《The Galactic Salt Road: Albert’s Kitchen》Early Mornings and Angry Cooks

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The thumping and scraping sounds around me eventually woke me up. I blearily lifted my head, trying to find what was creating the racket. It would have gone better if I could actually see anything. My eyes were gummy and everything was out of focus in my morning-impaired brain.

“Wazzapenin’?” was my very eloquent greeting to the general environs of my bed. I could see two black outlines moving about. They stopped when I mumbled the question with my cracked voice.

“Oh, sorry, mate. We’re almost done. We just need to get a few things together and we’ll let you get back to sleep. That is, if I can just find my bloody sights. I know I placed it here somewhere.” The one near the door said. He dropped down on the floor and started searching under a bed.

“You sure you left it there? We were all kind of messed up from last night. I could still taste the blood in my mouth. Damn, I might have bitten my tongue. It feels really swollen. It’s hard to use it. Tell me if I’m saying it right; Blue. Blueeee. BLUE! Yep, no tongue action for the moment.” The other black blob was a woman, judging from her voice. She has an interesting timbre on her voice, kinda like she was on the verge of singing, almost.

All of those thoughts didn’t register to me. I was still floating in between wakefulness and sleep so I just laid my head down and let the comfortable bed allow me to drift back to unconsciousness.

People have said that I was not a morning person and I agree. I’ve long accepted the fact that I was an asshole when woken up when I didn’t have anything planned for the morning so it was not a surprise to me that I got mad when the guy looking for his sights suddenly went “Oh bugger!” and slammed on my side, throwing me off my bed. I dropped on the ground in an ungraceful heap, the air knocked out of me. I rolled on my back and let the momentary pain run its course. I could hear some cussing coming from on top of my bed.

“Gah! Bugger me, Who put that shoe there. Mate, I’m really sorry. I-”

“GADDEMMIT!!!”

I didn’t know what came over me but I jump up roaring from beside the bed. I was madder that I’ve ever been before. At the back of mind, I was thinking about how it was probably not a good idea that I took a shared room. Knowing my morning tantrums, it was stupid of me to expect that I wouldn’t be disturbed.

Anyway, that single moment of thought didn’t stop the primitive part of my brain from taking action. I grabbed the closest things within touching distance and threw them with as much force and anger as I could. I just kept throwing at the offending people when a terrified scream finally snapped me out of my rage. I stood there, crouched with knives in my hands. The woman whose scream turned me lucid has ducked behind a bed, knives imbedded very close to her head and legs that were sticking out. The man on my bed was in a similar situation. He rolled off the bed just in time as my throwing knives stitched towards him at regular intervals until he was pinned to the ground by a knife that caught my blanket he was entangled in. His eyes were huge and his arms were splayed in front of him.

“Stop! Fuck me, I’m sorry mate. Please, drop the knife. No need for that.” He was trying to keep calm but his voice trembled badly. I was also trembling but mostly from adrenaline. The anger slowly bled out, giving my foggy brain a chance to come into full lucidity. I dropped the knives I was holding in each hand on top of my side table and rubbed my face. My hands were shaking but I could feel myself starting to calm down. The woman was peeking from behind the bed while the man just slumped on the floor.

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“Sorry. Not a morning person.” I said. The woman got up and slowly moved her way towards the pistol I could see hanging by the bed she was hiding behind. The man pulled out my knife with an effort and extricated himself from the twisted blanket.

“Bloody hell, you could have just said so, mate. Jesus, I thought I was going to cark it. Fuck me, you’re a hell of a thrower.” The man stood up and took a respectable distance from me. The man was a tall and lithe, sinewy muscles running cords visible on his bare forearms. His skin was sun-baked, well browned and cracking in some places. His face also evidenced his time under harsh environments. He has gray steel eyes and a long pointy nose. His long, black, burnished hair was tied into a ponytail. He has a thin mouth the complemented his squinty eyes, giving the image of the man always frowning. He turned to look at the woman who was now holding on an energy pistol.

