《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 26

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"Your people lived on the moon?"

"Oh, no. Not yet at least. It's far too expensive. We just sent a few people to collect some rocks and plant a flag." I play an abbreviated version of the moon landing video for them. "He was supposed to say 'for a man', but he flubbed the line. That funny suit is what's keeping him alive without air."

"I think I understand you a little better now, if this is the kind of world you come from."

"That was one of our better points, yeah. We only went there a few times half a century ago, though. Bunch of stupid bullshit kept us away since then, but some people are trying to get back and set up a permanent base."

"I think I'd like to keep my feet on the ground for the foreseeable future." Amelia shivers a little, and I can feel Apricot nodding along from atop my head.

"Yeah, I get that. Still it'd be nice to make the trip, if only once. And I would very much like to see this world from orbit." I conjure a globe of the Earth, my old Earth.

"Is that your home? Aside from your family, and some tidbits about science here and there, you haven't really talked much about it."

"This is my home." I hug her tight. "It's still a little painful, I guess. I'll tell you both more about it tonight. But, it looks like there's someone waiting for us, right now."

When we get home there's a carriage from the castle waiting for us. The girls groan, thinking it's the Princess again, or another summons to the Castle. "Don't worry, it's just that page again, looks like he has a letter. Hope he hasn't been waiting too long."

"Master Rumex, Mistresses Rialta, and Apricot the pixie." The page walks up as I'm paying the driver. "You have been formally invited to the Castle in three days time to attend a celebratory gala, and to honor the services you have provided for the kingdom." He bows and holds out the letter.

"Thank you." I hand it to Amelia. "It's our first ball, anything we should know in advance?"

"Her Majesty took that into consideration and included a list of the evening activities and what is to be expected. A carriage will pick the five of you up at sunset, after arriving at The Palace you will be presented as the guest of honor during a ceremony. There will be a banquet dinner after the ceremony, followed by an evening of socializing, entertainment, and dancing." The page explains.

"Sounds interesting. Thank you again, and please thank Her Majesty for her consideration."

"Will do, Sir. Do you have any more questions?"

I check with the girls, but they just shake their heads, so we let the palace servant go. Amelia skims over the package as we head inside.

"It doesn't look too bad." She states with a slight frown. "As the guests of honor we'll be eating at the Queen's table, and will probably have to put up with small talk from the nobility after dinner. There's no mention of just what the ceremony will be though."

"Oh, it's probably just a Knighthood. We may have done a lot for the crown, but we're still newcomers, and even the Queen can't afford to annoy the nobility by promoting us too much. At least, that's how it would work back on *Earth*. Oh, that still sounds so weird in this language. I'll just call it Dirt or Soil instead." I joke to lighten the mood.

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"Oh, just a Knighthood? Well, I guess that's alright, then." Her voice drips with Sarcasm.

"I could be wrong. She might name me Archduke, Protector of the Realm right before she announces my betrothal to the Princess." Apricot breaks up laughing at this, Amelia tries to keep a straight face, but she soon follows. "Look, all we really have to worry about is whether you two need new dresses. That and maybe attending a quick dance lesson; all I really know is the foxtrot."

"Oh, I really want to show off my favorite, but the Queen's already seen it." Amelia whines.

"Don't worry, I can just change it up a bit, adjust the neck and hemlines, alter the pattern a little, it won't be a problem." I soothe her worries. "I'm just glad I'll be able to make some proper shoes this time. Can't believe neither of us thought of that before."

"Thank you; you're the best, Babe." She gives me a peck on the cheek. "Oh, you'll need leather for the soles, and I don't even know where to find a dance instructor. We've only got three days to get ready. Ack." She starts freaking out.

"Relax. Just breath." I pull her into a hug. "With our stats, the dancing won't be a problem. And, I'm sure Devlen, or someone at the guild can help us find an instructor. It's not like we were planning to do anything but spend the week shopping, anyways."

"Silly lunker, getting so worked up over a little dance." Apricot teases.

"Don't think you're getting out of it, either." I disabuse the pixie of her notion. "I've got three days to make Mana Stones and study a Magic Library. I'll be damned if you aren't getting Embiggened long enough for a few dances."

