《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 09

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Amelia hugs me before bouncing over to begin clearing her side of the road. She's clearly excited, whether it's because of the potential bounty, her very real gains from the fight, or whatever prank those two are planning to pull on me. Either way, I'm just happy to see her smile.

Behind us Charlie quickly gets the caravan going again, John and the guards spread out and alert for trouble. Once we're directly across from the opening, Amelia and I clear a large circle on the north side of the road. While the wagons get situated I walk the circle and start growing trees for a palisade. Taking my time, so as to not leave myself drained, I create a smaller version of Southwood's defenses.

While I'm doing that, Amelia is clearing the grass out a couple hundred meters. She uncovered the dungeon opening first, but nothing popped out. So, I grew some thorn bushes around the damned thing, and left John's guards to watch it.

The sun was starting to set by the time we finished. After I gave the new camp one last walk around to set some lights Charlie came up to us carrying a couple big bowls of stew. John trailing in his wake.

"Ah, thanks for this." I say with gratitude. "We kinda skipped lunch."

"No, thank you Sorrel, without you... I shudder to think what might have happened."

"I'm glad I was here to help, but you should know that I'm likely responsible for the attack in the first place. It didn't react until I sent my magic out." I explain.

"No you're not lad." John butts in. "It had forces on both sides of the road waiting to ambush us. You spooked it into moving early, and gave us warning. Not to mention what the two of you did during the fight." He says, voice full of gratitude.

"You sure?" He nods and smiles at my baseless worry. "Okay then, that's one thing off my mind. Now, I'm sure you want to know what we've decided." They both nod. "Amelia and I had plenty of time to talk it over. And, we've decided to stay."

"I'm going to need you to deliver a letter to Daddy for me." Amelia says from beside me, a bit choked up.

"Oh, Lia girl." Charlie starts, but Amelia cuts him off.

"I know, and I don't want to tell them this way.." Her voice hitches briefly. "But they'll understand, and Rodrick would be spinning in his grave if I passed on a deal like this."

Pulling her close with a side-hug, I take over. "Speaking of deals. Amelia is going to have her father use his connections to register the dungeon in her name. And, if you'll let us, we'd like to buy you out for ten thousand. Amelia says her father can provide a tenth of that up front, and I should be able to create enough goods to make up the rest within a few years, easily."

"Son, that's.. that's.." The merchant stutters. "That's just too much. We would all be dead if it weren't for you and Lia. I. I just can't accept it."

"Tch, dammit." Amelia mutters causing confusion to coat the man's face.

"Heheheh, sorry." I chuckle. "I told Amelia that you'd never accept it, and we had a little bet riding on your answer." He starts smiling at her consternation. "That's why I came up with another deal. Her father will still pay you the thousand gold and instead of coin for the rest. You get to be the sole purveyor of my goods for the next five years. At whatever percentages you deem fair. I'll even make the wipes if you want." I say with a chuckle. "I even had an idea about those, see I can make a paper that's almost as soft. And well, growing a tree is faster than a field of cotton. So, maybe cotton for the rich, and paper for the masses? All under your name though, if you don't mind. Just think, 'Uncle Charlie's Butt Wipes' it could be a household name."

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The three of us start chortling at the mixture of emotions that cross the merchant's face.

"Hahaha." Charlie gives in and starts laughing too. "Alright lad, that could work. I still think it's too generous though."

"Well, you and Amelia can hash it out, this is your caravan after all, you deserve something from the discovery." I tell him, seriously. "We'll travel with you to the next waypoint tomorrow. Just in case." I send a pointed look south. "Then return here the next day to keep an eye on things."

"Are you sure? Just the two of you?" Charlie's laughter turns to concern.

"You still need John and the guards." I reply. "Amelia and I don't really need a lot of sleep and can watch each other's backs, Plus, I'll be laying tripwires and alarms over every square meter of this place, both physical and magical. That, and it's not like I can't provide everything we need to live comfortably." I gesture to the vardo and the walls I put up in just a few hours time.

"We're not going to lie." Amelia speaks up again. "This is not at all what we wanted, at all. And, as soon as we get replacements and confirmation of the bounty. We are gone! But, until then." She huffs out. "We're babysitting a dungeon. It's too important and too dangerous to leave unguarded." Having said her fill, she returns to her dinner with a decidedly grumpy look.

Not wanting to risk her ire, The two men leave us shortly after.

After dinner we retire to the wagon where Amelia spends a tear filled evening, writing and re-writing a letter to her parents. She eventually finishes, and crawls into bed, spent. I just hold her as she sleeps. I stay awake though, keeping my ears and magical senses wide open.

