'Well, since this is my last chance, why don't I give it a good squeeze?'

While falling down the abyss, which is rather deep, I grab Lydias behind.

Gotta enjoy your last moments, right? I understand you completely ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

"AND OF COURSE YOU WOULD DO THAT WHILE WE ARE FALLING TO OUR DEATH!" (Lydia)

"A man's gotta do what he's gotta do." (Me)

*SPLASH*

"BLARGHNJSFÖAFN" (Me)

"BLARGHSFKÖKLSF" (Lydia)

What greets us is not the ground as expected, but a pond, which saves our lives.

'Oh well... that was somewhat anticlimactic. I mean, it's not the worst death to be molesting a nice ass while dying with that same girl at the same time, right?'

I swim to the surface and look around.

'Just as I expected.'

What is it?!

'I can't see shit. Just as expected.'

YOU FUCKER!

I slap my ears, resulting in an enhancement of my hearing.

'Now that I think about it, slapping the desired part of the body was not the best idea. I literally have to slap myself...'

In the distance, I hear a certain person struggling not to drown. I, of course as the nice protagonist, do my best to help her.

"Oi, bitch! The first to get to the shore wins!" (Me)

"OH YOU'RE ON!" (Lydia)

'Piece of cake.'

I enhance the rest of my body and arrive at the shore in about 5 seconds. Lydia only arrives 2 minutes later and at a completely different place. If I didn't have my "search life" spell, then I would've probably lost her.

"Tch, your win again." (Lydia)

"Only 50 more wins and you have to give me a lapdance." (Me)

"Why did I agree to that again?" (Lydia)

"Perhaps for the plot?" (Me)

"For the what?" (Lydia)

"Oh, nothing. But more importantly, we have to get a hold of our situation." (Me)

Enhancing my eyesight made it possible to see a bit better in the dark, but around us are only rocks, stones and pebbles.

'What a view. Nature truly is beautiful.' (Me)

I don't think this is really the time to be joking. This really is somewhat of a dangerous situation.

A smile forces its way through my face.

'Really? I think this is then an even better time to be joking around!' (Me)

The grin doesn't disappear. It just won't disappear. In this situation, where we could easily die of starvation or the surprise attack of a dungeonmonster, the grin just won't disappear.

"What should we do now, Yu?" (Lydia)

"Don't know!" (Me)

I say a decisive sentence enthusiastically. Through the darkness, I see Lydia slowly succumbing to panic.

"Well, there is always one thing we could do..." (Me)

"And what is that?" (Lydia)

Her expression starts to brighten up a bit.

"We could fuc-" (Me)

"I refuse." (Lydia)

"Tch." (Me)

Her expression finally loosens up. Me, seemingly still having enough confidence to be cracking jokes, seems to give her a certain sense of safety.

"Then let's just go any direction. Come." (Me)

"W-wait, how should I follow you? I can't see, it's too dark." (Lydia)

"You could've just said if you wanted to hold hands. No need to be shy about it." (Me)

"I could also just hold the back of your shirt." (Lydia)

"Coincidentally, my shirt was torn off by the currents." (Me)

"Then your pants-" (Lydia)

"They did as well." (Me)

'I took it off a minute ago. You gotta be prepared.'

"ARE YOU NAKED RIGHT NOW?!" (Lydia)

How the fuck did you plan this conversation so far ahead?

'You call that "9 years worth of experience in reading light novels".'

You didn't have friends since you were 10?

'I had Linda!'

Oh? And who was that?

'My right hand.'

LOL

I activate my "search life" magic again and expand the radius to the max, before Lydia reluctantly grabs my hand. After expanding my radius for 5 kilometers, I finally find the first monster.

'That's... exciting!'

What I found, is a three headed griffon who is about as big as the boss of the dungeon. My grin just widens as the danger increases.

'Let's go for it!... After I recovered my mana!'

My mana was still completely spent from the successive spatial tears I used earlier.

"Well, unsurprisingly our only source of food is the meat of monsters. But the next monster is 5 kilometers away in that direction and I still don't have mana, so you can rest while I meditate." (Me)

"A-alright..." (Lydia)

I sit down and let my mind loose, go into the training space of my mind and don't think of anything, except of recovering mana and training a certain other element a bit.

