The chainmail-clad warrior type turned to Arn. “So. Arn right? I’m Valadian, Val for short. I hear you can serve as Shield?” Coming from a warrior carrying a shield, Arn wondered if Val’s inquiry was a trick question. “My class seems well designed for Second Shield. High survivability with good damage and a nice stun-shout. I regenerate fast when badly injured. Can’t be healed at all otherwise, so no drain on a healer. I could Shield in a pinch with the right party, but no taunt so not ideal.”

The stern-faced archer with the warg pet spoke. “We need a real Shield, not some low-level that got a class three weeks ago.” Arn smiled ruefully. “Awe shucks, lets be friends. I’m strong for a level 6; I can help. If golden boy…er Val, can fill Second Shield we can probably make it work as long as we don’t go deep. Can we, I don’t know, maybe do introductions and skills.”

Stern-face spoke again. “I’m Pepper, and this is Princess. If you stick anything in her vicinity, she’ll rip it off.” Princess! Of course! Arn nodded, “yeah, I’ve noticed wargs are affectionate like that. Stings a bit though. Maybe we can save that for treats.” Pepper scowled, “you think your funny. I think someone that was a fatty three weeks ago is going to be worse than useless. Go through your skills so we can end this.”

“That’s hurtful Pepper, truly. I was just big boned. And jolly. But sure, ok, skills. Well the regeneration I mentioned is one of the inherents. It is slow when I’m lightly injured and crazy fast when I’m bad off. I get one free death a day, come back with temporary buffs. Really clears the sinuses. If you and Princess want to play rough, we can definitely have super fun times, but…” Pepper interrupted, “keep pushing me. Go on, try it.”

Arn smiled. “Time and place Pepper, time and place. Anyway, my skill Kicking and Screaming is what makes me really tough to kill. When below 30% health, my strength doubles and my toughness goes up 50%. I have 28 constitution already, so it is pretty effective. Got a few of my levels swimming naked with slarns, and they couldn’t do much once the skill was active. My belt here is from a special lady, she was really frisky let me tell you . . .” Pepper tried to cut him off, but Arn spoke over her, “and one more skill, Death’s Scream – a shout that stuns, does a bit of damage. I can get three off in a fight, but it does take a lot out of me. It affects allies, so have to be careful with it. Should let me Shield to some degree, but clearly not remotely a substitute for Taunt.”

Val smiled. “Impressive Arn! Well as far as my skills…” Pepper interjected, “lets just vote on Arn. He has nothing to offer except distraction, and he likely won’t even do that. His low level scream will do nothing at the worst possible time, and with all of three weeks of training, sounds like a whole lot of useless to me.”

Arn turned to Pepper and Screamed. Across the field, conversations stopped, food was dropped, dogs started barking and children started crying. Pepper and Princess froze – Pepper with a look of horror, and Princess with the usual amount of drool dripping from her muzzle.

WHAT DID I JUST DO? I must be the world’s biggest idiot! That must be the largest damn warg I’ve ever seen . . . why, just why?! Arn took a deep breath. Calm…calm down, this doesn’t need to be a disaster. Don’t draw your weapon. So what if you get snacked on? Just another day. The others will intervene. Hopefully.

Pepper shook her head and Princess started growling deeply. Suddenly, Pepper laughed, put her hand on Princess and said “unbelievable, just unbelievable. So THAT is a legendary skill. Ok, I’ll admit it, I was wrong, you get my vote.”

Arn couldn’t believe it either. He looked left and right for charging Festival patrons – nothing. Somehow, some way, this one time, being stupid isn’t coming back to bite me in …”

Elder Dannis appeared seemingly out of nowhere and grabbed Arn’s arm. “Arn! What is flipping wrong with you boy! Did that slarn eat your brain as well as your balls? Its bad enough that people are talking about you cuddling a dead slarn naked! I thought I had seen it all when you ate the entire jar of poison thinking it was jam! Come on boy, your embarrassing the village!”

Red as a beat, Arn stammered, “right, embarrassing the village, can’t have that. Thanks for stopping by, always nice to see you, I’ll fill you in later.” Comprehension dawned on Elder Dannis, “oh, this is your team?”

Keana felt an itch to join the fun. “Captain Dannis! What an honor to meet you sir! I’ve heard so many tales about Deadshot Dannis! Don’t you worry about Arn sir! The boy may not have much in the way of brains. Or any really. And his . . . interpersonal skills are . . . brutish. But at least he is large. So there is that.”

