《Descendants of a Dead Earth》Chapter 10: Endings And Beginnings
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Kai was as good as his word. He’d wrangled a twenty-four-hour stand down as promised for the squad after their experience. Much was because of timing; a month from now, Rúna doubted they’d see any down time, other than sleep… if that.
But here and now, she was going to enjoy it. She’d found a secluded spot overlooking the bay, hugging her knees as she watched the waves come crashing in. A stiff wind was blowing off the ocean, driving the waves even higher, and she’d already watched the water rise a dozen meters as the sound swelled in size. The twin Sonoitii moons hung high in the sky, bright and full, and already she’d seen dozens of rippling currents coming in from the sea, signs of the great water dragons returning to their spawning grounds to mate.
She wasn’t sure what had drawn her to this place… curiosity, perhaps. And while it had a spectacular view of the ocean, a sense of wide-open space her shipborn soul craved, that wasn’t what had brought her here either.
Rúna was still pondering that question when she heard movement in the brush coming towards her. Cradling her rifle, she flipped off the safety, only to flick it back closed and set it aside when she spotted Kai crest the hill, his own weapon slung over his shoulder. Scooting over to give him room, he sat down beside her, laying his weapon against a nearby rock cropping as he too looked out over the water.
“Nice view,” he said after a bit.
“It is,” she smiled. “Come to watch the dragons hump?”
“Well, when you put it that way…” he chuckled, sliding a knapsack off his shoulder and setting it in his lap, before reaching inside and pulling out a bottle.
“Should I ask where you got that?” she grinned as he cracked the seal and took a swig, before passing it over. Lifting it to her lips, she took a long swallow, making a face as she passed it back. “Ugh… paint thinner.”
“I admit it’s not the best hooch I’ve ever had,” he shrugged apologetically, “just the best I was able to scrounge.” He took another swig and then wiped his lips with his sleeve.
“You mean the best Yendrick was able to scrounge,” she grinned, reaching for the bottle once more.
“A good leader knows how to outsource,” he smiled, making himself comfortable against the cliff wall.
Taking another drink, she swished the almost pure ethanol around in her mouth before swallowing. “I think it’s growing on me,” she decided, “that, or I’ve finally deadened enough taste buds.”
“Smart money’s on the second one,” he agreed, taking back the bottle and capping it for the moment.
Sighing, Rúna turned to face him. “I know you didn’t come up here for the view. Out with it. Tell me how badly I screwed up yesterday.”
Kai shook his head. “Not what I came to say.”
“Oh? Then what?” She hugged her knees tighter. “I damn near got us killed.”
“But you didn’t,” he pointed out. “In fact, we all came through without a scratch. I don’t know about you, but I’d call that a win.”
“Maybe,” she allowed, “but you have to admit it was dumb luck. By all rights, that damn booby trap should have wiped us all out with the first shot.”
He rolled his eyes. “Are you relieved or disappointed we’re not dead?” he asked, exasperated. “Look, the reason I came up here was to tell you how proud I was of you, and the way you handled yourself yesterday. You did good.”
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“But…”
“Jesus, let it go already,” he groaned, picking up the bottle and passing it back over. “Did you take some risks? Yeah, you did. Could they have gone badly? Absolutely. Did you overstep your authority? Technically, yes.” They shared a look. “But I could have shut you down at any moment, and I didn’t. You already had a plan while I was still feeling my way through the scenario. I suspect I’d have ended up with something similar, but the clock was ticking.” He reached out and put his hand on top of hers. “I trust you. You haven’t let me down yet.”
Taking another drink, she shook her head. “I was just reacting on instinct. That’s all.”
“Pretty good instinct, if you ask me,” he chuckled.
“Will you knock it off?” she snapped, pulling her hand away and getting to her feet. “You want to know the truth? I was scared, okay? Terrified out of my fucking mind. All I could think was ‘I’m gonna die here’.” She wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered.
Kai gave her a long appraising look, before rising to his feet as well. “Well then, that puts a different spin on things,” he said evenly. “You realize what this means, don’t you?”
