No-one gives a hoot about a battle about to start on a lower middle tier street. It's that kind of town. Now, if this happened on one of the upper tiers, they'd be tripping on each other to stop us, I bet. I say battle, but the adventurers sort of just rolled with my declaration of belligerences though.

Let's recap... My purpose here is to dispatch them (to the afterlife) while managing to avoid suspicions of any mad mages lurking in sewers. So, to confuscate truth I shall make this look like mere argument between adventurers. To this end I purposefully provoked the swordsman called... what was his name again? I didn't pay attention, even though it was mentioned repeatedly... Not that it matters.

Right... I must have met more people than anyone else in the world - both as my incarnations and through their acquired memories from the another world. And that's why all the faces and their corresponding names, they just meld together.

Like, there has been a swordsman with exactly the same douchebag hair cut before. Was that one called... Ralph? Randolph? Raul? Ra-something. Maybe. Maybe not. Only thing I remember for certain is 'that guy whose intestines got stuck in my horns as I headbutted him'.

Come to think of it, I had horns during that incarnation? I think it was a side effect for having had the wrath aspect back then. She (I?) was tad belligerent, what with headbutting people and bears to death and all, whereas I with the apathy have no secondary demonic characteristics apart from the (currently fucked up) wings. Wings don't correspond any of the sins, as far as I know. Wait, does that leave boobs as the actual lust demon characteristic then...?

Anyway... even before I regained my other memories, this probably subconsciously made it difficult for me to remember people. It could be that I just didn't try that hard though...

My musings get interrupted as the adventurers line up on the side street running on the hillside. The three men have a straight flush of reactions, ranging from annoyance to concern to amusement, while the woman just mutters something about dogs.

Silvana notices me noticing that, and always eager to be of use quickly dispenses this little tidbit...

"(She's the houndmaster of the group, mistress! Usually she commands them in fights, but the tavern didn't let them in.)"

"I see."

"(She's pretty famous, the 'Bitchqueen of Etmi'. ...Not that she's even worthy of groveling before mistress' feet!!)"

I guess that makes this a regicide then.

"(Is that title because of her dogs or her personality?)"

"(Yes!)"

Hardy har har, Silvana. She actually had a sense of humor, hidden deep in her addled head.

Ah, now the adventurers seem to be all ready. I take a confident, aggressive pose and point my hand towards the warrior who had mouthed off to me.

"Alright, mister douche with sword, you treated me quite rudely. Too rudely."

"And you are the harlot that tossed ale on me thrice! THRICE!! Who does tha-- Mphh!"

The large hand of the moustached tank silences him.

"Shush. Ahem... Anyway, you said we'd fight, but it's not like we'd actually attack a girl... not without a very good reason anyway. So let me apologize about our conduct..."

Damn it. I wanted a fight, but here they are apologizing! Previous times I encountered adventurers they happily charged me at on first sight, but these four are so mellow it ruins my momentum here. Well, they don't know I'm a demon though.

I could of course just unilaterally attack them right now, but that'd ruins the 'no suspicions' objective. There are people gathering to look at the show, both on the street and above us on the windows, so if I just murder the investigating adventurers, the assembly might count 1 + 1 = 2 and be alarmed.

Trying to figure out how to provoke them without being too obvious about it, I finally run out of luck. The elven wizard lands the question I wanted to avoid...

"So... How'd you convince Adopus to give his clothes anyway? And where's Mr. Whiskers at?"

I signal Silvana by blinking: 'You bluff them!'. She's technically their team mate, so they'll believe her rather than me, right?

She nods, somehow conveying message I translate as: 'Leave it to me, mistress! I'll get rid of this trash in no time!! After that let's do it like they do on Discovery Channel!!!'. No, now just wait a minute, I made a huge mistake--

"Actually... that guy slipped on a... a dog pile and died! And then fell on the cat and Mr. Whiskers died also! ... There, I... I was all alone, but then fortune smiled upon me... lo! I was reunited with mistress! FINALLY! And she, in her infinite wisdom, offered to disguise as Adopus so my comrades would know no despair! (Mistress is always so smart!)"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

All four of them look at her with pity and suspicion, while I give her a scalding look of disappointment. I think I also heard the gathering audience of onlookers sigh loudly. I may have caused her a mental defect with all those charms after all...

