Since this morning I've been having a bad feeling in my gut.

"Oh boy, let's see what kinda fucked up situation awaits me in the next world!" (Me)

Janna and me stand inside of the reverse summoning circle. She already has everything packed for our departure, which makes it look more like we're going on vacation, instead of burning another branch of the big and evil organisation down.

"What do you mean, dear?" (Janna)

"You'll see. Believe me, you'll see." (Me)

I put Janna's bags inside of my inventory, which doesn't even surprise her the least bit, and put my hand on the ground.

Slowly but surely, I channel mana through the magic circle.

The colors of the hallway around me, start to spin and blend together. Soon, the familiar feeling of loosing consciousness overwhelms me once more.

It doesn't take long, until we're up on our feet and kicking again.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! PLEASE! SOMEONE! SAVE MEEE!" (Random villager #1)

"GOD! MY BABY! IT'S STILL INSIDE THE HOUSE!" (Random villager #2)

'Oh wow, what a surprise...'

I glance at Janna, who is watching the spectacle before us.

"Dear? Why is there so much fire?" (Janna)

"Maybe they're having a festival and they made a bonfire?" (Me)

"But why did they burn the whole village then?" (Janna)

"Maybe they needed a big bonfire?" (Me)

Screams resound around us, each one crying for help in one way or another.

"GOD! MY WIFE IS STILL INSIDE THE HOUSE!" (Random villager #3)

This girl is on fire~

'Quite literally.'

The village seems to be pretty beautiful, if you take all the fire away. A beautiful mountainscape in the background, around it gorgeous fields of flowers and fields for agriculture. It really gives off a feeling of wanting to settle down here.

'Without the fire.'

"PLEASE! GOD! HELP US!" (Random villager #4)

Right at the exact moment that that guy shouted his plead, an idea manifested inside of my head.

An idea, which is most likely one of my best ones so far yet.

'I'm a fucking genius.'

"Janna? Do you remember how I asked you, if you would like to become the wife of a guild master?" (Me)

"Yes! And I agreed immediately!" (Janna)

I smile at her with a happily.

"How about a promotion to the wife of a God?" (Me)

"Yes!... but what do you mean, dear?" (Janna)

She tilts her head cluelessly.

I jump about 20 meter into the air, and land on a mana platform.

"It's easier to show than to explain." (Me)

The huge mana pool inside of me activates on my demand. I pull out about 60% of my total mana, and spread it over the whole village.

'Easy chemistry question, Screeny. What is needed for a normal fire?'

Oxygen, heat and fuel. Did you drop out of elementary school?

'Completely right. And what happens if you suffocate the fire?'

I condense the mana, until it's a thin, but sturdy blanket.

Just do it. I want to see the aftermath.

The mana blanket engulfs the whole town, but lets the villagers pass through it.

The remaining oxygen inside of the blanket burns up. The fire stops immediately.

"Wh- what happened?" (Random villager #5)

I strengthen my vocal cords with magic, and shout as loud as I can.

'Which is pretty fucking loud.'

"YOUR PLEADS FOR SALVATION HAVE BEEN HEARD!" (Me)

Every single villager looks up to me.

"OH FAITHFUL VILLAGERS! IN YOUR TIME OF DIRE NEED, YOU HAVE STILL CLINGED ONTO BELIEF, AND FOR THAT, YOU SHALL BE REWARDED WITH SALVATION!" (Me)

Nearly all of the villagers become speechless, except of one.

"B- But who are you?!" (???)

I look at the woman who spoke up.

'Screeny?'

Face: 7; Body: 6.5; Cuteness: 4. Trash.

'What a shame.'

"I AM THE ONE WHO YOU ALL HAVE PRAYED TO!" (Me)

"Y- You mean-" (???)

"YES! FOR I AM GOD!" (Me)

In another realm.

"Little cunt, you ain't shit yet." (God)

Back to our MC.

The people look at me in disbelief.

"That boy is God?" (Random villager #6)

"But... I thought he would be more... epic." (Random villager #7)

'The fuck did that guy just say?! I put out a whole burning village in a matter of seconds. What else am I supposed to do?!'

I look around. Wounded people here and there. People griefing for their relatives, who are nearly dying.

'Alright, here it goes. Screeny? Ready for a new spell?'

Go for it. I bet someone has created the spell once before.

'I will call this... Heal barrage.'

I put my right hand up, and use another 20% of mana to create a sphere of "Life" magic on it.

"MY PEOPLE! THOU SHALT BE BLESSED BY ME!" (Me)

The green sphere ascends into the air and moves to the middle of the village, before bursting and raining down.

Each drop of it searches for someone wounded. The wounds slowly vanish on each and every one of the villagers, leaving them dumbfounded.

'So? How was it, Screeny.'

...

'Come on. Give me the message.'

No.

'You have one fucking job to do. GIVE ME THE MESSAGE!'

FUCK YOU!

Congratulations! You have created a new spell!

Would you like to name it?

'Heal barrage.'

Congratulations! You have created the spell "Heal barrage"!

Effect: You create a sphere of "Life" magic, which rains down on your allies automatically and heals them.

