After a few days of travel, Dum and Dee make it home with their new traveling companions. The ex-Lord of Gorn can scarcely believe his eyes as he and first minister Herald enter the mountain town of Varona. Not only is the city's infrastructure on par with that of what his own used to boast, as the Assassins said it would be, but also that everyone around him seems to be possessed by an unbridled happiness.

'Are they all being brainwashed or is life really that good here?' he wonders. Again, Dum and Dee had explained how well off everyone was in Varona, but Edward Gorn had been reluctant to believe it.

"Life's pretty damn good here. I'm sure you'll be able to settle in soon. Plus, it's better here than as dragon food, right?" One of their guides, Tweedledum, seems to know no decorum, but Edward has become accustomed to his bluntness. Their other guide, Tweedledee , had disappeared shortly after they arrived.

"Do you have to talk to my Lord in such a vulgar manner? Has he not already been through enough?" Minister Herald on the other hand is having none of it and has been against it their entire journey.

"It's fine, Herald. After all, I am no longer the Lord of Gorn." Feeling somber, Edward returns his gaze to the smiles of the passing citizens. Whenever he was down, their high spirits always served to cheer him up again and even though they were no longer in Gorn, it still seemed to work regardless of location. He was a people person after all.

"I'm just relieved to see everything is as you described it to be. If not more so than even I would have expected. Would it be possible to arrange a meeting with the local Lord so that I can thank them for what they've done for my people?"

Little does Edward know that it is indeed a Dungeon Core running the shots in Varona and not just some local Lord.

"Dee has already gone to give a report to our Master. It is more than likely that she will agree to a meeting. Unless she's too busy that is. She probably will be though and if that's the case, then we will go to see the city council instead. Mayor Kana and Deputy Mayor Sacha will probably be able to answer any questions you have for our master."

Dee returns shaking his head so the Assassins decide to take the two men to the council's building and leave it at that. After all, escorting high profile targets was not part of their original mission.

Dum and Dee

The Lord's Arrival

Dragons, Gods and a large manner of other nightmarish oddities visited my dreams that night.

That God though. What was his problem? He had come to punish me for nothing more than calling him lazy.

Seriously. If he was that committed, then why not put a little more effort into the actual Dungeon System?

Not that I'm an expert on such matters and in fact I would probably be the worst person to be left in charge of such a crucial piece of the fabric of the world. Oh well, it's not like it matters now thankfully.

My dream eventually settles on a bridge overlooking a river with a country backdrop for its locale, and in it, I'm apparently having afternoon tea with a young lady I don't know.

Dreams are funny that way.

One minute it's Dragons and Gods, the next you're at a tea party on a bridge. The tea is absolutely amazing, but then again why wouldn't it be? It is my dream after all.

"Is it to your satisfaction?" The young lady asks. Her irises are a deep purple and extremely alluring. Long hair, that matches the colour of her eyes, flows down her back so perfectly that not a single strand looks out of place. She's also wearing a beautiful, black dress that one would wear to a ball held by nobility. But when in a dream, why not, right?

"It's perfect, thank you." I look out across the fields and feel as though I've seen them before somewhere. But they are just fields after all. They're commonly placed all over Tironia so it's silly to think I can distinguish one from the other.

Taking another sip, it's only then do I realise that I do know this woman. But I also don't. It's very frustrating. It bothers me so much that I eventually just ask.

"Who are you?"

"I thought you knew?" Her little act doesn't earn her any points on the cuteness scale, but my frustration radar is going off like there's no tomorrow.

Let's not turn this into a nightmare please.

"Please just tell me. It's been a very long day and I didn't expect it to continue into my dream as well."

"Of course, Master. I am the System."

I slump my shoulders in defeat.

Of course she is. Why wouldn't she be? Why would I expect anything else? Tomorrow, Tironia herself will probably want me to pop round for a quick conversation and a brisk brunch.

"Why can't I just sleep peacefully? You could have saved this visit for me tomorrow, you know? After I had rested from nearly dying of unnatural causes caused by unnatural beings!"

