"Buhi?" (Fat prince)

The fat, royal bastard just sits there, half naked with disgusting, smelly sweat dripping all over the place.

"He's got a fat ass too, but I like that boy's better." (Deep voice from the audience)

"HE'S GOT WHAT?! Wait a second, I gotta clear something up." (Me)

'Author, we can't just start a chapter like that. The start of a chapter has to be a bit more smooth. You can't just fucking do it like that.'

(Author's note: You're gonna fuck your own twin sister as the story progresses. Don't you fucking tell me what's appropriate to write and what's not.)

'Point taken.'

"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON! IMMEDIATELY!" (Fat prince)

I kick him in the back, making him fall down like the fat piece of lard he is.

"Shut up, your life will be decided here." (Me)

"BUHI?!" (Fat prince)

I take the sassy bitche's hand and pull her up, so she stands beside me. We both face the audience hand in hand, giving us the image of being allies.

"Tch!" (Janna)

'Just ignore it now and reward her later.'

"This man! This man, who has been so cruel to us all! This man, who kidnapped the children of the Ice giants! This man, who took her little brother hostage! This man, who inevitably made you all suffer death! This man now stands in front of you! And I ask you! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH HIM?!" (Me)

The fat prince looks around hysterically, seemingly searching for someone or something. But the audience doesn't give him the time to find it.

"IT WAS HIS FAULT?!" (Audience member #4658)

"RIP HIM APART!" ((Audience member #4565)

"TWIST HIS NIPPLES AND LET HIM STEP ON LEGOS!" (Audience member #545)

'Okay, you're going a bit far there, buddy.'

"I wonder what that ass tastes like." (Deep voice from the audience)

'Someday, I will make him suffer.'

Just as the audience wants to massacre him, the fat prince turns to me and looks at me with pleading eyes.

"What did I do to deserve this? I haven't done anything wrong!" (Fat prince)

I look at him. I. just. look. at. him.

"You're not fucking serious right now, are you?" (Me)

He looks back at me.

"Of course you are. LET ME FUCKING QUOTE!" (Me)

*Clears Throat*

"Bring me his companions. I want to see their faces after I break them! *Slurp*" (Me)

"That wasn't-" (Fat prince)

"Buhihihi! I look forward to how those little girls taste! *Slurp*" (Me)

"I mean-" (Fat prince)

"And we're still leaving out the assassins you sent to kill me before this match!" (Me)

"But how did you-" (Fat prince)

"The prime minister's magic circle also worked later as a bugging device. Did I forget to mention that?" (Me)

"BUT WE HEALED-" (Fat prince)

"Doesn't work that easily. Even if you heal the scars, there will still be a remaining trace of mana which then functions as a magic circle." (Me)

"HOW ABOUT YOU LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE, YOU INSOLENT PEON!" (Fat prince)

"How about fuck you? CONTINUE THIS PARTY!" (Me)

The crowd continues running, but then the royal bastard suddenly shouts something peculiar.

"HELP ME, BROTHER!" (Fat prince)

'Why can't they just shut up for once and die peacefully? And who the fuck is his brother this time?'

My inner question is answered just as I wonder about it.

"Euh... yeah... I'd rather not." (Commentator)

The Commentator, who didn't leave yet since announcing my win, is seemingly the brother he speaks of.

"Whaaaaaat? You're not a normal Commentator, but someone way more important? That's such a surpriiiiiise." (Me)

"This is the first time I heard you speak in such a dead voice. It's quite appealing, fufu ." (???)

"Did you just say that a dead voice is appeal-" (Me)

"WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME?!" (Fat prince)

"Euh... you're... a daft cunt... to be honest... yeah." (Commentator)

'I'm kinda starting to like this guy.'

The fat prince falls into complete despair at the face of death.

Snot and tears start to run down his face, making him even more unsightly.

"DO- DON'T YOU DARE HURT ME! M- MY FATHER WON'T ALLOW THIS!" (Fat prince)

"I won't lay a single finger on you! I wouldn't even go as far as breathing the same air as the glorious prince!" (Me)

I notice how the mob is slowly losing patience.

"But those guys. They're gonna have some fun." (Me)

"BUHIIIIIIII!" (Fat prince)

"LET'S GET THIS SHIT ROLLING!" (Me)

Teleporting out of the mob's way, I let them do whatever they want to him.

