I wake up inside of my crip, with my little sister beside me. It's now about 3 months after I was born, and I can finally move a little.

'That was pretty hard you know? I had to do pilates and shit even though I'm a baby. You don't even know how weird that was when my mother saw what training I was doing and I had to shit myself to look like a baby again... Oh and my mother is not nearly as gentle as I thought...'

A few days ago.

"You goddamn little pooper, first you make these weird movements and now you shit yourself, just because you saw me? Oh boy, if you are still gonna be such a brat when you grow up I will whoop yo ass daily." (Mother)

'I can't even talk bitch, what do you expect to get out of threatening me? A heated discussion with good arguments? Gugu Gaga Bitch, that's the only thing I can say right now and you will be fucking glad to hear it.'

Back to the present.

'But that happened a while ago, and since I can now move somewhat, I guess it's time to try the Trainingspace!'

I think about the skill and immediately find myself inside of a white room. In my mind I can see various calibrations with which I can fiddle with, for example increasing the gravitational force or the amount of mana in the environment.

'Alright boiiiiiz LET'S GET TO WORK SHALL WE... wait... what am I even supposed to do right now? I can't move shit well enough, to be doing physical exercise and that would probably be even harmful to my body... AW FUC-'

After contemplating about 15 minutes about it, I notice that I have basic and even advanced knowledge about the magic of this world and how to train it.

'Why do I know this shit? Oh, don't you tell me it's because of some nice side effect of one of the skills God gave me? If it is like that, then I will have a little bit of mercy while beating his ass.'

Extreme Magic potential: Extremely high understanding of the way of magic and easier use of it. High affinity increase while training. High mana increase while training. User will be born with advanced knowledge about magic, which will gradually be unlocked as affinity increases. (You couldn't do shit without it, so be glad you cunt.)

Message from God: You damn imbecile forgot the basic knowledge about this world. Damn, I feel like I'm babysitting your stupid ass.

'Oh boy, he just increased his assbeating by another 50%. If I find your senile ass, I will beat you up so damn hard, that you will see your grandma on the other side of river styx you bitch!'

My thoughts wander off once again.

'Does the river styx even exist? I mean if he's the only God, then the greek mythology is proven to be wrong isn't it? And if he had a grandma, what would she be? Some kind of overlord? 10 questions science still can't answer.'

You're just too stupid to answer it

Now even the status is abusive and insults me! Not that I hate i- WHAT THE FUCK AUTHOR?! DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A MASOCHIST!'

(Author's note: You're breaking the 4th wall. That's not allowed.)

'Oh shit *cough*. Moving on, I guess I have to start practicing now.'

The basics of the magic practice I am doing, is making handsigns (which is barely even possible because I'm a baby and stuff) to make the mana in the environment flow into my body.

'Uuuuhhhh that's convenient. Thanks to the training space I can even choose which element I want to have.'

The mana in the environment has various elements and the amount of mana of a certain element, at one place, depends on the environment. For example fire element will be found near a volcano or water attribute in the sea.

'Now is the question which type I'm gonna go for. Looks like I can't increase the amount of mana with the "time" element in this training space, probably because the time element is being used here so that the time outside won't run. So the other only choice is-'

*drum-roll*

'-LIGHTNING TYPE! Just imagine cladding your body in lightning and roasting at your enemys ass at lightspeed. And even more important: Thrusting at lightspeed!'

You're a goddamn disgrace to humanity. For your bashfulness you get +1 CHR.

'Oh, what? You wanna go? You wanna throw some fucking hands? But since I got that Statpoint I will forgive you. I'm a nice guy, you know?

That's what I thought you wimp.

'Why can a baby even get an erection? Not that I have one right now, pff.'

While I tried to hide my boner, I-

'I AIN'T HIDING SHIT'

-set the lightning element in the environment to the max. I form a triangle in front of my heart with my hands and circulate the magic inside of me, to let the magic in the environment seep into my body. This whole training serves the purpose of making my affinity with the lightning element higher and at the same time increases my mana by a tiny amount.

After what feels like 4 hours of meditation a message floats in front of my eyes.

Oi cunt, your time is up. Get your ass out of here. (¬_¬)

'Oh and what if I don't? What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna come out of that little screen of yours and fight me like a real man?...I mean screen... or are you a man... what the fuck are you?'

While I try to pick a fight with the status

''Why do I even do that? Did I really try to pick a fight with a damn screen?'

-I find myself back inside of my own bed.

'Oh he's gonna do that... that damn fucker.'

I look beside me and see my cute little sister sleeping.

'The sight of her can truly calm my heart. I hope she will be one of those clingy types... that would be fucking bliss.'

OOOOOHHHH, WE HAVE A SISCON RIGHT HERE (─‿‿─) finally something we can agree on

I try my best to ignore the screen (although he seems more charismatic to me right now) and notice that a whole day in the trainingspace only felt like 1 hour for me, while meditating. And I didn't get hungry either.

'I guess since it's a training room, it makes sense that I didn't get hungry. Would be pretty damn inconvenient if not so. But most importantly, what does my status look like right now?

STATUS

STATS

HP: 3 MP: 153 HP REGEN: 0,01/sec MP REGEN: 0.12/sec

STR: 1 DEX: 100 END: 1 INT: 15 WIS: 12 CHR: 6 LCK: 30

ABILITIES

ACTIVE: Space of distorted Time

PASSIVE: Perfect Body control; Extreme Magic potential (Gift from God); Perfect language comprehension; Inventory

AFFINITIES: Lightning (0,05%)

TITLES

"The one who made God vomit"

'Nice.'

With training as a routine and sucking on my mommas titties like they are the holy grail, 3 years passed.