《STEM: The Topical Dungeon》#041 - Gods Are Mortals In The Worst Ways

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Last night went smoothly between Bomber's sleeping and my own relaxing. I got a few more worms to pad out my supplies and picked a bit of grass for Bomber, but overall I took things easy while Bomber slept in the tree. Although I don't need sleep, exhausting my energy is easy to do without sunlight and food; compared to the dungeon, moving slow helps preserve the energy I have and avoid making me feel light-headed.

The thoughts of my isekai life stepping up at least keeps me motivated even whilst bonking these grubby little shits to death. I never could have imagined the gemfawn would use fire magic but it was equally impossible to predict Bomber could fight and dominate the Bonebacks. Ranbli being so strong makes me almost wish I had Ivy to pit the pair against a gemfawn knowing how to combat the magic-fighting deer. Capturing one with her here would actually be possible if Bomber bashed their antlers out just as quickly.

... But capturing them in that method raises other issues: transporting them and feeding them. Bringing my summons along is one thing but I have no proof I can take a gemfawn through. I'll have Ropert capture one when we get back and try it that way first but afterward, how do we feed it? Will a gemfawn eat the tall grass we have back home? Will I need to try and grow the flowers it chills out near and eats all day? We only recently tried to see if the mana-enriched grass will grow and it's still too soon to know if it'll spread yet.

The more I look at it, the more I'm sure we need to just find a method to construct abroad. Maybe I can devise a method and manually create something whilst utilizing a Landmarker? The Focus-crystals I used for lights may also be some means to create somethi-

Wait. Why didn't I think of that? The crystal the Landmarker uses to claim territory is a larger, similarly formed crystal that can be used for creating lights. I also know that I can overwhelm the Favor crystals with mana to derive a different power source. And despite all that, I never questioned why the ranbi we captured needed a bit of time before we wrested control of them back to make them simple creatures.

Utilizing Favor may be a means to capture creatures, one way or another. It can claim land and animals inspire it, so it seems possible that Favor can enforce dominance over things.

So how much Favor would that take and how could I even reach that? Would the same theory be applicable to magic, since Mana and Favor are similar-conditional power sources? If using Mana or MP could be done, wouldn't that logically be a better use than slowing down the amount of Favor I'm earning?

All the questions in the world, however, are just distractions. My original plan to capture gemfawns failed but we're still okay. The one good thing I found out is that those petals he was chewing on aren't just sweet. Bomber had been sucking on them through the night and when morning came around, he finally swallowed the cheek-stuffing amount.

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Grey Valley Herbal Flower Mix consumed! Summon Bomber has healed 5 HP damage!

These petals are appetizing but Bomber instinctively understood to soak them; the entire night spent moistening in his mouth probably thinned out the cellular wall of the flower petals, which activated their herbal mixtures.

Bomber naturally understood an alchemical use for the things. Or he accidentally discovered it. But the instant he finished swallowing them, he walked right over and had me give him more. That sort of logical deduction makes me think that while Bomber isn't that strong, he's quick to learn.

Maybe our statlines are lower than Ivy's because we have some sort of hidden parameter related to our intelligence. All Ivy ever does is ask to keep the flower-

Wait, did Ivy know this too? Is that why she wanted the flower so much? What would happen if she was able to make something for healing out of the petals and combined it with her Nursing Lick?

... Grey Man must be laughing that it took me this long to see something so obvious. I'm not a natural creature but a plant; neither I nor Ropert have the kind of sensory information that allows us to devise stuff like taste and use, so obviously I needed to rely on my summons. It's nothing to do with hidden stats but simply a matter of plant versus animal.

I turn to face Bomber... and can't help feeling a sense of respect rising up inside my chest.

Bomber's ravenous petal plucking and gullet-stuffing immediately makes it drop right back down.

Er... well, once you're... satisfied... we'll keep going. It's not that much further until we reach the lower valley and the buildings there.

The ranbli's ears twitch and his sight twists over to the treeline to our left. I turn and look, but I sure as shit don't see anything. Sunlight is strong enough to permeate the canopy with ease now but all around us are nothing more than trees.

But Bomber isn't looking away. He drops some of the flowers and recovers his club, lifting it up to his shoulder before muffling out a squeak.

It doesn't take a genius to know he wants to go that way.

Alright, we'll head that way. It's still heading further into the valley anyways, so-... wait, Bomber, let me lead! Hey!

Grey Man tilts his head, watching the pair trudge off through the woods. The god's sanctuary carries on its colorless expanse all around him but the monitor in front of him had been devised by the system to allow deities to monitor the movements of mortals.