Lydia P.o.V

'He thought I would just sit idly here and wait for him? Does he think I can't defeat that monster by myself? I will show him! That will be my first win against him!'

I go the direction Yu showed me, who I was only barely able to discern. Unknown to me, I approach a mythical creature.

30 minutes passed, and I still didn't find the monster.

'Shit, where could it be?'

Suddenly I hear the whistle of wind and a loud, thunderous roar follows it. In the next second, I was grabbed by a claw and thrown in the air.

"SHIT!" (Me)

I fire the only spell I can shoot in a short amount of time, which is a simple fireball. The fireball lights the environment and what I see sends shivers down my spine.

"2 things. Why didn't I use my fire magic to light the way before? And WHY IS THE LEGENDARY THREE HEADED GRIFFON HERE?" (Me)

The fireball flies into the mouth of the griffon, but that doesn't even bother him. I fall for the second time today into my certain death. I close my eyes and accept my fate. I wait for the moment I hit either the ground or become bird food.

But that moment doesn't come.

I land abruptly inside someones arms. Those arms, which saved me, fondle my behind with techniques which could only come from one person.

"I was this close to falling for you, until you grabbed my ass." (Me)

"I already told you. A man's gotta do what he's gotta do!" (Yu)

Those words. He said those with his ever carefree smile on his face, looking as if the whole world would be alright as long as he is there.

''Well, maybe I already did fall..." (Me)

'Why did I say that out loud?!'

He looks at me with a bit of a surprised expression, before changing again to his provoking smile.

"Of course you did!" (Yu)

He turns around, with me still in his arms, and faces the griffon.

"Now this is where the fun part begins!" (Yu)

Yu P.o.V

'Of course she would go all alone...'

I just came back from my trainingsspace, which literally only took seconds, and Lydia already left.

'Well, let's see what will happen to her. It surely will be a good show. SCREENY! PREPARE THE POPCORN!'

YES SIR! *sounds of preparing popcorn*

'I... I didn't mean that literally... I can't eat the popcorn anyway...'

Check your inventory

'And what should there b- WHAT?! HOW?!'

Inside of my inventory, which content I instinctively knew, there was now popcorn.

Magic

'ART THOU A WIZARD?'

I follow Lydia silently. She takes many detours, which could probably be blamed on her lack of vision, but after about half an hour she gets to the area where the griffon could be encountered.

'I'm telling you, R*m is best girl! Her feelings for S*baru are pure and she just gets turned down time after time! How could you not think that she is best girl?!'

EMILIA IS BEST GIRL!

'FUCK YOU!'

Oh and I think you should pay attention to your girl. Or else she's gonna die soon.

'Don't try to run away from this topi- OH FUCK!'

Lydia was already in front of the griffons beak. I blink as fast as I can to her and catch her before throwing her away and blinking to catch her again, since I can't blink with her.

'There it is again. The princess carry, my ultimate move. Every girl falls for me as soon as I use it!'

Yeah, dream along...

'Oh what's this? I feel a certain squishy but still firm something? Let's fondle it a bit. ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE: 1000 FINGERS OF FONDLING!'

"I was this close to falling for you, until you grabbed my ass." (Lydia)

I told you it wouldn't work

'Well... still grabbed an ass. Totally worth at it!'

"I already told you. A man's gotta do what he's gotta do!" (Me)

She'll fall for you eventually. Don't give up buddy, even if it's an eternity away lol.

'You damn bitch. There was a time you supported me in conquering those girls! I don't think we should talk about that right now though...'

A smile appears on my face, ridiculing that we stand in front of a giant, three headed griffon, while arguing about conquering the Heroine in my arms.

''Well, maybe I already did fall..." (Lydia)

'WHAT?!'

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?!

'I meant... JUST AS PLANNED! THE PRINCESS CARRY WORKED!'

FUCK OFF

"Of course you did!" (Me)

I turn around. New vigor, which comes from the successful feeling of conquering another Heroine, filling me up. The griffin stands in front of me, infuriated that I took his prey away from him.

"Now this is where the fun part begins!" (Me)