It was a late appointment, but Doc said it was fine since Aria claimed it was an emergency. She sat on a comfy chair in his waiting room and ruminated over her many frustrations. Her own amateur research over the years led her to believe she was suffering from some type of post-traumatic stress disorder from the war. This led her to drink more than what was probably healthy. And she was a sexual risk taker that flushed her mind with a calming wave of endorphins. She thought she already had a handle on her problems. She knew these things about herself and she had read once that admitting you have a problem was the first step. Simply being in this office was like admitting total loss of control and it was distressing.

It may have taken her years to admit these troubles could one day jeopardize her career, but at least it was better late than never, she thought to herself. And she cared deeply about the next stage of her career. She dreamed of working as a consultant back home and finding a nice man to settle down with on Martian soil. But she had long given up on any possibility that she could cure herself of these vices. They were as much a part of her now as her military training. She saw them as scars from the war and ones that were too deeply ingrained to do much about.

In this quiet room, no sound except the ticking of an ancient analog clock upon the wall allowed her mind to wander again. There was a moment when fear gripped her chest. Perhaps it was too late. Had she failed to seek help for so long that Doc would say there was nothing that could save her? If this was the case, she wondered if she could ever forgive herself.

A tapping on wood jolted her from inside her head.

“Ms. Pantel,” Dr. Chaucer said, “you can join me now.” He waved her into his office.

He sported a tweed jacket that made him look smart. His chin was covered in a light stubble. Slight grays across his temples tugged at a string somewhere deep inside her that she was not familiar with. She believed one of her several problems was only growing worse. She needed help and she needed it fast.

Aria glanced around the room as she took her seat across from Doc’s decadent Earthenwood desk. She had never been in his office before. She had never taken advantage of any of his services. While she personally was not a believer in the magic that was mental healthcare, she refrained from judging others who partook. As far as she saw it, if you have to add a qualifier before the word health, then it is not really the same as the type of wellness that was required of a top-ranking officer. Only the weak of mind faltered and that was not her.

The good doctor’s office contained many trappings of a well-to-do aristocrat. Upon his wall-to-wall shelves sat scores of datapads bound in stylized paperback book bindings. This was a curious aesthetic that really was only a trend on the Earthen home world and among those people who clung to the old ways. This gave her pause. Therapy was about helping people, not about the money, right?

Believing Doc was from Earth made her wonder what other stereotypes about Earth folk were true to him. Did he crave the raw flesh of sentient animals like them? Or perhaps he still believed in the superiority of fossil fuels. As if a magician was about to attempt to fool her before her very eyes, she kept her wits about her and smiled politely as he sat across at his desk and consulted a datapad.

“Lieutenant Aria Grey Pantel.” Doc tapped on his screen. “First starship tour almost a decade ago right out of the Academy. No down time. Impressive. And aboard the acclaimed Discovery, no less.” He looked up with a soft smile. His gentle eyes watched her through his slipping, thick rimmed glasses. “The Discovery is a legend. A lot of careers were forged in her hulls back then. How did you manage a post like that?”

His voice was deep and sultry. She tried not to let that pleasant surprise, echoing into her bones, distract her from skillfully answering his probing question. She would not be made a fool of today. “What, surprised? Is it too unlikely for you that a Martian woman could nab a top assignment like the Discovery?”

Doc lifted his glasses with the tips of his fingers. He placed them lightly on his desk. Steady fingers folded into each other as he clasped his hands together. He nodded slowly which signified a patient demeanor Aria was not expecting after her sharp response.

“You’re right. I poorly worded my question and I didn’t mean any offense. I was trying to express my curiosity as to how a freshly commissioned officer, with no field experience, was selected over scores of many otherwise qualified candidates during one of the most dangerous times in our last twenty years.”

Aria crossed her arms. She wondered what exactly he was trying to get at. She had never given her first assignment a second thought. His question had her reluctantly rethinking that career-defining opportunity. She was mad at him for it.

“I don’t know. Maybe they were just hiring geniuses,” she snapped back. She watched his eyes carefully. The window to the soul, they say. But he did not react to her sarcasm so she pushed it further. “The proof is sitting right here in front of you. Look at my Academy scores.”

“I did,” he said flatly. “While impressive, my son wasn’t selected despite almost doubling your score.”

So the question was somewhat personal. “Ah.” She broke their gaze. Things had just become awkward. She searched the room for anything else to talk about, but nothing caught her eye.

Doc rubbed his glasses with a cleaning cloth. “I’m sorry for bringing this up. I thought it would be a gentle icebreaker, seeing as we had the Discovery in common, but I was wrong.”

She felt a little regret for insinuating she was smarter than his son who she had never met. “No. It’s okay, Doc. We can talk about it if it’s important or whatever.”

“This was back in ‘21, was it not?”

“That’s right. And before you ask, I was aboard the Discovery the entire time. I didn’t see any of the action on the ground. Sure, the ship shook me around like a bean in a can, but I would hardly call that worthy of a commendation.”

He slipped his glasses back on. “And yet a commendation you did receive. That’s something to be very proud of,” he said in a gentle way that made her feel like she was being praised by a proud father. It was not a bad sensation. “It says here in your file that you were promoted mid-conflict and went on to lead the team of linguists that cracked the Quillian code.” He placed the datapad on his desk. “Folks that are decorated or famous sometimes have trouble clearing their mind of the past. Is that something you’re experiencing?”

He must have been pretty good to already hone in on her problem. Or maybe he was just a hack who knew anyone in her position would have the same issues. She turned her shoulders pointedly toward him. “That could be anyone’s problem. Are you actually going to get in my head or are you just going to throw horoscope platitudes at me?”

