《A Fool fooling around in another world》Who doesn't love arrogant elves?
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"Yeah, I'm back." (Me)
From torturing one of the most important persons in this country.
'You can't really call that torture! That was a little bit of teasing at most.'
If that was considered teasing, then I don't even want to imagine what you're gonna do to those girls when you turn 16...
'Haha yeah... I'm gonna fuck them till they break.'
While we're talking about fucking: What are you planning to do for the night?
'What do you mean?'
Well, you destroyed those beds, so you guys will have to sleep in one bed.
'I know. Good plan, right?'
But what then?
'What?'
You are going to sleep in one bed, but you promised yourself not to fuck them till you're 16, since you hate Shotaporn.
'I...'
You didn't think about that, did you?
"Excuse me, but your match starts in a few minutes. Please go to the preparation rooms." (Cute servant)
"Oh, looks like it's our turn already. Let's go guys." (Me)
You can't just ignore me in hope of me forgetting that.
'I'm pretty sure that I can.'
While switching rooms, I notice that there is still a question open.
'Is the king actually gonna attend?'
I guess so. After all the Prime minister was sent by him.
'Yeah, but why would someone as important as him actually take a few days off just to watch some kids fight?'
He could be a pedophile, Holmes?
'Good point Watson. The former royal guard captain is a hardcore masochist too, so that wouldn't suprise me even one bit.'
"Yu? Wake up! The fight is gonna start soon." (Aline)
I snap back to reality and see that we already arrived. The preparation room is just the caged, bland room in which the gladiators would wait for their turn to come.
"Oh, thanks. There is just something that's bugging me, that's all." (Me)
"Bugging you? Oh, is it the fact that there are so many people watching you and every single mistake you make? You don't have to worry about that." (Aline)
"I wasn't even worried by that. I even forgot that.'' (Me)
'But now I remembered it and boy, am I worried now. Damn, why did the hate for big crowds have to transfer too when I reincarnated. Oi, God. Can't you do something about that?'
In another realm.
"Why the fuck should I? Considering how overpowered I made you, I love to see you struggle for once." (God)
"ACHOO!" (Me)
"Yu? Did you catch a cold?" (Aline)
'What the fuck is this? Japan?! If that shitty God just talked shit about me, then I swear to Christ, I'll whoop his ass.'
In another realm.
"Fight me." (God)
"Euhh... so on the left is the team from the human capital school... yeah." (Commentator)
"OI CUNT! I GAVE YOU A ROPE! USE IT" (Me)
"Euhh... on the other side is the royal team from the elven continent... God do I really have to do this?" (Commentator)
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The gate opens from both teams.
"Hmpf, so we have to fight against these peasants? I don't want to dirty my beautiful hands with their filth." (Elf #1)
"By the holy forest, an Elf is on their team! What has such a beauty come to?" (Elf #2)
Out of the other side's room come 4 male and 2 female Elves, each of them could be considered as beautiful by normal standards.
"Oh? But that boy can be considered as a treasure among humans. He doesn't look half bad." (Female Elf #1)
"Oh, so you're gonna play the obnoxious royal cunts, huh? I already wondered when they would appear." (Me)
"ROYAL CUN- *cough* As expected of such a lower lifeform. Only brutish words come from your mouth. You can't hold a candle to how elegant our race is." (Elf #3)
"Oh my, I guess I have to discipline you. Maybe we could meet up later, human?" (Female Elf #2)
"Yu?" (Janna)
"What?" (Me)
"Are they also considered as my future sisters in-law?" (Janna)
"Hmm... no. I don't like their attitude, and we already have an Elf." (Me)
"Then leave those two to me." (Janna)
Janna pulls out 2 knives out of seemingly nowhere and her bloodlust increases until the point where I could taste it.
"But those girls aren't bad as well, are they?" (Elf #1)
"I guess so? Maybe we could later get them to service us?" (Elf #4)
"Leave those 4 to me." (Me)
'No one touches my Heroines.'
As per the rules, we meet up in the middle of the arena and shake our hands. Reluctant, but we still do it.
"Oi, cunts. I won't try to miss your face." (Me)
"Didn't you want to say that you'll try to miss their faces?" (Lydia)
"I fucking know what I said." (Me)
"HA! If you ever manage to hit us! I'll let you know that we don't even need 10 seconds for our spells!" (Elf #2)
"You don't even know how sad that just sounded to me." (Me)
We turn around and take our formation. Since this time me and Janna want to take all of them on, the rest just go to the back and we step forward.
"Janna? Wanna make a bet?" (Me)
"Of course!" (Janna)
"Whoever defeats their bunch faster, wins. The winner can command the other one to do one thing." (Me)
"You shouldn't have said that." (Janna)
'Oh... that's an... interesting smile. Looks like J*ack the Ripper.'
Rather like the J*ker
It reminds me of the creatures of the abyss I had to fight long ago. I couldn't sleep for decades after them. Those were really interesting.
"Euh... the round is gonna start when I say "start"." (Commentator)
"WHO THE FUCK HIRED THAT GUY?!" (Me)
"Three." (Commentator)
Pure lightning starts to concentrate on the top of my finger.
"Two." (Commentator)
Janna goes into a sprinter position.