"Uhhh... What? No! No dancing for this pixie, two left wings here. Just save it for the night after." She looks desperate.

"Sorry sister, but this thing will likely last until dawn." Amelia says with a laugh. "Sorrel, give us some music."

"Glad to. Embiggen!" I start playing Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy, and cast just as Apricot takes off to fly away. "Go get her; I'll hold the spell as long as I can."

"Ack, no! Get your hands off me you stupid lunker." Apricot moans, but doesn't try to pull away. "I'm used to flying everywhere, I can barely walk, let alone dance on these feet. Certainly not in front of a bunch of strangers."

"You're doing great, Apricot." I tell her with only a hint of stress in my voice. The extra level in Control that I got earlier seems to help with the strain, but this spell is still a beast. "Just follow Amelia's lead. She was able to pick it up just by watching me the other night. You can do this." I'm almost out of magic, so I take out a couple Mana Stones to make it through the rest of the song.

"See, it's not hard, you're a great dancer. There's no need to start being shy again." Amelia leads her into a few spins as the song comes to an end. Bringing her right next to me so I can kiss her before dropping the spell. "We love you Apricot, and want the world to know. So, no hiding in my hair all night. Please."

"You guys don't play fair." Apricot huffs.

"Speaking of not playing fair. You held that spell and a song for almost three minutes." Amelia says accusingly. "What was the song called, by the way, it was so cute."

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"I needed a couple stones to get through it but yeah, that level in Control from earlier helped a lot." I chuckle. "The song was Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. But, I think it needs to be renamed to "The Apricot Pixie" now."

"Hahaha, you and song choices. Just how much music did you listen to?"

"Oh, music was everywhere in my old world, we were able to record music just like we could movies. And I was never picky about what I listened to, so I must have tens of thousands of songs in my head. I almost went with a song called Gigantic, by a band named The Pixies. But, the style is bit different than anything you've likely heard before."

"Tens of thousands?" - "Ooh, I wanna hear it." They say over each other.

"Yes, at least. And, sure. It's not like I just drained all my magic or anything." I laugh at Apricot's excitement for a band named after her species, but start the music anyways.

"What are those instruments?" Amelia asks after a minute.

"Electric and bass guitars, along with a drum set with brass cymbals. Dancing queen actually used the same stuff, plus piano and tambourines. A lot of popular music was actually just those three instruments with maybe one or two more." I try to conjure pictures, but almost lose the song. "I'll show you in a bit. That version of Sugar Plum Fairy was done by my favorite violinist, Lindsey Stirling, but it's usually played on a *celesta*... Guess that doesn't translate. It's like a mix between a xylophone and a piano. Oh good, xylophone does translate."

"Hah." Apricot erupts when the song finishes. "Gigantic. A big, big love. Oh, that was perfect." She laughs again before turning serious. "But quit pushing yourself, I saw you almost drop the spell when you tried making an illusion."

"Heh, it's worth it to make you smile. But, yeah. I need to sit down for a bit. You mind handling dinner Amelia? Your parents should be getting home soon, and I think Mittens is hungry again."

"Sure, but since you're telling us more about your *Urth* tonight anyways, I want you to start with music. I want to say that I can't believe you know that many songs. But, at this point it would probably be more unbelievable if you didn't." She shakes her head before picking up the kitten.

Dinner passed quickly and we'd normally all retire to the sitting room for a movie, but I had to beg off. Between the library and holding the Embiggen spell for so long, I just wasn't up for it. So, I played some classical music for them instead, while I sat reading.

Amelia's parents were a bit overwhelmed to also be invited to the ball. They were still a bit shaken just from meeting the Queen and didn't want to deal with not just her, but all the nobility too, and in a formal setting this time.

The next morning had us up late, once again, I don't mind, though. The extra sleep was just what I needed to set my brain back in order. After a quick breakfast we grab the first carriage we find and head for the guild with a quick stop over at the housing agent to let her know what we decided.

"Mittens! Are you going to do this every time we come here?" The little butthead jumped down and made a bee-line for the receptionist as soon as we enter the Guild building.

