《Bitter》Bitter 61
Advertisement
The ground rushed to meet her, and it was in a real hurry. Unlike levitating and flying, this sensation was something altogether less thrilling. It was terrifying. Her stomach rose inside her, making her whole body feel like it was trying to turn itself inside out. Her mind went blank. Everything shivered, and not from the cold air blasting her as she fell.
Britta pulled her thoughts away from the sheer terror and forced herself to think about bubbles. Lovely, floaty bubbles.
The Great Gnome had said the levitation spell was only temporary, but it hadn’t been all that long since he’d given her the ability, and it was her only hope of not creating a small, gnome-shaped crater in the rapidly closing surface.
She suddenly found herself wondering if this was an entire planet. Was it round? It could easily be flat, just for the novelty.
She shook her head. Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles.
She felt herself slow. The air around her was only lightly lifting her hair, her clothes were no longer flapping around like washing on a line. The ground was still a fair distance but it no longer seemed committed to smashing her in the face.
It was hard to control her descent. She didn’t want to start floating back up and she hadn’t been taught how to float down. Being distracted by the animals running around below her helped. She would notice a horse with a horn (a unicorn?) and drop a couple of metres before she could reestablish floaty thoughts. In jumps and starts, she jerkily approached land.
And then the levitation spell was over. She felt it leave her body, like taking off a coat. There had been something around she hadn’t really noticed, until it was taken away. She resumed falling.
She was maybe at the height of a two storey house when she lost the spell. That was still quite high up. There was nothing to break her fall except a grassy meadow. If she had thought about it, she would have manoeuvred herself over a large haystack, but she’d been too busy blowing bubbles in her mind.
Advertisement
The ground smacked her hard. It was painful, but it didn’t kill her. She slowly rose, spitting out dirt and grass. Her entire body tingled. She checked her health bar. There was only a sliver left, and it was flashing. It looked like it was still going down.
Britta opened her inventory and took out a red vial. She drank it and her HP went back up. It wasn’t even half full, but she could breathe easier, the pain was gone and she was no longer shaking. Hooray for imaginary medicine.
She brushed the mud and grass stains off her clothes and looked around. The animals were making a lot of noise, probably asking each other if they’d seen the crazy flying gnome. Britta headed towards the ranch house which was on the other side of a dusty road.
No one seemed to be about, and the road stretched out in both directions through empty fields.
Britta made her way across the road and past the corral of animals. Now that she was close up, she could see them more clearly, and get a much better idea of just how weird they were. The horses had short, stubby legs. The one she thought might have been a unicorn turned out to be a deer with a missing antler. The strangest was a large pig with a ridge on its back like it had grown its own saddle.
There were at least a dozen of them and none of them looked like what Britta had hoped for. They were all broken or damaged in some way. Which made sense. If they were going to give you a mount for free, they wouldn’t want to give you a good one. You’d never buy one yourself if they did that.
The animals snorted and sniffed at her. She stuck her hand through the fence and then quickly yanked it back as a llama with no neck snapped at her.
Advertisement
The other problem was that they were all too big. She wouldn’t even be able to get on without a ladder.
“You there,” called out a woman’s voice. “What you doin’?”
Britta turned and walked towards the woman coming out of the ranch house. She took the token out of her inventory as she approached. “Hello. I think I’m supposed to give you this.”
The woman had something in her hand. She’d been carrying it down by her side so Britta hadn’t seen it at first. It was a pitchfork. The woman raised it and then pointed it at Britta. Then she charged.
Advertisement
- In Serial7 Chapters
Badass
At the end of everything, Taylor Hebert realized something. She didn't want to be a superhero. No, she wanted to be a badass. And then her prayers were answered. Imbued with the power of mimetic badassery and the ability to channel a different real-life badass every week, she set out in search for all the best things in life - well, according to Conan, at least. Modeling herself after Conan have been a mistake. Join her on her high-octane, pulp-fiction journey for vengeance, adventure, victory and mayhem. This isn't just uncensored. It's anti-censored! =========================== (Worm/Fate/Badass of the Week) Warning: crack-taken-seriously, over-the-top pulp-fiction style violence, overpowered protagonist, banned on two other sites. Hell, even the light-hearted omake jokes in this were considered too subversive to persist. ============================ AN: There’s this really, really excellent website called Badass of the Week. I’ve wasted many an hour browsing through, marveling at all the crazy shit some humans are capable of. Check it out, then come back and read this in a few days when the awesome starts to wear off. It’s worth it (all 576 entries). Back? Good! Anyways, I was looking through it recently while thinking about who I wanted to make expy’s of for my The Flying Dutchman quest ship captains (which now languishes in indefinite hiatus), and I had this idea. What if Taylor, wanting to be a badass, triggered with the power to be a different Badass every week? With a bit of Fate-style ability to draw on the tools associated with the legend (but to a just marginally less ridiculous degree), and a drive and aura to be and do badass? And thus, Badass was born in it’s somewhat cracky glory. Enjoy.