The duration and strength of the sphere depends on how much mana is used.

Ratio: 5% HP/20 MP

'HA, YOU LITTLE FAGGOT! I TOLD YOU I WOULD DO IT!'

WHAT KINDA CUNT WOULD BARRAGE AN AREA WITH HEALING MAGIC?!

'THE KINDA CUNT WHO JUST OWNED YOUR OMNISCIENT ASS! I'M A GENIUS!'

Just as everyone, except of the already dead ones, are healed, they all go an all fours, praising me.

'AND NOW I'M ALSO A GOD!'

I let the mana platform slowly descend on the ground.

"Raise your heads, my children. I only rewarded you for your loyalty to me." (Me)

"But what about the dead people? And why did you let the fire happen in the first place?" (Random villager #8)

"The ways of the lord are inscrutable." (Me)

HA! Nice one.

"But you are the lord yoursel-" (Random villager #8)

Janna appears, with her foot burying that guys face into the ground.

"LORD! WE THANK YOU FOR SAVING US!" (Janna)

Janna starts chanting.

"ALL PRAISE THE LORD!" (Janna)

The villagers follow.

"ALL PRAISE THE LORD!" (The villagers)

'NICE ONE, SISTER! Wait, how did the villagers understand her?'

In the midst of the chanting, I let my calm voice go through everyone's ears.

"Who is the village head here?" (Me)

The woman from before raises her hand.

"Here, my lord." (???)

"State your name, my child." (Me)

She raises herself up, and kneels in front of me, with her face 3 cm from my crotch away.

'Is she a hooker?'

I feel the sharp glance of Janna from behind me, and step one step back from her.

'I won't risk Janna, in exchange for a third rate hooker.'

"My name is Raska. Raska Mafu." (Raska)

As Screeny already described it, she's above average at best. The only special feature about her, is the golden hair. Everything else is completely unnoticeworthy.

"Follow me, Raska. I have something to tell you." (Me)

Her face breaks out in pure bliss.

'Damn, they really need to have been religious, for her to be so happy about talking with me.'

"Yes!" (Raska)

I take her behind a shed, the villagers in the background still chanting.

"I will do anything for free! You're special!" (Raska)

'I'm pretty sure she's a hooker...'

Why is the village chief a hooker?

'Maybe the entire village are hookers?'

Care to check it out?

'Nah, I have a religion to establish. But for that, I need at least one who knows the real me.'

"Are you a whore?" (Me)

The bliss escapes her face as fast as it appeared.

"I beg your pardon?" (Raska)

"A slut, hooker, prostitute, call-girl, member of the oldest profession." (Me)

Her confusion doesn't change.

"Do you fuck people for money?" (Me)

Her confusion clears up.

"Ah! Yes." (Raska)

"Alright, my first declaration is, that every girl in this village changes her profession to prostitute. At least every religious woman." (Me)

"...wat?" (Raska)

"For your information, that just now was all an act. I'm not a God yet, just a very strong boy." (Me)

"..." (Raska)

"And the girl, who started the chanting, is my sister. We came here, because there's most likely something evil, which threatens the world." (Me)

"..." (Raska)

Her mouth is wide open again, in disbelief.

"Come on, it's like I'm talking to a wall." (Me)

"Well, that was just disappointing." (Raska)

"My mother said the same when she gave birth to me." (Me)

A second of uncomfortable silence.

"See it positively. Since I picked you to spread my message, you can be considered a holy woman in this village from now on. And if you spread the religion, then you can become even more famous." (Me)

"And how am I supposed to spread the message of prostitution? It's not the most reputable profession..." (Raska)

I push my hand into my inventory, and pick out the first, random item.

Name: Staff of storms

Rank: Unique

Attack: /

Option: 1. If aimed at the sky, a hurricane will appear with the strength of a natural disaster.

Magic circles: Takes mana from the environment (None needed by the user)

'I guess that's enough.'

Yeah, just shrug a natural disaster off.

I point the staff at the sky for a second, and immediately cows and carts start moving towards it.

"Here. Tell everyone I gave you that, and they should believe in my strength." (Me)

I hand her trembling hands the staff.

'To be honest, I just wanted to make a fan with that staff. It was pretty hot this summer.'

"Now, to get to business. Who is the evil and what are they capable of." (Me)

She continues to stare at the failed attempt of a fan, with a blessed expression.

"Oi, I need information, or else this world will most likely get fucked." (Me)

She snaps out of it.

"Ah, yes, of course." (Raska)

She clears her throat.

"The most imminent danger, which also burned our village and stole our goods, is the bandit group from the mountains." (Raska)

"Great name." (Me)

"They don't have a name, since they're just a branch of a bigger organisation." (Raska)

"Let me guess. You don't know the name of that mysterious organisation." (Me)

'Man, I'm getting bored of calling it "the evil organisation"...'

"I actually do." (Raska)

"WHAT?!" (Me)

"The organisation they serve under-" (Raska)

Dramatic pause.

"-is called "Ark"." (Raska)

"That was way too disappointing." (Me)

"And the bandits from the mountains ride dragons." (Raska)

"WHAT?!" (Me)