The next day Charlie has us all on the road as soon as the sky begins to lighten. A bit before really, but that's what Magic is for. He has to make up for lost time, after all. That, and I don't think anyone wanted to stay near an untamed dungeon any longer than they have to. Almost half the camp looks like they got as much sleep as I did. So, I brew up a strong batch of tea with a bit of a stimulant, that Rose showed me, mixed in.

Once we're on the way I try to sit up front with Amelia but, after one too many yawns, she sends me back to bed. Waking around noon, I make lunch for the two of us. After we eat Amelia joins Charlie on his wagon to work out the deal.

The rest of the day goes without incident. Though, we do end up needing my Light spells again before we reach the next waypoint. People can't really camp anywhere they want in the plains, the waypoints that the kingdom set up have the only sources of fresh water around. Each a day’s travel from the last, ringed by low wall, and kept clear of grasses by everyone that uses them. But, the sanitation could be better. A fact everyone in the caravan seems to realize at the same time when I make the last living latrine they'll see for a while.

I get more than a few people asking me if we really need stay behind to watch after some silly hole in the ground. They all try to give us a proper send off, but everyone's still tired from the early start after a poor night’s sleep. So it's not much of a party. The next morning, Amelia and I leave shortly after everyone else wakes up.

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***

"There's the marker you left." Amelia points out a small tree I grew at the edge of the dungeon's influence.

We've been able to see the walls I made for a while now, but decided earlier that we would stop once the tree came into view. Thankfully there's still a couple hours of daylight left. Between packing everything we could into our inventories, and my channeling an Air spell to lighten our load. We were able to make much better time than the caravan did yesterday.

"I see it." I say. Pulling up on the reigns, and the brake lever at the same time. "I'll handle the grass, you watch my back. Your attack spells are definitely stronger than mine."

"Yeah, maybe you'll remember that the next time you pinch my bottom." She says before pinching mine, and jumping off the wagon.

Laughing, and rubbing my ass, I follow her. We clear the road back to the fort without incident.

"Careful." I say, pointing out paw prints leading from a hole in the thorn bushes to the walls.

"I see it." She echoes my earlier statement. "Close it up tight, and the we can clear the campsite."

We aren't taking any risks. Even a baby dungeon with nothing more than oversized mice can still kill us if we aren't careful. We've had plenty of time to plan, and this possibility, that the dungeon had sent out one or more creature while we were away, was at the top of our list.

"Done." The hole closes, and I double the length of the thorns for good measure. "Watch my back while I check for tunnels. Tremorsense!" I kneel down and send a pulse of magic into the ground. "Clear, no holes but the big one."

"Good, guess even dungeons don't like to dig in this rocky soil." Amelia tries to joke, but the tension she's carrying makes it fall flat.

"I don't know much about tracking." I start. Somewhat puzzled by what I'm seeing. "But, it looks like it just came up, chewed on the wall, then retreated back to the hole."

"You've got that look you get, like when you're working on a tricky spell." Amelia says. Pushing a finger into my furrowed brow.

"I've got an idea, but don't know enough to confirm it." I grab her finger and give it a kiss. "This is my not knowing something face." My frown transition into a smile.

"Well, you can figure it out later. Time to start a fire."

"Heh, how is it that a Water mage can be such a firebug?" I laugh.

"I'm not a firebug." She stamps her foot. Annoyed because I've been calling her that since she came up with the idea. "It's just that your plans would have taken too long. Not get a move on, we're burning daylight as we speak."

"Oh, oh babe, no. That pun was so bad it actually hurt."

"Just, just shut up and get to work." Her cheeks flush in embarrassment at her accidental wordplay.

"Yes, Ma'am." I salute her before turning serious again. "It is our best plan, and you're right we are wasting time. Let's move." Jogging back to the marking tree. We head south, off road and start cutting a big half-circle around the dungeon's sphere of influence, lighting fires inside it as we go.

Amelia does most of the cutting while I use air and fire magic to keep the burn isolated. The wind is blowing gently from the east, so the fire is almost at the far side of the circle by the time we get there.

"That's this side done." I say as we reach the road again. "Let's head back to the start, so we aren't fighting the wind." Amelia gives the downwind grasses a good soaking and we trek back towards the east.

"Look at that." Amelia points at the bushes surround the dungeon opening. "See that tuft of fur? Looks like it had something waiting out here that it called back in a hurry."

"Hah!" I bark out a laugh. "No dungeon dare face the might of my little firebug."

"Shut up and keep running, plant boy." She says and I just laugh harder at her unknowing reference to my species.

'You have no idea how true that is.' I think to myself. 'I need to tell her, and soon. I think I need to tell her everything. I just hope she will understand.' Worry ruining my brief humor, I put on a serious face again.

Swiftly repeating our pyro-maniacal procedure on the north side. The whole of the dungeon's sphere of influence, a circle nearly a kilometer across, is reduced to ash. The only thing left standing is our fort, and the thorn bushes around the dungeon opening.