8 188 - In Serial16 Chapters
You Only Smol Twice: A Smol Detective Story
This is a fanfic set in the universe of They Are Smol, a delightful series of stories by TinyPrancingHorse which you should totally go and read. It’s the third in my own series about a human investigator in a galaxy full of aliens who are much bigger and stronger than any human. Obviously, there are plenty of spoilers for the previous two stories in here so consider yourself warned. After many successful investigations, Oscar Williams has his loyalty to his adopted alien family sorely tested. What appears to be a simple theft turns out to be anything but, and to capture the perpetrators Oscar might just have to betray his own species… Formal Disclaimer: I do not take credit for the original setting, this story is set in an alternate version of the 'They are Smol' universe, written by the one, the only TinyPrancingHorse TPH takes many forms and is known by many names. He is like Nyarlathotep, only smaller and cuter and more prancey. TPH also has a website should you require more Smol Shenanigans in your life. Which you do, so get over there and read it. The cover art for this is courtesy of Firebane.
8 191 - In Serial52 Chapters
The Blackgloom Bounty
In the dark days before the end of the first millennium, Scotland (or Scotia as some called it) was a leaderless hodgepodge of tribes, clans and warring factions all bent on the same thing--domination of the land. Wizards, sorcerers and magicians still plied their trade, though much of their power had given way to the machinations of men and their war machines. To the south of Scotia lay the realm of the Saxons ruled by Ethelred the Unready and his ruthless minions. To the west, Ireland had just come of age. Everywhere else the constant threat of a lightning swift Viking incursion loomed over the land.Growing up in this lawless world is a displaced Daynin McKinnon, heir to an ancient familial keep on the island of Rhum. He and his grandfather Ean scratch out a living amongst the Saxons, careful never to divulge their clan heritage. That all changes when Kruzurk Makshare chooses Daynin as the ideal prospect to help him bring down a vile sorcerer named The Seed of Cerberus, ferreted away in his impregnable fortress at Blackgloom. Little does Kruzurk know that in so doing, he will launch young Daynin, himself and others on a vast, dangerous quest that no one could have foreseen. *****One Hollywood producer has dubbed this three book fantasy epic from Jon Baxley as, "BRAVEHEART meets THE LORD OF THE RINGS." Real places, people and events flesh out this fast moving, multi-faceted semi-historical series but fear not fantasy readers. There's more than enough of the magical, mystical mayhem you have come to expect from great fantasy. Romance readers, too, will enjoy the 'spice' in these characters--and there are a lot of them--both human and otherwise. And if you're into Viking lore, this series certainly is for you.When someone asks the author about his series, he answers with, “There were far more surprises in this tale than I ever expected and it's not over yet! This volume and the next two contain hundreds of pages filled with rollicking good times, fast moving action and a page turning adventure you will not soon forget."Books In The Scythian Stone Saga:THE BLACKGLOOM BOUNTY Episode 1 - 500 pagesTHE REGENTS OF RHUM Episode 2 - 800 pagesTHE SCIONS OF SCOTIA Episode 3 - 800 pages
8 181 - In Serial26 Chapters
daydreaming, dreamwastaken x oc
in which a twitch streamer calls dream a dick ironically and starts ww3 on twitter (cover art by qyukie on twitter)
8 178 - In Serial23 Chapters
Promise I can change your mind GxG
Kya has always been the classic 'good girl' but when her best friend Bri encourages her to step out of her shell things get kinda wild.
8 230 - In Serial200 Chapters
FEMALE FACECLAIMS √√
For those of you in search of the perfect female faceclaims for your characters, this is the book for you.
8 209

