Her swaying butt hypnotizes me until I feel a sharp pain in my side.

"What do you think you're looking at?" (Lydia)

"At your mother's ass? I would be surprised if it's something else." (Me)

"HOW ABOUT YOU STOP THAT?!" (Lydia)

"Mother does have a nice ass..." (Prima)

"PRIMA?!" (Lydia)

We look each other in the eyes again. With every passing second, our bonds only deepen.

Lydia's mother leads us through the extravagant halls covered in marble, to a room which is generally simply decorated. It's just 2 sofas with a table in between them, a few plants here and there and finally a red carpet covering the ground.

"Sit down, please." (Mother)

I do as she says and sit down with Lydia beside me. Prima and her mother sit opposite to us, creating 2 clear teams.

TEAM FLATCHEST VS. TEAM TITTIES!

'Would be weird if I wasn't flatchested...'

"Do you want tea?" (Mother)

"I would gladly take some." (Me)

Suddenly Lydia leans in on my ear and starts whispering.

"Since when can you be polite?" (Lydia)

I do the same in return.

"If you try to insult me one more damn time, you'll be naked the next time you come here." (Me)

"..." (Lydia)

"That's what I thought. And anyways, what am I here for? I'm kinda in the dark here." (Me)

Lydia hesitates before she answers quietly.

"My parents want to marry me off and I used you as a cover. I told them that I chose you as my future husband, so I wouldn't have to marry some sleazy, fat noble." (Lydia)

"So the usual, gotcha. Leave it to me." (Me)

I distance my face from Lydia's ear and look at her mother: A slight hinge of seriousness washes over me.

"Oh my, you two seem to be rather close?" (Mother)

"Well, I do plan on taking your daughter's hand in marriage soon, so we ought to be at least this familiar with each other." (Me)

Lydia beside me blushes into a scarlet shade, even though she herself initiated this play of house.

"Fufu, how bold. So you know what the situation is?" (Mother)

"Briefly, but yes." (Me)

"Then you know why I need to have a talk with you?" (Mother)

"Perhaps, because you want to evaluate me and how I can contribute to your family?" (Me)

Her mother keeps smiling at me.

"Magnificient! Then let's start this little interview of mine!" (Mother)

She fixes her posture a bit. A butler, who seems to have heard us just now, brings us tea, which is left untouched by all of us, leaving the fragrance sway in the room.

"So to start this off: I didn't quite know your name yet." (Mother)

"I think it's common courtesy to introduce yourself first, isn't it?" (Me)

She smirks at my response, which may have seemed a bit rude, but confident nontheless.

"Fufu, of course. How rude of me. My name is Nia Kwas. My maiden name is Nia Beppelin." (Mother)

YOU CHOSE THAT NAME ON PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU AUTHOR?! YOU TORE UP THAT HOLE IN MY HEART AGAIN!

(Author's note: Nia is best girl.)

'So you've gone over to the dark side...'

"Very well. My name is Yu Krifta." (Me)

In response to my name, her eyes suddenly widen.

"Krifta? Could you be the son of Boris Krifta? The renowned former royal guard captain? Who was able to slay dragons with one slash?" (Mother)

At a village in the woods.

"PLEASE MASTER! HARDER!" (Father)

*WHIP!*

"I'LL RAM YOUR ASS UNTIL YOU CAN'T SIT FOR ANOTHER 12 WEEKS!" (Mother)

Back to our MC.

"I... I guess so?" (Me)

He changed quite a lot, huh?

"Fufu, you might fit better in our family than I thought." (Mother)

"I hope so." (Me)

She sips from her tea, showing that she's a bit more relaxed now and Lydia does the same.

"So, how did the two of you meet?" (Prima)

"*SPIIIT!* HOW WE MET?!" (Lydia)

Lydia gets even more flustered than she already was.

"EEUUUHHH, WE JUST MET BY COINCIDENCE! IT WAS FATE! YEAH!" (Lydia)

"That doesn't sound suspiscious at all." (Prima)

Prima stares at her little sister with an intense gaze.

At that moment, I intervene.