Watching the sunset from our wagon while waiting for the last of the smoke to clear. I turn to Amelia and say. "Well, that's step one complete."

"Mmhm." She agrees. "We should head in now. You sure can handle the detection spells until I work out the kinks in that sensory fog."

"Not a problem. I'll use Air spells tonight, and plant some low grasses tomorrow to weave their roots into a net." I hug her. "I know that this isn't what either of us wanted. But, at least we're together."

"Yeah, yeah, you sentimental goof." She squeezes me back. "Now come on. Get your lights set up while I park the wagon. Ugh." She groans. "We're gonna have to put everything back. What happened to us keeping everything in our inventory?"

"Heheh." I chortle. "Well, if I recall correctly. Someone said it was inconvenient, and that the walls looked too bare."

"Hmm, nope. I don't remember anything like that." She shakes her head. Sending her blonde locks bouncing back and forth. "You're clearly spending too much time with your plants, they're affecting your mind."

***

"Well, that was a pain." I say, stretching out my back.

"So much stuff." Amelia flops down onto the bed. "I can't believe I'm about to say this... But, you need to quit making me new clothes. Even all bagged together they take up three whole inventory slots."

"Oh fine." I pout. "I'll just spend my weaving time working on all those wipes Charlie wants."

Long days on the road get monotonous pretty damned quick and even playing with magic gets old after a while. But weaving just.. does it for me. So basically, anytime I'm not doing anything else. I'm weaving sheets of fabric into clothes, and gifting them to Amelia.

"I can't believe he decided to keep the name I joked about though." I add with a laugh. "You mind cooking dinner while I get started on the alarms?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Want anything in particular tonight?" She asks. Pulling down my old cook pot from were she just hung it up a few minutes ago.

"Surprise me." I blow her a kiss then climb out the window to sit on the driver's seat.

The grasses I'll plant tomorrow will let me cover the whole circle in a detection net, but that's only because I'll be infuse the spell into them as they grow, something I had tested on a potted plant last night. For tonight, though. I chose Air spells because, like the air, they're diffuse and can cover a greater distance. I can easily cover the dungeon entrance, and beyond from here.

Settling in, I let my mind and my mana drift on the wind. This spell is similar to Windwall, but instead of blocking objects it alerts me if anything passes through. Getting curious, I try out a spell I haven't had much use for. Clairaudience. It actually came out of my work on the on the one-way sound barrier. I realized that if I could control sound like that, there was no reason I couldn't pull it to me from farther away.

So, with a muttered cast. I sent my mana deeper into the dungeon trying to see if I could count how many monsters there were by the noises they make. It came a great surprise when I heard something I was never expecting to.

"...What do you mean it's casting magic again?" A very high-pitched voice squeaked out in concern. "and which it, the boy or the girl?" ... A pause, then a deep breath, like the voice was trying not to lose it's temper. "The big one or the little one?" ... Another pause.

"Amelia! listen to this." I expand the spell to cover her.

"..So, the big one put a detection spell on the entrance. Bloody paranoid lunker." ... "He's a lunker 'cause he lunks, just like all the other lunkers out there. And he's paranoid 'cause he hasn't taken a single chance around you. Seriously, the first thing he did after wiping out every monster we had, was to build a great bloody wall and cut down all the grass around it so nothing could sneak up on it." ... "Yes, I know the little one did most of the..."

"What's going on?" Amelia hisses.

"I don't know. this is from inside the dungeon, I think she's talking to it." I reply before falling silent again.

"...ays later when we think it safe. The gods damned lunker shows back up with his girlfriend, and the first thing they do is burn down the rest of the grass. That's why he's bloody paranoid" ... "Ugh." She groans out. "He's bloody because he has blood inside him. Any other brilliant questions?" ... "No, I don't know why he's sending his bloody mana into this room. Wait, what? Cut the connection now!"

I feel some feedback as my spell is forcefully severed.

"..." Amelia is speechless.

"I think dinner is going to have to wait." I say.

She just nods and sets down the spoon she was holding and starts following me as I head for the dungeon entrance. Once there we can hear the chittering of mice coming from the hole in the ground.

"Hmm?" I ponder, pulling out my staff. "You know? We could just destroy this place. The Kingdom isn't going to want some dungeon that's being controlled by some third party." I start playacting.

"You're right." Amelia catches on right away, and agrees with me. "Charlie will understand, and it's not like the core itself is worthless. We could probably sell it to some rich Awakened for thousands of gold"

"Why sell it? I've got a staff already." I give it a twirl. "I'm sure something as magical as a dungeon core would make the perfect material to build one for you. Here, let me take care of these vermin for you. Then we can grab the core and get out of here. Should only take us a couple days to catch up to the other wagons."

"Please-" Amelia starts to say before she gets cut off.

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