"I got him." Apricot lands on his back and tries to reign him in. "Uhh, little help." She cries out when he completely ignores her.

"Come here, you pest." Amelia scoops him up and tucks him in her shirt again.

"You know, I have to wonder if that wasn't his plan in the first place." I say as the kitten snuggles right in, and starts purring. "Just look at him."

"I think you may be right." She laughs and pets him on the head before guiding us up to the counter. "Hello Hana, thank you for helping us out yesterday."

"Not a problem. What can I do for your today?" She says with a professional smile.

"There are a couple things we need advice on." I speak up. "First, we need to know who to talk to about selling some Mana Stones without stepping on anyone's toes. And speaking of stepping on toes, we were hoping someone here could point us to a good dance instructor.

"You guys got invited to the Gala?" Claire, the redhead, asks excitedly. "Oh, you're so lucky."

"The best person to ask about Mana Stones would be Devlen, but he's not in today. He will be here tomorrow, though." Hana ignores her workmate's interruption. "As for the instructor, you'd be best off asking Florence Abner, the Head Librarian. Not only is she very pleased with you right now. But, as a noble, she would know the best dance tutors."

"Is she in?"

"She's always in." Claire speaks up again. "Those stacks are her babies. Just go on back and one of the librarians will tell her that you're here."

"Thank you again, both of you." Amelia says. "Let's head back there babe. I want to get a dance tutor as soon as possible."

"You don't have anything to worry about. I told you, you're a natural dancer, and so are you, miss 'two left wings'." I ruffle their hair, Amelia's by hand, and Apricot's by magic.

"Knock it off." Amelia swats my hand away, and conjures an ice mirror to fix her hair.

"I'm not going to complain if you want to pet me." Apricot flies over to whisper in my ear. "But there are a few spots that might be more fun than just my hair." She gives my earlobe a tug before dancing away through the air.

"Whatever happened to our bashful little pixie?" I sigh melodramatically. "You used to shriek at just the sight of our nude bodies. Now you're asking me to grope you in the middle of the Mages Guild, where anyone with enough magical sensitivity would know exactly what's going on." I tease her by sending a stream of air along her spine, right between her wings.

"Oh, damn! Why did I ever tell you about that spot." She shivers in mid air. "And those were screams of frustration, and you know it. You damned lunkers are too sexy for anyone's good." She huffs.

"Maybe I just miss hearing you scream." I tease in a low voice. "Lately all we get out of you are panting grunts, and repetitions of 'oh gods, oh gods, oh gods'." I use a spell to playback her voice from last night.

"It's not my fault that you two take me straight past screaming, and into just trying to hold on for the ride."

"Will you two quit it; we're almost at the library. Dancing first, sex later." Amelia chides us.

""Yes, Ma'am."" We reply in sync.

Walking through the double doors, we spot the same librarian at the desk as yesterday. "Hello, Margrit was it?" Amelia says after stalking up to the desk. "We were hoping that Lady Abner was available to speak with us."

"Of course I am, and none of that lady business. After the favor young Sorrel did for the library, you get to call me Florence." She leans in and erects a soundproof bubble around us. "I'm only fifth in line for a minor barony anyways, and if the rumors are true... You'll be outranking me soon." She says with a glint in her eyes.

"No?" Amelia gasps out. "The invitation said there'd be a ceremony, and Sorrel thought he might get knighted... Won't this cause havoc in the nobility?"

"Think about it, babe." I come to a sudden realization. "What newly profitable town is in an area so remote and formerly worthless, that no one could do anything with it? And what would happen if that town were to be handed over to one of the existing nobles?"

"Oh, you are a quick one." Florence's smile is so wide that it practically splits her face open. "And, you're exactly right! It would destroy a fragile balance. Larendath may be a peaceful country, but that is only because of the skilled management of the Larens’."

"Ugh!" Apricot moans. "I thought we were done with the dungeon."

"Don't worry madam pixie." Florence soothes. "There's more than one Baron that never leaves the capital. The Crown sent three of her best down to manage Circle Orchard, and since the whole of the grasslands are solely under Her control. The only change for you three, unless you wish to get more involved, will be having to sign off on quarterly reports."