"Let's just say, you helped a lot Prima." (Me)

Only a second of thought is needed before she gets what I'm implying.

Another thumbs up shows that.

I think I'm losing my position as your biggest bro here.

(Author's note: We already told you, you're gonna be a girl. You're his best sis at best.)

SHADDAP!

'I wonder if I can somehow upload her brain to replace your system?'

YOU'RE A CUNT AS WELL! ( ༎ຶ Д༎ຶ`)

The interview continues.

She asks for my goals in the future, to which I answer.

She asks for my relationships with the other girls, which I skillfully dodge.

And her last question finally comes, after 2 hours full of serious answering.

"When will my grandchild be born?" (Mother)

"Yeah, I want a cute, little nephew." (Prima)

"THAT WON'T HAPPEN ANY TIME SOO-" (Lydia)

"It'll take about 3 more years, at max." (Me)

"Why am I even surprised at that?" (Lydia)

The other team puts on a satisfied expression. The tea has long turned cold, but they still chug it down in one go. After putting the cup down with a satisfied smile, her mother leaves the room with only a few words.

"See you tonight." (Mother)

'WHAT?!'

"Yeah, see you later." (Me)

"WHAT?!" (Lydia)

The double-door closes with a loud clank, leaving us dumbfounded, except of Prima... and I just hide it like an expert.

"*Sigh* Finally she left. So? What is it that you want to ask?" (Prima)

"Ask?" (Lydia)

"He isn't the type of guy who would just stroll in here without a reason. And I don't think there was anything of interest in here, other than me, right?" (Prima)

An undescribably happy smile makes it's way through my face.

"You're just fucking perfect! You really do understand me, don't you?!" (Me)

Prima smirks at my sudden happiness.

"I guess you want to get some information about the reincarnated?" (Prima)

"Huh? Reincarnation?" (Lydia)

"So you do know something." (Me)

I force myself to calm down from my euphoria.

"Yeah. I want to know why the gods seem to have reincarnated multiple people into this world. I don't think that they've done it out of good will. I don't trust them nearly enough for that." (Me)

Prima falls into thought for a second, before continuing to smile at me.

"You know, you're pretty lucky. If you went to any other of the chosen ones, then you wouldn't have gotten any information." (Prima)

"Chosen ones?" (Lydia)

"Oh fuck off, don't even try to use terms which I don't understand yet. Only cunts do that." (Me)

"WOULD SOMEONE ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTIONS?!" (Lydia)

"Lydia, watch your language." (Prima)

"..." (Lydia)

'Damn, a sulking Lydia is really the best Lydia.'

"So what do you want to know Lydia?" (Me)

"Well, first I want to know why you're interested in these reincarnated." (Lydia)

"I'm one myself. Anything else?" (Me)

"WAIT WHAT?! YOU LIVED IN ANOTHER WORLD BEFORE?!" (Lydia)

"I did as well." (Prima)

"WHAT?!" (Lydia)

"Come on Lydia, don't be such a drama queen." (Me)

You know, that's a completely normal reaction.

Yes it is, master. I was surprised as well when I first heard of it.

'Pff, weaklings.'

Suddenly, a bird lands on Prima's shoulder. White feathers and black eyes make him look pretty boring, but 3 legs work against it well.

"Let me guess. Your familiar?" (Me)

"You're god damn right." (Prima)

"Hi." (Bird)

"DID THE BIRD JUST SPEAK?!" (Lydia)

"Would you quiet down Lydia? I'm sitting right beside you. I can hear you loud and clearly." (Me)

"But... but... there's just so much that I'm realising about you two now... I don't even know if I really know you anymore..." (Lydia)

Lydia seems to be on the verge of tears from realising that the two people, she's the closest to, seem to have kept a lot secret from her.

I put my hand on top of her head and ruffle it up a bit.

"Wha- STOP!" (Lydia)

"I'm still the type of guy you think I am. Nothing has changed. You just know a bit more about me now." (Me)

Aww, that's so sweet... yOu jUsT kNow A bIT mORe aBOuT mE nOW

'You're just jealous that you can't conquer her, aren't you?'

