As they left town, the forest loomed less than two miles to the south. Arn asked, “hey, its been kind of bugging me, anyone know why they built the town on this side of The Eye, rather than, you know, putting the The Eye between the town and the beast-infested forest?” Silence greeted Arn’s inquiry; the group seemed focused and grim. Ok then, this is going to be fun. Or not. Well, with my debt to Silver Tongue its not like I have other options. Although...maybe I could start a dog food business using my Tasty regenerating flesh? I hear the kidney is quite nutritious. Or I could let a necromancer strap me down and harvest my bones to make an army of skeletons. Or…

Arn bumped into Val, who had stopped dead. In front of them was a path into the forest, with a signpost on the left marked with a blue diamond. Their ultra-pricey map labeled each trail with a simple symbol that corresponded with the matching signposts – there were yellow moons, blue diamonds, pink hearts, orange stars and green clovers. Arn wondered whether there was any significance to the symbols – were they magically significant?

Val announced the obvious. “We’re here. Arn, stop day dreaming, you’re on point. Everyone remember the formation we talked about. Its go time.” Arn unlimbered his shield, drew his sword and marched down the trail.

Arn was far from an expert on forests, but to his eyes it looked like any other. Oak, Pine and other familiar trees lined the path to each side. The path itself looked like an ordinary game trail, perhaps a bit wider. As Arn scrutinized the path, his Mana Sight kicked in, and his vision was flooded with glowing motes of mana. He stutter-stepped and dismissed Mana Sight after a short struggle. Val asked, “what’s wrong Arn?” Arn answered “nothing, my Mana Sight just kicked in without my summoning it. It is already overwhelming. I don’t know much about real spell casting, but be careful if you need to be Sar.”

The group traveled in tense silence, although Arn was more alert than tense – while he certainly expected the worst, he didn’t particularly fear it. Arn kept an eye on the plants on the side of the path, but they were mostly just ferns, with a few ordinary flowers and mushrooms. As expected. Nothing of value likely to be left so close to Reach on one of the main trails. Arn noticed a large tree with oily black bark on the left that he was unfamiliar with, and glanced up to try and place it by its leaves. On a branch perhaps 50 feet up, he noticed a one and a half foot long grey cylindrical hive of some kind with white protrusions jutting from the hive in various locations. Is that Last Kiss? Can our luck be that good?

Keana noticed first, asking “what are you staring at Arn?” Arn pointed at the hive and said simply, “gold. Pretty sure, but its covered in my jungle herbalism book. Do me a favor and grab it from my pack would you?” Val snapped, “damn it Arn, if you are pointing at the hive, that’s fifty feet up. Who in the Hells do you imagine is climbing up there and somehow dealing with a swarm?”

Arn turned to Val, surprised that he was acting snappish. “I don’t know what crawled up your ass Val, but if the white protrusions on the hive are Last Kiss, then the hive is dead, and the fungus is probably worth more than a gold piece. They make a special poison from it that can kill off certain diseases without killing the sick person. Well sometimes. I’m far from the best choice with my size, but I probably won’t die if I fall, so I’m not about to leave a gold piece just sitting up there if y’all aren’t willing.”

After making Arn squat down a bit, and some awkward searching, Keana found “Asir’s Guide To Jungle Gold, The Definitive Guide To Jungle Herbs” in Arn’s pack and handed it to him. Arn thanked her and started flipping through the book, finding the page after a couple of minutes. Yep, that’s Last Kiss. Arn passed the book around, but only Val and Sar spent any time with it. Arn briefly wondered if Keana and Pepper could read, but dismissed the issue as irrelevant.

Val shook his head. “It doesn’t say anything about the hive being dead, and I’m not sure where you’re getting a gold piece from. I don’t think any of us have climbing gear. You’re a fool if you go up there.” Arn snorted. “It is implied that it kills the hive. And I don’t see any bugs. If no one else is going to do it, I will. If I fall, if I die, no biggy. Great way to start the day, let me tell you.”

