《Legend of the Gunslinger Mage》Chapter 10: A pain in the Ass (part 2/2)
Advertisement
The night was cold. Every once in a while, a gust of wind would rush past the two of them, causing them to shiver. Brennda kept walking unsteadily, while Manco followed her closely, curious about what kind of event she would trigger.
As they turned a corner, she slowed down and turned around.
Putting a finger on her lips, she let out an exaggerated "SSSShhhhh!"
Rolling his eyes, Manco nodded and whispered: "I know, I'll keep quiet."
Nodding, she crept toward a wooden wall and gestured him to follow. Joining her at the wall, he peeked through the gaps between the planks.
They were looking directly at master Gwyndham's house.
The place could be described more precisely as a bamboo cottage with thatched roof, which made it stand out from the other houses in the village. It was in a middle of a small plot of land filled with all sorts of plants and vegetables.
In front of the cottage was a table and next to it, a small chair where the old man was sitting and nodding off.
Then a cold wind bled toward him. Starting awake, he looked around as if to make sure no one was there.
He stood up and collected his belongings from the table: a teapot, a cup, a lunchbox, a pipe. After that he turned toward the house...
... revealing a gigantic hole on the back of his pants, completely revealing his buttocks.
"Pffft!" Brennda's hands shot up, covering her mouth. Her shoulders were shaking from the suppressed laughter. Tears began falling down her cheeks.
Fortunately, master Gwyndham did not notice the noise. He kept walking toward the house…
*PPHHHRRRBTtttt
… and let one rip, causing the pieces of fabrics around the hole to flutter furiously!
"Eeep!" Brennda let out a small yelp and bit down on her hand to keep from laughing. On the other side of the wall, the farting stopped as Gwyndham froze, and so did Manco's heart.
Advertisement
In the blink of an eye, the old man pulled his crossbow out of nowhere, turned around and shot.
*Twang! *Thwack!
A bolt pierced the wooden wall they were hiding behind, a mere finger's width away from Brennda's face. Her eyes widened.
"Who's there?" Gwyndham shouted.
Not wanting to face the master who was very likely in a murderous mood, Brennda and Manco crept away from the wall. As quickly and quietly as possible, they weaved through alleyways and small roads, making their way back to the tavern
When it was obvious they are not followed, Brennda began laughing. She laughed so hard that she had to sit down.
"Oh my god! That was hilarious!" She said breathlessly. The revelation plus the near-death experience had apparently made her sober.
"Yes, it was," Manco said dryly, unamused. He forgot just how whimsical and off-the-wall the game's logic could sometimes be. A normal person could simply fix the pants or ask someone to buy a new pair. Who would sit around all day in holey pants? And why did he have only one pair? Why did he have to sit outside?
'Stupid video game logic!' Mahn Li cursed inwardly. Nevertheless, he felt lucky that he met Brennda and staked out Gwyndham's house instead of wasting time talking to other people and listening to their useless speculations.
"I don't believe it! So that's why he never moves from that chair!"
"Apparently so," Manco replied, shaking his head.
"What do we do now?" She asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. "There is no clothing shop in this village."
"I don't suppose you have a pair of man pants with you."
"Oh, Anthony does! I'll go back to the tavern and look in his luggage."
"Does it… um… suit Gwyndham's taste though?"
"I'm not sure. From the look of it, the pair he's wearing is made of rough cotton and have leather paddings on the knees. I'll find a pair that is most similar."
Advertisement
"How many pairs does Anthony have?"
"A couple dozens. The idiot brought half of his wardrobe!" She scoffed.
At the tavern, Brennda disappeared inside while Manco looked at the sky, thinking about how to properly "gift" the pants to Gwyndham.
After ten minutes, she walked out the door, carrying a bundle in her hands.
"These are not exactly the same, but probably close enough!" Manco said, inspecting the pants.
"Okay. But how are we gonna give these to him?" Brennda asked, "We can't walk to his door and say 'Hello, I heard your pants are busted, so I'm giving you these.'"
"I'm thinking the same thing," Manco nodded, "he'll probably shoot us dead on the spot."
"How about we throw it at his door?"
"That's just as suspicious. He suspects someone saw his holey pants. At night, someone throws a new pair of pants at his door. In the morning, someone comes to ask for a training. He'd be an idiot if he couldn't connect the dots."
"Hmm. You're right!" She admitted and they spent a few moments thinking.
"Wait, I've got an idea!" Manco said. A light bulb turned on in his head.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The following morning, outside master Gwyndham's house.
A gaudily decorated wagon was parked in front of the place. Several men were unloading heavy-looking chests and putting them in front of the master.
"Good morning, o great Master Gwyndham…" Anthony began his speech, his charm turned up to the max.
"Get lost!" Against the master archer's surly face, that charm was useless.
Gritting his teeth, the Anthony cut his speech short and went straight to the point. "In exchange for your teachings, this lowly one would like to present to you these presents"
He then proceeded to unveil one gift after another like a salesman.
