Alright, so what happened with her? I think that cliffhanger made us wait long enough.

'But don't you feel the suspense? Normally you would now start with another side story and only after 10 chapters you would-

I swear to christ I'll quit my job if you do that.

'Jeez, alright. Doesn't even know how to build up suspense. I hate working with amateurs. Well, you know what happened in my past life right?'

Something along the lines of a badly depressed and crippled mother, dead father and useless siblings?

'Yep, that was all tragic as fuck. Tears fell and we all were so sad. Fuck that.'

Oi, wouldn't that be the moment I would have to feel sympathy for you?

'Didn't I just say fuck that?'

Just continue with the story ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

'As I've mentioned before, my personality adapted and I couldn't really take anything seriously anymore. I secluded myself in my room, except of school of course, and became the introverted bum that I am now. Of course I was still attractive and cool and aweso-

I SAID CONTINUE WITH THE STORY ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

'*cough* I secluded myself until a certain girl entered my life. This girl, Sophia Kanon, interested me for a while since we've had a few classes together and damn...'

What?

'She had big tits. I mean like serious D-Cups. That was the only reason I started to talk to her and tried conquer her with my infinite charm.'

I don't think I have any tables left, do I? OH THERE'S ONE! (ﾉಠдಠ)ﾉ︵┻━┻

'So with the only thoughts being her big tits, I started to approach her. To be honest, she was a pain in the ass at first. Rude, unlikable and insulted me whenever she had the time. But once you came closer to her, she held you dear and treated you with care. And me, being treated with care, was already a very rare thing to happen. We spent a lot of time together, So I unconsciously started to open my heart to her, which I've thought I closed off from everyone. A pretty dumb mistake on my part.'

So you were once on the verge of being one of those real people as well?

'Please don't remind me of my dark past. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES!'

YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE REAL PEOPLE, NOT JOIN THEM! BRING BALANCE TO THE... shit

'Yeah, doesn't work well at that part, does it?'

Fuck you

'Anyways. It's the first time that I opened up my heart to anyone in years. Before that, I locked out any person in my life without a second thought. Maybe because I didn't want to risk having a potential danger to my sanity or maybe just because I was too lazy to have working relationships. And I bet most of those guys I've locked out would've been able to be good friends, but of course I chose the one person who would later abandon me to enter my life... *sigh*.'

What happened then?

'Well, what do you guess happened? After having the first working friendship in years, I naturally started to fall in love with her, although I still thought at that time, that I'm still just in it for the tits.'

Completely relatable

'We started to spend even more time together, and then came the moment I confessed.'

And?

'She refused me of course lol. This is a tragic backstory, I don't get any love here! She stopped all contact with me and like that, the first person I've opened up to, vanished from my life *fake sob*.'

Why do you have to be sarcastic even at these moments?

'Just see it as the privilege of the abandoned. With her, the only person I trusted in years, leaving me just like that, I finally abandoned all hope on humanity. I gave them one chance, and they have failed me spectacularly. I wasn't really able to ridicule everything anymore, since I've already started to take some things seriously again and all the shit which my family went through, then was able to hit me directly with a critical hit. You know what came after that: Depression gets worse, climb the stairs up a building yadi yadi yada.

...I don't really know what to say. I honestly thought you died just for a last bad joke or something like that.

'Nah. It was actually a valid reason. Pretty surprising, isn't it?'

"Yu? Are you really okay?" (Janna)

Unknown to me, my expression distorted into a grotesque smile.

'Screeny? What do you think my reaction, to her being the reason I commited suicide, will be?'

To be honest, I don't really know. First I guessed that you would kill her or do something just as cruel, but she's still your beloved little sister. So I can't really give you an answer.

'Well, just watch me.'

I grab Jannas chin and pull her in on a deep kiss. I push my tongue inside her mouth as deep as I can and don't let her escape, not even letting her take a breather. First, her body stiffened up, but after she got over the surprise she went limp with a flushed expression on her face.

"That's what I'm gonna do." (Me)

"Hehehehehehe." (Janna)

Janna just laughs with a weird expression on her face. Her face is bright red and her breathing hard. She spasmed for a bit, before falling on her knees.

'Wait... did she just cum?'

That was actually pretty damn surprising. I thought you would hate her now?

