I almost crash into my garage door and get out of my car with a sigh. The wizards did not break out of my little trap, so I can assume that I wasn't followed. If they can't break out, then hopefully they'll be able to bear the four hours of spinning in the air at a very slow speed.

Instead, I focus on my bounty. Mary's cold staff is surprisingly light, and the multicolored crystals emit a faint glow as I lay everything out on my kitchen table. A thin polished slab of granite the size of my phone is the last element of this collection.

I have an inkling about what the staff is, even if I don't know how to use it. The crystals are also mysterious, but-

***Source of MertiPoints detected! Absorb? (Yes/No) ***

I almost fall off my chair as I focus back on the crystals. The notification appears again. My jaw drops; I have no idea what those crystals are, but MERTICORE seems to like them. Investigating those wizards was worth it!

Should I absorb them now, or should I hold off until I learn more about them? The two sisters must have had a reason for carrying those multicolored stones. If I had to guess, it must be related to some magical business. I shrug since I'm not proficient in magic. I doubt I will be for a long time, if ever. However, using MERTICORE comes naturally and should help me with anything I might encounter.

But first, let’s see if I can use the Object Editor to dupe them. Having an infinite source of MertiPoints should-

***MERTICORE Alert! Cannot edit the source of MertiPoints! ***

Well, it was worth trying. What should I do with those crystals then?

I need the MertiPoints, as stupid as it sounds, more than those fancy crystals. I select the 'Yes' option, and the stones disappear in a flash of light.

***142 MertiPoints added! ***

Fuck, I should have absorbed the crystals individually to determine their value. It is too late now, but I should remember that the next time I rob a bunch of murderous wizards.

Now that I think about it, what I did was incredibly stupid. But I am also quite proud to have defeated a bunch of smug mages with some stale memes. I bet their supervisor will never believe them, especially if they report that I am called 'MemeLord'. I can't help but chuckle as I imagine some Gandalf lookalike describing my actions with a grave voice.

I was counting on them being confused; it worked way better than I ever thought. But those antics will not save me a second time, so I better not face the two women again if I can avoid it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to survive a duo of pissed off magic-wielders.

Enough about them, now let's take a look at the rest of my loot. I already used the crystals, so I focus on the thin slab of granite. Why would anyone carry a random piece of stone in their pockets?

The stone lights up as soon as I look at it, and I jump to the ground as I throw it away. I peek over my couch, but there are no signs of destruction anywhere. I take a deep breath; I was expecting a bomb or a destructive spell. I look at the information displayed on the stone and cannot believe my eyes.

It looks just like the home screen of my phone. I cannot recognize the apps, but it is still a magical copy of a modern smartphone. Fucking wizards. They do not have any original ideas, do they? I inspect the magical phone more thoroughly. It looks like the image is projected slightly above the stone surface; my fingers go through the ethereal display as I touch the cold surface. It is a weird sensation since I am used to regular phones, it will take some time to get used to it.

There is an app with an icon resembling an old-timey parchment, so I press it. Colors on the screen swirl before reforming into something that looks like a messaging app. There is no valuable information in there, but at least I discover that the 'phone' belonged to Nicole. The conversation with the most messages is with Mary, but briefly looking over the texts reveals nothing of value. I close the app and check the other ones.

There is another app with a white icon depicting a black horse-drawn carriage. Clicking on it reveals that the app was called 'Ye Magic Shoppe'.

I wish I made this up. Must everything related to the supernatural be named like shit? Is that a rule that I'm not aware of or something? I sigh as I peruse through the- I am already sick of the stupid name. There is no way in hell I'm calling it that. I look at the items in the Magic Shop and whistle in admiration. There is a lot of stuff for sale, and I don't know how to use any of them.

Some things look pretty impressive. I mean, a sword made of pure magma? That is dangerously close to copyright infringement, but it still looks cool. It is also quite expensive according to the large number next to the pictures of the product. The currency used in there is simply called 'Credits'. It is a refreshingly sober and sensible name, a nice change of pace from the other bullshit I have seen lately.

I look at my account to see if I can learn more about what a wizard typically uses, and a smile creeps on my face.

It looks like Nicole saved her payment details. It is not a standard credit card, but it must be something similar since I can just buy whatever I want.

There is a lesson to be learned here. Never sacrifice security for convenience, or assholes like me are bound to exploit it. I mentally thank Nicole as I have a steady source of magical bits and bobs for the time being, at least until she cancels her magical credit card. I do not know if it is a thing, but that would be a pretty terrible oversight if you were not able to do it.