“’Ow ya goin’? You good?”

“I’m good but I’m now thinking about shooting somebody.” Her face was hardening and I could see anger simmering behind it. I looked at the man, helpless in not being able to articulate why I suddenly turned psychotic. I think he understood because he waved the woman to reholster the gun. She reluctantly did so but she kept eyes on me, standing beside the holstered weapon.

“She’ll be right. No worries. I got tripped by that shoe. I was bent down looking for my sights so I didn’t see it. Are we good, mate? I didn’t know you were mad as cut snake.” The man said. He has a very strong accent and it was hard for me to completely understand what he saying but I got that he was very concerned about my sanity. I was starting to blush with embarrassment and mortification. That has never happened before.

“I don’t know what came over me. I swear, this was the first time that that happened. My god, I almost skewered somebody. Don’t worry, I’ll transfer rooms as soon as I can. I’m really sorry.” I wanted to dig a hole and die in it. What the hell was going on with me? I collected my clothes and started putting them on. I continued babbling, thinking about how horrible the morning would have been if I’ve killed someone.

“It has been a stressful week. I’ve been running around Sheer Alkan, testing the alcohol market. I’ve got a meeting with the brass and I’m still working on the sourcing of the trail mix I’m working on for the men of Woglinde. Those had me zipping around in a rental, driving all over-”

“Wait, you’re that bloke the other troopers were talkin’ about? The one that gave them a coldie?” The man interrupted my incessant stream. The woman also was surprised with the question.

“Uh, if you’re talking about the ale, yeah, that’s me.”

“What’s ale? They were saying something about getting some free beer.” He clarified.

“Ah. Ale is a kind of beer but apparently, that doesn’t matter. Listen, I don’t know if it would make it up for you but how about both of you try some of my ale? They’re pretty good. Take it as my apology. What do you say?” I grasped at the notion of me being known by troopers and tried to capitalize on it. The woman cursed then put her hands on her waist.

“I guess I can’t kill you now. It’s hard to find a good brewer.” She said. The anger was gone from her face as a small smile replaced it.

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She is a very pale woman. Her blonde hair was almost silvery white. One thing you immediately notice is how symmetrical her face is. It’s true that symmetry is very pleasing to the eyes. She has bright blue eyes and a cute button of a nose. Her thick lips were unpainted but were still a good shade of red. Her skin was freckled here and there but it didn’t detract from her beauty. Her petite, shapely stature gave off a vibe of vulnerability. It was easy for people to miss how deftly she handled the pistol earlier if they were too focused on looking at her face. She definitely didn’t fit the mercenary stereotype.

“Kinda early for that, isn’t it?” The man commented as he looked at the chronometer on the wall.

“Oh, get off it. This is not going to be the first time you had a morning brew. C’mon, I wanna have a taste of it. I’m Aoife Byrne by the way. I’m with the Flosshilde.”Aoife came forward to give a handshake.

“Name’s Ethan Jones. Also of the Flosshilde.” Ethan also shook my hand. I was relieved that they quickly dismissed the morning excitement. I also introduced mylself.

“Albert Mayon. Cook in the Woglinde.”

“A cook, are you? And from our sister ship nonetheless. I keep on running in on you buggers. Even those wankers in the Wellgunde are stomping around. What the bloody hell is goin’ on? You know anything?” Both of them were now looking at me with interest, hoping for an answer.

“Sorry. I have no idea on what’s happening. We just got called back home but they didn’t tell us anything. I probably know less than you guys. I’m just a cook. I’m normally stuck behind a counter. I don’t normally rate operational information.” I said.

“Typical. Again, we know nothing. Let’s not think about that anymore. How about that beer?” I could see Aoife almost drooling from the prospect.

