inside."
"Yeah, little bit." I agree, and start highlighting organs. "That's the brain above the mouth, the nerve cord runs down along the length of the belly. There's five hearts wrapped around the esophagus. Yes, five. They have both male and female sex organs, and can have sex for three hours straight." That gets a few laughs. "The rest is pretty much just one long digestive tract."
"Looks like, aside from poison, our best bet is to hit the big guy from inside." Nev says while peering up close at its brain. "Though, how to do so is beyond me."
"It may not come to that." I change the image to a copy of my ballista. "I can make these as easy as I can grow poison. And that's just the basic model, I've had a few breakthroughs recently that I can apply to make it even deadlier. And, if those don't work, I may still be able to do something."
"No offense, but you are one scary fucking guy." He laughs nervously. "I thought I knew all the nobles, but I've never heard of anyone named Rumex."
"He's the one who discovered the dungeon, They were named Count and Countesses of Circle Orchard just after you left." Devlen explains.
"It would have just been baron, but well... things happened." I say somewhat embarrassed.
"Like awakening the Queen, inventing your phones, and of course chocolate." Apricot sings my praises and chomps into a bar she pulled from her inventory. "And then he saved Riverton from the Cendassans to get promoted. Show them the movie." She commands.
"Do I have to?" I mutter but play it anyways.
"I take it back." Nev says after the recording from Riverton finishes. "You are absolutely fucking terrifying."
"He's a big softie is what he is." Apricot condescendingly comes to my rescue. "Did all that because he doesn't want to kill anyone."
"Don't make him any less scary." He chuckles. "Hells, now I feel kinda bad for the worm."
"Well, don't just rely on me." I say before I start walking a safe distance away to grow and refine as many poisons as I can. "I'm just one man, and that thing down there is nearly a million cubic meters of worm." I say to sober them up and then conjure a life-size image of it's brain to send the message home. "That's is just it's brain." The damned thing is bigger than the campsite.
"Fuck!" Sylas spits out the oath. "I know you said it's big, but seriously?"
"Seriously." I extend a bit of effort and make a one-to-one scale copy of the mega-worm and wrap it around the hill we're standing on. "Now, I'm throwing a party in a few days, and I really don't want to miss it. So, let's get to work." I turn back around and continue walking.
"It's alright babe. He didn't really mean it." Amelia comes running over to join me.
"I know." I breathe out through clenched teeth. "I just don't want to be known as The Nightmare of Larendath, or something equally stupid like that." My face blanches when I think of something.
"What? What is that look for?" She asks.
"They're going to start calling me Wormslayer after this. I just know it." I half laugh, half sob.
""Hahahaha."" My wives crack up laughing.
"Oh, I can see it now, your crest will be a rearing nightcrawler on one side and broken gears on the other." Amelia gasps out while bent over with her hands on her knees, tears leaking from her eyes.
***
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