“Anyway, the other thing was, I wanted you to be up early tomorrow, do you think you could manage it?” Josef asked, “I’d appreciate it.”

‘I don’t have an alarm clock.’ Charlie almost said. But he did. He could feel the thing staring into his back somehow. ‘Quite a glare for an inanimate object.’ He had to admit.

‘I don’t want to.’ he almost said. But at the request, and at the way Josef added his own appreciation, Charlie could not help but nod. “Yeah, yeah sure, what for though? How early?”

“About five in the morning, you know, a little before sunrise.” Josef said nonchalantly.

“A little bit early isn’t it? I mean what about the shop?” Charlie asked.

“Meh, repairs won’t be done today, so it’s no sweat. Even if they are done today, what construction crew do you know that starts building things before sunrise? If you can name em, I want to hire em!” Josef said with mocking enthusiasm.

“Alright, yeah, that’s… fair, no arguing that, but the question remains, what for?” Charlie pressed.

“You don’t answer your phone much, do you?” Josef asked rhetorically.

Charlie glanced backward, the cable it was usually connected to, wasn’t in place. Nor was the phone. “No, no I don’t.” Charlie knew he didn’t have to answer, they both already knew, but he said it anyway. “To be frank I don’t even know where it is, everything is missing or misplaced or just ‘off’ lately, in ways I’m not even noticing half the time I guess… so no, I haven’t really kept track of my phone.”

“Well if you had kept track of your phone, ‘Doctor Charlie Manning’,” Josef’s voice became briefly condescending and nasal, “you’d know that there are people still wanting to hear from you. They’ve kept their distance because you wanted them there, but they still ask about you, they still worry about you. Your friends are still out there waiting for you to come back to them.” Josef killed the nasal condescending mockery and when Charlie pushed the now empty salad container away, the big man took it without thinking and returned to the kitchen.

“Then why didn’t they come see me? Why not stop by? Why not… well I don’t use that toxic cesspool that is social media but… you know, they know my address. Why not just drop by?” Charlie pressed, he hadn’t intended to let bitterness touch his tongue, let alone leap off the tip to take flight into the air.

But he did and it had. “That wasn’t about them.” Charlie said as fast as he could, “I had no right, I have no right to expect them to just rush over to dive into whatever my dramatic show happens to be. None at all. But I can’t help wondering why they didn’t, does that make me a hypocrite?” He asked.

“A little bit, yeah, but who isn’t? Who doesn’t really want the people that say they care, to act like they care? Drama or genuine crisis… people who don’t care to help, don’t care at all. So of course it seems like they don’t give a damn if they don’t so much as visit.” Josef said reasonably from within the kitchen.

Charlie heard the water run and the sound of heavy splashes from the rinsing of the tupperware.

“You’re damn right about that.” Charlie tried and failed again at his effort to keep from sounding bitter.

“But I know those folks, I think they all just don’t know what to say. Can you really blame them? How do you comfort someone who has everything they wanted, that anyone would want, and yet seems miserable? I sure as shit don’t know.” Josef said, and Charlie could swear he heard the man shake his head almost hard enough to snap a neck that wasn’t quite as thick.

“You did though. You were there.” Charlie pointed out.

“I also kept them up to date, maybe they could have handled it better, been more involved, but they tried the best they knew how without trying to impose…” Josef pointed out and trailed off.

Charlie picked up what his friend had put down. “I get it. So basically I’m the raging dick if I don’t forgive them for not fawning over me like Florence fucking Nightingale when I fell into my slump of self hatred and despair?”

“I didn’t say that.” Josef called out, “I think you can say they could have shown more care or concern… but they did show some, and you’re better off now, what else could they do anyway? One way or another, getting better is up to you no matter what it is. All anyone else can do is kind of poke you a little bit.”

Charlie chose to be grateful that Josef didn’t twist the knife of the fact that their deaths were inevitable too, and slumped in his seat. “Fine, I’ll go, I’ll say hello, I’ll show off what a double dad bod I’ve developed.”

“A what now?” Josef stopped after ducking under the open frame between the living area and the kitchen to rejoin Charlie.

“You know, like a dad bod, but two of them… god I’m hideous. It’ll actually be a relief to run again just to feel less disgust with what I see in the shower.” Charlie replied and leaned back in his seat.