...No (ಥ﹏ಥ)

"Y- yeah, you're right, aren't you? There are still a lot of things I need to learn about you..." (Lydia)

"Yep, so calm down Lydia and stop being a crybaby. You're 14 for god's sake." (Me)

"YOU-" (Lydia)

"What the hell did you summon me for, Prima? I'm pretty damn busy, and you fucking know that." (Bird)

"What an interesting fella." (Me)

"Fuck off." (Bird)

A ray of lightning shoots past him.

"You missed." (Bird)

"Next time I won't." (Me)

"Why are you arguing with a bird?" (Lydia)

'She's actually right about that.'

Prima pulls out a cracker and gives it to the bird, to which he chirps satisfied.

"You're here so you can tell this guy right here, what you told me 17 years ago." (Prima)

"You could've just fucking told him yourself." (Bird)

"Yeah, but getting it told by a bird is a totally different thing, you know?" (Prima)

"Fuck.... alright. But first, a fucking introduction is fucking needed." (Bird)

The bird sits down on her shoulder.

"I'm Tenke, a minor god. I represent knowledge and good harvest." (Bird)

"Cool. I'm Yu. I represent being a cunt." (Me)

"That fits way better than it should..." (Lydia)

"You're naked the next time you come here." (Me)

"WAIT A MINUTE PLEASE! I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!" (Lydia)

"Stop your fucking useless gibberish. I'm about to drop some knowledge on you." (Bird)

No one answers him.

"Good. So as a god-" (Bird)

"Minor god." (Me)

"-I know a bit of what the bigger gods are up to. And essentially they're recruiting soldiers with potential by letting them come to a random planet and train there, until they reach a level where they can ascend to a celestial being. After that they get roped into one of the factions and serve them from then on, helping them in the war against the other factions in pursue of the only, ultimate faction." (Bird)

"Wait, so all the celestial beings had to train to become like that? So they were human before, right?" (Me)

"Yeah." (Bird)

A smile creeps up on my face.

'That means they can be manipulated.'

"And what's the deal about the factions?" (Me)

"Every god, who is known well enough, is in one faction for a variety of reasons. They get certain advantages, like legendary items and shit, to help them get even stronger. They then are able to choose who they want to reincarnate under their "aspect". The aspect is, as I mentioned before, the fucking thing they represent. Those reincarnated get buffs which help them get stronger faster. Your buff changes dependently on which aspect you were born under." (Bird)

Suddenly, the old man comes to my mind.

My smile only widens.

"But there is one god who's an exception, isn't there?" (Me)

The bird tilts his head at my sudden assumption.

"Yes, there fucking is, and you shouldn't fuck with him. The Omni-God. The all-father. He is the one who created all, but even he was only human before." (Bird)

'So he was human too, huh?'

"For your information, I was born under Tenke's aspect when he was still strong enough to reincarnate others." (Prima)

"When he "was"?" (Me)

"Yeah, those other fuckers made me fall. Once you die as a god, there is a chance that you'll just fall to a lesser state. Or you just die off completely." (Bird)

I think about what I just heard deeply.

"All those factions and shit. So it's just a religious war on a much bigger scale?" (Me)

"Yeah." (Bird)

My smile now widens until it could be considered grotesque.

"My final question: Is it possible to create your own faction?" (Me)

The bird seems to break out in sweat.

"U- under circumstances it is. But it would go against the will of the other gods heavily, since they won't allow a new faction to form. Why do you want to know that?" (Bird)

I stand up and walk towards the door with Lydia in hand.

"Aren't you a god of knowledge? I think you should be able to guess that." (Me)

"You're a fucking lunatic. You can't just oppose the rest of the celestial beings. Who do you think you are?!" (Bird)

I glance behind my back for a second.

"The one who is gonna fuck up this order that has been established." (Me)

"Yeah sure, just go against those godly beings. I won't stop you, but don't count me in on that." (Lydia)

"What do you mean? Of course you're going to accompany me on this journey and stay by my side forever." (Me)

"This shouldn't make me happy." (Lydia)

"But it does." (Me)

"NO IT DOESN'T!" (Lydia)

And with that I close the door, leaving Prima and her rude bird behind.