Nevertheless, I stop pondering about the financial establishments of the magical world and go back to the home screen. There is not a lot of other apps in there. There is one for taking photos and video, and-

Is that a crystal ball on that purple icon? Yes, it is. I sigh as I launch the app. I am expecting a magical Alexa or-

Oh, I guess I was right. It is a bit depressing to see that the world of magic is so mundane. Everything I have seen so far saves from the spells, and the crystals, seem like a copycat of the modern world. Novels on the Internet told me that there would be dungeons and dragons, adventurers, and waifus.

But no. Instead, there is a fantasy Alexa and Amazon: Magical Edition.

I feel like they lied to me.

A sigh escapes my mouth as I stare at the slab of granite. I might as well use this phone substitute to the best of my abilities if I want to understand the magical world.

"Crystal ball, what can you tell me about magical crystals?" I ask the stone. The screen turns into a colorful swirl since it is probably loading. It takes a minute before my answers appear on the screen. There is a couple of entries, so I check the first one.

'A Guide to Mana Crystals, Second Edition' seems to be a pretty extensive guide, and the pictures it shows me are eerily similar to what MERTICORE just absorbed. I lean forward and narrow my eyes, reading that wall of text on this tiny screen is going to be very annoying.

Almost two hours later, and I massage my painful eyes while putting down the stone tablet on my coffee table. I was not able to keep up with the concepts that the guide was explaining. But I think I got the gist of it from the first couple of chapters. From what I have understood, Mana Crystals are magical batteries for certain devices and spells. They were also historically used as currency before, but it got changed in favor of Credits. Nevertheless, the Mana Crystals are, like the name implies, crystallized Mana.

They are either mined or created, but that detail is of no consequence. From what I have read, the color of a Crystal shows the density of Mana in the stone. It begins with faint white for the lower density ones to a deep purple for the best Crystals. It goes through almost the entire color spectrum between the two colors. It seems like the crystals I absorbed were not too bad, but far from the best. There was a handy chart in the guide that serves as a general guideline for the density of Mana Crystals, so I more or less have an idea of the quantity of Mana I absorbed.

There are ways to quantify Mana in a Crystal, but it is far from precise. The guide still listed it anyway. After doing a bit of math, I figured out the conversion rate from Mana to MertiPoints. It should be about one hundred to one. It is not a very precise ratio, but it will do for now.

I also tried to look into what Mana is, but there was too much conflicting information for me to keep up. From what I have pieced together, Mana is an energy created from nothing, all the time. But that is the only part that everyone agrees is true.

To summarize, Mana Crystals are magical batteries that MERTICORE likes to eat for MertiPoints, and that is all I care about.

I open the Magic Shop again and look at the Mana Crystal category. There is a lot of choices, but Miss Farsight is happy to foot the bill. So I choose the best crystals money can buy. I also pick a few training manuals if I ever discover my talent for magic. I look at my full cart, and for some reason, there seems to be something missing.

An idea suddenly pops into my mind. Of course! I need a way to defend myself from magical attacks, so I should buy armor and upgrade it with MERTICORE.

Wait, I just remembered that I can't edit magical Objects. I check the MERTICORE store and find the Universal Interface that the notification showed earlier. It is not cheap since it cost one hundred and forty MertiPoints, but it must be a worthwhile investment. As far as I know, Mana Crystals are the only way of generating precious MertiPoints, so I need to gather as many as I can.

And what better way to do so than to infiltrate the magic world? I buy the Universal Interface, and my vision fills with static once again.

***Universal Interface Level 1 has been installed! ***

What? I blink a few times and make sure that my eyes are not deceiving me. What do you mean Level 1? I check the app and slap my couch.

"Fuck!" I grumble as I see the in-app purchases to upgrade the Universal Interface. Each upgrade is sequential, so I can't jump to level three from level one. I need to buy level two and level three. To make matters worse, the next level is at least two times as expensive as the app itself. And something tells me that it's just the beginning.

Even the supernatural world is not safe from micro-transactions.

This damn MERTICORE is expensive to use. Not to mention that nothing was indicating in-app purchases!

But grumbling will not solve my problem, so I check the Magic Shop again. There seems to be a lot of choices regarding armor. I ask the crystal ball for pointers, but the best armor is definitely out of the budget of Miss Farsight. I should hopefully be able to upgrade the armor. If I can't, then the Universal Interface was a complete waste of MertiPoints.

Shit, just thinking about it is infuriating. I take deep breaths and focus on the task at hand. I do my research for an hour before selecting the best middle-tier armor that I should be able to afford on the salary of my generous benefactor. She is going to eat a whole lot of nothing in the coming months, but that should be a valuable lesson.

Now, what should I do about the delivery? I cannot have it delivered to my address, that would be like painting a huge target on my back. Instead, I check the other options. There seems to be something similar to Amazon Lockers, and there is one not too far from here. Furthermore, the articles will arrive by the end of the day!

Man, at least the mages have quick delivery.

I happily click the buy button, a huge smirk creeps on my face as my order is accepted.

This is going to be fun.