"Silvana... are you retarded?"

"Mi-mistress?"

Sigh. The elf looks like ground should swallow her, while the adventurers are busy whispering at each other. ... Should I just attack them? Punch their heads off and fuck the consequences?

But, then the savior comes, in form of the idiot swordsman with issue with women...

"What the hell is this? I should be in, drinking, and not here wasting my time arguing with elf-whores and bitch-sluts from hell--"

Silvana resurrects instantly.

"DON'T YOU DARE INSULT MISTRESS, HUMAN SCUM!"

"SHUT UP YOU SNOBBY ELF WENCH! I'LL BEAT YOU LIKE A RED-HEADED STEP CHILD!!"

I smirk. It's a small thing - I was making this more difficult than it needed to be, I know - but my plan just succeeded. Thanks, douche-hothead guy and yandere-rage elf. I had mini-freak out when he happened to say '...from hell', but otherwise... Yep, this is certainly a real, naturally occurring fight, and definitely not a premeditated murder, no sir.

Just to cover all my bases I'll add one last monologue.

"Here I was planning to use my wondrous disguise skills and give a taste of my talents to Silvana's friends, and then mayhaps join you~!"

I think ever since I gained my memories I've become better at lying. At least when I choose to bother.

"But you had to be assholes. I hate assholes. They just shit on everyone."

Wait, isn't this sort of like the dialogue from that one marionette parody movie? Well, regardless, the swordsman has had enough and the others can't stop him anymore.

"I'm not going to just take all this shit!!"

"######, please calm d--"

"No, fuck this!! CHAAAARGE!!!"

He rushes at us furiously while other three reluctantly ready for a fight.

"Silvana..."

"Yes mistress!"

I don't have my swordstaff, since I was in disguise, so Silvana shall be the DPS. She expertly starts casting a lightning spell, same kind that electrocuted the two other adventurers before.

Meanwhile I stop the swordsman's onslaught. I had prepared by picking a good sized stone and now throw it at him with a demon's strength, certainly at least stunning him--

Aaaand I missed.

"Holy shit!?"

But the sparks the stone made when bouncing off the street and loud crash marking its entrance through a wall behind them was enough to alarm even the warrior seeing red. I also think I gave a heart-attack to the two spectators whose head the stone missed by inches.

"Shit... What is with her?!"

I can see my enemy realizing just how much force I must have exerted into the stone to do that, and then concluding that he might have made a mistake here.

But then the tide turns again. His spirits return when Silvana's lightning crackles overhead, weirdly curving upwards towards... a piece of metal high above conjured by the opposing wizard? Attracted by the metallic bolt Silvana's spell crackles and booms harmlessly mid-air.

What is this... counter magic? That's... a rather special skill. You'd need detect magic currents and stuff, deduce the spell your opponent is about to use from that, and then prepare a spell to counter it... all this before the opponent is finished with their casting. I'm abysmally bad at magic and even I can tell how hardcore that feat is.

Silvana stomps the ground furiously, muttering vile things about the opposing wizard's mother, then remembering that I've been watching her fail all along.

"Mistress, I'm sorry! My magic can't compete with that! But for the mistress I shall try doubly hard to--"

"Silvana, let me."

"Oh! You have already mastered magic, mistress?"

"Not at all."

Time for Ais' chaos magic! If I don't know what is going to happen, neither will he! ...Why can't I ever have normal plans?

I hurry up and start with my favourite spell to mess up, fireball. I wonder what horrible way it will fail this time?

However, this time it looks like I might succeed in casting for real fireball. ...Damn! The enemy mage can see that too, and simultaneously prepares a counterspell in form of a ball of water. Foiled by being too successful?

