Edited by: tommyjl

We were resting at the inn – probably the last place in the whole city where people acted normally. And by normally I meant that they were drowning their sorrows at the bottom of the glass. Yeah, bandits surely turned their life into a hellhole.

Because, you see, monsters are simpler in that matter. They kill and steal only just enough to fill their bellies, sometimes they would take a little more, just to stay in their lairs without being disturbed. They would attack periodically, thanks to which villagers could prepare themselves. Bah! Sometimes monsters in the region were blessing! Especially those more intelligent one. Some villages would even treat them as their guardians – build them altars on which they would leave offerings. This way beast would stay away from the habituated area and get rid of other monsters and bandits.

Humans, on the other hand, are far more greedy. Trust me, you would rather have a manticore in your neighborhood than an organized group of bandits. Manticore does not burn houses. Manticore does not slaughter dozen of people for no reason. Manticore does not rape or kidnap for ransom.

On the other hand death by manticore’s poison is considered one of the most painful and agonizing ways to die, but hey! You can’t have everything, can you!?

Plus, taking note of the matter above, you actually can reason with the beast, with humans, not really. The beast will view every form of humans concession as a form of a treaty: if they will leave goat every week next to the stone pillar in front of the village, then I won’t move past it. The pillar would be a border sign that one would not trespass.

Bandit? Give them a finger, and they will grab the whole hand! Never satisfied. Did you give them goat this week? Good, so next time give them two and barrel of wine, or else they would burn your granary.

But now, why would I care? For pretty much free, atop of that!? I will tell you why:

One – another favor at Blackwood family. Capitan Jessica may be from a branch of the family, but I am sure that my deeds would not be left unacknowledged.

Two – bandits are weak. Especially for adventurers. Their whole power comes from the element of surprise, knowledge about the environment and lack of mercy. Capitan Blackwater admitted that herself – they would have gotten rid of them weeks ago if they could have fought on open ground. But bastards decided to play Robin Hood and his man in tights hiding all over the bushes. As soon as we would locate them, which was more than just a simple task (because, you know, magic) we would use them as a stress reliever. I may not need this at the moment, but Giselle? Yes. She was more than frustrated after her sparring with gnoll.

Three – main reason! As we were going to prepare ourselves before a battle, we would have to rest. That meant no trainings with Giselle! Hallelujah!

I know, I know, I was supposed to “train”. But I simply can’t consider Giselle’s methods as sufficient. I need few weeks to myself, first for mediations. Then I would make myself a whole training plan. In the end, Giselle only knows one training pattern – the one that ends in becoming berserk slaughtering enemies with heavy, two-handed weapons. Not really my style.

Also, I should find some expert in hand-to-hand combat, that would benefit my morphing ability the most. Maybe some monk? Or martial artists? But first I will have to get rid of Giselle. And don’t misunderstand me here! I love her!... but sometimes I would love to take a break from this love? You know, go with friends to the bar, watch a football match, play D&D tabletop… in places where no girls are allowed.

Ehhh, I slowly miss being single.

In that moment dragoness, which was eating in front of me, coughed as if she suffocated herself a little with her food.

- “Everything all right, darling?” I asked lazily putting mug filled with ale to my lips

- “Yeah, all right, all right. I had that weird feeling as if you wanted to cheat on me. Or break up with me. Or do some other silly action that would result with your bones fracture…”

…. What the hell?! HOW!? Don’t tell me that she awoken her yandere sixth sense?!

- “We talked about it, it’s just your imagination.”

- “I know, I know…” she sighed heavily “… but maybe I could punch you few times? You know, as a preventative measure. I am pretty sure you would mess up something sometime soon.” She smiled to me lightly. It was clear that she was just joking about it.

Or was she?

- “That would be an effect that occurs before a cause. A paradox. Bah, using your pattern of thoughts, if I would be punished before , I would be morally justified to actually mess something up. Because I would have already served my punishment….”

Eyes of dragoness blurred a little, I am pretty sure that she stopped listening to me after half of the first sentence.

- “Fine, fine…” she snapped out to reality “… also, may I ask you a question Zari?”

- “You just did.” Here we go again.

- “I mean, the question after that!?”

I gazed on Lanele, poor elf was barely holding her laughter.

- “You won’t believe it.”

- “What!?”

- “You did that again.”

Oh, she actually looks cute when she got angry. It’s only important to not cross the line of frustration.

Gis took few deep breaths before crossing finger of her palms and resting on the table. She looked at me with intellectual sharpness in her eyes (which meant that she was dangerously close to overheating her last three brain cells) before she stated her mind, doing her best to avoid the questioning form of the sentence.