"Here are the finest silk cloak, made of diamond worm silk…"
"…A deck of playing cards, decorated with depictions of the finest ladies of the citadel wearing little more than perfume and seductive smiles…"
"…A set of hunting clothes, consisting of tunic, vest, pants, belts, arrow quivers, caps. Made out of excellent materials, surely suited to all sorts of weather…"
The master's expression remained stoic, but his eyebrows raised ever so slightly at the word "pants."
"Yes!" Manco exclaimed quietly. He was standing in the crowd of onlookers, watching the cutscene unfold. "This could work!"
Anthony continued his presentation for several more minutes. Eventually, having run out of things to say, he fidgeted awkwardly and threw glances at Brennda for support.
"Alright," said the master "I guess I'll make an exception for you. I don't need all of these. Just the hunting clothes," he paused, and added in a low voice "and the deck of cards."
Beaming like it was early Christmas, Anthony bowed so low his head almost touched the ground.
"This lowly one thanks master!"
"No need for such formalities! Come back in the afternoon and I'll teach you."
"Afternoon? Why… Ack!" Anthony began to protest but Brennda silenced him with a fist to the ribs. She placed the items Gwyndham requested on the table next to him and gestured to the men to load the rest onto the wagon.
"Thank you for your time, master Gwyndham. And we apologize for bothering you." She said with a slight bow, and he nodded in acknowledgment.
She and Anthony boarded the wagon, and the crowd parted to let it past.
The moment she saw Manco, Brennda grinned, winked at him and mouthed "Thank you!"
〔Hidden quest completed: "A pain in the ass."〕
Advertisement
- In Serial63 Chapters
Farmer: The first
Jason was one day walking home from his work hoping for another uneventful day, but that was only wishful thinking as it would turn onto anything but ordinary. He saved someone, but because not all good deeds are rewarded he unexpectedly died, but he didn'tgo to the afterlife. Instead meet 'god' who offered him a second chance, but again not every good deed is rewarded and he is reincarnated just like that. A cruel and brutal world awaited him. Full of magic ,adventure and opportunities, but is it worth living?
8 145 - In Serial41 Chapters
SPARROW
Imperial bodyguard Ichiro gets more than he bargained for when his VIP, the Princess Abiona, runs away from home and drags him with her! Crash landing on an alien planet, Ichiro and Abiona meet the hermit Angora; an outlaw hated by his own people ... and their only hope of survival. The galaxy is vast, and full of danger. Cultists, vassels of the royal family, rebels and criminal enterprises collide, as Abiona's adventure across the galaxy changes the fate of the universe forever. The people of the galaxy are oppressed and downtrodden, or rich and powerful ... but they're also anxious, idealistic, happy-go-lucky or burdened by their dark pasts. Ichiro, Abiona and Angora must navigate strange worlds and even stranger people to survive ... and they'll have to come to terms with their own baggage to harness the strange powers they carry within. New Episodes available every week on Monday Now available on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/309620761-sparrow
8 202 - In Serial6 Chapters
Magick Untold
Meet Danos. An elf. A several hundred year old elf that has a slight obsession with learning magick of various kinds. Meet Emcess. A Jasrai. As bald as they come, has a mead addiction, and can't leave Danos alone. Meet...a stranger to Shedeth. What could she need..is she a Human? Humans are almost always in hiding..why is one here in Shedeth of all places? Emcess, Danos, and a Human newcomer somehow end up getting a bounty that quickly gets spread across Syldarim. With nothing but a barrel of Waiss, the clothes on their backs, and..a stick the trio takes on countless bounty hunters while searching for the humans cure. ~Part One completed. ~Final editing being done which will change the text but the content will remain the same. You will then be able to puchase an epub upon completion.
8 106 - In Serial33 Chapters
Tearha: Queens of Camelot
Following the lost of the leader of Wendereight, a serial killing case in the town of Grimmel unravels into a tale of politics and intrigue as the lost race of lizardkins returns. Slowly, the secret rulers of the Tinderland Consolidates around Artria Pendragon and Morganna Dresden. The two Knights of the Round ends up standing between a genocide and the fall of an empire.
8 194 - In Serial51 Chapters
Enda (Boyxboy)
Canton Foster is an aspiring Chef until one day he breaks, feeling that he can no longer do it. The students of the Academy have seen one of their own fall and come to a conclusion that Canton is depressed. So he is sent to Bosworth. Bosworth is a facility for mental illnesses. Canton believes that Bosworth Institute is another asylum like place until he wanders away and falls into an old sewer while walking on the beach. The sewer drains off into an enchanted world known as Enda. Enda is a world plunged into war and chaos. Fire, Ice, Earth and Water Clans Fighting endlessly. Above the war and chaos, Canton is given the reason why he fell into this world...one he cannot let go.Because if he does, Enda could be no more.With Clans clashing, underdogs rising, the mysterious beautiful world of Enda sucks Canton in. Until eventually only a lost Prince could save us now...(Warning: if you do not like manga style chapter parts that build up the story, then don't read it. That is all.)
8 161 - In Serial5 Chapters
SkepHalo Stuff [Discontinued]
Very OOCAnd AngstBoyHalo, I will probably write a lot of BadBoyHalo angst.Please read this I get off on reads.
8 92

