Is it... is it time?

'Do you think they're ready for it?'

I don't know... can you really be prepared for it? It's always very hard to deal with...

'But this would be the perfect time to do it. Tension has been built up in the last chapter and now we have to cool the audience off a bit.'

Then it really is time...

'It's time for a SIDESTORY!!!'

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN

On a certain planet, far far away-

"Fufu, it really is a nice day, isn't it?" (???)

"You just... but the sidestory..." (Me)

(Author's note: Ain't gonna happen today, bud.)

"Nevermind that then..." (Me)

Once again, and for the last time, me and my group are rowed up in front of our opponent with the sassy bitch standing directly opposite of me. Her black parasol is sucking up the sunlight like a black hole, throwing a shadow on myself. On her side no one's face can really be made out, since all of them are wearing coats which cover their whole body.

"Yeah, really nice day. Just one question: Why those coats again?" (Me)

The sassy rival puts on a naive smile.

"I don't know what you mean? Why shouldn't they be wearing coats, fufu?" (???)

"It's like, at least, a scorching 45°C out here in the sun." (Me)

"Help." (Guy directly to her right)

"See?" (Me)

She just glances over to the pitiful guy for a second, and immediately looks back to me.

"That's just a little trick which prevents you to look at their statuses. He'll be cooled down soon anyways." (???)

"Great, so you really know a way of looking at other peoples statuses." (Me)

A smile appears on her face. Just as she was about to say something, Lydia intervenes.

"Status? That's the ability you have as well, right? What does that have to do with him being hot and soon being cooled down?" (Lydia)

"She knows your Ice affinity because of her version of "status" and you're going to be his opponent then apparently. Hence, he'll be cooled down. Lydia, you really need to learn how to take a clue. A grade schooler could've put that together." (Me)

Lydia looks at the ground, pouting at her being once again teased.

I pat her on the head to cheer her up a bit.

"Anyways, you wanted to say something?" (Me)

"Fufu, yes that is so. I just wanted to make sure that you haven't forgotten our deal?" (???)

My group of girls looks at me collectively with a perplexed look.

"Come on, not in front of the kids! That will spoil the surprise!" (Me)

Her smile continues but she doesn't respond.

"Don't ignore my joke!" (Me)

Just as I wanted to rant about how unpolite it is to not respond it is if someone talks to you, the Commentator's voice resounds from his booth above.

"Euh... so this round is the final one. The last 2 teams are... humans? I think?" (Commentator)

"You literally just have to look down a second to see it." (Me)

"Euh... yeah I think they're humans. So... they're gonna fight." (Commentator)

"Incredible commentator skills, as always" (Me)

I strech out my hand in an attempt to shake the rival's hand. It may be unusual of me, but I'm at least polite.

HA! POLITE?! IN THE LAST ROUND YOU BROKE SOMEONE'S NOSE BECAUSE HE INTERRUPTED YOU!

'That's because he was impolite. It's really not that difficult Screeny.'

Wtf no? That doesn't make sense anyways!

'YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!'

"Fufu, so you want to really shake hands with me?" (???)

She, as well, stretches her hand out, but just as she nearly reached mine-

"What do the young children say? I think it was "psyche"?" (???)

-she pulls it away and is swallowed up by darkness.

"Now that was just lame." (Me)

'But exactly what I wanted.'

Don't act like you have a plan.

'I'm a genius and always have a plan.'

Oh, sorry then. Seems like I watched over the wrong person the last 14 years. Silly me.

'You can't even do your only job right. You're pretty much useless...'

Out of my inventory, I pull out a special kind of paper. A little scribbling later, I place it on the ground where the ball of sass stood before.

I follow the routine of going back to our side of the arena and then the countdown of the commentator begins.

"Euh... start..." (Commentator)

Or it doesn't...

"PREPARE YOURSELVES!" (Guy who stood beside the ball of sass just now)

With one quick movement, the coats from the enemy team fly off and-

"WHAT THE FUCK?! PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (Me)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-their whole bodies get revealed.

"OH FUCK! MY STOMACH! IT HURTS! DID I STUMBLE INTO THE WRONG DOOR AND ENTER A GOTH RAVE OR WHAT?!" (Me)

Yu, check this out

'What?'

BOOP

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK I'M DYING!" (Me)

As you probably can already guess, their outfit consist of... well... look at the gif above. There isn't really much to say.