“What?” she asked in a small voice. “Look, I know I can work through this,” she said in a rush, “I just need a little time. Please don’t take the team away from me,” she begged him.
He raised an eyebrow at that. “Well, in fact, you might lose the team,” he warned her. “After what happened, I had a long talk with the First Sergeant.” Rúna winced and looked away, suddenly unable to face him.
“... I recommended you for a promotion, and a squad of your own.”
She froze, the words not making sense. It took her a few more seconds to process them, but they still didn’t sound right. Haltingly, she turned back around. “... what did you just say?”
“You heard me,” he grinned.
“But…” Her brain seemed to lock up, nothing working its way in or out. She felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over her, as she struggled to make sense of it all. To his credit, Kai waited for her to get a handle on what she was feeling, letting her find her own way through the jungle, until a single thought suddenly emerged.
“I thought you needed me to watch your back,” she said carefully. “What changed?”
He breathed out a heavy sigh. “I realized what a selfish asshole I was being,” he told her, “all ‘Me, me, me’. I was scared too, Rúna, but I shouldn’t have let my fears hold you back, and for that I am sorry.” He shrugged in apology. “Yesterday, you proved to me you were ready, really ready. But ultimately, that’s something you have to decide yourself.” Kai leaned forward, searching her face. “Are you? Ready, I mean?”
“I…” She shook her head, trying to make sense of it all. It was all coming in too fast. “If you’d asked me an hour ago, I’d have said no,” she admitted. “I guess I was wallowing a little.”
“It happens,” he shrugged, sitting back down again and leaning back against the rocks. “Easy to get lost, in our line of work.”
“Yeah…” she nodded, taking a moment before sitting back down as well. Upending the bottle, she took another swig and passed it back. “Top say when that might come through?”
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“You know how it is; a squad has to be available first, and I don’t know if anyone’s ahead of you on the list. But if things shake out the way I think they might on this mission… don’t be surprised if you end up with a new rocker and a transfer before we lift.”
She looked back over the bay; the water showing whitecaps as the Sonoitii writhed and thrashed beneath the waves. Now and then one would breach, only to disappear a moment later beneath the water. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “You’ve more than earned it.”
They were both silent for some time, each lost in their own thoughts. “How did you know when you were ready?” she finally asked. “I mean, when were you sure?”
He barked out a laugh. “Soon as it happens, I’ll let you know,” he chuckled.
She turned and stared in shock. “Rúna, no leader worth their salt ever thinks they’re truly ready for the responsibility when it falls in their lap,” Kai explained, “but then the universe has its own ideas about timing. Besides, there’s a trick to it.”
“What trick?” she asked.
“Oldest one in the book, and one I’m fairly sure you already know,” he grinned, “‘Never let ‘em see you sweat’.”
She blinked. “Seriously? That’s it?”
“Well, obviously there’s other stuff involved, but that’s the main one,” he admitted. “Take yesterday, for example.”
“What about it?” Almost against her will she was reexamining the day’s events, trying to see what had happened through his eyes, through the squad’s eyes. It wasn’t easy, but the glimpses she was getting were enlightening.
“You tell me it scared you,” he explained, “and of course it did, because you’re not a crazy person. But if I hadn’t known you as well as I do, I’d have never realized it. The squad didn’t; all they saw was you barking out orders, steady as a rock in the clutch. They trust you, Rúna, and that’s all that matters.” He took back the bottle and drank. “So who would you recommend taking over the team after you go?” he asked her, “assuming they don’t just transfer someone in to take the job.”
“Becca,” she said promptly. “She’s been playing scout long enough. Time for her to take the next step.”
“I agree,” he nodded. “The only other candidate is Doc, and I need him right where he is. Besides, he doesn’t have the temperament for it. Not yet anyway.”
“He loves what he does,” she shrugged. “It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if someday he made the leap and transferred over to the Knights.”
Kai nodded in agreement as they passed the bottle back and forth, watching the Sonoitii and the water. Rúna was silent for some time, wrestling with her thoughts, while the sergeant waited for her to speak.
“... I feel like a voyeur,” she said at last, as Kai laughed out loud.
