《My Pixie Familiar》Chapter 76
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“Jase, just agree to meet the girl,” Lily said.
“I…”
“Stop it,” Lily said interrupting me. She was even wagging a finger at me. “As I told you before, being around another human and even making a friend will be good for you.”
“I have you,” I countered.
“True and you always will,” Lily admitted. “That said, I can never meet all of your needs.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, oh, oh! I know what she means,” Yam squealed flying over to us.
“Lily means the horizontal mambo!” Willow shouted as she flew over.
“Hey!” Lily protested. My familiar then flashed me a wicked grin. “Though Jase could stand to get some hanky panky.”
“Get lucky,” Willow added.
“Get laid,” Yam said. I frowned.
“Knocking boots,” Lily laughed. My frown deepened.
“Boinkfest!” Yam exclaimed.
“Oh! That’s a good one,” Willow replied.
“Boning,” April added joining the pixies.
“Banging,” May offered as she joined the others.
“Porking,” April said.
“How about shagging?” May inquired.
“Or buttering a biscuit?” Yam asked.
“Playing nug-a-nug?” Lily questioned.
“Oh yeah!” Yam and May agreed.
“That one is really old,” Willow added.
I groaned as I started to get an idea of what the pixies were talking about. Feeling inspired, I gathered some energy from around me and threw up a wind bubble around the five pixies. This cut off their voices. I sighed in relief that my idea worked and that I wouldn’t have to hear them any longer.
“That’s not funny Jase!” Lily informed me over our bond. I turned to see all the pixies with their hands on their hips glaring at me.
“What? Can’t get out?” I wondered aloud.
“We can,” Lily replied silently.
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“Then what’s the problem?” I asked. My pixie burst the bubble with a wave of her hand.
“The problem is that you missed out on several more synonyms, slang, and colloquialisms for sex!” Lily retorted.
“Yeah…” I replied rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m glad I did.”
“Oh no!” Willow said.
“We’re going to repeat each and every one of them again,” April added.
“And you’re not getting away,” Lily said waving her arm at me.
“What the heck?” I asked as suddenly found myself wrapped by wind. I could feel the air flowing over my body.
“We’re just making sure you have to listen this time,” May informed me.
“Maybe I can block my hearing,” I muttered.
“Nope! I’ve already thought of that,” Lily gleefully replied as I could feel air gently flowing in and out of my ears.
I tried breaking the barrier and succeeded for a few seconds.
“Nice try!” May shouted as she quickly trapped me again.
“My Jase makes me proud!” Lily exclaimed. This back-and-forth barrier breaking repeated a few more times until the pixies teamed up to trap me. I wasn’t skilled enough to overcome their collective strength.
“Now, where were we,” Yam wondered.
“Starting over,” Lily sagely advised her friend.
*
“Was that really necessary?” I asked when the pixies finally released me.
“Nope! But it was fun!” Lily happily answered.
“For you maybe,” I retorted.
“Jase, you and I both know you had fun too,” Lily replied.
“Ok. Maybe a little,” I admitted. “You guys went way too far with all the sex talk though.”
“Eh, probably,” Lily said.
“Just probably?”
“Alright,” Lily replied rolling her eyes. “We took it too far. Happy now?”
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“As long as you’re happy, sure,” I said.
“Good!” Lily said flying over and kissing my cheek. “You’re showing more wisdom!”
“How so?”
“You want to make the girls in your life happy and know their happiness determines your happiness!” Lily explained while giggling. “Now, you just have to make sure you keep doing that when you get your new apprentice.”
“I haven’t made up my mind about, much less even meeting her,” I objected.
“Hogwash! We both know you’re going to meet her,” Lily retorted.
“Hogwash?” I asked giving my familiar a questioning look.
“It’s another old term,” Lily replied. “At least it wasn’t a curse word!”
“Thankfully, neither of us have that issue,” I said.
“But some curse words are fun to say such as…”
“Don’t say it!” I interrupted the pixie. “If you do,” I’ll hold you down and wash your mouth out with soap!”
“Jase…you’re not my mother,” Lily complained hanging her head and dragging a toe in the air as if she was dragging it in the dirt.
“That’s a good thing,” I replied.
“True!” Lily happily agreed giving me a bright smile. “But that was the sort of thing a mother would say.”
“I know,” I said giving her a smile of my own. “Mom said it to me a few times.”
“Oh! I remember those times,” Lily replied. “Anyway, Gabriela will be here in a little bit so you can give her the good news.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I mock grumpily agreed.
Lily smiled. “I knew you would agree. Just think of all the fun things you can do with having someone you get to boss around sort of like I do you!”
“You’re asking for it,” I said grinning at my pixie.
“Always!” Lily agreed. I tried to grab her with my telekinesis but failed. Lily laughed. “Almost!”
I chased her back into the house, the both of us laughing the whole time.
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