“Yeah, just set your alarm and don’t be late, see you in the morning, Charlie.” Josef said and stood up, “Oh,” Josef added when he was on his feet again and Charlie gave him his full attention, “we didn’t use the wine, so save it, we’ll use both bottles when we can get our friends together again. I should get going, I’d rather not be here all the way till dawn.”

“Right, I guess that’s fair.” Charlie let out a loud sneeze that was more like a bellow, and barely covered his mouth in time.

“Bless you… you disease spewer.” Josef teased, then stood.

“Har. Har. Har.” Charlie gave the clearly dry, fake laugh when he stood up as well and walked Josef to the door, turned the handle to let him out, and closed the door behind his departing companion

The door clicked shut… then the sound hit.

Beethoven’s ninth, ‘Ode to Joy’ in D. The nature of the sound meant that there could only be one source.

His eyes opened slowly with the noise, he found himself in his bed again, the blanket over his body, the sheets under him, and pitch darkness outside.

“I never thought I’d hate the sound of my favorite symphony like I do at this moment.” Charlie rolled over to one side and began to look around for the evidence of the glowing face of his smartphone.

His eyes scanned the darkness until he caught the translucent and ghostlike reflection of the phone through the window. “And… of course it would be out of reach, it’s just like in college. Put the alarm out of reach so you have to get up to turn it off. There are times… when being a little dumber might just be the same as being a little happier.” Charlie muttered his annoyance and with his muscles aching as if he’d already run the old route, he slung himself out of the bed and landed with his feet flat on the floor with a thud.

Charlie went to the far wall to the outlet close by the kitchen entrance where an outlet that still had some sticky stains on the cream colored outer plate, served as the charging station for the smartphone.

The symphony was just reaching it’s crescendo and Charlie hummed along with it. His brief hatred of the symphony to which he woke up, faded away to nothing in the momentary pleasure of some of the most beautiful musical work in human history.

It wasn’t until after the crescendo that Charlie crouched down, yanked the little white charger loose from the phone and rose back up to his feet. Upright again, the song nearly finished, he hummed as loud as he could and without realizing it, he moved his free hand as a conductor might have.

Then the music ended, and Charlie turned off the alarm, sliding the unlock option all the way to one side.

With that stopped, Charlie’s hand fumbled around in the darkness until he found the little downward pointing switch. “Let there be light.” he declared and flicked it up, and light flooded the flat, and it was good.

Good enough for him to see in at least, though a bulb flickered overhead in defiance, Charlie ignored it to hasten over to a small chest of drawers and begin to yank out the workout clothing he hadn’t worn since before he left on a job he would regret for the rest of his life.

Black shorts with a yellow stripe, followed by a white tank top that had clearly seen better days, it was nicked and torn a little bit in a spot or two, and it had one or two small mustard stains… but the straps were intact and Charlie didn’t care.

The shirt was intended to keep back his embarrassing lack of fitness, but when he saw himself in the mirror… “So… Charlie? Do you want to be a fat guy trying to get into shape? Or… do you want to be a really fat guy trying to look like he’s in shape? This…” He stared at his reflection, everything was a sound ‘no’ from himself.

With good reason. The shirt was tight enough that it made his chest look like boobs that needed a bra, it was tight at the belly and showed off his fat and it made him look larger than he was. ‘I’m not vain, but there are limits…’ He peeled the shirt off and set it aside.

He threw on his shoes and socks, grabbed his key and rushed out the door of the apartment without looking back.

The air had a gentle warmth to it and there was darkness aplenty, overweight, shirtless as he was, in these conditions nobody would see him anyway. “Charlie!” He turned to hear a voice call out from across the street.

Josef was waiting on the other side of the empty road, and he wasn’t alone. He waved a yellow safety glow stick overhead, the thing was secured to a string meant to be worn around the neck, but being waved as a helicopter propeller at that moment, it was good enough to catch Charlie’s eye too.

Nor was Josef alone. “Guys?!” Charlie shouted with a broad grin.

“Not all of us… dick.” A woman’s voice declared, and Charlie glanced both ways across the dark and empty street, then rushed across as fast as he could to say hello again.