"I swear to the Gods, I saw it!"

"Don't be silly. They're creatures of legend. Dungeons don't even spawn them anymore."

"But I did. I did! I swear on our Mary's life that I saw it."

"Like the time you said that you saw that guy fall through the shadows?"

"Exactly!"

"And that people are disappearing?"

"Yes! They are! Well... not so much anymore, but they definitely were."

"Buddy. How much time are you spending at Talia's? I know you have a thing for her, but are you still drunk?"

"Why don't you ever believe me?"

"Because you sound bat-shit crazy, Sam. That's why!"

"But I swear, Max. I swear I saw it. It was a treasure chest. Honestly. It had large-muscular arms and some creepy-little legs that shined like diamonds."

"That sounds like an expensively-hench chest."

"It's not funny, Max. It was creepy as fuck and the way it looked wasn't even the strangest thing about it."

"Go on then. You've reeled me in now and I'm a little bit curious. What was the strangest part?"

"..."

"Well? Don't tell me shit like that and then go quiet. What was it?"

"Well... you won't believe me, but... it stole a pair of my underwear, right off the line."

"Fuck off, Sam. Every time. Every-fucking-time!"

"Honestly, Max. It took 'em and ran."

"Bollocks. Why do I even listen to your shit? Stole your underwear. Do I look like a fool to you? Sometimes... fucking sometimes."

"Whatever, I saw a Mimic! I know I did."

"Yeah, yeah. I know it's your turn to get them in. I know that for a fact. It's an undeniable truth!"

"No. I got the last drinks. It's your turn."

"I don't think so. First the Mimic, now the ale? Do I really look like a fool?"

"First of all the Mimic was real. Second, we've only had one drink since we arrived and I bloody bought it."

"... So you did. I remember now. Sorry, I'll get 'em now. Mimics aren't real though."

"Yeah you will and yeah they are!"

Max gets the drinks in.

"Thanks."

"No worries. So, other than drunken escapades with diamond-legged chests, what else is new in the life of Sam Yuel?"

"I classed-up today."

"Really? Nice."

"Damn right! You're looking at a level 21 Shield Warrior now, baby. I can't believe there's finally a guild here."

"There were guilds here before, you clown."

"You know what I mean. I can't class-up anywhere other than the Adventurers Guild. You're lucky. The Mages Guild was established not long after we arrived. Jammy bastard."

"I suppose so. I'm almost level 30. Can you believe it?"

"Pfft... What?"

"Bro. Don't spray it at me. And yeah, level fucking 30. That means I can kick your ass if you do that again."

"Level 30! Wow. Makes no difference though. I'd still kick your ass in a fight with no magic, Max."

"Fuck you and your imaginary Mimic."

"It's not even funny now."

"It will be funny until it stops annoying you."

"What if I can prove it?"

"Prove it? How are you going to do that, Sam?"

"We could stake out my yard. That's where it appeared last night."

"We? When did it become a we? I don't remember agreeing to a we. A second ago it was a you who was going to prove it. I, on the other hand, don't need to prove shit."

"Come on, Max. Don't be like that, bro. We used to do stakeouts all the time back in Gorn. Remember?"

"Yeah, but that was for guard duty. Not to prove that you actually saw a legendary creature, or in this case were probably too drunk to know what you saw."

"So do it with me then. Let's stake it out. You never believe what I say anyway so even if I do see the Mimic again you won't believe me. It makes more sense to do it together."

"Fine. You're actually right. Plus, if I'm there we might have a shot at capturing it."

"Ha! Now you're the one being daft."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. When it turns up later, you'll see."

After a couple more rounds, a full bottle of Jacks and once the sun had set on the mountain town of Varona, Max could no longer dispute his friend's claim.

Sweat dripping off him, he sits with his back to the wall. Quiet as a mouse save from the clattering of his teeth and the rattling of his clothes. Uncontrollable shakes riddle his body as the pressure coming from outside makes him want to vomit.

To his left, Sam is no better off and is in exactly the same state as himself. He understands what his friend meant earlier on when he implied he was being daft. Any attempt made to subdue the strangely-beautiful creature would no doubt end in failure. The power that it was emitting was a tell tale sign of that fact.

