"So, who are you? And what are you doing here?" Mary asks again.

"I would feel much more comfortable if you didn't threaten me with your staff," I say.

"Say the guy waving his gun around." She retorts.

"Touché," I admit that I'm also flashing my weapon. But these people believe they are wizards so they must not be too right in the head. Better be safe than sorry, especially if it turns out that they are the real deal.

"What are you doing here then?" Nicole asks.

"Once again, Miss Nicole, I could ask you the same thing. I have the gun, so I do believe I'm entitled to have my questions answered." I say. Even if they are wizards, I doubt a burst of 10mm MERTICORE will be easy to endure.

"How do you know her name?" Mary growls and slams the ground with her staff.

"...Mary, you do remember that he overheard our conversation, right? He said so himself." Nicole says to her sister, who blinks a few times when she realizes what she just said.

"Thank you for calming this wild animal." I thank the redhead, who barely suppresses a smirk. "Can we have a civil conversation now?"

"You piece of shit! Who do think is a-" the fuming Mary calms down with a glare from her sister.

"I would be more comfortable speaking if I didn't have a gun pointed at me," Nicole says.

I shake my head, "I'm polite, not an idiot. I need answers first."

"We are getting nowhere with this," Mary sighs and points her staff at me. Light accumulates into the round tip of the metal bar.

I'm not sure if they are actual wizards, or they have an unhealthy number of LEDs jammed in there. Either way, I must show them that I'm serious. I aim between the two women and fire. A faint red muzzle flash comes out of my gun before the wall behind them collapses, and the one behind the first wall explodes.

"Holy shit!" We all say in unison before the shrapnel hits us. I'm unscathed thanks to my upgraded clothes, and it looks like an ethereal bubble is protecting the two sisters, who are now eyeing me with fear.

"What the fuck was that?" Mary shouts, "Are you trying to kill us all?"

"N-No." I stutter. I wasn't expecting the bullet to be so strong. Hell, if the wall behind us wasn't heavily armored concrete then it's likely that the projectile would have gone through the entire building without stopping.

I may have exaggerated the power of the cartridges.

"I think we can discuss things properly now." I take a deep breath and affirm my stance as I shift my aim towards the two wizards. How nobody heard the commotion I caused is beyond me, but maybe it's thanks to that weird perception filter they tried to use on me.

"How did he get through my Veil?" Mary mutters.

"We'll worry about that later! Are you sure your Veil is still holding on?" Nicole asks her sister. The sense of urgency in her voice makes me raise an eyebrow. How are these people still able to ignore me despite the fact that I destroyed half of the building with a single bullet?

I fake a cough, "Do you mind? I'm still here, you know."

The two women stare at me and exchange a glance before sighing. "Well, I don't like doing it but might as well try that," Nicole mutters before snapping her fingers. A golden star appears in her hands and rushes towards my head before I can even react.

***MERTICORE ALERT! External edits detected! Threat blocked and edits reversed! ***

The light disappears as quickly as it appeared, and the two mages visibly relax.

"Well, that was interesting." Mary nods to her sister. "But the fact that he walked right through my Veil without any of us noticing is super suspicious."

"Ahem," I say as I take a step forward. "Are you being rude on purpose? Or are you just unable to hold a conversation? I'm still here, along with my gun. The same gun that destroyed half of the building."

For real, these people have no concept of basic manners.

Why are they looking at me like they've seen a ghost? Are they finally realizing that I'm an actual threat?

"I don't know what your light show was supposed to accomplish, but it's time to stop fooling around. Give me my answers now." I ask again. I'm getting tired of these maybe-wizards being rude assholes.

"A-Are you still conscious?" Mary asks while staring at me with her eyes wide open.

I can't help but roll my eyes, "No, this is a pre-recorded message. Please leave your message after the beep."

I swear I saw Mary's eyelids twitch. Nicole is just sighing while holding her temples.

.

"You do know that Men In Black was a movie, right? It's fictional. Flashing some light into the eyes of someone is not going to disable them or make them forget what they've just seen. It's just going to annoy them." I add.

"...Sister, can I kill him?" Mary asks Nicole, who sighs even harder. I never thought that was possible.

"No." The redhead interjects, "You can't kill him." She then lowers her head, "I'm sorry for the annoyance. We are Mary and Nicole Farsight. We are on a mission to investigate the suspicious Mana readings coming from this area. We are from the Central Magic Agency."

I raise an eyebrow; I have no clue what this person is saying.

Who am I kidding? At this point, there's only one possibility left. Mages are a thing, and these two bickering sisters used magic to alter my perception. They also created some sort of magical shield to defend against the shrapnel from the explosion I caused earlier.

Maybe MERTICORE isn't as powerful as I first thought, and it's clear I'm not as special as I wanted to believe.

My world has been turned upside down multiple times today, but it seems that there's no way to stop this wild ride. Might as well go along with what they have to say if I can learn more about this supernatural business.

"Why are you revealing our names?" Mary growls and glares at me, "I guess he looks like he realizes how much he fucked up." she smirks.

Girl, you can't read facial expressions. I'm just shocked beyond belief, not scared by your names or your organization. But her misconception tells me that they must be pretty important, or that this Central Magic Agency is kind of a big deal.