- “Zari, I wish to ask you a question regarding your last actions, I would appreciate if you would answer it.”

I waited for something along the line “would you mind answering it”, yet it did not happen. Clever girl.

I could, and wanted to, roll with that for few more rounds, yet muscles on her arms that were dangerously pulsating, betraying how little of a push she needed to lose her composure.

- “What is it?”

- “Why did you agreed on helping those people?”

- “What do you mean? We are adventurers, helping other is what we do!”

She spat the beer that she was about to swallow, as she burst into hysterical laughter.

- “Good one! You! Helping others! Zari, I never knew you were such a joker! Come on! Tell me something more!”

She tried to pay me back for that little mockery of mine from just a moment ago.

- “I have no idea what you mean. I am very helpful, compassionate, and selfless person! Your words are hurting me.”

Once again, her expression changed.

- “My-my, I have to admit, that Capitan Blackwater is a very pretty woman!” she said trying to act as if she didn’t direct that statement to me.

Really? This is how you want to play?

- “Indeed. She is a beautiful, strong woman. From good family too. I bet that she has many admirers! Just look at her, these long, naturally wavy black hair, well trained body, and cu…” I started describing what a wonderful person our task-giver is.

- “Cut it out!” apparently the conversation didn’t go in direction that Giselle wanted.

- “No, why?! You started it! It’s only natural for male to help a damsel in distress!”

- “One more word… and I will spread your body on the walls…”

That’s what you get for your passive-aggressive bullshit, darling.

- “Unfortunately she has that one flaw which makes her completely unattractive for me…” that picked her interest again “… she is not a brash, half-reptilian, insensitive brute I love.”

- “… do you think it helps your situation? Idiot?” she would answer fighting back with a blush

Guessing by the tip of your tail which just started to go up and down rapidly, yes.

- “Now! Kiss!”

The mood was completely broken by Lanele. I almost forgot about her, for most of our conversation she remained completely quiet. Yet she did not remind idle. During our little quarrel, her expression just kept changing into… more lewd one? That’s the most fitting description. She almost exhaled steam via her nostrils. Wait, did she just start bleeding from her nose?

- “That was… awkward.” Even Giselle shared my point of view.

Still, what else could expect from teenager girl that has never been in a real relationship?

- “Well, that’s it! Look at the time! We should go back to bed and rest if we want to take over a castle by ourselves…” saying so, I started getting up from my chair

- “No! You won’t leave me like that! Where is my grand-finale!?” Bit drunk elf raised her objection by hitting the table with her mug, spilling lots of ale “… oh shit…”

Using fuss that priestess created we quickly left dining hall of the inn and went toward our rooms.

Tomorrow we start killing again.

Next morning.

We left an inn as the sun was rising on the horizon, and right after passing the doorstep we were welcomed by Capitan Jessica and squad of about 70 men.

- “Aaaand, what are you doing here?” Giselle asked

- “We asked you for help, but we will not just stay here, behind fortification, as you are doing our job.”

- “We appreciate your support… but we are not suited to work and travel with soldiers.” I tried to nicely ask noblewoman to stay away from the mess that we were about to cause.

- “And I appreciate your courtesy, but if you wish to say something, just do it, no need to coat your words in formality and politeness. Just spit it out.”

She wasn’t angry. She just wanted to clarify her situation.

- “You will slow us down.” I followed her advice.

Her soldiers didn’t like my remark, but she just nodded few times.

- “I understand your point of view… But I also have to respect the orders of my King and my family. And my uncle wishes me to get experience in battle in different environments so…”

- “So you are willing to risk lives of villagers for your own egotistical needs?”

I allowed myself to attack her sense of honor. I always considered it to be a weakness.

- “I most certainly am not. I am leaving forty men in fortified positions around the city, that will be more than enough to keep it safe from groups that would slip past us!”

Oh, so she actually thought about that. My bad. I admit my defeat.

- “Girls, how do you feel about it?” I decided to look for support from my companions.

- “I don’t mind, but we are doing it our way.” Lanele answered cheerfully.

- “There is one pace – our pace, if you can’t keep it, you are staying behind.” Giselle also didn’t want to make any problems.

I grunted and rolled my eyes. The more people are around me, the less violent I can get with my spells. Also, I could always “lose” Lanele somewhere and just morph. With a whole squad of soldiers watching my back, I pretty much lost this advantage.

For the very last time, we checked our equipment before moving out.

