Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How are you all doing?

Sleep all daaay-

And fap all niiight!

Err, wot?

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

The Following Night... - Alice's Mansion-Apartment - Alice's Point Of View...

"Mistress, your bath is ready!" Faervel, the ever-so-inhuman she-elf exclaimed in a giddy tone as I finished recounting my expenses for the umpteenth time.

Alex had also managed to deliver another letter from an unknown person. I was currently holding that letter in my hands, entirely uncertain as to if I should open it or not."I'll be there in a moment, Faervel."

She nodded and beamed me a smile."I'll keep the water warm for you, your highness." I blinked and turned my head away from the letter for the briefest moment to look behind me, only to find the she-elf already gone.

That... sentence, was spoken in a far more intimate tone than it ever needed to be. Anyways, where was I?

Ah yes, the letter."Alex said that it was given to him by an older woman... older than him? Or perhaps just old in general?" I mused to myself, still confused.

Why am I so uncertain about the letter, you may be asking?

Well...

In the world of nobles, murder is an art and letters can be more than just letters.

Poisoned paper.

Explosive runes hidden inside.

Accidic contents.

The writing being a curse to be cast upon oneself once read by whatever overly-curious bafoon that falls for it.

Just a few of the many ways that a simple letter may solve a pro-I mean, be deadly to you and me!

A deep sigh escaped my lips as I, in all of my paranoid glory, placed the letter away for now and walked over to our bathroom. A rather simple, if very much delicate, stonework bath was currently filled to the brim with heated water as runic symbols made it flow to wherever the water was required from deep below ground.

A sewer system. One not quite alike to anything I've ever seen. Not even the stories of the ancient elven cities have any information about things like this.

Just goes to show how genius our dear Headmaster truly is. Makes you wonder as to why he got exiled by his own race in the first place. Anyways, though the bath and its sourroundings were nice, they weren't even half of what was taking up my attention right now."Ah! You're here!" My dear, and currently very much naked, handmaid exclaimed in her typically giddy tone.

I couldn't help but stare at her chest, a tinge of crimson drawing itself upon my cheeks."Now, now... theres no need to be embarrassed! Handmaids do this everyday as part of their job... you said so yourself." She cooed as she slipped back into the heated water.

The red on her skin did not make this any easier on my confused self."I.. don't think you quite understood the proper meaning of that sentence." My soft murmur goes happily ignored as I let out another sigh and promptly throw away my clothes.

Faervel beams yet another smile towards me as I walked into the bath. She approached me, in a very sensual and perverse way and placed a finger on my lips."So mistress.. where should I start?"

I blinked. Make that several times.

Before my brain caught onto what was going on."Faervel, what do you think this bath is for?"

She blinked right back at me as she pulled herself away, most likely sensing that something was wrong."Ehh... it is obviously for romantic se-" I shut her up with a hand over her mouth."No. Its for bathing. Y'know, cleaning yourself?"

Tilting her head in utter confusion, she replied in a tone of disbelief."What? But.. that makes no sense. If you want to clean yourself, just use magic!"

I sighed."Look Faervel, I don't know if you are a demon or an angel or whatever the hell else you are but definitely not mortal... We mortals, don't think, don't use, don't feel and don't weave magic in the same way you do. What you may believe is normal, may be weird as hell."

She shivered and slumped her shoulders back."B-but... I could sense your emotions... you wanted me to hu-"

Now my cheeks were utterly crimson, yet I still managed to thankfully shut her up before someone heard anything. Man, I'm gonna have to renovate these walls with anti-sound runes as soon as possible.

No, not just this room, THE ENTIRE GODS-DAMNED APARTMENT."Faervel, its okay. You are new to the mortal world and are bound to make mistakes. I'm not angry with you. Now, could you please help me clean my hair?"

Her smile managed to return as she nodded."Y-yes! Of course!"

With that, I sat into her lap and turned around. Soon after, I heard her yelp and immidiatelly turned my head around to see widening eyes."M-miss?.. what are.. those scars?!"

I blinked in momentary confusion as I turned my head around once again, this time to face a mirror. And there, reflected clearly despite all the steam, were lash-like crimson stripes, all across my back.

All five of them, that is. I let out a sigh."Just a reminder of my childhood, nothing more."

"A-.your, childhood? Excuse me but, while I may be new to this plane, I do not think that this is normal!?" She exclaimed in horror as I let out a laugh."Thats because it isn't but you are once again thinking it wrong. This isn't from my parents."

She blinked in confusion, her delicate fingers trailing across the scars, making me shiver for a moment."Bandits. Inexperienced bandits, that is. Brutes, with no control over their strength." A deep breath was released as I felt magic building up behind me and turned to see pure light gathering in my handmaids palms."I-.. I see, but these are not something that a child should be made to have!"