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"One." (Commentator)
I form my hand like a gun and point it toward my first target.
"Start." (Commentator)
Just as the Elves wanted to bring their hands together to form a spell, my first shot of "raygun" goes off.
*ZAP*
"One." (Me)
"HIIIIIIIIII" (Elf #2)
The first target immediately went down with his whole body having a deep brown colour.
In the corner of my eye I see Janna sprinting towards her first target, while a knife flies towards the other.
*ZAP*
"Two." (Me)
The next Elf is down. The other two just look at each other with a surprised look on their faces.
Meanwhile, Janna brought the elven girl, who was her first target, down. If the other one hadn't dodged the flying knife, then I would've already lost.
*ZAP*
"Three." (Me)
The last Elf actually tries to run away to the preparation room, but I of course don't allow that.
Janna reached the last elven girl, but at that point she already lost.
*ZAP*
"End."
You did that on purpose right? I mean the anti-countdown thing.
'You fucking guessed it.'
The fight was over in a matter of seconds. The male Elves still barely hang on to life, while the females actually are nearly dead.
"Good thing that you didn't kill them, or else we would've been disqualified." (Me)
Every single member of the audience is silent. After the shock passed, they break out in extremely loud applaud.
"WHAT IS THAT DUO?! DID THAT BOY JUST USE MAGIC WITHOUT INCANTATION?!" (Audience member #1)
"That girl didn't even use magic did she? Isn't this a wizard tournament?!" (Audience member #2)
"WHO CARES?! I WOULD TAKE HER AS MY BRIDE ANY TI- AHHHHHHH" (Audience member #3)
A knife embedded itself inside that guy's shoulder in the blink of an eye.
''She might not be as pure anymore, but she won't be defiled by anyone who lays her dirty eyes on her! UNDERSTOOD?!" (Me)
The whole audience falls back into silence.
"GOOD!" (Me)
"Yu..." (Janna)
Janna looks at me with sparkling eyes. For a slight moment a pink aura envelopes us.
"I guess I can give you an order now, huh?" (Me)
"I will do anything you want. ANYTHING!" (Janna)
'OHOHOHOHOHO! YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THIS OR ELSE YOU'LL GET THIS OLD MAN EXCITED!'
I think it was intended that you get excited
'No shit. Watch this Screeny. You think that she loves me too much? Let's see what happens after this.'
I grab Janna by the chin and pull her face a bit closer.
"I just want you to always stay by my side." (Me)
OH MY GOD I THINK I HAVE TO VOMIT!
'Come on! This is a classic in shoujo manga!'
"*Pant* *Pant* I don't want to only stay by your side. *Pant* *Pant* I want to stay inside you." (Janna)
'Okay, now it's just getting dangerous to go down her route any further.'

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"Yeah, so the first round won the team of the human capital... I'm gonna try and hang myself again. Shitty rope just had to snap last time." (Commentator)
"Good luck with that." (Me)
"Fuck you." (Commentator)
"Oi! Stop using magic to enhance your voice! No one wants to hear that anymore!" (Random unknown dude)
"You wanted me to comment on all this shit, not me." (Commentator)
Again, the commentator just leaves with a bit thicker rope in his hands.
"You did it!" (Lydia)
"Hmpf, you would be worth even less if you lost against those guys!" (Aline)
"I'm pwoud of you!" (Belka)
"And I'm proud of you Belka." (Me)
"She didn't do anything though?" (Lydia)
"She fucking exists, alright? That's way more than you've ever done for me." (Me)
"Now that just hurt..." (Lydia)
"Am I the only one who looks forward to sleeping in one bed?" (Estelle)
With those last words we leave the arena and soon the night approached.
'Screeny? Still awake?'
I'm a fucking screen. I don't sleep and you know that.
'There was once a time where I would say that this is my own paradise. I mean, surrounded by 5 girls, in one bed, half naked. Who wouldn't want that?!'
That Hajime guy?
'Okay, yeah. You have a point there. But what normal person wouldn't want that?'
None
Suddenly someone on the bed shifts, which makes everyone on the bed move.
'And now I'm surrounded by tits. GOD! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!'
I blink away from the mountain of girls I'm buried in and run out of the room.
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THEM?! ARE YOU INSANE?!
'IF I I STAY THERE ANY LONGER THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE AND I JUST CAN'T STAND THE FUCKING THOUGHT OF A YOUNG BOY HAVING AN ORGY! I WOULD FUCKING THROW UP WHILE FUCKING THEM!'
Even if that thought is disgusting, you're torturing yourself...
'And it fucking hurts more than any physical pain. I need something to cool down.'
I go down the hallway and soon arrive at the outer part of the colosseum. The cool nightbreeze immediately hits my face and the full shining moon calms me down at least a little bit.
'Fuck, I really hate being this young...'
As I stand there, half naked and with a raging boner, I notice one thing.
"Huh... this is the perfect stage to have a deep conversation with my future rival..." (Me)
"Fufufu, the moon tonight is really beautiful, isn't it?" (???)
"Would ya fucking look at that. What a coincidence." (Me)
In front of me stands a girl with a perfect face in a black nightgown.
"Well then, shall we have our deep conversation?" (Me)
Slowly I'm wondering if you don't have an ability to see the future somewhere hidden in your status...
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