“You sure you can afford to get pissed? We still have to hunt today. I don’t know if you can even taste anything with that fat tongue of yours. That tree swinger got a good hook, doesn’t he?” Ethan asked with a chortle. Now that I was looking closely, I could see that Aoife has a split lip. There was some bruising on her lower right jaw. It seems that they got in a fight last night.

“Thank god that he was drunk. He could have probably knocked a couple of teeth off if he wasn’t too busy trying to stay upright. I didn’t know that they could drink that much!” Aoife said in wonder.

“They got some good grog, them Inugorians. If they could get pissed and expect to not fall off a tree then they better have superior alcohol tolerance limits.” Ethan added sagely.

“Will you stop with the tree swinger shit!? You know they hate that.”

“Well, they could get stuffed. It’s not like I’m lying.”

“Sure. Next time, you say that in front of their faces. Let’s see you try taking a punch from a sober one, you racist asshole.”

“Hey, I’ve no problem with the bastards. They’re good fighters and excellent mates. They just need to be taken down a peg or two. Doesn’t mean I’m suicidal.”

“Thought so. Well, let’s have that beer then.” I was listening to their banter and jumped a bit when the attention suddenly shifted to me. I asked for a moment as I collected the knives scattered about the room. I surprised myself on how many where thrown. I had to pull out eight of them, five on my bed. I grimaced as I thought about how I am going to explain the damage to mama-san. I filed that for later and waved for both of them to follow me. We tromped our way to the kitchen. We passed mama-san who was talking with some people in the sitting room. We didn’t bother her as she looked to be in a serious conversation.

The kitchen was buzzing with staff working on breakfast. I asked the head cook if we could enter his domain. Most people think nothing about entering a kitchen but I know better. The head cook admonished us to keep out of the way. We kept far away from the preparation tables and made our way to the freezer units. I moved over to the beverage refrigerator and took out a bio locked plasticrate. I opened it up and took out two chilled bottles of ale. I handed them to the eagerly waiting hands of Ethan and Aoife. They quickly opened them up and clinked their bottles with a ‘cheers!’ and both downed half of the contents of the bottles in one long pull.

“Ah. Nothing like good beer, eh?” Aoife said as she smacked her lips.

“Top drop, mate. A bit weak and too fruity for my taste but good on ya.” Ethan said. He winked at me then emptied his bottle. Aiofe did the same. We talked about the ale for a while. I took notes of their critique and added it to the collated observations of my other tasters.

“Listen, mate. We have to get a move on. The morning’s burnin’ and we have to get out of here. You ready, Aoife?”

“Yep.”

“Oh okay. Sorry again for the knives…and all.” I lamely added.

“No worries. Almost made me slash my pants, tell you that.”

“What were you looking for anyway?” I asked. It was curious as to what was damn important that he was making such a racket so early in the morning.

“Oh, my crossbow sights. I cleaned it yesterday but I somehow misplaced it. Bloody hard hitting anything at a distance without it especially being out in the whoop whoop.”

“You’re going hiking?”

“Hunting, mate. Hunting. You don’t need sights to hike up a mountain.” Ethan said with a laugh. That made sense.

“Oh, right. What are you hunting anyway? I didn’t know you could do that here.” In Ceres, Flower made some side cash guiding hunting groups. They always had to be careful in controlling the sabre population. Left unchecked, they would decimate the transplanted fauna. There were a number of sabres that are allowed to be hunted every year but that is strictly regulated.

“Antuana. They’re kinda like wild boars except a lot bigger and more aggressive. Tyr has an open bounty on the things. They’re not endemic here. They speculated that some merchanter brought down some in the past and let some lose. They’re considered as a pest since they ravage farmlands and chew on crops. There seems to always be a lot of them. Hunters like to bag a few every mating season. They’re good eating.” Aoife explained. She finished her ale and gave the bottle back. I digitally tagged it with my ArmComm and returned the bottle in the crate. I tag the bottles with the corresponding drinker so that I could have a clear record of who drank it and what they like or didn’t like about it. Their opinions would be included in my spreadsheet.