Ah, so shes an Angel then?

Makes sense, honestly. What with her previous talk of a new God and all.

Inexperienced Bandits. Hah, this makes me snort just thinking about it. After all, how were they supposed to know that hitting a young girl with a blackjack across her back might leave a lasting imprint.

Damaged goods, all the way from the start, thats about all I was to them. Repeated kidnappings from different groups and voila, soon you have a backside full of scars, as if you were lashed repeadetly for your entire life.

Caspers groups was one of the few which had enough morals to not smash the back of my head, especially after one of their female companions saw what was beneath my clothing. Poor lass was an unfortunate mother who lost her child and husband in the war. Crazy Stella, they called her.

Now? Shes just another corpse rotting in the ground, as Casper blew her head off for disobedience, even if he took her *advice* to heart and didn't let anyone else touch me.

The light of Faervel's spell seeped into my long-lived wounds and I could see the scars being replaced by pure white skin... only for the scars to be reforged anew."H-huh?! What is this?! My magic isn't working..." Faervel nearly screamed in disbelief as my scars renewed themselves.

I just sighed. This was clearly the work of Chaos.

YOU ARE YOUR SCARS, CHILD.

Its toneless, voiceless voice echoed in my mind and I found myself nodding, thankful for the fact that it decided to answer my unsaid question."I am my scars, eh?"

I repeated, much to Faervel's confusion. With a small laugh and another turn of my head, I said."Never mind the scars, Faervel. My hair." A pointed finger."R-right!" An uncertain answer.

Her hands dug into my hair, dragging it, flowing through it. My long white locks turned nearly brown from all the dirt and sweat I accumulated over the past few days as I didn't have enough money for the proper alchemicals needed to clean it. Thankfully, with the returned money I got from the master tailor, I could finally afford to buy them.

Then again, I could've just bought the same products that peasant women use if I was truly desperate. But hell to the no to that.

The sheer reppercussions of another noble seeing me buying something like that alone would be enough to ruin my reputation. Oh now the high have fallen!

How the Pendragon family are no better than peasants!

And so forth.

Father wouldn't really give a shit, to be honest.

I wouldn't either actually.

But what I do care for is my fame. Not reputation itself as that is bound to fall due to Chaos, but fame. If I can make myself famous or infamous enough, people will flock to my banner.

With the war having been going on for a good ten years now, the entire kingdom was sort of depopulated. My levied populace has returned however and this will allow me to prepare more easily. Maybe I should consider conquering the lands of the nearby lords?

My soldiers are perhaps fewer in number than most armies, but they are arguably the most loyal they can be. Perhaps I should question father as to why this is... Considering the game of Marden that I played with the headmaster... maybe Chaos has something to do with it?

I would not be surprised.

...

Ah, no answer. Thats sad. Anyways...

"Wh-" I let out a small yelp as I felt something ... growing behind me."Uhh?!" I turned my head around and nearly did a double take as Faervel now sported a rather sizable rack. I-.. My eyes were wide and my jaw was basically on the floor as I turned my head upwards to stare right into my handmaids eyes.

Or well, that was the plan.

Her suddenly massive breasts had other ideas for my eyes, though."Fa-Faervel?.. did your breasts j-just.."

"Grow?" She beamed me another smile and turned me around before pulling me back in, making me shiver as she pressed her now-giant breasts against my backside."You were leaning into me so intimately, mistress.. So I figured that this may make you more... comfortable." She cooed into my right ear, eliciting a rather confused response from me.

In the end, I decided to follow my instincts. She is here to make my life easier, after all."W-well, if that was the purpose, then you've succeeded."

"Oh, I know." She let out a cheery laugh as I shifted uncomfortably, somehow managing to feel every inch of her flesh pressed into mine. Oh boy, this is going to be weird when I'm older."What is, milady?"

"Wait, you can hear my thoughts?!" She shook her head in negative."I am able to sense mortal emotions... confusion is what you are currently emitting the most. Sexual confusion, that is."

"Err, well yes. I can see that happening and by the way, thats your fault." I pointed a finger towards her, causing the probably-angel she-elf to tilt her head in confusion."Ehh? My fault?... but mistress, sexual orientation is something decided by a persons soul, not their mind."

A blink. No, make that about fifty as my brain struggled to comprehend her meaning."You see milady, due to you not having a proper mother during your childhood, you began venerating our lady Vytar and her physical statues. However... these statues are rather attractive to mortals, are they not?"

"Are you saying that I began liking women because of my worship of Vytar?!" She tilted her head again."You say it like its a bad thing or that you can only like other women now?.."

Okay, this is confusing the ever-loving hell out of me."Excuse me?"

"Mistress, your worship of our lady Vytar has caused you to become able to see other women as targets of sexual or romantic interest, but that does not mean you are not attracted to men anymore." My jaw just hit the floor."Great, that'll make my interactions with both genders a helluva lot more difficult to process from now on."