“Not sure if this qualifies as erotica, but whatever works,” he grinned, earning him a punch in the shoulder. The two laughed for a moment before she turned to him.
“You recommending me for a squad. Was that based only on my leadership qualities?” she asked dryly.
He held up the bottle. “I plead the fifth,” Kai smiled before taking a sip.
“I’m serious, Aggie,” she pressed.
“I hate it when you call me that,” he sulked.
“It’s your name,” she pointed out, “and right now ‘Kai’ feels a little impersonal, given the topic.” She looked him in the eye. “Were there any ulterior motives involved?”
He sighed and put down the bottle. “No,” he answered, shaking his head. “When I suggested your name to Top, it was for the right reasons. My word on that.”
Rúna searched his face for any telltale signs of deception, before nodding in satisfaction. “I had to know,” she said simply. “I’m feeling a little at odds with myself right this second, not gonna lie.”
“I’m not looking to pressure you either way,” he said gently. “I knew it came with baggage, but I didn’t let myself think about that when I made my recommendation.”
“I know,” she whispered. Gazing out over the bay, she said softly, “I care about you, Kai. Maybe more than I should.”
“Yeah,” he swallowed. “Me too.”
“It’s been hard, these last few months,” she continued, unable to look at him. “Sharing quarters, seeing you there every day, so close I could just reach out and…” Rúna closed her eyes. “And yet, there was that invisible wall between us. There were times…” She froze, then shook her head, “... never mind.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” the sergeant told her. “It’s okay, really.”
“It’s not okay,” she insisted, her voice filled with passion, “because when I let myself think about the future, all I can see is one with you in it.” She opened her eyes, her jaw set hard. “So don’t you dare toy with me, Agilmar, because honestly? I don’t think I could handle that.” Gritting her teeth, she looked him in the eyes. “If you’re not prepared to go the distance, then you should just leave. This very instant.” A thought occurred to her. “Leave the bottle, though.”
Kai puffed out his cheeks and slowly exhaled. “I never let myself think about the future,” he admitted. “It’s too easy to worry about the wrong things, and you know what a single misstep can cost, out there,” he said with a sweep of his hand. “It was always about the mission, about getting my people home safe. I sacrificed a lot for them, and I’d do it again.”
He reached out and took her hand. She almost pulled it away at the last second, but something made her relent, though he could feel her tremble. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t have regrets, Rúna, because I do. Lots of them.” A gentle smile slowly graced his features. “Most of which are centered on you.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “But I’m not going to pressure you into anything or rush you if you’re not ready. We made it this far, I figure we’ll get to the rest, when the time is right.”
Something clicked behind her eyes as she swiveled her head to gaze at him. “But do we?” she asked, “Have the time, I mean. Our lives don’t exactly come with a guarantee, you know. We could both die tomorrow. No way of knowing.”
“You’ll make yourself crazy, thinking thoughts like that,” he warned her. “One reason I never tried thinking too far ahead.”
“As opposed to walking into a bullet, dying in the mud wondering why the hell you’d put things off til it was too late?” She shook her head. “I know where I stand in that scenario.” Rúna pushed herself up, kneeling beside him. Kai’s mouth dropped as she swung her leg over, straddling him, her eyes glittering as she stared down while a mischievous smile played on her lips.
“... what?” he stammered before she pressed a finger to his lips.
“I’m done waiting,” she growled, settling in on top of him. “I get that until the transfer we’re still off-limits, but tonight?” Her grin took on a distinctly predatory look. “We’re both officially on stand down, I’ve got a skinful of bad hooch in my belly, and a planet full of dragons getting freaky to set the mood.” She bent down and pressed her lips to his, kissing him deeply.
Kai gasped as the kiss broke. “... fuck,” he whispered.
“One thing at a time,” she chuckled, her laugh deep and throaty, “but I like your confidence.” She wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, while with the other tugged at his tunic.
A last, desperate plea escaped his lips. “Rúna... are you sure?” he panted.
Her hand slipped inside his shirt. “Kai? Shut up,” she breathed as she moved in for the kill.
“... shutting up, ma’am,” he got out before she pushed him down.
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