"Welcome! Oh Heroes!" (???)

"This is gonna be fucking great." (Me)

The dustcloud disperses and an arena consisting of stone gets visible. It seems to hang over a giant hole, connected to the walls by multiple stone pillars.

Through the dustcloud also appears a girl in a white, wide dress. Her blonde hair looks like golden silk with deep, blue eyes. She stands at about 1.70 meters, so she's only a little bit smaller than me, but her proportions make up for it. A perfect hourglass figure, which is still visible through her dress.

'How the fuck does she have such a figure even though she's about as old as me?!'

"Heroes, I hath called thou hither, through dimensions, for one thing only! Thou shalt save this world from the imminent danger which will fall upo-" (Princess)

"Yeah, yeah, I know the gist already. Immininent doom, I am the chosen one and will save this world from the demon king. Listen, I think left the stove on. I'll be right back." (Me)

I teleport to the ceiling and stand on top of a mana platform to observe my surroundings. 

'1, 2, 3, 4... should be about 15 guards. Yep, none of them is even close to being a threat to me, except of the guy who seems to be the captain. He's about as strong as Aline... or rather Belka... maybe.'

I flick my fingers once more and reappear in front of the princess.

"I'm back." (Me)

The princess looks at me with a dumbfounded expression, not fitting her title at all. So are the other knights.

"May I ask what you did just now?" (Captain)

"Nope." (Me)

Silence takes over the crowd.

"Man, y'all can at least prepare a topic to talk about when you summon someone. This is just getting awkward..." (Me)

Still silence.

"Gotta do it myself then... Oh my god, where am I? This is not the place I was at just nooooow." (Me)

You're still gonna ask that, even though you know it already?

'If we have another cliché development, then you've gotta do it right.'

The princess snaps out of it and scans me from head to toe.

"Ah, yes. We have summoned thee, for you will save our world-" (Princess)

"Yeah, I already summarized that part. Immininent doom, I am the chosen one and will save this world from the demon king. Why don't we skip that and start right off with introductions?"

Once more, the princess seems to be stunned at my sudden rudeness.

'I love being the asshole.'

"Alright, I think I have to start this then." (Me)

I bow deeply.

"I am Yu Krifta, and I'll be your worst nightmare for the duration of my stay." (Me)

"Huh?!" (All of those fuckers)

"Come on, what kind of fucked up idea is that?! Taking someone from his peaceful home and then pushing him into the role of a hero?! That's kidnapping, you know? Y'all need to learn some manners..." (Me)

Y'ALL NEED JESUS!

The captain is the first one to realize what is going on and immediately pulls out his sword.

"And I'll be the one graceful enough to teach you some." (Me)

He seems to activate some kind of magic, since his sword begins to emit light like a fucking tesla coil, but that doesn't last for long.

"Sit." (Me)

I let my mana seep out into the environment, creating artificial pressure on all of them, to which they all need to kneel.

"Good boy. And also, you shouldn't use lightning against me." (Me)

I enhance my legs with my magic, and kick him right into a wall.

"WHA-" (Princess)

Once I blew some dust from my shoulder, I lessen the mana pressure, so the guy in the back could stop crying at least.

"Now then!" (Me)

A few sheets of paper appear from my inventory.

"Let's start with a few magic circles, shall we?" (Me)

"And done! These sheets can't be taken off by any person other than me and force you to obey me under any circumstances." (Me)

This time, I let my mana completely disperse, which makes the pressure go with it.

The guards and the princess stand up again, wobbly. Their faces show fear and anger directed at me.

"Why are you doing this?!" (Princess)

"A bit more polite, please." (Me)

"May I ask, why you have done such deed?" (Princess)

She looks surprised at her own sudden change in behaviour.

"Works perfectly, eh? Well then, to answer your question: Of course it's because I'm scared!" (Me)

"S- Scared?" (Princess)

"I was suddenly brought to another world! Unknown people! An unknown kingdom! Of course I'm scared! My first reaction would then be to seize control of the situation!" (Me)

"I- If you're so scared, then I can assure you, that we-" (Princess)

"Does the concept of sarcasm not exist in this world? OF COURSE I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED! I JUST KICKED YOUR STRONGEST MAN INTO THE NEXT FUCKING WALL!" (Me)

"So you really are evil! What do you want to do now?! Are you going to blackmail the king with his own daughter?! Are you going to join the evil forces?!" (Princess)

"What? No, I'm gonna fuck that demon king up." (Me)

'Except if my encounter luck triggers again...'

"Huh?!" (All of them)

"Listen. I never wanted to hurt you guys in any way-" (Me)

The princess points directly at the guy stuck in the wall.

"-well, except that guy. He pointed his sword at me, so there's nothing that can be done about that." (Me)

"What is your plan then?! Why did you enslave us?!" (Princess)

"My plan is to fuck those evil forces up." (Me)

"AND MAY I ASK WHY YOU ENSLAVED US?!" (Princess)

"First: That's only temporary. I didn't carve those magic circles directly into your body, so be grateful. Second: Why wouldn't I want the princess of a whole kingdom as a slave?" (Me)

Slience... again.

"Y'all need to step up with your conversation skills, cause silence is not a very good answer." (Me)

"A- And what are you planning on doing with us now?" (Me)

"You crying bitch over there!" (Me)

I point at the guy who cried when I applied the artficial mana pressure on everyone.

