One by one the group of six filtered into the room, they went single file, relying entirely on the one man path that existed amidst the giant dump that his place had become. When the last of them were in, Charlie closed the door.

“Leave it open, would you?” Philip asked, “We need the air.”

Charlie swallowed hard and turned the handle, bringing it open again.

“So… what’s the deal?” Judy demanded, her steely eyes on him as he stood by the door still, without approaching them.

“I owe you an explanation. I ignored you all for… I don’t know how long it’s been, I honestly don’t know… I’ve lost track… days run together, everything is… was… a mess, I know what I did. I’m sorry.” Charlie said and bowed his head.

That brought them all up short, their uncomfortable looks around the room, their held noses and short breaths all stopped, their bodies tensed, and it was Judy who spoke in her high pitched voice, aggressive and demanding despite his unexpected statement.

“Are you planning on saying why or just mumbling ‘I’m sorries’ like that changes anything? You don’t know what I missed because of you… you think you can just come back in and-”

“People died!” Charlie snapped, and her mouth clamped shut.

“I was out there, things were fine, things were great… an accident… there was an accident… and some people- look-” Charlie took one step away from the door and held his hands out with elbows bent near the waist. “This had nothing to do with you… any of you. I was part of an accident that hurt people, killed people. So- So I couldn’t keep it up. I flew back here and that’s that. I couldn’t function… I couldn’t live, couldn’t do anything… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Charlie’s lip quivered. He wanted to tell them the whole truth. “I couldn’t do it!” He finally shouted, “I know I was here but… I wasn’t here! Nothing could be the same and I didn’t know how to keep going!”

At the dismaying display of their usually reserved colleague and friend, they had nothing to say.

“So I let this,” Charlie swept his arm around the room, “happen and just… I didn’t see it. For too long I just didn’t see it, any of it, or anyone, or the point in anything…”

“So…” Mark said with a scratch of his dark haired head, “that explains a lot, but what did you do for all this time?”

“I spent a long time just watching loops of movies. I watched ‘The Princess Bride’ eleven times in a row one day, I ate, I ordered food, I shit in bags and barely moved… barely existed… and I was so busy with that that I ignored the rest of you… and again… I’m sorry.” Charlie emphasized.

“So much for you thinking he was just being a self-indulgent dick, Judy.” A short, slender man in track shorts said somewhat smugly.

“Shut up, Sye… I can see that.” Judy snapped, then looked back over to Charlie and briefly closed her eyes, “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell any of you.” Charlie shook his head hard enough that his jowls flapped a bit. “I cut myself off, not you, that’s on me… all me… that’s what this is. That’s why I brought you here… I’m trying… trying to move forward again to whatever happens next.” Charlie turned to one side and gestured toward the door.

“I asked you here not because I want your sympathy, I don’t deserve your sympathy.” Charlie said, clearing his throat and full of resolve he squared himself off as best as he could with his back straight and his eyes up and on each of their faces in turn, “I asked you here because I owed you this much, if you don’t want me to come running with you, or… or have coffee with you, or to take my calls… I’ll delete your numbers if you say so. You can go, and know I know this was all my fault. ‘All of it!’ He exclaimed and wiped an angry tear away.

‘More than you know…’ he thought, but actually said, “But… if it’s OK, if you’re giving me a choice… I know I can’t go back, time travel is impossible, I mean the mechanics of it…”

“Charlie…” Josef prodded and cleared his throat by coughing into his hand.

Charlie blushed, “Right… sorry…” He mumbled sheepishly, and it actually brought a laugh from the group to see him as he was.

“What I mean is… I can’t go unfuck what I fucked up. But if you’ll let me? I’d rather be around you guys than not.”

“And those of us who are not guys?” Mary said, but without any hostility. Charlie also could have sworn the curl of her lip was a bemused little smile.

“Yes, also that.” Charlie chuckled. “That’s all… if you want to think about it… that’ll be fine.”