"See, it's not that bad." I coo to Apricot. "And if I'm the Noble in charge of the area it'll be a lot easier to arrange for Fae to take up residence in the dungeon. Oh, gods. I'm going to be a noble." I mutter to myself once it finally settles in.

"Heheheh. It's not all that bad, deary. Now what did you three come here to talk about?" She drops the spell.

"Oh, yes. I suppose it's even more important now." Amelia says after a deep breath. "We need a dance instructor, Hana at the front desk said you'd be the best person to ask for referrals."

"Oh? And here, I'd heard that you were already quite the skilled dancer." She winks.

"Ah, just the one dance, unfortunately." I answer with a shake of my head. "Neither of us have any idea what the local dances are like. I'm sure we can pick them up in no time, but Amelia was a bit worried. More so, now." I put my arm around my fretting beauty.

"I know the perfect tutor for you. Use him myself whenever a new dance makes the rounds." She explains. "Once he learns that you used a new dance with Her Majesty, he'll beg to teach you just for the chance to watch you perform it." She leans over the counter and writes a letter of introduction for us, then folds it in half and sketches out a quick map. "He's not too far from here. Tell him I said hi."

"Thank you so much." Amelia tucks the letter away. "That is one worry of my mind, even if it did get replaced by a much bigger one."

"Heheh." The librarian's laughter fills the room. "Don't you worry about a thing, dear. It'll all work out. Now, I'm sure you want to rush over there, But Sorrel, I hope you'll be able to make time to go over the original books soon."

"Of course." I nod. "It might have to wait until after the gala, but within the week, certainly."

"Good, good. Now, go take your girls dancing." She waves us off.

"Thank you again." I give her a small bow before leaving.

"You're going to be a B-B-Bar..." Amelia sighs. "I can't even say it."

"Here, eat." I holdup a piece of milk chocolate. "It'll help you relax. Yes, you can have a piece too Apricot."

"Mmm." She moans. "Oh, that is so good. Thanks, I needed that."

"Better? Good. Because if I'm going to be a B-B-Bar." I tease by mimicking her stutter. "Then, what does that make my future wives?"

"Oh gods." She slows to a stop, with her mouth hanging open, so I pop another bite of chocolate in. Meanwhile Apricot's just laughing her ass off. Either at Amelia's reaction, or the idea of a pixie Baroness. "What am I going to tell Mom and Dad?"

"That you can get them some really good deals shipping to and from the dungeon?"

"I'm serious." She says seriously.

"Open." I hold up another piece. "Ow! No biting. You heard Florence, aside from some paperwork, nothing's really going to change. Well, some people might start calling you Lady, but that's it. And, that's only if the rumors are true. Now, come on. Let's go dancing."

"Mhm.. More chocolate." She opens her mouth again. I pretend to give her a piece, but sneak in for a kiss instead.

"Mmm, you're sweeter than any treat." I smack my lips.

"Thanks for calming me down, but I still want chocolate." She grabs my hand and pops the candy into her mouth, along with a couple of my fingers. Using her tongue to lick the residue from my thumb and forefinger. "You don't taste so bad yourself, Milord." She grins wickedly and walks away.

"That woman is going to be the death of me." I say while adjusting my suddenly too tight trousers.

"But, what a way to go." Apricot chortles.

We left the Guild with a wave to the receptionists, and headed over to the dance instructor. Once he read the letter, he was practically falling all over himself to get us inside. We demonstrated the foxtrot, and I explained the basic variations and how it can be adapted to most music. He was so over the moon at this that I felt kinda bad for not watching all those talent shows my sister was into.

After that he walked us through a dozen dances we'd be likely to encounter during the gala. Most were couples dances, but there were a few line and circle dances that he demonstrated with his assistants. And, one for two or four couples to perform together.

Despite Amelia's fears, all three of us picked them up so quickly that we surprised the instructor, even though he was already accustomed to Awakened clients. I've got my enhanced memory to thank, but the girls are just naturals.

We were almost done when I asked if there were any dances specifically for three people. There was, and it was actually pretty fun, with lots of flowing movements, twirls and trading the lead. I Embiggened Apricot for it and we had a blast, for all of three minutes.

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