Val asked, “if you fall, how long will it take you to get back in shape to go on?” Arn pondered the question. “The first bit is blazing fast, but it gets slower as it goes. Just under five minutes to get back to 60% health, unless some of the bones are really snapped out of place. I dunno exactly how that would impact it, skill just says things like lost limbs takes longer. If I ever get really shredded or broken might need some help pushing any bits back where they go to avoid waiting around.” Sar whistled, impressed, while Keana looked nauseous. Pepper volunteered, “well I’ve set horse bones, and I’m the party healer so I can reckon I can do that, provided I get my share.”

Val still looked skeptical. “What if you’re wrong and the insects swarm you while you’re on the ground? I have no idea what kind of hive that is, do you?” Arn shrugged off his gear and got out a sack to store the hive in; after a moment’s thought, he decided to leave his were armor on. Arn turned to Val and put his hand on Val’s shoulder. “Its sweet your worried grandma, but stupid is my thing. Stupid but profitable, that’s just gravy.” Arn paused, and decided to be serious since Val seemed truly stressed. “Look Val, this isn’t about picking mushrooms by the side of the trail. Just being here is dangerous. I’m pretty sure there is a gold piece worth of fungus up there, and I don’t have to fight anything capable of knocking my head off to get it. Insects probably can’t kill me, at least not the ones so far from the Heart of the Jungle. So trying to climb up there actually is common sense, right?”

Although he was trying to reassure Val, Arn’s perspective was a little off after everything that had happened in the last month, and he couldn’t stop himself from continuing. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, something will go wrong. There is always a hidden little girl with a sap, right? Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be incredibly painful, but what the heck, we are in for a lot of that I think. Especially me. Might as well start now. Fun, fun, fun.” Val looked at Arn in bafflement, shook his head and walked off. Arn considered trying to kiss Keana for luck, but decided climbing 50 feet into the air to face a possibly full hive was quite possibly safer, and headed for the tree.

The tree was probably three feet around, and the branches didn’t start until shortly below the hive, so there were no easy handholds. Arn had seen villagers climb similar trees using several different types of gear: some used clawed gloves and spiked shoes, while others used a sash around the tree for leverage, heaving the sash up in increments as they went. How could Silver Tongue not have recommended climbing gear? Seems like a big omission. Sighing at the lack of proper gear, Arn figured he was better off climbing the simple way, with his hands and feet. If the bark will hold, with my new strength I shouldn’t have a problem. If the bark will hold. Stowing the sack around his prized slarn-skin belt, Arn threw himself onto the tree. After a two painfully awkward failures, he got the hang of it, and started to climb.

Arn encountered his first real difficulty almost immediately; the bark didn’t just look oily, it was in fact coated in some substance that was soon all over Arn’s hands. Fortunately, the bark was heavily ridged, and Arn managed to dig his fingers into the crevasses without more than occasional minor slippage of one hand or the other. His new boots were not meant for climbing, but did the job well enough.

* * *

Sar was highly doubtful that someone as big as Arn could climb a tree trunk without proper equipment, but panicked once it was clear that he could in fact do so. “If he drops the nest we are going to be in a world of hurt. Time to retreat!” Remembering the Mayor’s hideous litany of insect horrors, the group ended up almost seventy-five feet away. “Do you think this is far enough?” Keana asked. Val nodded, “your boy friend should attract their attention as long as we aren’t around.

Keana snorted. “The proper terminology is current boy toy. Although, it is nice having a big bear all my own. Mom was supposed to take me to the carnival the weekend after she died, but hey, I went and won a giant-ass bear myself. They don’t grow on trees you know.”

Pepper looked at Keana with more than her usual scowl. “I’ve seen horse crap smells better than your shtick. Not fooled.” Keana rolled her eyes, turned back to the show and asked, “say, do you have any jerky?”