But why and where did this creature come from? Why had no one reported it or was Sam the first person to notice? If he was, then were people really disappearing through shadows?

Max sat there contemplating life, death and his friend's now not-so bizarre claims, until the feeling of death pressing down on him started to fade. Sam sat there silently, also musing over the same thoughts as his friend. Only when the feeling had vanished completely did either man speak to the other.

"So..."

"So, what?"

"So you saw the Mimic, right?"

"I didn't see anything. I need to go home and get some sleep. I'm too drunk for this shit!"

"Max, you're paler than that perverted lady's hair. I know full well you saw it so why are you lying to me?"

"Listen mate. I like living here. I really do. It's been a long time since I actually enjoyed... living to be honest. In Gorn it felt like I was just... going through the motions, you know? But here, other than the last five minutes, everything is fucking wonderful. The women, the wine, even the weather is beautiful most of the time. I just... I don't wanna lose all this. Just because curiosity outweighed common sense. There's also a lot of what ifs flying around in my head right now and I don't really voice any of them."

Sam and Max

Ex-citizens of Gorn

Staring at my Mimic, I'm presented with a new challenge. On the bottom of Colin's trunk, stretched around his base with more holes than fabric to accommodate his legs, are a pair of boxer shorts. Where he got them, I have no idea and I don't even want to know.

I can't overlook this situation, much as I would like to, as it means he may have been outside the dungeon. Well, the mountain. I hope he hasn't left the dungeon land. It's not as though I have ever specifically told him he couldn't go outside, even after Me's harsh classification of the adorable drool machine. I just sort of assumed it was implied, but I do believe the time to have that conversation has come.

I hate these moments. I don't like telling people what to do, especially when they're so cute. At least Colin can't look offended or question my decisions. It'll make it a little easier.

Still awkward, but easier.

"Ok, cutie, listen up. I don't know where you got those from and I'm not even going to ask. Seeing as how there isn't panic and riots in the streets I'm assuming everything is ok. That said, you can't leave the mountain and you can't go to the goblin-filled floors either. Sorry babe."

Feeling like I've done a good job, I'm about to teleport away when the strange scale reaches new heights and evolves into the what-the-fuck meter when Colin replies.

"I'm like Assassins. No one see me."

The world's creepiest voice comes out of the King Mimic's maw and slightly gives me the chills. Not enough to scare me though, he's still number one on the cute chart. "Since when have you been able to speak? And why do you sound like death?"

"I learn." Colin's answer is short, sweet and straight to the point. It also reminds me of Peaches. The Pink Slime also had speech problems when she arrived, although some of that may have been brought on when she was swallowed whole by Trixie.

I'm in the position now where I don't have to worry as much as I did before. Doom and gloom are not the clouds that hang over this Core anymore. Gone are the days where Me reminds me of the ever-impending doom ready to rain down on a dungeon out of control.

Hell, at this point, control is the name of the game and it's what I'm vying for. Me spends his time indulging in delicacies at Ali's and keeping the adventurers occupied with monsters in the forest. He hasn't mentioned death in months.

Well, not mine anyway.

That said, what the fuck do I say to Colin?

'Me? You want to... come to the Core Room for a minute, please?'

Me arrives next to one of the regular Mimics. He pats its head and makes his way over to me and the larger, shinier chest in the room.

"Ok, I'm here. What's up?"

I don't know what to say, so I say the only word I can think of.

"Colin?"

Which is then answered by the creature in question.

"Yes. Master."

Me's mouth drops open before he glares at me something rotten. I'm pretty sure it's something to do with his 'Mimics are dangerous routine', but before he can voice that opinion I drop a crucial task on my trusting companion. "So Colin can speak now and I thought you two would get along well. You being the Mimic buff and all. Anyway lots to do. DP to spend. Gotta be off. See you later guys. Oh, Colin, tell Me where you got those shorts from."

With that I take my leave and disappear. As curious as I am as to where Colin ascertained his underwear from, I'd also rather not know if I'm being honest.