A tall, bulky man around his 40ties was patrolling side rooms and storages of a kitchen area equipped in nothing more but a butcher’s knife, he was accompanied by two other cooks and four waitresses – they couldn’t care less about some cake, but, as the man was a boss here, his word was law.

His paranoia was well-known, that mad man even installed alarms and traps saying that someone wants to steal his creations and receipts. "And boi", for the first time in decades he was right. To rest of the staff, that was but a prank of some rouge adventurer, for head chief, it was a matter of life and death.

Something moved low, close to the ground, on the opposite side of the kitchen, knocking down some cooking equipment.

“THERE HE IS!” the man yelled with a madman’s voice while charging with knife high in the air

He struck down the kitchen table, breaking it in half, something indeed was hiding under it, but using havoc and confusion it managed to once again change its location without being spotted. The movement and irregular shape, as if it was constantly changing, was the only thing that betrayed his or her presence.

Head chief raised his head and started sniffing.

“For that cake I used special dressing! I will smell you from a mile, you cowardly insect! Noone will steal from great Barthlew Gimigan Seren van Kreill!” “Bart Krel is the name of the boss, but what about rest of those meaningless titles and such?” youngest cook, the man that started working here merely week ago, asked “Shh! Don’t question! Just roll with it! Tomorrow he would use different name, he just have some delusion that longer names would mean he is an aristocrat’s cook or something like that...” “Chief cooks for nobility?” “As if, he could – he was being interviewed once, long ago, but as some spoiled brat – son of a noble, was complain that cherry pie was not sweet enough, boss lost his shit…” “but…cherry pie is supposed to be somewhat sour…” “You don’t discuss with nobles. You apologize, say you would fix it, then you serve them exactly same dish saying that you followed their advice and see how they are complimenting your creation… but boss…” “What did he do?” “He made extra sweet cherry syrup, thick, sticky, disgusting, grabbed the brat by his head and force it into a pot asking ” “Whoah… he is crazy, but has balls to honor his job… I can respect that.” “The thing is, as the King Arthur came here, and even stayed at the guild instead of the palace of some noble, the chief wanted to be noticed and so he was making this cake for past three days….” “Whoever ate it, poor fella, he is already dead.” “Yeah.” “GOT BACK HERE YOU COWARDLY BASTARD! I WILL CHOP YOU INTO PIECES!”

Another movement, somewhere close to the basin they were using to wash dirty plates. Next to it, they made a drainage pipe on the floor where they pouted used water. It was quite a narrow hole in the ground, usually covered with sewer like grate, after the head chief push the whole basin aside spilling water all over the kitchen they notice, that the crate was moved aside, and some shape was vanishing down the pipe.

“H-hey, there is no way a human could fit in there! Not even a child!” “So it comes to this… the evil forces came personally to waste my efforts!” “B-boss?” “They knew I could change the world with my art, so they sent their agents to halt my work! BUT HEAR ME OUT, HEIRA – YOU WHORE – BY MY WORK, THIS WORLD SHALL TRANSCEND! SEND THEN! SEND YOUR IMPS, GNOMES AND EVIL SPIRITS! MY RESOLVE SHALL NOT BE SHAKEN!” “It’s official, chief went full nuts and bananas…” “… nuts and bananas…” the man whispered to himself “Damn! He heard you!”

A colossal man approached youngest cook and grabbed him by his shoulders.

“That’s… marvelous! So brave and exotic! Cake with sweet nuts and bananas! That indeed can work! But, what cake should be used as a base? Biscuit? Yeees, that might work! Denis! You are a genius!” “My name is Deryl…” “I hear you Drake! Let’s do it! You will assist me!” “It’s Deryl…” “ONWARD DAKOTA!” “It’s… whatever…”

Chief, thinking about new receipt, was quick to forget about a little cake thief, once again proving that artists are all crazy.

Kim popped out on the other side of drainage pipe, he cracked his body back into more human-ish form and threw the food’s leftovers off his body.

Mission accomplished! ~ he cheered in his thoughts

~ Blasphemy… what we committed was a blasphemy… this cake… was so delicious, a work of art, and we swallowed it whole instead of savoring each fracture of its aftertaste…

~ We didn’t even play with waitress, and some of them were quite a cuties, oh, I could already imagine their surprised yells and squirms…

~ Ehhh ~ both sins exhaled air in unison

~ That’s what you get for forcing us into this shameful act! Look at us! How do we look!? Like a homeless that just left the trashcan! I will suffer this humiliation no longer! Kim! Get yourself back in shape! Wash the body and put on some clean clothes! I won’t let anyone see us like this! Into the room! Now!.... what are you doing! NOT VIA MAIN DOOR! Which part of you didn’t get? I won’t stand being seen in such state! USE WINDOW!

And poor Kim, being yelled and ordered around, did what he was told to. He jumped on the floor and squeezed himself partly open window. Got himself into , and was about to lie down and let the body regenerate, when the door to his room was forced open.

“Zari?” Lanele looked inside “T-that’s right! I am Zariel! I am the Zarielest Zariel out there! There is no one else that could Zariel more than me!... If you would see any other Zariel out there, he is most likely a cheating pretender and usurper!” “Riiight…” somehow, the priestess that until now wasn’t suspecting a thing became suspicious…. BUT HOW!? To Kim, that was, and forever shall remain, a mystery “… I came over because today is the day!... You remember, right?” “Of course I do! I am Zariel! My intelligence is superior and memory flawless… But you still can bring up the agenda, if you want to, that is…” “I can’t believe it, you did forget!...” priestess massaged her face for a moment or two not being able to believe what she just heard “… even though you were the one asking me for a favor… If it’s a wrong moment, you can just say so, we will meet another time…” “NO! No-no-no! Brother is… I mean, I am a busy man! Late I may not find a time to meet up, and as I was the one already bugging you with this matter, that would be simply impolite of me to force you to wait anymore!" “That’s… thoughtful of you… Very well, sit down, we are about to start.” “So be it!... but start what?” “Studying! You moron! I am teaching you Elvish here!”

And so Kim was forced to repeat complex, tongue-twisting sentence formulas till the very evening till his brain melted and left the body via his ears.

R.I.P Erio Kim. 356-356 of 9th Era, the man who died again.

Nah, he didn’t.