Bandits POV

The Watcheye Castle. Ha! Even in days of its glory, it could barely be called a castle! Just stronger and bigger watchtower! And now?! Ruins. Walls are cracked and broken in several places, through few of the gaps a whole squad of charging cavalry could easily get inside.

That is if they would survive rain of the arrows that bandits would unleash.

Despite the horrible state of fortification, the location of so-called “castle” was good enough to protect current habitants from pretty much every form of assault. But no one would ever come here. That would be a suicide. Especially if you would take into consideration traps and ambushes that were placed all around it and in the forest that covered the Watcheye mountain.

From here, defenders could easily scout the valleys below, yet garrison itself could be seen only from few spots. Of course, if you would there, it would be far too late.

Self-proclaimed bandit king was sitting on his throne, gazing on maps spread across a huge table. He was relatively old for a bandit. Between his forties and fifties, with his bald head covered in scars and missing one eye, his wound covered by an eye-patch he gave the impression of being a mindless berserker.

That was a reason for his many successes. He managed to live long enough only because his opponents would underestimate his intelligence. And he, Malcolm called Steelfist never came into battle without a plan, ambush and additional knife in his boot.

Ah, if he wasn’t born a commoner, he would probably reach a higher position in the military. But no, because of his origin he could become only a sergeant. Serving under people far less competent than him, seeing as his commanders were sending his friends into death just because they were brainless morons…

… That would make anyone embittered. He left the army becoming a deserter and for past 15 years, he started plundering the lands he was once sworn to protect.

He often changed locations avoiding capture. He had only one goal to prove that the position to lead the army should be given to one with experience, skills, and knowledge, and not just because someone was born with a silver spoon shoved in their asses.

Fifteen years. For fifteen years he was proving his point, yet there was no one to listen, to see, to understand.

I didn’t matter. He would just continue doing his deed.

But just recently, he found an opponent that could be called worthy. That young girl surely had guts, spirit and brain. A rare combination. Unlike many before her, she was fighting on the first line of battle. Bah! Many times she outwitted him, catching his scouts and groups of attackers. He was forced to look from afar as she taunted him by serving his men a horrible death – death of thugs.

Death of thugs does not suit soldiers! And he and his people were soldiers! Even better trained than all legions of Neira!

… But, he needed to break his vows. In the end, they were lacking a logistic support of weapons, food, medicines and materials. They had to attack villages. And they had to spread terror all over villagers. They had no other way. No, if they needed to continue doing things they believed were just.

At least lately they obtained lots of cannon fodders – local bandits. Scums and rascals he conquered. They were just disorganized bunch. First, they agreed to serve him because of his strength. Then, their loyalty only increased because of the number and quality of goods that they earned under his guidance.

Soon, they started calling him a bandit king. Bandit King. What a humiliation. He felt as if he reached the lowest point of his miserable life.

The door to his chamber were slammed open as one of his man and friend entered the room.

- “Malcolm. They moved.”

- “What? Are you sure?”

- “I may be old, but I am not blind!” scout said with sly smile.

- “That was rhetorical question, Mark, it was supposed to vocalize my state of ultimate surprise!” no matter how hard times would get, no one would ever take away from them those little, friendly mockeries that would brighten their days

- “Oh? Did you just improved your vocabulary? And they say that you can’t teach old dog new tricks…”

- “Why did they move? They have the advantage. For past weeks we were in defense. If they would continue current strategy, they would eradicate us. On the other hand, frontal attack on Watcheye is like a suicide. An act of hysteria. That woman proved many time that she is not kind of hysterical girl.”

- “Maybe she got orders from capital? To finish with us as soon as possible, or she would be removed.”

- “That could be, but, your idea has one flaw, old friend, it benefits us. In real life, nothing really benefits us.”

- “Pessimistic as always?”

- “Always, but better to have prepared for the worst case scenario, that way you are pleasantly surprised when the situation turns out better than you planned for”

- “So, what do you think?”

- “For now, stick to the plan. Send word to ambush squads. Usual pattern – hit and run. I want them bleeding by the time they would reach the fortification. Survival of our troops is essential. I want no god-damned heroes! If someone does not see a clear way to attack, then he is not supposed to fucking attack! Is that clear!?”

- “Aye aye, sergeant!”

- “Good.” He raised from his throne and picked up his battleaxe. He walked toward entrance of the hall and walked outside, to the courtyard of garrison “… Listen boys! We are expecting visit of certain noble! We wish to not offend our guest by treating them without respect! So we better prepare one hell of welcome party! PREPARE FOR A SIEGE, YOU MAGGOTS!!”