Chapter 33

My most vehement thirst finally quenched, I drank the sight of her as though I'd crossed all the deserts of the world, just for this one moment. The thumping in my chest combined with the roaring in my head so that only the faintest whisper could just barely scrape past the knot in my throat.

“Allie..”

My mind spun in a drunken stupor, staring at Allie as though I could conjure her right out of the screen through sheer force of will. But then something lurched in my chest and an unfamiliar ache produced a pained grunt as my hand clutched convulsively around my chest.

With a start, I came to the realization that this wasn’t the familiar ache of yearning or lovesickness. No, this gut-wrenching twist that reached from my innards all the way to my heart, it was something baser, colder, and far more unsettling.

“Allie?”

This was my Allie? The longer I stared, the more it hurt. The rift between my Allie and this stranger on the screen grew with every breath, until I almost couldn’t recognize this familiar stranger at all.

Not because her physical features had changed - they hadn’t. Though dark circles burned deep furrows around her eyes, it only made her cold gaze smolder all the more fiercely. The arc of her nose still curved as exquisitely as though drawn by the brush stroke of an artist, her lips full and lush with the promise of roses and vermillion, her skin pale as the finest marble and pristine as the first winter snow.

That was just it, though. Her features all belonged to Alexia Fox, but my Allie seemed lost within that facade of cold perfection. Whereas my Allie had been a fairy of spring and the joy of life and living, this achingly beautiful woman was the Mistress of Winter and the quiet dirge of death and the dying.

And this pain, it came from a question that kept rumbling in my head: Just what had happened to my Allie in these past few months?

Nostrils flaring and pulse pounding in my head, I turned my attention back to study the video footage. Alexia Fox, this woman who both felt so near yet so far, she strode forward through a busy intersection dressed in black tights that hugged her hourglass figure and a dusty coat of the same shade that billowed around her as though possessed of its own will. The silver buckles on her knee-high leather boots gleamed brightly under the morning glare with each of her purposeful steps.

Head held high, Alexia cut straight through the meandering lines of what must be hundreds of people lined up in five or six columns stretching from a couple blocks out all the way to a massive building that towered over the adjacent streets. Dozens of armed troops wearing body armor and automatic rifles stood at rigid attention around a barricaded perimeter, their alert gaze standing out in stark contrast to the typical donut toting, beer-bellied security guards I’d normally expect. Even in the chaotic bustle of hundreds of people jostling and pushing against one another, the crowds soundlessly parted before Alexia like a pack of mice scurrying away from an apex predator, undisturbed until one of the guards finally noticed her presence. Her gaze never wavered and her steps never faltered, even as every firearm within reach was suddenly raised in her direction, cocked and loaded.

Alexia’s only response was an indifferent wave of her hand. Sparks blossomed from within the folds of her fingers, at first mere flickering fireflies that danced in an unnatural wind while they fluttered in the guards’ direction. This simple magic trick that would perhaps have warranted uneven clapping when performed at a children’s party seemed to set all hell loose. Dozens of men immediately retaliated by unloading everything they had in her direction: shotguns, pistols, automatic rifles - they all roared into life, spitting a deadly hail of lead.

“Allie!” I gasped out, involuntarily lunging toward the screen.

I heard an exasperated scoff from Victoria but I was too surprised to even acknowledge it, watching the scene that followed next. It started with a now-familiar greenish glow that flared into life in front of Alexia. Dozens, maybe hundreds of bullets bounced harmlessly off, barely producing a few ripples upon the semi-translucent surface of a magic barrier. Maybe it’s just me, but I seemed to notice a minute shift here, perhaps the slightest sagging of her shoulders, a momentary tightening around her eyes, but the footage was shot from too far away and the gesture came and was gone far too swiftly to be sure.

Then it was all I could do not to gape as Allie’s outstretched hand tightened into a fist. Immediately, the handful of fireflies roared into incandescent life, growing in size and fluttering their wings faster and faster until they each erupted into a massive vortex of eldritch fire that cracked the very asphalt off the road as they furiously spun in the direction of the flummoxed men. A few of the poor bastards were still firing their guns but they were the brave few. Most simply dropped whatever they were carrying and scrambled to get away, even knowing they’d stared Death in the eye and their lives were now forfeit.

At least it was a quick death, their bodies combusting almost instantaneously, turned into puffs of ash as men, weapons, vehicles - everything was consumed within seconds, turning into a sea of green-tinged flames that roared hungrily and simply grew and grew until the whole world seemed drenched in fire. The heat blew out every window from the buildings within sight and melted loose scraps of metal into mere puddles of smoking waste.