"My," the god grumbles, raising a hand to flatly stroke his two-dimensional chin. He taps his cane over the ranbli. "Bringing one of my creatures would have been one thing, but to imagine young Kaden would take Brombler with him!"

The system dings, displaying a pop-up along the bottom of the screen.

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It's Bomber.

Grey Man cackles and taps his cane on the screen again, this time cracking it. The text hued red... and the monitor exploded outward and away from him. The pieces of it hue around and shift, forming an all-too-familiar giantess. Her fiery red skin paled in comparison to the flames dancing across her busty figure, the visage of a stereotypical villain.

But unlike villains, she has no face; a completely and effectively featureless head that looks more fit for a cartoon sits on her shoulders. But that, too, vanishes, instantly sealing behind a mask of pitch black.

"You dislike it?" Her voice hisses, rumbling through his domain. She takes a single step and the entire godly realm melts into an amalgamation of featureless grey and a hellscape. The space between them tumultuously swirls and dances between the two, unyieldingly shifting in a battle of power.

Grey Man is completely unphased and even smiles.

"Dislike? No! In fact, I think a ranbli is a fine arbiter of chaos! After all, they were nearly hunted to extinction a few centuries back, weren't they? I see it as a chance for the species to be restored! Random chances like this are the essence of getting to bring balance back, don't you think?"

How long ago was it that she made those evil bastards?

Faceless Red sighs and snaps, instantly shrinking down to his level. "You actually approving of me? You must really be hoping to bring that precious balance... though I think it'd be easier if you just had your little agent do us both a favor."

The monitor reforms to the side of the pair, shimmering to show a house.

It was a house that Grey Man saw before while observing Kaden. The god tilts his head, squeezing his cane's head.

"You think our son being released is a favor? You sound like I did back before Pillar made that stupid decision to break things."

The evil goddess chuckles but Grey Man's cane lacks firmly to silence her. And not just her either; all around them, the planes recede and condense, crushing in and destroying itself to the encroaching wave of grey. It only stops returning the place to its true state when a ring of hell sits beneath Faceless Red. Her expression would have soured if she had a face, so instead her mask rotates around and the woman leans forward.

She doesn't utter any words. All she does is wait, watching him and probably attempting to peer pressure him.

"... You argued against me before, Red. Why would you change your tone now?"

"Our son," she grumbles. "I may be evil but I at least have machinations of my son being at my side whilst I destroy goody two-shoes and do whatever I wish."

"I warned against it back then because he should be in my role now," the masculine of the two sighs.

Maybe that was why he now hesitated. Doing something another god is after, especially a selfish one, is often paramount to giving them victory. But his old advice had always been sound and he does feel at times to be a bit more bold these days. Kaden's initiative had already attracted Red's attention so the more alleys he possibly acquires, the better to restoring balance.

As much as he dislikes the woman for antagonizing Blue into this situation, two gods agreeing rarely happens in all the novels he reads.

"Fine," he begrudgingly sighs. "Go away or I'll-"

"Destroy my spirit and remove me from the pantheon?"

Grey Man turns his head but she's already gone and his domain is completely restored.

"... Hm. Was she even actually here?"

Bomber, where are you going?

We've been walking for three hours in the same direction. Bomber isn't deviating and he only stops to wait for me. Ordering him to stop also works, of course, but every other order doesn't. Follow orders, orders to try to explain what's going on... none of it works. It's like something is possessing or driving him out this way, enticing him to keep coming with such a strong pull that it overwhelms our Master-Summon relationship.

If you're trying to go home, we can do it a different-

Follow him.

... Fuck. The system is talking to me again. That only means-

Shut up. Follow him. Do what you do best.

As bossy as he is, I'm starting to think Grey Man told me a flat-out lie when he mentioned merely watching me. Giving me a card to break the system was a nice favor but telling me to just follow Bomber means he's playing a hand in this. It's not entirely that farfetched, I guess, since the valley is named Grey Valley.

But that doesn't explain Bomber. He didn't interact with my summons at all last time so I didn't figure that would be how he'd do this. He seemed to be the kind of vengeful god wanting mortals to do all the work, so why change things now and control Bomber?

... Unless he's not the one influencing Bomber? Then what exactly are we heading toward?

Fuck. This doesn't smell like isekai good fortune. This smells like bad luck that's going to end up torching a bush dungeon master like. Heading back now would anger a literal god so I don't guess I have a choice.

Fine. Bomber, just tell me where to go. I'll be leading the way for now, though.

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