Charlie chuckled, “God knows I’ve got a lot of work to do here… the life I let myself slip into… I know, it’s disgusting. It’ll take me forever to get these heaps cleared off, and then after that I am not looking forward to the mopping. There’s probably layers of soda caked onto the wood in some spots now, and…” A roach skittered into view that made the group inch back in disgust. “Yeah, then there’s my roommates… I need to evict them all.”

His self effacing criticism was accompanied by a weary rolling of his eyes, “At least the bags with shit are gone and the bathroom is usable now, I’m making progress, look on the bed, there’s even a treadmill.”

He waited for the fat joke.

None came.

Instead, they wore serious faces, grave, and traded uncertain silent looks at one another.

“Whatever you want, I understand, I said what I had to, you don’t have to forgive me and pretend I didn’t just skip out, but… I’ve got work to do, and like I said, this will take forever.”

“Charlie.” Judy said, and picked up his phone.

“Yeah…?” He asked with a furrowed brow.

“What’s the passcode to your phone?” She asked almost offhandedly while she looked down at it.

“Five, Eight, Three, Nine.” Charlie said with a deep blush on his face that was brighter than any they’d ever seen.

It took them seconds to understand it, and where some whistled, others laughed.

“Bold move, bold move.” Sye said, “Using Judy’s name as your pin code.”

“Sye, man… shut up.” Charlie replied, and that made the slender short man laugh harder than the others.

Judy neither whistled nor laughed, instead she pushed various buttons with a blush that matched Charlie’s own.

“There, I’ve deleted my number.” Judy stated.

Charlie tried not to hide the rising pain in his gut. “I… I get it.” He said.

But Judy added, “It changed, I put my new one in. Use that one, next time.”

Charlie’s face brightened. He stood a little straighter. “Great!” He almost ‘squeaked’ out the unexpected happy word.

“Yeah, but come on, we’ve got a lot to do.” Mark said, bringing his hand up to rub his temple like his head hurt.

“Oh… you all have ah, you’re doing something today?” Charlie tried to disguise his envy, and in answer, Mark gave a sharp nod.

“Yeah, there’s no way you’ve got enough cleaning supplies to unfuck this pigsty and turn it into something liveable again. For fucks sake, you’re lucky you didn’t die of disease before now.” Mark upbraided him and the others nodded along.

“Yeah, that’s true but-” Charlie’s protest was cut off.

“So Josef, do you think you can bring over some cleaning supplies, the rest of us can pick out the beer and snacks… and we can help fix this into something fit for a goddamn human being?” Mark asked. “You’ve still got Charlie’s black card don’t you?”

“I do, but I don’t have his permission to use it for that.” Josef pointed out.

Charlie again protested, raising both hands and moving them back and forth at chest height as if to push them away, “Guys… and the rest of you… you don’t have to do this. This is my mess to clean up, I don’t need help, it’s up to me to-” He was again cut off.

“Nonsense! You can be such an ass sometimes Doctor Charlie Manning.” Judy shot back, her arms crossed in front of the ample chest that was hidden by a red t-shirt. “You could spend weeks on this by yourself and still have feet sticky with soda and syrup and god knows what other fluids from when your toilet didn’t work.” She pinched her nose shut again. “God just breathing it in… I can taste it…”

Judy shook her head. “What she’s trying to say in her own pig headed way,” Mary chimed in, “is that many hands make light work and all of us can get this done faster than you by yourself… you pay for snacks and supplies, and we’ll help you with the rest. Equivalent exchange, just like that anime you used to like. Full Metal Panic.”

“Full Metal Alchemist… Mary. Full Metal Alchemist.” Charlie groaned, then stopped, “You did that on purpose…”

“I did.” Mary said and put her hands on her hips and leaned forward a little, “Now shut up, let us help you get rid of this god damn neckbeard nest you’ve got here.”

“And you were trying to be the delicate one?” Charlie shook his head, “Okay… okay, you win, I admit defeat.” He looked over to Josef, “If you don’t mind, that is, run my card at your shop, get enough sandwiches, snacks and drinks for everyone… I’ll…”

Charlie swallowed hard again, trying to fight the lump in his throat before he could get out.

“I’ll let you help me.”