"Of course, the Central Magic Agency. I know of them. Who wouldn't?" I feign confidence as much as I can. From the looks of things, it looks like the two mages bought my bullshit.

"If you know of our purpose, why did you intervene?" Nicole says with a frown. I glance at her hands. A single snap of her fingers and she could probably vaporize me. The MERTICORE-reinforced clothes are not adequate if I'm going to be dragged into a world of magical beings.

I shrug, "I had no idea it was your agency. I just felt like someone messed with my perception, so I investigated."

"He's lying! Nobody would break through my Veil so effortlessly unless it was planned!" Mary shouts and tightens her grip on her staff.

I gulp, the likelihood of being pulverized keeps going up the more I speak with them.

"You call that a Veil? If I'm being honest, I barely felt it." I decide to play dumb; it's better if they think I'm some sort of super-powerful wizard instead of some random idiot who just happened to be there.

"Sister," Mary looks at Nicole with pleading eyes, "Please?"

"No, we already discussed this. You can't beat up someone just because you dislike them. That attitude of yours always put us in trouble." Nicole refuses the pleas of her sister, and I refrain from breathing a sigh of relief. I have no idea how long I would survive if an angry mage decided that they wanted to get rid of me, but something tells me that I wouldn't last long.

"So, might I know your name?" Nicole asks with an innocent voice. However, her tense body language tells a different story. I bet she would atomize me right there if I happened to belong to an opposing organization. Better play it safe then and unleash my inner edgy teenager. That might work. Or it will get me killed.

I take a deep breath and smirk, "You have never heard of me, and my organization. Likely, you never will in your lifetime." I refrain from cringing as I do my best to look mysterious.

"Who are you?" Nicole asks again. The aggression in her voice is in plain sight. Her breathing has also gotten quicker.

Fuck, what should I do? Did I accidentally mimic some actual supernatural organization? Fuck me. It's just my luck.

"I can only tell you that our objective is to Secure, Contain, and Protect. We are the first and last line of defense against Anomalies." I hope these mages are not too fond of the Internet, or my bullshit will be spotted from a mile away.

Nicole and Mary exchange a glance before staring at me.

"Are you serious?" Mary asks with a dumbfounded expression.

"Of course," I nod with fake confidence. "The Foundation is not to be trifled with."

"Okay," Mary makes a twitchy smile before slamming the ground with her foot. "You are from the SCP Foundation then? The same fucking FICTIONAL Foundation from the fucking SCP wiki?"

Fuck.

"I may be lying just a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit." I sigh as I adjust my gun. "But the fact is that I have you in my sights. Do you feel lucky, punk?"

"This is not a time for references. Be serious, or I'll have to report to the CMA." Nicole says with a sigh. "Instead, why don't we act like reasonable adults and be civil about this whole thing?"

"Then you'll make me disappear once you hear what you want to hear. I'm not an idiot, you spell-slinging fucks. Why can't you just leave all of this behind you, and let me go." I take a deep breath; I'm done with their bullshit. These people threatened me multiple times and tried to kill me once already. I'm not going to listen to them.

Yes, I'm a petty bastard. How could you tell?

I activate the Object Editor and focus on Mary's staff. Let's see how she'll react once her precious staff turns into a pool noodle.

***Warning! Unknown parameters detected! Cannot Edit Object! Universal Interface recommended! ***

MERTICORE warns that it's powerless against the staff. It recommends me an app, and there's even a link to the store page, but it costs a rather large amount of MertiPoints.

Fuck my life, MERTICORE is full of micro-transactions. But at least it tells me that I can't mess with magical stuff for now.

However, all hope is not lost. The equipment of the mages themselves are magical, but the world around them sure as fuck isn't.

I focus on the air around them and make it way denser than it has any right to be for a couple of hours. Moving through this mess is going to be a pain and should stop them from running after me. Next, I focus on the floor beneath us and tweak a few values related to friction. The last, and most important step, is related to my phone as I discretely reach for the device in my pocket. I take a deep breath and apply all the edits at once. The sudden bright light startles the mages. I kick the ground to drift away at ridiculous speeds. I press the play button on my phone, and 'DEJA VU!' echoes in the empty building as I drift in circles around them.

Next time I should use MERTICORE to make my phone louder.

"What the hell!" Nicole makes an exasperated sigh as her muffled voice comes out of her mouth.

"W-What is this?" Mary shouts but falls on the ground as soon as she manages to move a limb. I made their part of the building even less affected by friction, so they are trapped into a slow fall without any way of escaping.

But this is not going to end here. I use my tremendous speed to pry the staff from Mary's hands. I also notice a weird artifact and multicolored crystals that fell out of their pockets. I also take them for myself. There's no way in hell I'm going to let a bunch of dangerous wizards run after me while fully equipped.

I'm also curious about this magical stuff, so I need all the materials I can get my hands on to learn more about the supernatural side of the world.

All my sliding around in circles is starting to make me feel dizzy, so I edit some meaningless values of the air around the disoriented mages before running away as fast as I can with my newly found treasure.

"By the way, they call me MemeLord!" I shout to the mages before fleeing the scene.

I almost crash into a wall before running towards my car and driving away as fast as I can.

That wasn't how I thought I would spend my evening, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.