2 years passed since my first successful conquering.

*BOOOOOOOM*

Dust flies in my left eye.

'AAAHHHHH FUCK! IT'S ITCHING! MUSTN'T ITCH! OR... ELSE... I WON'T LOOK COOL!'

Out of the dustcloud comes a crimsonhaired beauty. Her curves are starting to show and the leather armour she's wearing only accentuates them. The only thing that is out of place, is the giant hammer, which she swung over her shoulder.

"Hmpf, as expected of me. I defeated it with ease." (Aline)

"Yeah, you did well." (Me)

I pat her head and she looks down, blushing.

'Screeny?'

Yes, brotha?

'Is this the life I've always dreamt of? Is this the life where I'll be able to catch Heroines like Pok*mon?'

Well, this is a difficult question. You have to consider the path you will take in the futu-

'WRONG ANSWER! OF COURSE IT IS BOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIII-'

Well... fuck it. YEAH BOOOOIIIIIIIIII!

Behind Aline, the dustcloud disperses and the bloody, bashed in head of a wolf-like monster emerges. The brain is completely visible, since it's splattered everywhere and the innards are squished like mashed potatoes.

'I didn't even know innards could look like that... why is my Ding Dong hard?'

You really are a psycho (•◡•) /

'Why am I hearing that more often recently?'

"This is it for today, let's go home Aline." (Me)

"Alright, but let's take a detour!" (Aline)

"I don't get why you always want to take a detour, but it's fine with me." (Me)

I throw her one of my usual, charming smiles. She blushes and starts to take the lead.

'HA! You think I don't know the reason? Am I one of your usual dense MC's or what?! She wants the D of course!'

If only you weren't so young! Then you could enjoy your time...

'Patience, my little child. Soon it will be time. You have to endure.'

You don't really think that way, do you?

'OF COURSE NOT! I'M THIRSTY AS FUUUUUUUCK!'

I follow Aline back to the village. When we arrived, there was a big ruckus, as if a festival was going on.

"What's going on?" (Aline)

"I don't know..." (Me)

'Shit, I don't know it for real this time.'

That's... actually surprising...

'Well, excuse me! I can't know everything!'

We go into the direction, where seemingly the center of the crowd is. In the middle of the crowd, there stands a single woman in a white robe. In front of her is a desk with a crystal ball on it. A queue of children, about the same age as us are waitng for what seems their turn to come.

'OH! NOW I KNOW WHERE THIS LEADS TO!'

Please enlighten this foolish peasant.

'Alright, what do you measure with a crystal ball in fanatsy novels?'

WHAAAAAAT?! IS THIS THE START OF A NEW ARC?

'So you found it out, huh? That's right, it's probably the *DRUM ROOOOOOOOOOLL* MAGIC ACADEMY ARC!!!'

HYYYYYYYPPPEEEE!!!! So on what type of Heroine are you betting on?

'I bet it'll be one of the mature teachers! I'll seduce her with my unusual matureness and then we vanish behind the gym! She'll be all like "We shouldn't do this, you're my pupil!" And I'll be like "But sexual education is also part of our schedule." AND THEN I RAM IT INTO HER FROM BEHI-'

You really need it, don't you?

'Fuckin halp'

I bet it'll be an elf who is an exchange student from the Great Forest Nation. Proud of her blood, but still a naive child inside.

'Let's see who'll win bitch.'

On what are we betting?

'The loser needs to grant the winner one wish!'

DEAL! But you do realize, that I'm still the system and have a little control over your encounters?

'The risk was calculated, BUT BOY AM I BAD AT MATH!'

My father comes out of the crowd and makes his way to my side.

"Yu! It's the Magic academy! They are searching for people who could possibly be future magicians!! (Father)

'Yeah, no fucking shit Sherlock.'

"Yeah, no fucking shit Sherlock." (Me)

Yeah, no fucking shit Sherlock

"*moan*" (Father)

"Let's go queue in, Yu!" (Aline)

Aline takes my hand and we start standing in queue.

'Screeny, is this the moment where a normal MC would hide his full strength?'

Yeah, he would probably start spouting bullshit like "Euh, I want to hide my full strength so that I don't stand out"

'Fuck that"

That's right, fuck that.

'Status'

STATUS

STATS

Level: 46 Statpoints: 46

HP: 44 MP: 7818 HP REGEN: 0.16/sec MP REGEN: 0.40/sec

STR: 24 DEX: 102 END: 16 INT: 35 WIS: 40 CHR: 32 LCK: 30

ABILITIES

ACTIVE: Space of distorted Time; Lightning step (shortcut: clap); Raygun (shortcut: pointed finger); Enhance (shortcut: slap desired part of body); Lightning clad (shortcut: touch both shoulders diagonally) ; Blink (shortcut: flick); Heal (shortcut: Touch target with pinky and thumb); Search life (shortcut: touch temples) ; Embed Lightning (shortcut: tap weapon of choice twice); Connect Lightning (shortcut: lock fingers); Cure Disease (shortcut: Point pinky at target); Cure higher Curse (shortcut: point ringfinger at target)

PASSIVE: Perfect Body control; Extreme Magic potential (Gift from God); Perfect language comprehension; Inventory; Shortcut; Twin Dagger Mastery (72%); Throwing Knives Mastery (100%); Higher Throwing Knives Mastery (8%); Eyes of the Incubus (Toggle)

AFFINITIES: Lightning (99,99%); Life (46,75%)

TITLES

"The one who made God vomit"

"You're fucking ridiculous"

"Nightmare of the magic Forest"

CONTRACTS

Bruno (Incubus)

It's finally my turn. Behind me is Aline who is fiddeling around and behind her is surprisingly my little sister.

'If my little sister doesn't come with me, I'll burn the whole academy to the ground. With the personnel, the students and all that shit.'

You have an obsession (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Alright, you just need to put your hand on the crystal ball and then it will automatically check your affinties. It's very simple." (Tester)

'Oh boy, here we go!'

I put my hand on the crystal ball. Suddenly a blinding, yellow light shines and the crystal ball explodes.

'CALL ME THE THUNDERGOD!'

You are a Pi*achu at best

"WHA- WHAT?! COULD IT BE?! THAT BLINDING YELLOW LIGHT, AND THE EXPLODING CRYSTAL BALL CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!!!" (Tester)

'Yeah, come on, give me that legendary title. I deserve it.'

"IT'S THE APTITUDE OF THE LEGENDARY THUNDERMOUSE!" (Tester)

'.......You're fucking kidding me right?'

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOW YOU REALLY BECAME A PI*ACHU!