“Good to know. Well, good luck on your hunt.”

“You ever hunted before?” Ethan suddenly asked.

“Yes. Um, to be specific, I’ve joined a hunting party before. Never actually shot anything before. My aim is… something left to be desired.”

“You busy right now? Got anything to do?” Ethan pressed. I think I know where this was going but I let it play out.

“Not really. I was just planning on checking out some sights by the sea. They say there are some good fishing spots there.” Ethan looked at Aoife and she nodded.

“How about you join us? A little Red Tiger bonding experience. It would be fun.”

“I’m a bad shot though. I’m also not used in moving through the forest. I might scare the game away.”

“No worries, mate. You could be our offsider. We have an extended hunting license that covers other members of our party. You could bag yourself some good tucker. What do you say?” Ethan said. Aoife agreed and added her voice in the mix.

I thought about and considered that if I could bring done some game, I could have it delivered to the Woglinde. It would spice our menu up. The more I thought about it, the more appealing it got. I decided it was a good idea but I wanted to bring somebody with me.

“Would it be okay to invite another person? She’s the head cook of the Woglinde. She just got off the ship yesterday.”

“Franny’s here? Hell, that’ll be fun. Sure, call her up. We’ll get our equipment. Meet us by the front door.” Ethan thumped me on the shoulder and swigged his bottle, emptying it. He tossed it to me and I almost dropped the thing. Taking a second to tag the bottle, I then called Franny on my ArmComm. It was early but she picked up. She had her communicator or audio only.

“What? Do you know how early it is?” Her cracking voice oddly clear even in her interrupted sleep.

"Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to ask you if you want to come with me on a hunt. Some of the guys from Flosshilde invited me to join them on an Antuana hunt. Figured that we could use the meat for our meat culture vats. Beef and chicken are getting a bit old." I explained. I could hear some rusltling and a thump or two. Franny yawned before answering.

"Antuana hunt? You're right. I'm getting tired of beef stroganoff myself. Sure, I'll come. Give me a couple of minutes then swing by to pick me up." She dropped the call without waiting for me to talk back. I just shrugged and went back to my shared room to get some stuff.

I've been on hunts before, mostly as an assistant to Flower whenever he's out taking some rich guys for sabre culling. At first, I felt kinda queasy about it and not a bit disturbed since baby was with us all the time. I had the unreasonable thought that baby might not take well to us murdering her bretheren. Of course, she's an animal but an intelligent animal nontheless. It took me a while to get used to the idea and started to actually enjoy it. Flower did explain how important it is to the ecosystem that the population balance among the predators and prey be maintained. It threw me off the first time Flower invited me on a hunt. The idea of a zoo keeper hunting down animals was totally not something I imagined.

I changed into something a little bit more practical for the hunt. I had the opportunity to expand my wardrobe so I was not worried about proper clothing. I decided to wear the Vellager shirt under my vest since it was light enough and it breathes. My vest was a simple leather one with breast and side pockets but it does come with a color control. I dialed the color to something that would not look out of place in the Tyrian countryside then pulled on a pair of sturdy pants.

I wasn't really planning on shooting anything during the hunt so I just strapped on my bandolier and a small sling bag. If this hunt is like the others I had before, there's going to be some outdoor cooking to be done later. I had a small spice box that I always keep for this kind of situation. I grabbed a hat that I got for free during one of the group tours I joined when I was gawking at the different sights around Tyr then made a mental check that I have everything. Satisfied, I left the room and briskly made my way to the front door. Mama-san was still talking with people so I just waved at her as I pass her by. She smiled at me but her attention was to the people she was having such a serious talk with.

"Ready?" Ethan asked. He has his crossbow case on hand. Aoife also has one and was also carrying a large bag with her.