* * *

As Arn slowly got closer to the hive, he was realized that there did not seem to be any activity, but was starting to worry about a new problem. The hive was further away from the main trunk than it had looked at ground level, maybe four feet away, dangling from a large branch. How the heck was he going to cut it down and get into the sack and still hold onto the tree? His dexterity was high enough now, but high enough for what exactly? If he went hand-over-hand on the branch, he could maybe hold on with one hand and . . . well, how would he get the hive in the sack? How would he transition back to the trunk? Nothing for it – I’ll have to stretch and rip the hive off one-handed, let it drop and hope it doesn’t destroy too much of the fungus. Plan settled, Arn shouted down to let the group know to back up, just in case there were any insects in the hive after all. There was no answer, so he repeated himself more loudly and got to work.

* * *

“Why in the Hells is he bloody shouting???” Val asked in a huff. Keana rolled her eyes. “Probably just excited about bagging the hive. Not like we can do anything to help if he is trouble. So sit back and enjoy the show. Arn will find a way to spice things up a bit I’m sure.” Keana popped a piece of jerky and relaxed against a tree to wait for the fun to start.

Arn shouted again; this time the group was listening and got the gist of it. Sar nodded, vindicated. “Told you we needed to back up. Hells, maybe we should back up a little. . .” A distant snarling roar interrupted Sar, who resumed “hopefully that is just…OH SHIT! BE QUIET!” Sar whispered while pointing at an enormous midnight-black bear looking around in puzzlement from, thankfully, the far side of Arn’s tree, perhaps 90 feet from the group. Keana noted “we have to help, that thing could take off his head!” Val shook his head. “That’s a 12-foot Dire Bear. It would rip through us like butter. Best bet is Arn stays up there till it goes away. If we do have to fight…”

* * *

Up close, Arn was sure the hive was dead; the fungus was more extensive than it had appeared from the ground and should fetch a nice sum if even half of it could be recovered. They better not bitch and moan about ruined fungus! Arn gripped the trunk as tightly as he could with his legs and transferred his left hand to the branch with the hive. The brank was too thick for a tight grip, but Arn stuck his left hand over the branch to support his weight. Shifting his weight, Arn stretched and reached for the hive. He was able to touch the top of the hive, and, after a bit of difficulty, got his thumb and index finger properly positioned and pulled – the hive fell! “I got it!” Arn shouted with joy.

An answering roar shook the forest. Arn turned his head and saw an impossibly huge bear standing on its hind feet looking in his direction. Shit! Arn tried to stay calm and think as he carefully shifted his hands back to the trunk. I bought a firestone canister, twist back and forth, drop it and I think its 3 seconds right? If I can hit the bear just right. . . At the tree now, the bear reared up on its hind legs, clawed the trunk and roared, shaking Arn’s bones and setting his head rattling. Ugh, this thing is POWERFULL. Has to be a wanderer from deeper in the jungle, my firestone won’t scare it, and the web canister Val bought may as well be a toy…I’ve got to wait this out. OK, I can do that.

As Arn reassured himself, the massive bear, somehow, impossibly, began to climb. Arn had seen bears. Bears were fat. Bears were furry. Deadly if provoked, or if stumbled on unseen. This thing had bulging muscles that rippled beneath its fur like massive slarn, a head that seemed the size of a village dog and slavering fangs like daggers. A full-on bite would rip him in half. The dire bear terrified Arn on a fundamental level that the wargs and slarn never touched. Every instinct screamed at Arn to run, and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest, but he fought for calm. I have two chances: the firestone, and the party. Arn reached for the firestone canister in an inside pocket of the were-hide armor, and felt its reassurance, but did not draw it – it would take two hands to activate. Arn screamed at his friends, “I’M GOING TO DROP FIRESTONE ON IT, HIT IT WITH EVERYTH…” The dire bear roared from twelve feet below Arn, hitting Arn with an almost physical force that battered him into unconsciousness.