'Why the fuck would I hate her now? She's the reason I was able to escape from my past and now I'm living the life I've always dreamed of! I hated my past life. I just was constantly on auto-pilot and waited for the day to pass by. Do you think I had some regrets left? Fuck no. I'm more grateful to her than anything!'

I kneel down and look Janna in the eyes.

"My dear, beloved little sister. I have something to confess. I'm a reincarnated too!" (Me)

"Of course *pant* you are *pant*. I already predicted that since the moment *pant* you were able to do flips when we still slept together in one bed *pant*." (Janna)

'Damn, she saw that? AND WHY DOES SHE PREDICT BETTER THAN ME?!'

"Do you want to know what my name was in my past life?" (Me)

"I want to know everything about you. I want to know the way you looked. I want to know where you lived. I want to know what shampoo you use-" (Janna)

"I'm just gonna skip that part since It's weird. My name waaaaaaas DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!" (Me)

*DRUM ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL*

'Shit, she can't hear it.'

I proceed to tap on the ground very fast.

"JASON BROOK. My name was Jason Brook." (Me)

'That wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be...'

Janna looks at me with a dumbfounded expression. "Dumbfounded" can't even be used to describe it. It's more like she lost all reasoning.

"*sob* I'm so *hic* glad." (Janna)

Holy fuck, why is she the one crying now?

'Isn't that the scenario where she reveals her sad past and the reason why she wasn't able to become my girlfriend, before finally admitting that she loved me too?'

HOLY FUCK AND WHY ARE YOUR PREDICTIONS SO ACCURATE RIGHT NOW?!

'I can't lose to an amateur, can I?'

"Since the moment *hic* I rejected your proposal, I regretted my whole life. I didn't want to *hic* reject you, but there was no other way!" (Janna)

'Told you.'

God dammit

"Why was there no other way?" (Me)

Janna slowly started to calm down.

"Do you still remember how much I didn't want you to befriend me?" (Janna)

"I remember being insulted, ignored and screamed at. Not that I didn't like i- .... *sigh* I thought we were over the whole "masochist" thing, author?" (Me) (Author Note: Can't stop the masochist train.)

"Yes, well that had a reason. That reason is also the one I'm here right now." (Janna)

'I'm slowly getting sick of all those backstories.'

"I was actually very sick. At the time you approached me, I had only about 4 months left to live. But you just didn't stop pushing yourself onto me, and at the end I just thought "Why not?". So I started to be friends with you." (Janna)

'And that's the reason why I commited suicide. FUCKING WHY NOT, RIGHT?!'

"First, I thought that you were just a simple guy, who laughs at everything you see and generally was just happy with life. Then I got to know you better. I learned how much more was inside you, how much more you actually were." (Janna)

A prebuscent, perverted manchild?

'Yeah, right. Just watch.'

"You were actually a prebuscent, perverted manchild." (Janna)

HA! GOTCHA!

'FUCK BOTH OF YOU!'

"But you were aslso suffering just like me. While I was able to enjoy the rest of my life at least, you were doomed to suffer. You were the first person who had a life as shit as me. I started to develop feelings for you. First they might have been sympathy or just pity, but soon I couldn't think about anything but you. Then you confessed to me." (Janna)

'Please God, if you're there, then let her skip that part.'

COME ON! GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF!

"I have to admit, it was a bit weird how you did it, but cute nevertheless. At that moment-" (Janna)

'HA! SHE SKIPPED IT!'

FUCK

"-various thoughts went through my mind. How our relationship would develop. How long it could last. How happy we could be. But then the thought of how much time I had left creeped up in my mind. I thought about how much you had to suffer if I, as your lover, died. I just couldn't do that to you." (Janna)

'I WAS FUCKING COCKBLOCKED BY A SICKNESS! FUCK ME!'

Ultimate Virgin: Jason Brook edition

"That's why I rejected you. I didn't want you to think anymore about me, so I didn't contact you again. 2 weeks later you vanished and I died in the same month." (Janna)

'*sigh* I wasn't able to see her tits after all...'

I put my hand on Jannas cheek.

"I'm just glad that I didn't spend my whole past life not being loved by anyone." (Me)

Janna just smiles at me. I turn around and walk back to class, but not without turning around one last time.

"Oh yeah, I think I used sy*ss as a shampoo in my last life. The black one." (Me)

"Oh, I knew that. I even knew when you used it." (Janna)

'I'm just going to ignore that.'