No, instead of the fiery fireball everyone expected the bolt I launch is... pink?

It all happens very quickly. The pink fireball hits the waterball, and the counter-magician's look of surprise at my apparent spell-casting goof gets multiplied when the colliding spells explode into a thick and very pink smoke. Soon overwhelming faux-floral scent permeates the whole street, with intensity and volume of a firebombed scent candle factory.

I'm pretty sure it isn't poisonous, but the adventurers don't know that...

"She fooled me completely?! The casting had all the same components as fireball, until the last one--"

"Never mind the casting! What's with this... pinkness?"

"I-I'm not sure..."

"Don't breathe it! If she's devious enough to play you, then the smoke could have some insidious effects!"

Devious? Insidious? Mistaken conclusions make their evaluation of me soar. Although... it was indeed my plan to fail at magic and sow chaos so... I'm the master tactician now?

I start preparing another spell while the adventurers are busy clutching for cloths to shield from the smoke (even the townspeople increase distance to stay out of the smoke), but something unexpected captures everyone's attention. The woman in the group, who has so far stayed out of it, is reacting rather... extremely.

As in, rolling on the ground screaming and clawing her face extreme.

"TOO MUCH!! TOO STRONG!!!"

"Alana?!"

I guess she isn't fan of perfumes then? As if all this wasn't enough, she lets out a feral scream and her body starts visibly warping, tearing her clothes apart...

"IAAARAGAAARAGRRRRAGAGArrrrrgggGGH!"

Now that isn't a sound a human could make. And fittingly her spasms end as she turns into... a werewolf?

"GRrGGRRgHHH!!!"

That's the real reason why she was called Bitchqueen then. Her body has the same mass and rough shape as before, but standing tall with thick mane and all the claws and teeth you'd expect from a werecreature, she manages to give a dangerous, hulking impression.

The three remaining adventurers look at the hairy monster with emotions ranging from resignation to panic, but not particular surprise. They knew what she was and that this can happen, but this timing, in this situation must be very bad.

Team dad, the mustached tank, tries to calm her down while she growls at him with blood-shot eyes.

"Rrrrrrrrrr..."

"Alana calm down...! The smoke is strong smelling, sure, but it can't hurt you--"

We'll never know if she was listening, or even capable of understanding it, since this was the moment I finish my second spell, the casting process overlooked in the confusion and the smoke-screen. Silvana looked at my casting with puzzlement, and as I fire the spell, I realize why.

"Ah... I think I mixed up 'ground' and 'air' components..."

"HOW CAN YOU MIX THOSE?!"

Even the sycophant elf is angry at me? Magic sure is serious business.

As for the end result of my spell... I apparently pretty much just threw a shotgun shot of hot gravel at them. Hey, if Gandalf's best trick was lighting pine cones in fire, then conjuring heated pebbles is archwizardry.

"GRRROOOAAAAAAARRRHHHHH!!!"

"Alana-- AAargH!"

No matter the style or lack of thereof, it was quite effective. The werewolf, who was already maddened by the overwhelming smell, now goes full-on berserk after her fur catches fire and few choice pebbles hit her face. And the closest mauling target are... her comrades, naturally.

The rest of the battle was... let's say three-sidedly one-sided. I and Silvana relocated onto a nearby roof and then took potshots at them all from the distance. Not much to say after that: they were too busy savaging and being savaged to dodge, and whether by lightning or almost-fireballs, they all fell. The end?

Well, there was this little thing that somewhere along the line my wings slipped out and also some houses caught fire, which spread out with surprising speed...

Afterwards I retreated back to the mage lair while Silvana went to report to the assembly that the search group had found nothing. They weren't really paying any attention to that anymore, since the lower tiers are on fire and there are rumours of a demon invasion and everything... Not that they care about a few poor districts being destroyed, but the smoke rises up, so gotta stop it, right?

Still totally counts as mission complete though.