"Wh- why is he laughing?" (Guy who stood beside the ball of sass just now)

"WHY I'M LAUGHING?! Listen here. The girl over there, she has class with all the frills and shit. You on the other hand look like clowns going through their emotional times." (Me)

"Clowns?! These clothes are cool!" (Guy who stood beside the ball of sass just now)

"Wait, don't tell me that these clothes really are trendy right now? Lydia?" (Me)

"This is actually considered as stylish." (Lydia)

"This world is fucking lost, damn." (Me)

These words apparently signaled the start for the other team. They all suddenly rush over to me, some with incredible speed, and some are rather slow, but their target is certainly me.

"And this is where you fucked u-" (Me)

I could've said that, but you know that it doesn't work that way. Of course a certain bitch interfered.

"Shackles of darkness." (???)

"Wow, so even you call out your attacks? I expected better from you." (Me)

From her stretched out hand fly 4, black rings towards me. They each bind themselves to my limbs and tie me to the floor.

"THIS IS FOR MAKING FUN OF US!" (Guy who stood beside the ball of sass just now)

"If y'all wanted to tie me up and have your way with me, you could've just asked. I would've agreed instantly." (Me)

"I WON'T ALLOW IT!" (Aline)

The 5 guys, who were just about to hammer me down, get blown away by one blow with Aline's warhammer.

"Didn't say that she would tho." (Me)

Name: Strengthening, giant Hammer of the tigress

Rank: Legendary

Attack: 2800

Option: 1. Boosts strength by 200%

2. If injected with mana, size can be enlarged

3. If a holder of a feline life essence is holding this hammer, then following effect will occur: Weapon can be used as a medium to channel the essence (Effect of channeling may vary dependent on essence); Effectiveness is boosted by 80%

Magic circles: After every hit, a small explosion will occur in exchange of some mana;

Durability: 5600/5600

Description: If you don't like a person, then bash them in the head with it. They won't like it, guaranteed by the man who made this weapon.

"Hurts like shit." (Yu Krifta)

'Don't ask me how I did that description, dear reader. Just let the magic sink in.'

"Why are you interfering?!" (Guy who stood beside the ball of sass just now)

"What the fuck kinda question is that?!" (Me)

"But the little girls really shouldn't be interfering, fufu." (???)

The sassy rival pulls out a black whip out of thin air. She pulls her arm back and whips at Aline.

*Crack!*

The sound of shackles breaking resounds through the air.

I teleport in front of Aline and catch the whip mid air with my bare hands.

"Now now, the grown up shouldn't fight against little girls, right?" (Me)

A sense of bloodlust starts gushing out from the sassy bitch, but she surpresses it right away.

"Do you really want to start this?" (???)

I sense an ominous mana from the whip and let it go before my hands get infected by it.

The rival smiles.

'I definetly caught some kind of disease just now.'

"No? Not really?" (Me)

"WOULD YOU STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ALREADY?!" (Lydia)

"I guess she has a point. BUT HOW ABOUT WE MAKE THIS A BIT MORE INTERESTING?!" (Me)

"I should've known that he wouldn't let it end like this..." (Lydia)

First, I move everyone, except of the rival, with a warphole, in a pair of two. Then I grab my forearm and for the first time one of my new spells activates.

"SPATIAL DOMAIN!" (Me)

'I shouted the name of my ability! Am I now one of the cool kids?'

U still a lil bitch

'And you don't really exist. Which is worse?'

The lil bitch

'Fuck you.'

"For my masterplan to work, I of course, have to explain what my ability does, right?" (Me)

"No, you don't!" (Lydia)

"Spatial Domain is a spell from the space attribute-" (Me)

"What a surprise!" (Lydia)

"I'll throw you through the air again." (Me)

*Silence*

"That's what I thought. Anyways, Spatial Domain is a spell from the space attribute. It allows me to make areas, where I can control space fully and time to a certain extent! Awesome, right?" (Me)

*Silence*

"Y'all don't have any class. The gist of it is, that you won't be able to escape from my artificial arena of space and you'll be having duels there. Any questions?" (Me)

"Why are you suddenly making new rules?" (Lydia)

"Cause I want to. Any others?" (Me)

*Silence*

"No? Nice. Well then, IT'S TIME FOR A D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!" (Me)

'SCRATCH ANOTHER ONE FROM THE LIST SCREENY!'

Was I supposed to keep track of that?

'YOU ARE THE MOST USELESS BUNCH OF PIXELS I'VE EVER SEEN!'