"You should be happy though." She replied with a tone of honesty as I turned my head back around, doing my best not to think of her massive, jiggl-AHEM."What do you mean?"

Faervel smirked towards me and hugged me closer to herself, making her giant chest no longer something that could be ignored."You get twice the eye-candy!"

A blink.

Stop thinking. Enjoy yourself.

Chaos suddenly threw in its fifty coppers, making me black out for a second as its voice thundered across my mind. As soon as I was back in my own body, spiritually I mean, I promptly let out a shrug, took another look at my companions massive tits and leaned back into her without a care in the world.

"You know what, Faervel? You're right. I do get twice the eye-candy... and my cake too." A grin plastered itself upon my frame as I closed my eyes and promptly embraced hedonism with all my heart and soul.

Faervel just placed a finger on her luscious lips in thought, almost as if she was still confused.

Makes me wonder what kind of emotions I had around me right now.

Oh well, who cares!

A few hours afterwards...

"Mnnnnyhh!" Moaning out somewhat uncharacteristically as I stretched myself and walked out of the bathroom, I noticed a thick shadow originating from my window."Ah! Lloyd!" I exclaimed in embarrassment as I leaped into my queen-sized bed.

Thank the gods that Faevel fell asleep in the hot-tub. Hah, amateur. Though, considering that she mentioned using magic to bathe, most likely instantanously at that, maybe it isn't such a surprise?

"Interesting company you keep. Guess Casper was right, there is no way you are still human." Lloyd the thief barged into my room, dressed in some kind of black, skintight suit.

It exposed his muscles perfectly and I had to shake my head out of my stupor before my eyes went lower than that."Casper is wrong. I am human."

"Is that why a nine year old girl's eyes just momentarily flew over my junk?" He questioned me with a snort as I promptly opened my right palm and willed light magic forth."Greater Exorcism."

My emotionless tone was the last thing he heard before being blasted across the room with a soundless scream, knocking him out.

Then, as I confirmed the fact that he was unconsciouss, I dressed myself. Walking over to him, I cast a small healing spell onto his head, causing the man to wake up."Ug..oughhh... holy fuck... I'm gonna be feeling that for days."

"Be happy I didn't use my other hand to cast it." My ring gave off an omnious glow as the thief jumped to his feet as nimbly as he could."R-right, not a demon!... damn, that means a little girl really did just check me out down there." He blinked.

I let out a cheery laugh."Why don't you try not being perverse right after spending an hour with a heavenly beauty in a hot-tub." My response had him turn to stare towards my bathroom door.".. Heavenly beauty?.. you can say that again."

He let out a sigh as I quirked an eyebrow before handing me a piece of folded paper."Here. Its what you asked for: the values of every human currency within each kingdom."

"Thanks! How much do I owe you?" To my surprise, he shook his head before turning to look at the bathroom door once more."Never mind about that, I think I got my fair pay for tonight already... and probably several more.. months. Anyways, thats not why I'm here right now."

"Oh?" Another quirked eyebrow was his answer as he nodded and replied to my unsaid question... well, mostly unsaid anyways."We'- or well, the guild is doing a raid outside the city tonight. Casper figured you might need a way to feed your inner demon or whatever and told me to invite you to the raid."

To say that my eyes went wide in surprise would be an understatement."Oh my.. what a nice surprise! And you can tell Casper that I don't have an inner demon of any kind, just a sentient weapon that needs to be fed." A look thrown to the nearby table as my pair of gauntlets menacingly shone in the candlelight of the room, almost as if telling me that they were hungry."Luctus!" I exclaimed and within seconds, the gauntlets were on my hands."See?" I turned towards the thief with a smile as he shivered and took several steps back.

"Fucking weird shite is what I just saw... anyways, you can tell him yourself. The gangs meeting at the north gate in half an hour." A blink and a tilted head were his reply."In half an hour?" My questioning gaze was answered by a snort."Before you start spouting bullshit about me being late, you were in there for far more than an hour, Alice."

I turned my head away and towards the nearest clock, only to find out that it was midnight. I've... been in there, enjoying Faervels company for about four hours.

Good gods. I guess I really am into women.

Wait, why the hell am I even second-guessing myself."Right. Tell Casper that-ah, hes gone." Turning my head back around made me realize that all that was left of Lloyd was an open window.

Oh well, time to get ready for some carnage, I suppose. Hmm, I wonder if Alex would like to go as well?

He does so enjoy watching me butcher people...

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Originally, I wanted to make the raid scene happen within this chapter but it ended up being really short.

As per usual, I shall stay online for a while longer to edit out mistakes and answer to comments.

Not that I'm expecting any. Or anything... BAKAS!

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!