As Arn turned even redder, Dannis beamed at the young lady. “That’s kind of you to say, but those days are long passed. It is your turn now! I want to help if I can, tell me about your group!” Keana smiled, “of course! I’m a Blade Dancer. Right now my primary dance is Eliana’s Ode, speeds my movements and boosts agility. Its great, but it’s almost four minutes long, and the boost is really small for the first couple of minutes, so I’m thinking something short next.”

Dannis beamed. “Ah, a Blade Dancer! That brings back the memories! Makes me wish I was young again!” Suddenly Dannis looked sheepish, “um, yes, so how about you Miss? Did Arn tell you of his special fondness for wargs?”

“Name is Pepper. I’m a Druid. Restoration and obviously Beast Bond with Princess here. Arn keeps his hands to himself Princess will be fine.”

Dannis nodded and turned to Val. “I’m Valadian, an Asterathi Warrior. The inherent is Weapon Mastery and my skills are Quick Step and Flurry.”

The stout man spoke next. “I’m Sar, a pyromancer. Have Flame Lance and Flame Wave.”

Dannis nodded. “Huh. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a group like this here. Not a hunter or guard in the lot of you. Well, stranger things have happened. Every day around Arn lately. Anyway, I’ve seen worse group compositions come back alive. Not often mind you. You are going to need to be careful. You don’t have a real Shield with Taunt. You don’t have much Control. Pepper, there is a reason every Druid grabs Entangle, your going to want that next, no matter what beast skill you get offered. And your group doesn’t have enough healing. Low healing, low control and no taunt aren’t a great recipe, especially for a first time group. And Sar.”

Dannis paused. “Listen. Pyromancers are incredibly feared. Used right, they can win battles. But a young Pyro on a hunting team . . . well, Arn regenerates. The rest of you . . . if you don’t want permanent scars, you best put Sar through his paces and make sure he has put the work in to be accurate. And pack burn cream for when Pepper is exhausted. Sorry son, that’s just the way I see it.”

Dannis looked around. “But this team could work. If you talk about, and practice teamwork. If you are incredibly careful and don’t go too far too fast. Imagine Sar here with Fireball. You burn Arn down to the bone a few nights, get his Fire Resistance up to say 5. His class gives a bonus to learning resistances, its doable. Arn runs into a pack of something, Screams, and Sar drops the hammer. Boom! Barbecue!”

Arn sputtered. Dannis smiled, “don’t act so surprised boy! You came up with the Firestone idea yourself! You and Sar are going to cause some serious destruction! And save on cooking time. Ha. Anyway, good luck, if I can help with anything just come by!” Dannis paused as he started walking away and added, “oh and in the name of the Seven Gods, make sure someone has herbalism, skinning, tracking, path-finding and um probably a bunch I’m forgetting. Arn can maybe fill the first two in a pinch, but you’ll be leaving gold on the ground until he gets his skills up a bit higher.”

* * *

That evening, Arn and Sar were off to the side of the Festival proper, but they had a sizable audience nonetheless. Arn thumped his bare chest, and a Flame Lance crossed the distance between the two young men. Arn stifled a scream, as his flesh burned and smoked. Pain resistance or not, nothing, not getting his flesh ripped off the bone or his testicles pierced by slarn fangs, had hurt half as much. Only the gentle caress of madness allowed Arn to continue.

Arn shouted, “thank you Sar, may I have another!” Sar obliged, and Arn’s ruined chest blazed anew. Arn gave into the urge and screamed.

CONGRATULATIONS! Masochist is now level two! A portion of what others experience as pain, you will experience as pleasure. WARNING: Masochist is an upgradeable Achievement and at higher levels has been known to cause aberrant behavior.

Sar looked nauseous. “Arn…that’s enough. I’m getting low on mana and you don’t look so good.” Arn shouted, “STOP PUSSY FOOTING AROUND AND GIVE ME ALL YOU’VE GOT! I WANT IT HARD AND HOT! DON’T STOP UNTIL I’M CURLED UP MOANING. GIVE IT TO ME NOW!”

Keana watched the show in awe. That boy is a shack and a hole short of an outhouse. Still, he is all kinds of different at least. Won’t run when things go bad either. Keana’s lip quirked up, a smirk forming. Wonder if he is willing to work that hard training ALL his skills? Keana reached down to her pouch and grabbed some jerky. “Mmmm”