《Dungeon Core Abi》Chapter 77: The Lazy God
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Every fibre of what I had thought to be a really strong body was crying in panic. The every-day-Bob before me doesn't look like much, but my under the surface animalistic instincts are kicking and they're screaming he's a threat to me.
One wrong word and I would be done for.
Aren't I the worst person to be in this situation? Why didn't he take Me? That would have been better. He's always got something to say.
Shit! He's still staring at me and I haven't said anything since he asked the question he obviously knows the answer to.
Where are Light and Dropper when I need them!?
"In my defense, I didn't know you were real," I weakly answer. His gaze doesn't falter and it feels as though he's drilling away at my soul.
Please don't do that. I've only got this one and I don't know how fragile it is after going from human to core.
"Real or not, you think you can mock me?" The weight of his presence doubles and I feel the full force of it bearing down on me.
"I didn't mean to call you lazy. I just... you did kind of just leave the machine running without any supervision though, right?"
If it was heavy before that comment it somehow managed to get heavier after it as the self-professed God stood in front of me, glaring at me with the full force of his rage.
Shit! I'm going to die here. This guy's not just a little bit annoyed about what I said. He took it as a full-force insult and challenge to his honour! What the fuck? Dude, it was just an off-handed comment by your friendly neighborhood Dungeon Core. Please don't kill me for it!
"I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to say that about your majestic godliness... or, something like that?"
Yes. Apology said. Points in my favor. Got a little sketchy at the end, but we're back on track.
"Something like that!" Are the only words he bellows back.
Come on, dude. Don't be like that. What about the beautiful apology before that last part? I even threw in a compliment.
"You continue to mock me, child. And to think I was going to let you off with a mere thousand years of service."
"Like fuck! Throwing out sentences like that don't help me grovel for forgiveness, you prick!"
Not that I'd say that to his face.
"How dare you speak to me like that! Now I will send your soul to the furthest depths of the universe to sit in penance for the next millennia!"
Oops.
This is not going my way. I'm shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely. Pretty sure I might have pissed myself a second ago too but I'm too scared to check. Why did I have to go and say that out loud? I don't wanna rot in the universe.
Although now that I think about it, isn't his punishment kind of lazy too? Sending me off somewhere for a predetermined amount of time where he doesn't have to deal with me. Yeah, that's lazy as fuck. What is with this guy? Or God?
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"Doesn't that kind of prove my point? About being lazy and what not. Either way, because I'm here you could give me some great ideas or powers or something and send me back down better than ever, couldn't you?"
"I could, but I won't be doing that."
"But it would help you, wouldn't it? Having me do all your dungeon work for you."
I wait in silence as he considers my proposal.
"Do not try to trick me, mortal. The System I set in place will function until the end of time if left undisturbed. Why do I need you to do it for me when I have that, and when I would much rather punish you."
What is it with wanting to punish me? I didn't even do anything wrong. Calling someone lazy is not a crime.
"I can manage the system for you, just in case anything ever goes wrong. I can do that free of charge as well as helping the people advance."
"Hmm." The Lazy God clearly thinks about the amazing benefit of never having to check his System again.
I've got him here. Abi The Invincible isn't going to die today. Just a little bit more. One final push.
"That way you get to do whatever you want without having to worry about the dungeon. You can put your feet up, sleep for a millennia and just do nothing like you wanna."
The pressure that had been slowly subsiding slams back down on me once again like a wave. Pinned to the couch, I can only watch as the Lazy God's face contorts in fury.
"That's just another way of calling me lazy!"
"Well, I wasn't actually going to say it."
Also it's a bit hypocritical when he actually wants nothing to do with the System.
"I am everything here, and you dare to disrespect me like that again?! My Divine Presence will show you the meaning of the word pain!" He screams at me. Oddly enough though, I only actually heard two words in that sentence and the fear I was wrapped in is slowly pulled away.
Divine Presence? Is that like my own Divinities' Presence perhaps?
As he raises a hand toward me, I too do the same which causes him to fluster, but not stop. At that moment a white light is fired from his hand and a black one shoots out of my own.
Going to be honest, I've got no fucking idea what's going on right now. I'm just winging it and trying not to die.
The two forces of power clash against each other and the Lazy God cackles like an evil magician who's just discovered a new life-draining spell. Who would have known that Gods were so fucked up?
The Lazy God's laugh soon fades away as his power starts to diminish and my beam begins to envelop his own light. His face pales as my presence overwhelms his own and engulfs his body.
