The following day I continue my job as reverse-Cupid by stalking the elf whom Mizerleh unsuccessfully tried to seduce inside a dream. I silently spy as he goes through his business in the elven settlement. Staying unseen isn’t difficult; even in the middle of the town verdant ferns are large enough to almost hide the elven buildings, which themselves are all made of large brown stone-blocks and greenish bamboo like wood - giant fern trunks? - set in cascading patterns. The warm, humid air is oft blown away by cool sea wind, making this a reasonably pleasant place for a prolonged stakeout.

I manage to snatch a map while he dwells at a tailor shop - I wanted to know where exactly this land is relative to the boreal continent I had been to so far. This continent - which could be a mere island for all I know - fills pretty much the whole map, while the rest of the world has to be satisfied with small strips at the edges. Other continents are malformed little dabs with drawings of half-naked savage humans and dwarves waving spears, savagely. Got to love elfcentrism... Oh, and every empty area at high seas is filled with illustrations of giant tentacle monsters. ...I don't think I'll go out for a swim any time soon.

At evening he makes his way to a garden at the outskirts of the town - to meet the girl with the supposed perfect 10 dress, I bet. I've noted it before, but the flora of this land is rather unusual, almost prehistoric. The garden itself is mainly filled with colorful ferns and carnivorous plants in artful if weird compositions. How romantic.

The girl arrives soon enough, running at him with her long white hair trailing behind - its length and cut are almost eerily similar to the man's. Couldn't her father have, you know, just not let her wander around instead of summoning demons to deal with this? It could be the reason for this pointless complexity is some cultural trait characteristic to this land. Maybe for these elves unrestrictive upbringing is a norm and controlling parents are shunned? A nation full of enfant terribles? I certainly hope I'm wrong there...

"######! You came!"

"Of course, I wanted to see you in your beautiful dress again."

The elf man whose name I forgot the moment she uttered it isn't even hiding his interest in the dress? They stay locked in the standard idiot couple pose, with the girl looking at him with her purple eyes full of blind devotion and he devouring her dress with his gaze while completely ignoring the girl inside.

She then starts making motions of a kiss. That's my cue to break this romance. Of course, I doubt she in her current state will listen to a sudden unknown foreigner telling her lover is just a frilly dress maniac, so a demonstration is required. I jump from behind the gaudy white-red fern I was hiding behind.

"######, I...-- Eeeeeeh! Who are you?!"

"Ais."

"Ah, Ais... No that's not what I'm asking! What do you want of us!?"

She clings to the man who himself is locked in attempt to recall where he saw me before. I act quickly before he can halt my momentum by blurting out something mood-killing like 'Oh, you're the boulder woman from my dream!'.

"I'm here to show you the truth..."

Before she can ask anything else, I grab her dress... and rip the ugly thing off!

"REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

That feral scream belongs to the man; the girl herself is still processing the chain of events and just looks down at herself in blank state. The enraged elf charges at me, so I throw the dress into the shrubbery. He jumps after it without a moment's hesitation, crashing into the thicket while clutching it tight.

The elf girl doesn't know what to freak out about first.

"W-what is going on...!?"

"He's a closet cross-dresser and dress fetishist. Also, he never cared about you at all."

"I--"

The girl stops whatever she was about to say and goes wild eyed. She's going to scream now, isn't she? I just told the truth, so what's your problem? But that is interrupted by another strange sight.

My supposed partner in crime, Mizeleth, arrives. And she's wearing an all-white dress with overbearing amount of frills... It doesn't quite hide her fat spider butt or eight legs, rather making it look like she's riding a huge spider.

"Mizelle, this is just about absurd enough without you adding to it."

"Why are you here!? And my name is MI-ZE-LETH, not Mizelle!"

"You ran away, so I completed the contract."

"You idiot! How is this... whatever this is, completing it!?"

"...Sort of partially completed it."

"What kind of lust demon are you!? This is not how-- Aaah?"

From within the shrubbery the man suddenly grabs at her leg, while looking all over her dress with eyes shining. Ah, I see... She made that herself from her web string, based on the dress he had in the dream. I guess she did know what she was doing after all; her new garment seems to be an instant hit.

"This... This is a divine sight!"

"Ha... Hahaha, of course! Did you really think you could resist Mizeleth?"

He's just enchanted by the dress, but Miizeeleh is ready to accept any victory. While the man and spider demon start coiling around each other, the now completely forgotten girl turns to me with empty eyes.