"Huh?! Me?! I DIDN'T CRY!" (Guard in the back who cried like a little bitch)

"Yes, you fucking did. John beside you saw it too." (Me)

"I kinda did." (The fuck? Is his name really John?)

"You go and call the king over. It's rude to have guests without greeting them personally." (Me)

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO-" (Guard in the back who cried like a little bitch)

"Find a way. And you, princess, will meanwhile tell me about all the bad things which seem to threaten your world." (Me)

"DON'T CALL ME PRINCESS ALL THE TIME! MY NAME IS-" (Princess)

"Don't care. I don't like you enough for you to be part of my harem. So? About the evil stuff?" (Me)

"Uuuuhhhh... fine!" (Princess)

The weeping bitch leaves the room to get the king and the princess starts to tell the story, which she seemingly already had prepared beforehand-

"What threatens us is an evil, which targets many worlds. It exists since-" (Princess)

-but fuck that, I already know all that.

"Yeah, yeah. It exists already for a thousand years. It's demons who threaten to eradicate all life and their leader is the demon king. Is there anything special about this story?" (Me)

"What? Demon king? No no no, the demon king was already defeated a few thousand years ago." (Princess)

"..." (Me)

HA! YOU STUPID FUCK! TRYING TO ACT ALL COOL BY PREDICTING SHIT, AND NOW IT'S NOT EVEN RIGHT!

'I will fucking eat our children, Screeny.'

*Your

'Nope. OUR!'

WHAT THE FUCK?!

"The threat, which is right now the case, is a certain organization. It seems to attack many worlds simultaneously in pursuit of their ressources and potential slaves." (Princess)

'Ohohohoho,I know where this leads to.'

"And let me guess, they also sometimes kidnap noble children for ransom or make them slaves, right?" (Me)

"Yes, but how did you know? Did you already encounter them?" (Princess)

"You could say that. And by the way, is the demon king really dead already?" (Me)

"There are rumours about his descendants, but they're after all just rumours. Why?" (Princess)

'Cause I wanna fuck a demon.'

"They might prove to be good allies." (Me)

*BANG!*

The door suddenly opens with extreme force.

"WHERE ARE THE WEREWOLVES FUCKING?!" (???)

"FATHER! PLEASE! NOT IN FRONT OF THE HERO!" (Princess)

"YOUR FATHER IS A FUCKING FURRY?! WHY IS EVERY SINGLE ADULT, WHO BELONGS TO NOBILITY, FUCKED IN THE HEAD?!" (Me)

In another dimension.

"YES! HARDER, MASTER!" (Former royal guard captain of a certain kingdom, who's also MC's father)

"I WILL RAM YOUR ASS LIKE THE TITANIC!" (A certain mother, who once belonged to the strongest in the royal military)

At another place in that same dimension.

"These corpses are already rock-hard, since rigor mortis occured. I wonder what I can do with them, fufu." (A certain big tittied noble woman, who appeared a few chapters ago)

"Madam, please restrain yourself while guests are over." (Butler)

Back to our MC.

'YES, I'M LOOKING AT YOU GUYS!'

But isn't liking catgirls also borderline furry?

'How fucking dare you.'

The king, who just now kicked the door open, looks around the room with expectation written on his face, only to see us and be disappointed.

"*Cough* Welcome, oh Hero, to our kingdom. I wish you a nice stay." (King)

He turns around to go away.

"I want your countries treasure, or else you won't be seeing your daughter ever again." (Me)

"Huh?" (King)

Once more, he turns around and looks at me with an aghast look on his face.

"Countries treasure? How did you know?!" (King)

"Every country has them. And since it's such a great opportunity right now, I want yours." (Me)

"I KNEW IT! YOU REALLY WANTED TO USE ME TO BLACKMAIL THE KINGDOM!" (Princess)

"I only refuted the part where you said that I wouldn't help y'all. I never said anything about the blackmailing." (Me)

The king's expression becomes even more panicky, when he heard his own daughter talk about the blackmailing.

"I WILL NEVER SURRENDER OUR COUNTRIES MOST IMPORTANT THING TO A THUG LIKE YOU!" (King)

"Say bye bye, princess." (Me)

"WHAT?! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?!" (Princess)

"To a certain other world." (Me)

*Clap!*

A magic circle, similar to the one which summoned me to this world, appears suddenly on the floor.

And activates.

"FATHER!" (Princess)

The world turns black for both of us.

Princess P.o.V

'What happened?'

My head still groggy from the sudden kidnapping, I stand up from the hard, wooden floor.

"Yu? Did you kidnap another girl?" (???)

"W- WHO WOULD CARE IF YOU BROUGHT BACK ANOTHER GIRL! I WOULDN'T!" (???)

"Anyather friend!" (???)

"Tch. Another enemy appeared." (???)

"Huh?" (Me)

"Shit, I need to know your name after all. Princess, introduce yourself to my little group." (Yu, the villain)

"HUH?!" (Me)

"Didn't you say that often enough today? Say your damn name." (Yu, the villain)

"Why do I not understand anything of what the others are saying?" (Me)

"...Oh... lol." (Yu, the villain)