"Yeah. Franny said to pick her up at her hotel." I replied. We made our way to the parking lot and walked along the parked cars. We stopped in front of a green grav truck. Ethan had us load our stuff in the back then hurried us inside. He didn't want to waste daylight as much as possible. I gave him the address to Franny's hotel as we pulled out of the parking lot. The hotel was not that far from the Tiger's Den so we got there in less than five minutes. I sent Franny a message that we were on the way when we left to pick her up and she was already waiting when we arrived. She looks disturbingly perky after complaining how early it is. She was waving at us with her hat as we pulled up beside her. She got in beside me at the back after judiciously shoving me farther to the other side.

"Move, I don't like being crowded." she instructed.

"But I'm already squashed here. There's a lot of space, Franny." I complained, pointing at the obvious seating space between us.

"Well, it's not enough. Don't crowd me or I'll punch you in the dick. Hey, I know you. You're Ethan, right? You're that guy that fell off the stage after getting drunk and tried singing and dancing during sing-a-long night, right?" Ethan frowned at the memory while Aoife slapped her knee and howled in laughter.

"Bugger. I was hoping people have forgotten about that. Yeah, I'm Ethan. This here is Aoife. We're both from Flosshilde. You're that bluey that Garron tried hitting on, right? Let's just say that man is... not the full quid." Again, the man's dialect was making it difficult for me to understand what the hell he was saying. What is a quid? and did he just call Franny a 'bluey'?

"Sometimes, people just need to learn the hard way." Franny sagely answered. We were pulling out of the hotel's driveway and were going south. Both Ethan and Aoife chuckled at Franny's advice.

"Yeah, a broken nose will get your attention." Aoife commented. The road trip lasted almost an hour. I spent the time getting to know the other Red Tiger mercs and found them an agreeable lot. Aoife, particularly, is quite the chatterbox. She has no compunctions in sharing gossip. Man, the amount of sex they have in Flosshilde sounds exhausting.

We were way out of any inhabited areas when we came upon a ranger outpost. It's a squat building that looks very utilitarian. It was made of local wood though so it still looks nice. Ethan parked the truck and we spilled out onto the grassy ground. We collected our belonging and made our way to enter the building.

The reciveing area of the ranger station was a pretty spartan affair. There was an information holo terminal on the left side of the largish room and a printed map of the area on the wall on top of it. Some comfortable looking sofas were scattered around the room and some living room chairs were placed around a coffee table. A receptionist counter at the end of the room was the object of our attention. An older Barral was standing behind it, fiddling with something out of view.

"Greetings. Welcome to station 15. How can I help you?" The ranger rumbled.

"We're going out for an Antuana hunt. What's the current rate?" Aoife answered for the group. The ranger and Aoife got into the details for the hunt while Ethan waved us towards the nearest table. He placed his crossbow case on the table and opened it up.

"Let's get geared up. No use waiting for later when we need it." Ethan advised. He took out his crossbow and it was massive. The arms on the thing were thick. I don't know much about crossbows but I could definitely say that this particular one would do some damage.

"Woah. That thing's huge! Wait, how big is this Antuana?" It never occurred to me to ask earlier.

"No worries, mate. We got it covered."

"But how big is it?"

"Big enough."

"But how big!? Ethan? Franny?" The man just chuckled and walked out the station shouldering his crossbow. Franny gave me a pitying look then patted me on the cheeks. She was also packing a crossbow. She followed Ethan out. I got irritated and made my way to the information terminal. I made a local search on Antuana and the image of the animal was projected in front of me.

"Well, shit."

The Antuana is essentially an oversized armored wild boar. It stands about a meter and a quarter but it is almost three meters in length. The average weight of observed Antuanas is about 180-220 kilograms. Only a small percentage of that is fat. The animal is also fast. It runs on six stumpy and powerful legs and when charging, it could reach speeds up to sixty kilometers per hour. The boar is armed with long, curving tusks that, combined with its weight, could gore you and throw you over its head. Its leathery skin is way harder than it looks. The hunting guide suggested to use armor piercing rounds, or in our case quarrel tips, to penetrate it. The guide also warns the prospective hunter that though the boar is almost blind, it's nose is very sensitive. It could also hear from quite a distance. Caution is advised.