Huh? That was actually quite easy. What is it with everything being so easy recently? Then again, my Divinities' Presence is Maxed.
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Before I can think any further the Aura surrounding the lazy god explodes. He's panting and looks even more angry than he did before.
"Hey! I didn't start this fight. In fact, I didn't even know that it was a fight until that beam-thingy shot out of my hand. So stop. Now!" I yell at him.
He screams at me ferociously. A telltale sign that he is indeed not going to stop and is in fact intent on taking it up a level. Which isn't fair in my opinion. I'm already severely outclassed here after all. He is a literal God and I am... me.
Another feeling begins welling up inside me. One of confidence. At first I'm slightly confused about where it's coming from as I'm pretty sure I'm not the one emitting it. I then remember that I'm connected to my family through the bond we share through the dungeon. The one thing that lets me know who's returned and when. My will.
This time though, instead of a warm 'we're home', it's a fervent 'fight!', and it's not just coming from one or two, but from everyone. Everyone connected to me through our bond is urging me to do my best and not die. One in particular is just screaming 'Master!' but he can wait until I'm back to talk about the etiquette of communication during battle.
Bloody loudmouth.
That said, another voice is offering something different, something new and something I'm hoping can help us get out of this terrifying situation. Latching on to the cord of Light's will, I summon my Assassin straight into the realm of the Gods. That instantly put lazy on the back foot as he wasn't expecting anyone else to show up unannounced in his domain.
"How are you doing that! My Divine Presence is Level 4 and my Domain is Level 3. Who's helping you!?" He screams at me while frothing at the mouth. It's not a nice sight, especially not on a God.
"Light." On my command the level 100 Assassin moves faster than any person has the right to do so and closes the gap between himself and the God in the blink of an eye. Light's hand is covered in a darkness as black as the beam that fired from my own hand moments ago and he thrusts it directly into the Lazy God's chest.
Unable to comprehend what has just happened, the God coughs up blood and looks down at the wound that had been inflicted before he could even react. "H-How..." is the only word he can manage as Light pulls his hand from his chest. In it is the God's heart. That was the last thing the Lazy God saw before his eyes turned cloudy and he hit the floor, painting it yellow.
Yellow? Why's his blood yellow? Is it because he's a God? Some reptiles have green blood and certain monsters bleed blue. I suppose it doesn't really matter now.
"Light! That was amazing. When did you get that skill?"
"Just after killing the dragon... I-I mean... After 'accidentally' killing the Dragon."
Saying it like that doesn't help your case, buddy. I'm your master, remember? I sigh. "Never mind. All's well that ends well, especially seeing how my life didn't end today. Abi The Unkillable gets to live another day."
As I'm celebrating, the white walls begin to vibrate before they shatter revealing a never ending darkness behind them. The darkness doesn't scare me though and instead it welcomes me. As we fall down through it I close my eyes and let it envelop my body. it wrapped me up and caressed me gently, I close my eyes and open them again to find myself back in my tower.
Light is standing next to me smiling jovially. He must be proud as punch after taking down not only a dragon, but a God in the same day. Also the faint glow of evolution that was missing from reaching level 100 is now surrounding his body as it has done so many times already, only this time it's yellow instead of the familiar blue.
First things first though... "Don't tell anyone about what happened today. Got it?"... I've got to lay down the law. I don't need a big song and dance about what happened up there in the far reaches of wherever and the last thing I want is Noir pestering me for a shot at taking on a God.
Although, he probably already knows because of the whole connection thing.
If anything we were lucky that it was the lazy System's creator that came after us. I can't imagine how differently it would have gone if any other Gods had decided to intervene. It's also a good job that The System can continue functioning without him. Hopefully, there won't be anyone up there that will miss him and nothing else will come out of this.
That will smooth things over nicely.
Super Important Message:
You have defeated the physical embodiment of the Lazy God and have acquired his domain as a result
A new skill has been obtained:
Divinities' Domain Level 3
Congratulations, Abi
Or should I say, Master
"Gods damn it, System!"
Oops.
Better refrain from damning anymore Gods for the foreseeable future. Lest any of them try to drag me away again.
I'm a good Dungeon Core. I swear.
Wait a minute. Was he actually called The Lazy God? Or did you just name him that because it's what I was calling him?
Still no response?
You would think after calling me Master she might reply now, but that's still a fat no.
"Light, well done. Go relax because I'm going to sleep. Everything else can wait until tomorrow."
"Yes, Master." Light drops into the shadow below him and my head hits the pillow the moment after. Gods damn Dungeon Core problems. Where have my easy days gone?
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