Next, the conflagration that had now grown into a veritable ocean of fire crashed in waves against the building the men had been guarding and the walls seemed to implode, as though the sudden heat had been far beyond what mere brick and mortar could endure. Cracks snaked all the way down to its foundations, until one by one all of the front panels began to crash down, leaving only the metal rebar skeleton precariously hanging on.

Incredibly, there were signs of life from within the building. Gunfire swiftly retaliated from the smoke-choked gaps between the walls, red-hot tracer bullets contrasting brightly against the steady glow of Alexia’s magical barrier. Her lips moved swiftly in response, raising her hand as thunder crackled and lightning seemed to materialize above her, forming five bars of blinding light. When she lowered her hand, pointing toward the building, these shafts of liquid lightning surged forward, disappearing within the smoke before producing earth-shaking explosions that rocked the entire massive structure and threatened to bring it all crumbling down.

After this last release of power, an uneasy stillness blanketed the streets, or what remained of them. Even Alexia finally halted her advance, the only change in her expression a slight narrowing of the eyes. Then without warning, a massive bolt of lightning shot forth from within the ruins of the building. It struck Alexia’s barrier with a blinding explosion of light, cutting off the video feed as even the camera seemed to have crumpled from the impact of that final blast. All that was left was static on the screen.

“What happened?” I gasped, clutching at Vicky’s arm.

She shook my hand off with a roll of her eyes, wincing slightly as she buttoned up her blouse and shrugged her jacket on. “The Angel of Death’s little fireworks display obviously fried the camera. I’m surprised it even managed to gather that much footage. They’re usually the first things to go, along with windows, street lamps-”

“You know what I mean,” I growled, my eyes still staring at the static-filled screen as though I could squeeze meaning from its depths somehow.

“That was incident A14. As in, A1, A2, so on and so forth. So don’t look so worried, she shook off that blast just fine. By then, she had plenty of notches in her belt. In fact, before she walked away that day, she brought down the entire federal building, leaving 34 confirmed casualties and over 260 unconfirmed MIAs.” She then turned to look me square in the eyes, making sure she had my whole attention before continuing. “There just wasn’t enough left to identify the rest of the bodies, you see.”

I tried to speak past the lump in my throat and ended up gulping loudly instead.

The video was apparently on a loop, because it began playing all over again.

“Allie wouldn’t..” I began, but then I caught myself. I wanted to believe she wouldn’t casually slaughter so many lives. But deep inside, past all the love and tenderness I held toward her, there had always been the small but insistent ember of fear. Fear of what she might be capable of, were my beloved to truly unleash everything she was capable of. It was fear, not for myself, for I knew she’d never willingly hurt me. Nor would she pursue such extremes for her own selfish benefit.

What if it was for me, though? After all, what would I not do, if it were for her?

Slowly, pieces of a gigantic puzzle began to shift into place within my head, and just the mere outline of it chilled my blood.

“I need to find her. Vicky, you have to help me find her, please.”

Victoria ran her hand through her hair before squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head in frustration.

“You don’t understand. I know Allie. She needs me. She needs me real bad,” I could only finish lamely, hating how desperate I sounded. “She.. she did it for..”

I couldn’t finish the thought. I just couldn’t.

Blowing out a deep breath, Victoria finally snapped her eyes open and fixed her impassive stare on me.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’ve been combing through our latest intel, running four different searches, snooping where I’m definitely not supposed to. Don’t hold too much hope though. She’s always been a ghost, burning a building down or two, slaughtering a few hundred people, before swiftly disappearing again. Completely untraceable, which is baffling given all the satellite surveillance and manpower we’ve devoted to tracking her down.”

Victoria tapped a corner of another screen. A folder opened within the screen containing a large number of files.

“Worse, the last intel we have of her only dates from 3 weeks ago. After that, she just vanished off the face of the earth.”

“Obviously, the feds are not the only ones after her,” I muttered, tapping the amulet I’d retrieved from the necromancer. “This creep was commanding a horde of undead right underneath Los Angeles and casually slaughtering dozens of people. You can’t tell me you don’t have any intel on a group powerful enough to stage something on that scale!”

Victoria shook her head, her lips tightly pursed.

“Kai, in case you didn’t notice, the whole world is going to shit.” She held up her hand to forestall my protest. “Yes, yes, dozens of inexplicable events are reported every week. The official line is that we’re still investigating. In truth, everything’s been so compartmentalized that the right hand has no idea what the left is doing. I’ve lost touch with several colleagues working in other strange incidents and inexplicable cases.”

“Dead?”