Limp, Arn fell straight down like a rag doll. Though nothing had dared to try in decades, the dire bear was not wholly unfamiliar with the concept of predators jumping down from above. It was, however, both wholly unprepared for the event to occur while climbing, and its attempt to swipe at Arn was unwise. Arn’s feet rammed into the dire bear’s head, adding the force of his fall-accelerated 230 pounds to the 1400 pounds of dire bear attached to the tree by three claws. The impact summersaulted Arn off the bear, while it flailed at the tree wildly, carving deep gouges, as it to began its own tumble.

* * *

Arn’s team stared at the climbing bear in mute horror for a long second before Keana screamed, “go, go, go!” and took off running, with Val, and more slowly, Sar following behind. Pepper snorted, and put a calming hand on Princess, who couldn’t do anything except die against that monstrosity. Much like the idiot dancing girl with tiny knives. Pepper drew an explosive arrow and carefully sighted; the bear was huge, but 90 feet away and climbing with frightening speed. For 14 silver, I hope this makes a Hell of a ba… The massive roar, momentarily startled her, and she almost released prematurely, but was able to adjust. Simultaneously, she noticed the three charging morons trip over their own feet, stunned, as Arn started to tumble. As Arn slammed into the dire bear and both began to fall, Pepper took the opportunity to run forward for a better shot.

Pepper had a front stage pass to the potentially deadly circus. She saw the dire bear land, head pointed towards the tree, shake itself alert and turn to find Arn. She saw Arn struggle to rise with one arm, a jagged splint of bone sticking out of the other. She saw Val and Keana rise and start to run from 40 feet away, while Sar took aim from outside his range. One chance to save the nutty bastard she thought as she aimed and fired the explosive arrow, forced to aim for the monster’s mid-section, as its head was already uncomfortably close to Arn. Her aim was true, and the arrow blossomed into a four-foot fireball with a bang. Pepper saw an area of charred and smoking flesh surrounded by burning fur, but if the monster felt anything at all, it didn’t show it, swiping at Arn with a claw bigger than his head. I want my silver back.

* * *

Arn regained consciousness in a rictus of agony. I need more levels in Masochist! Arn levered himself to his feet with his left arm, willing his right to assist. Pain slammed into his arm and Arn turned to look for a stray arrow . . . no, that’s bone where its not supposed to be! Shit. Arn heard the dire bear roar, but fortunately it was facing the other way. Arn redoubled his efforts to get up, as the pant-staining whatever-the-Hell-it-was turned around and began to charge. I’m screwed, my arm is off! No, it isn’t, its just a scratch! I’ve had worse! Arn tried to calm himself, reached into the pocket in his were-hide armor with his left, and brought the fire-stone canister to his mouth, biting down, and using his left hand to twist the canister left then right in its activation sequence.

One shot. Have to wait till its right on me, toss the canister in its mouth. “Come on ya pansy, let’s have at it!” he shouted madly. Arn heard a boom and saw fire from the corner of his eye, as the dire bear lifted its massive paw and opened its jaws. Arn leaped forward and thrust his good arm forward, intending to toss the canister into the gaping maw from can’t-miss range. The dire bear snapped its head forward in a flash, closing on Arn’s arm near the shoulder and tossing its head to the side, throwing Arn like a ragdoll.

Arn hit the ground and rolled, stopping facing the sky. He felt a mild rush from Kicking and Screaming triggering, but its power was muted, like a waterfall heard from a distance. He turned his head to look at the dire bear as it suddenly shook with a muffled thump. The dire bear looked panicked, let out a strangled gurgle which belched smoke out of its mouth, and took off running. Arn smiled. “Had enough now eh? All right, we’ll call it a draw.”

Arn faded in and out of consciousness, but returned to focus with Keana standing over him. “Oh Gods, Arn…your arms…the left...blechhh” Arn shuddered at the indignity of being vomited on, but tried to comfort Keana. “Its…its just a flesh wound.”