Of course caution is well and truly advised.

I left the terminal and joined Ethan and Franny outside. The two hunter were excitedly talking about how we were going to work together during the hunt. I paid close attention to what they were saying and came to the conclusion that I was way over my head.

"Uh, guys? I'm not exactly a good shot so, how about I take a seat back and let you guys do your thing?" I suggested when there was a break in their conversation.

"What, and miss out on all the fun? Nah, no worries. Tell you what, we'll bag a couple and you watch us on how we do it. Franny told me about your aim. C'mere, I've something for you." Ethan walked back to the truck and opened the utility trunk. He pressed a recessed button on the side and a panel popped out. He opened the hidden compartment and took out a rod, about half a meter long. He waved me back as he closed the trunk. He faced me and held out the rod horizontally. He pressed a button and the rod extended to full length. A spear head also slid out of one end.

"Here. Franny talked about how good your throwing arm is. Show me." I took the proffered spear and held it in my hand. I jiggled it a bit, checking for balance. I looked around the area and decided to try it on a nearby tree. The extremely large tree that was shading our truck from the bright sun was perfect. I eyed the distance and took a throwing position at about a hundred meters away from it. I hefted the spear for a throw but was interrupted by Ethan.

"Hang on, mate. That's a bit far, ain't it?" He asked while looking at the distance I was about to throw dubiously. I lifted my right arm and showed him my force multiplier. He wasn't familiar with it so I just told him to watch. I again took my stance and taking a moment to check that the multiplier was activated, I threw the spear with a grunt. The projectile zoomed towards the tree like it was shot from a bow and embedded itself deeply on the trunk with a loud thwack.

"Fair suck of the sav! I didn't expect that!" Ethan exclaimed. We walked together to check my throw and it went in deep. I pouted at the result.

"What? That was bloody good, mate."

"Ah, it was alright. Could have been better."

"What do you mean?"

"I was aiming at the knot." I pointed at the middle of the knot. The spear was about a dozen centimeters from the center. It was not a bad throw, considering. Maybe I was expecting too much. After all, it was my first time throwing a spear.

"Believe me, that's good enough. How about you practice on it while we wait on Aoife?" I nodded and pulled out the spear. It has a molecular spear point so it took some doing to pull it out. I was able to throw a couple more times until I felt that I was getting better at it. I could hit a stationary target at a hundred meters dead center. I felt comfortable with the spear and more confident on my future participation in the hunt.

"You're really good at that. Good move in getting those knives. It still doesn't mean you won't be working on your shooting scores, okay?" Franny reminded me as I sat on a bench in front of the building.

"I'm working hard at that. I think I'm getting a bit better but those are stationary targets. I don't know how will that translate to combat." I admitted.

"You got your knives now. Your pistol is going to be your backup. It sounds insane, now that I'm thinking about it. Still, what matters is that you are now a bonafide threat during boarding engagements."

"Wait, you got boarded? I've got to hear this. Franny, spill." Ethan excitedly requested. Franny gave an abridged version of our engagement in Ceres space. Ethan was surprised at the boldness shown by the slavers.

"What the bloody hell is going on!? Slavers taking on Red Tiger merc ships is just stupid. The Woglinde isn't exactly a tramp freighter." Ethan was mystified by the whole thing. We talked a little bit more about it until Aoife finally made her appearance. The ranger followed her out and they went to around to the back of the building. They came back after a couple of minutes but this time, they were leading a bunch of saddled Saguk. The birds were walking placidly behind the ranger who was holding the reins. Aoife has a large smile on her face then gestured at the green feathered birds.

"Our noble steeds." She grandly announced.

Looks like I'm going to be learning a lot of things today.

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