“No, just mysteriously reassigned, their contacts restricted and their clearance levels through the roof all of a sudden. There’s also..”

I frowned when Victoria’s words trailed off.

“What? Don’t leave me hanging.”

Victoria massaged her temples before slowly shaking her head. “Well, you’re neck deep in shit anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you know. There’s been indications of a new federal bureau that has been running things from behind the scenes. Very black ops, deep cover and classified beyond oblivion.”

I squinted at Victoria. “Are you sure you haven’t been spending too much time with Dexter and his conspiracy theories?”

I expected her to roll her eyes but the gaze she directed my way smacked all the skepticism right out of my head. Her intensity, it was like staring down the muzzle of a loaded gun.

“You know me better than that,” she said, her tone flat and pausing after each word. “This is dead serious, Kai.”

I let my wince voice my apology for me. “I know, I know. Look, I haven’t said it enough but you don’t know how grateful I am. I will-”

Victoria held up her hand, stopping me before I could continue. “Stop. Don’t get any ideas. I meant what I said. I’ll help you find your girlfriend, then we’re quits. Done. Got it?”

“Vicky..” I began, grasping her hand in mine.

She recoiled from my touch as though burned, glaring at me. “No! Don’t Vicky me. We’re far, far past that.”

“Vicky-” I appealed, but my hand froze in the air at the cold fire in her eyes.

“Now stop. I’m gonna tell you exactly how this is going to go. You’re gonna listen, because you’re getting this all wrong and it’s really pissing me off. So, time for some clarity between us. Time for some truth.”

As Victoria closed her eyes and took a deep breath to gather herself, I could see the raw pain and emotion bleeding out of her features. When she finally opened her eyes again and met my gaze, it was all I could do not to shudder.

“I know you’re using me, Kai.”

Her first words, soft and whispered like a lover’s caress, they hit me like a knife to the gut. She saw it, but she affected not to care. Or maybe, she saw and so, she began to twist. “I know you need me so you can find and help that bitch you left me for. And I know you don’t care. No, you don’t. Don’t shake your head at me, don’t you dare. Look at me, Kai. Seriously, take a moment and really look!”

She pointed at herself as though displaying a hideous deformity.

“Look at my life, or the sorry semblance of it that I’ve managed to scrounge up after you left without a word; my career, such as it is, what with the world catching on fire and everyone too busy squabbling to even piss on it; my friends, like Dexter, god help us all, and the very few I could begin to let back into my life after you abandoned me.. All of that, it could mean fuck all to you and your glorious quest to save your mass-murdering girlfriend.”

“Even these unshed tears,” Victoria whispered as she laid the back of her hand against my cheek, her voice hollow and distant, so utterly devoid of emotion that I knew this really had to be killing her. Perhaps this distancing was the only way she could come to terms with the truth. “They are worthless, because those tears, me, everything..”

She spread her arms open wide, like an old scarecrow fallen to the ground, battered and broken, done fighting and resigned to its fate, waiting to succumb under the scavengers’ claws. “We mean shit to you when compared to your Allie. I let you walk away once because I was too naive to know better. Not again, Kai. Never again, because my whole life, I’ve never let anyone take pity on me and I’m not about to start now - not even for you, you son of a bitch. So don’t you dare cry for me. You’re not allowed to. Not while you keep using me even when you know you’re just going to throw me to the dogs when I outlive my usefulness.”

“And you know what? I.. I can take that. I can,” Victoria repeated, maybe as much for her own benefit as for mine. “I can take it because I.. because you.. it meant that much to me. And no, this isn’t about you. It was never about you, much less your girlfriend, or even the world. Fuck all that. This is about me, because this is where I draw the line. This is where I rip my heart out and drag it out the back of the shed. And the moment we finally find your girlfriend - and I promise we will, don’t you doubt it - and you throw me to the dogs again and ride off into the sunset for your happily ever after, that’s the moment we finally get even and I bury it all six feet under, may it forever rest in peace and everything else be damned.”

“Now tell me I’m wrong. Go ahead, I dare you to. Tell me to my face that I am wrong about any of this..” She drew a vague circle with both arms, encompassing herself, me, and the entire world in one bitter, devil-may-care gesture, “this whole fucked up mess.”

Thus I hung, suspended in a prison of my own making, unable to move forward yet unwilling to step back. Each second seemed to drag for a lifetime, Victoria holding my gaze with absolute resolve while my chest heaved up and down, laboring for each breath as though drowning under all the words left unspoken.