"NO! PLEASE!" (Fat prince)

I hear clothes being ripped and flesh being torn. Screams echo through the arena, which signal my win over a part of the royal family.

I, as nice as I am, hold my cute, little Belka's ear shut, so she won't be corrupted by something like that.

And under constant screams, the final announcement is made.

"Euh... tournament is over... the team of the human capital won." (Commentator)

The crowd cheers... while still ripping apart the fat prince.

'What a fun day.'

Just as I wanted to return to my own group, the sassy bitch starts talking with me.

"I hope you didn't forget your part of the deal?" (???)

"Tch, you didn't even do as much as I wanted you to do." (Me)

"Did you forget that you nearly choked me to death?" (???)

"Ah, right... that happened. Fine, for helping me in fucking the prince over, I owe you a favor." (Me)

"Fufu, well then, I guess this is a goodbye." (???)

"Wait a second." (Me)

"Hm?" (???)

Her raven-black hair flutters, as she turns around to face me again.

"What's your name?" (Me)

For a second, she looks at me stunned with her red eyes.

"Right, I recall that I never have told you that, have I?" (???)

"I wouldn't ask otherwise." (Me)

"My name is-" (???)

And then she gets swallowed up by darkness.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE THAT CHICK! SHE IS THE FIRST ONE WHO WON AGAINST YOU WITH SASS!

'I wouldn't be so sure about that.'

The next day.

The awards ceremony is held inside of the arena with a huge podium. The only ones who are to be awarded, are the first to third place.

Thunderous cheer rings through the arena. No one seems to care that yesterday one of the royals was brutally slaughtered here, but that is only to my advantage.

And finally, it is my turn.

"SINCE THE ANNOUNCER SEEMS TO BE ABSENT, I'LL BE TAKING HIS JOB!" (Me)

The crowd gets louder as I start speaking.

'Seems like my plan of building up reputation worked.'

"WE'RE GATHERED HERE, TO CELEBRATE THE END OF THE TOURNAMENT AND THE WINNERS!" (Me)

"Didn't he say that he's shy in front of crowds?" (Lydia)

"I quote Master: "Shut up, Lydia"." (Chicken)

'I'm so proud of you, chicken.'

Always at your service, Master.

While Lydia goes on a rampage, I continue my announcement.

"THE GLORIOUS FIRST PLACE WAS TAKEN BY NONE OTHER THAN THE TEAM OF YU KRIFTA, JANNA KRIFTA, BELKA KOT, LYDIA KWAS, ESTELLE KYLTJA AND ALINE EISENHAUS!" (Me)

Applaus suddenly emerges.

'That's right. Y'all better be fucking clapping.'

"THE SECOND PLACE WAS TAKEN BY NONE OTHER THAN-" (Me)

I look to my right, and-

"Who do we have here? Such a coincidence to see you here again!" (Me)

"..." (???)

-there stands the sassy bitch.

"Such a shame that I can't announce your name right now. Won't you tell the audience yourself?" (Me)

She hesitates, which is pretty unusual for her, since sass doesn't take time normally. But then:

"...Celeste...von Primberg..." (HA! IT'S FUCKING CELESTE AND NOT THOSE FUCKING QUESTION MARKS!)

"IT WAS TAKEN BY CELESTE VON PRIMBERG! DID Y'ALL HEAR?! IT'S CELESTE VON PRIMBERG! DO Y'ALL NEED PAPERS AND PENCILS TO WRITE IT DOWN?!" (Me)

'WHO WON NOW, HUH SCREENY?!'

Fuck off

The cheering this time is a bit less, but the cries of pity are way louder, probably still because of the story with her and her brother.

"And the third place goes to a team who no one cares about." (Me)

No cheering. Dead silence.

That's just sad.

"THE PRIZES WILL NOW BE DISTRIBUTED! THE WINNERS CAN CHOOSE FROM A BUNCH OF PRIZES, WHICH ARE THE FOLLOWING!" (Me)

In front of our podium is a table, which is covered by a plain cover.

But this cover is now thrown away with one movement.

And then, a smile covers my face.

'Screeny?'

What u want

'Aren't you also wondering what lies beyond those 99% affinity?'

I'm part of an omniscient being. I know what lies beyond that, you dickhead.

'...Why didn't you tell me then?'

I'm a sarcastic cunt, that's why.