"Just... what is this..."

"That would be a spider demon he's making out with."

"D-demon!!? No no no no..."

"Don't deny the reality. To love is to be vulnerable to this pain."

She goes silent.

"Yes, I see... I'll never love a man again..."

Great. The trauma of this was enough to make her lose all faith, which was the objective here. The apathy vibes I absorb from her prove she won't be making cow-eyes at undesirable suitors any time soon... was what I thought.

In just a moment her eyes turn into the same mindless love she had earlier... and it's aimed at me now. Oh come on!

"But... You showed me the truth. You are the strategos in shining armor who came to save me from this web of lies!"

"Uhhuh."

Strategos? Is that their equivalent of knight?

"Ais, I... I think I'm in love with you!"

Less than three minutes and she's already full gaga - this has to be my personal record. What is it about me that attracts these love-crazy elf girls anyway!?

The girl happily clung onto me the whole way back, no matter what I said. She had to be peeled off of me by servants. Yeah, sorry mister elf-lord, your daughter is a lesbian now... At first he had rather indescribable look, but I could practically see him doing a mental representation of two puzzle pieces with similar holes not fitting together and reaching consensus that now there's no danger of her eloping and returning with a bastard child.

Mizeleth is feeling validated as she drained that dress fetishist elf of almost all of his lifeforce for daring to refuse her in the dream.

With the contract finished our time here is done and a new wizard returns us to hell. I get feeling that the act of evil that was our price had that wizard who let himself be drained by a demon as the sacrificial lamb. I don't know the details and I didn't ask. The price was paid in any case and I felt the essence flowing to me. I've collected a fair bit lately, and if druids or any other asshole comes to pick a fight, I can let it go without holding back.

***

Back in the outskirts of the helltown Mizeleth return to her default smug snob setting.

"Hah. Despite your lacking competence, this ended a success."

"Do you mean the same competence you showed when running away bawling after being shunned in a dream?"

"You- you-- Do not assume that tone, you crude creature! My ways are clearly superior to your crude tricks."

"You said crude twice."

"DO NOT PATRONIZE ME YOU BLIGHT-TAKEN HARLOT DEMON--"

Owww, and here I thought we'd be the best friends after questing together. I zone out her ranting and think. Did she wake up with her left foot? When you have four of those, the changes of that happening are far greater too, right?

Wait... Waking up...

"--ARE YOU LISTENING!? I AM TELLING YOU WHY--"

"Tell me more about dream invasion."

"Huuh?!"

She looks at me dubiously. I guess even she herself didn't expect me to actually take interest in her rants. I need to bait her more.

"I'm not convinced it's better than charm."

"Hah! Your paltry charm can only be used for one purpose, but dream invasion allows me to manipulate targets in countless ways!"

"Can you manipulate memories as well? From within the dream?"

Dreams are basically fragments of memories formed into a loose narrative. If she actually could control those, then... just maybe...

"Of course I can. I am Mizeleth, the one who spins dreams and webs alike!"

Yes yes, spare me from your catch phrase.

"I want you to use it. On me."

Hearing that, this annoying pride and lust demon takes on an insufferably smug look. But I need to be patient... While she wasn’t too successful in that elf’s dream, that was because of his bizarre personality rather than her incompetence with spells. If I get her to agree, I might get my precious memories back AND dream of punching her in the process.

"Now, why would I EVER want to help you?"

"Well... It just happens I have this shiny high quality 'armor' which I'd be willing to part with, were someone to grant me this boon."

She eyes my enchanted breastplate appraisingly. Made of silver and enchanted with rare and powerful spell it is quite valuable prize and she seems to realize this. She plays coy yet, though.

"And pray tell me, why would I need your armor?"

"Clad in stylish 'armor' no-one surely would criticize your style again."

Wincing at the memory of that elf telling her she looks like a ham in her web-clothing, she thinks for a moment. Then a cunning smile dawns on her face and she purrs her answer.

"Very well. What kind of memory manipulation you wish?"

"I want to regain my missing memories - nothing less, nothing more. I assume you can do that?"

"With ease. The memories shall be yours and the armor shall be mine."

With this we seal the contract. I'm not sure what made her think she has the upper hand, but I'm certain she'll lose that demonic smirk of hers when she gets the worthless metal bikini 'armor' I just promised her.