I don’t know how long our two figures stood there, sharing this moment and this silence. Hers, waiting for a promise that could only ever be broken, never fulfilled; Mine, spinning my soul like one spins a coin, with whispers of yesterday on one side and glimmers of tomorrow on the other, but only smoke and ashes where the present should have lain.

Finally, after what seemed a lifetime filled with vicissitudes and regret, Victoria dipped her chin in my direction, as though the simple gesture were the coup de grace.

I could only avert my gaze, like the ungrateful coward that I am.

Because I knew, just as she did, that she was right.

After all, what would I do, how far would I go, just to hold my Allie in my arms one more time?

Victoria surprised me once again then, when she drew her hand back and slapped me on the shoulder, just like she used to in the old days.

“So, that’s the truth, for what it’s worth. Now that this weird thing has been run down and shot dead, let’s not dig it up ever again.”

Her tone was light, almost casual, to the point that I couldn’t help but stare.

“What? But, but-”

“Ah, spare me the empty platitudes and let’s get this thing done,” Victoria finished, turning her back on me to clatter away at her keyboard.

“Right.” Women, I just couldn’t make heads or tails of them. Not now, not ever.

“If you have energy for useless apologies,” She called out over her shoulder, “then I suggest you focus your efforts on finding the FBS.”

“FBS?” I repeated slowly.

“Federal Bureau of Shit. Dexter came up with it,” she murmured over her shoulder, all business once again. “We don’t know what they’re called. Hell, we’re not even sure they really exist. Doesn’t matter, because we’ll still find them. Something tells me that when we find Alexia Fox, they won’t be too far behind. Now all we need is a break. Just something, anything.”

That’s when the video of Alexia’s rampage through the men guarding the federal building caught my eye again. Because by Alexia’s side, strapped low on her thigh, I could see a knife, a hilt that I instantly recognized. Out of hundreds of hilts I’d wielded or observed, I’d only glimpsed the like of it once but that one time remained branded in my memory like it was yesterday.

“I know where we can start,” I breathed, my pulse quickening. “Let’s go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“Slauson Avenue.”

“Slauson Avenue?” Victoria shook her head. “The police gave that place a wide berth even before the world went to shit. Now, it’s complete anarchy down there, where only one law goes: the Law of the Jungle. Every man for himself.”

“Fine by me,” I muttered, squeezing my hands into fists. Deep inside, I felt a dull ache, a distinct need to hurt someone. Anyone.

“Why are we going to Slauson Avenue?”

“That knife Allie’s wearing, I recognize it,” I explained, nodding toward the video file.

Victoria narrowed her eyes as she moved closer to the monitor. “How can you be so sure? I can’t tell anything from here.”

“Trust me, I’d never forget those knives, or the man who forges them.”

“Friend of yours?” Victoria asked.

“I suppose,” I said, shrugging. “He’s the one who got me an invitation to the Trials.”

“You mean the place where you almost got killed?” Victoria hissed.

My chest began to shake with a disturbing rumbling sound. It took me a while to realize it was laughter, only without an ounce of mirth in it.

“Nah, you’re wrong there,” I said, shaking my head.

“Oh?”

“I did die, but that’s besides the point.”

“What?”

“The important part is, he gave Allie one of his knives.”

“What are you talking about?” Victoria stared at me as though I’d gone insane.

“His knives, he gave-”

“I heard you the first time. So what?”

“Last time we spoke, he offered to sell them to me. Dirt cheap, he said. Bargain of a lifetime.”

“How much?”

By answer, I held up my pinkie.

Victoria stared at me incredulously. “He wanted you to pinkie promise him?”

There it was again, that weird rumbling chuckle that felt like sandpaper scraping across my lungs. Victoria looked like she wanted to throw something at my head and was barely refraining herself from the act, so I quickly spoke up.

“He wanted one of my fingers.”

Quick-witted as she was, understanding finally dawned upon her. “He wanted to cripple you, to take away your swordsmanship. Why?”

I shrugged. “Maybe a test?”

“Shitty test, if you ask me.”

“It was a shitty situation in a shitty world, so I guess it was fitting.”

“So you’re saying Alexia gave him one of her fingers?”

I quickly shook my head. “No way, I expect a whole different sort of negotiation took place there.”

A helpless sigh escaped my lips then. “Let’s just say I’d be grateful if she just burned Old Grim’s shop down to the ground.”

“As opposed to?”

“Burning Old Grim’s shop with Old Grim still in it.”

“Oh. Right. Angel of Death and all.”

“Nah, no Angel of Death nonsense,” I refuted, my lips slowly stretching into a sad mockery of a grin. “Just my girlfriend, is all. Just good old Allie.”

Damn, but I do miss my girlfriend.