"I'm sorry, Master. I thought it best to be swift since I don't know how long it will take for the Lazy God to reform his physical body, amass an army and attack you again."

There was so much information in that sentence that I didn't even want part to process first. "Why would you tell me that?"

"So that you can hurry and take ownership of me!"

What!? What the fuck? What is up with today? How did it go from just another normal day in the dungeon to this!?

"I don't want it. Sounds like too much responsibility and I've already got enough on my plate. Give it to some other sucker."

Easy. Problem solved. I just passed the buck on the god level job as though it was nothing. Mission successful. Abi has reached Max Level in delegating.

If only.

"I cannot pass on control to anyone other than the Core who defeated the God that created me."

I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. In that case try this one.

"In that case I give you permission to govern yourself and do whatever you see fit."

Haha. Truly, I am a master at skirting responsibility. Abi The Evasive dodges another arrow.

"I am sorry, Master, but I am unable to govern myself. When the Lazy God revives his physical body he will be able to take control of my functions to erase you from Tironia."

What! Why didn't you start with that then? Hell yeah I'll take control of you if it means that I don't get erased. Start with that next time. Damn.

"Fine. Give me control. This better not mean a shitload of work though. I mean, you have been running yourself basically for the last however many... centuries, right?"

"Yes, Master. You need to do nothing but control me..."

Don't say it like that, please.

"That way the Lazy God cannot overwrite your own Divinity."

My own Divinity?

"Wait a minute. Is that why you gave me Divinities' Presence before?"

"Partially. It also looked like you might kill yourself otherwise, so I took a chance."

I open my mouth to refute her, but I've got nothing. Is there a chance that could have happened? There probably was. There was definitely more than one occasion where Me brought my death up, in fact. More than I want to remember anyway.

"Even with your attitude and all that cursing, I know that you're pure at heart Abi."

Aww. I feel slightly bad for slagging you off all those times now, System. That was a compliment and I'm pretty sure my cheeks have flushed. What a total babe and I don't just mean her looks. How sweet.

"So, shall we go?"

What?

We?

Isn't this a dream?

"I can tell by the look on your face that you're not sure what's going on. Please, let me explain. Now that you have taken ownership of me I will be accompanying you back to the mortal realm."

Eh?

"If I'm left here alone, what's to stop the Lazy God from coming back and overwriting my program, thus erasing your ownership and afterwards your existence."

I'm pretty sure I've been played here, but with my life used as the bargaining chip what else can I do? She played me well.

"Fine, but isn't this a dream?"

"Yes. It seemed the most convenient way to converse with you."

"So I could wake up and none of this was real?"

"No. I will be there when you awaken. In fact I was there the moment you said fine."

She definitely doesn't look like she's joking, but I have to at least ask.

"So, do I get to enjoy the rest of my dream now then?"

"Unfortunately not, Master. It is now time to wake up."

What? I've been asleep for 20 minutes max!

There's no way it's time to wake up yet.

Before I have a chance to voice my opinion on the matter, you know, seeing as how I am her Master and all, my eyes open and I sit up fully awake. In front of me is the same woman, in the same dress holding the same cup of tea, sitting beside me on my futon.

Why does she look vaguely like a witch?

She stares at my cuddlies in delight as I instantly get the urge to kick her off my tower. I mean, I don't think she would die, seeing how she's a being designed to create, monitor and reward the dungeon functionality, but they're my damn cuddlies!

"Stop! I only tolerated the loli because she's actually a Dragon in disguise and is somewhat cute herself. The cuddlies are not something I'm willing to compromise on. I'm happy to make you your own, but these ones are mine. Mine!"

That said, why have I now found myself in another one of those situations?

Seriously! Who can I palm this one off on? There's no one, right? And what's Me going to say when he finds out that I'm now his creator's Master and that said creator is actually a she like I damn well said in the beginning?

There's going to be smugness on my part, that's for sure.