Doc smiled. This continued to disarm her unexpectedly. Slight wrinkles across his face made her wonder if his son was about her age. That meant he was old enough to be her father. This made her feel very strange about a little string somewhere in her chest that was tugging at her stomach. At any moment it could release a box of butterflies that she neither knew the colors or species of.

“Ms. Pantel, your Academy medical records show a strong bias toward mental health professionals. I assure you I’m not here to judge you or call you crazy. I only want to help you help yourself in whatever form you deem necessary. Is that okay?”

She rolled her eyes. It was like he was talking to a child. “Don’t patronize me, Doc. Just tell me what I have to do so the Captain gets off my back. And stop asking me sensitive questions about my past. Some things I’d rather the Captain didn’t know about me.”

“Very well. The Captain did send me a message saying you’d be coming. He was very adamant about reminding me that he understood and honors doctor-patient confidentiality.” He paused for a moment. Since she did not speak up, he asked, “Do you know what that means?”

She shook her head.

“It means whatever you say here is absolutely confidential. Even the chain-of-command can’t meddle with that designation.”

She raised an eyebrow. Now that he explained it, she had heard of such a thing but never believed it was true. How could the Captain not be entitled to everything that happened on his ship? Would it not be prudent to inform him if one of his trusted crew were going crazy?

At this point, Aria was growing tired of their back and forth, of which she had enough sense to recognize was almost all her doing. She decided to just let him do his work and see for herself if he was a doctor or a quack.

“Okay,” she said. “I’m going to be honest with you. Not that I need to be here, but if I have to sit through this to make the Captain happy, then I suppose I’m not entirely proud of some of the impulsive things I’ve done.”

Doc scribbled notes on his datapad. “Very good, Ms. Pantel. Let it all out. What else would you like to work on?”

“Oh, so we’re just going to magically solve all my problems? Well, while we’re at it then, maybe add my predilection for the fancy sauce. You’d be doing my liver a personal favor. Also, can you wave your little mind wand and make my night terrors go away? I could really use a good night’s sleep.

“No wonder the Captain pushed you to come here. You have a lot going on.”

“If you think you can get in my head and fix all my problems, then by all means open me up, Doc.”

“Impulsive behavior, unchecked alcohol consumption, and skeletons in your closet? Ms. Pantel, you may be using escapist behavior as a crutch in order to avoid dealing with a real problem.”

“I don’t run from anything,” she said, drumming her fingers across the desk.

“I see.” Doc leaned back in his chair. He massaged his eyebrows with stiff fingers. “Ms. Pantel, you and I really have our work cut out for us. I wonder if you’re even ready for therapy.”

Was she ready for therapy? Was that supposed to be some type of challenge? Was the old man questioning her ability to work this out? She stabbed the desk with her finger. “Hey! I can take whatever mental gymnastics you can throw at me.”

“I believe you.” He opened his eyes. “Very well. If you’re up to it, I suppose we could try some non-traditional treatments since standard practice medicine is just not your favorite.”

She perked up. “You’re going to hypnotize me? I knew it!”

“No, Ms. Pantel. There’s no such magic treatment even on the fringes of psychology. Instead, what I propose is something much more, well...exciting. Hold for a moment. I must consult a manual.”

Doc slowly climbed out of his chair. He walked to his bookshelf and ran his hand over several volumes. With a slight hint of excitement, he pulled a thin book off the shelf. There was a bounce in his step as he walked back to her. “I never would have imagined I’d have an opportunity to counsel someone that could benefit from sexual therapy.”

Aria scoffed. “Did you just make that up? I’m not stupid, you know.”

He drew the book close to her and flipped it open. “Look for yourself.”

She skeptically took the book into her hands. The cover said Scientific Galactica.

“This is the March edition. It actually has a number of really interesting articles about…”

“Don’t care. What am I looking at?”

He scooted to her side and delicately reached across her for the book. A whiff of his cologne wafted out of his shirt. Spacer Gray. It was decadent. He flipped the pages and pointed to an article.

There it was. Sexual therapy was a form of stress relief. Recent reports identified it as being a leading treatment among an emerging pandemic of stress ravaging across the star fleet as of late. This was actually a pretty common treatment being prescribed among officers in high-stress positions. If this booklet was to be believed, thirty-five percent of officers reported having some sort of condition that benefited from some or all of the techniques used in this therapy.

She turned the booklet in her hand. It felt real. “So. This is actually a thing.”

Doc nodded. The goofy grin on his face looked almost giddy. “This is really exciting stuff. Real pioneer, cutting edge research. And I don’t even get to do any of the fun stuff. That’s all you.”

Aria’s interest was slightly piqued. “Fun stuff? What kind of stuff?”

“Flip the page!”

He took the book impatiently from her hands and flipped the page for her. He pointed to a paragraph at the bottom. “Basically, you need to shag yourself into a more malleable mental state. Combined with a light medication regimen, you’ll loosen up enough to make therapy exponentially easier. What do you think? Care to give it a go?”

This all sounded too good to be true. If she knew seeing a shrink meant a license to boink, she would have scheduled an appointment years ago. But, therein lied the catch. “Doc, I can’t sleep with anybody on this ship! If word got out about me fraternizing with any of my subordinates, then it wouldn’t matter if I were right in the head. I’d have no job to return to.”

Doc wagged his finger. “Ah! But why would anyone tell? First off, you’d be wise to only meet up with someone who is as eager as you. Everyone agrees to the fun and to keeping it a secret so it can actually happen. You’re a beautiful, young bachelorette. I’m sure plenty of folks on this ship would take a little rendezvous to the grave if it meant a chance to be with you. And I, the only other person who would know, of course won’t be telling anyone either. Doctor-patient confidentiality again. Finally, if you have any doubt that what you’re doing is illegal, I’m actually on a committee that sets standards regarding inter-ship fraternization. You’ve got me all riled up and thinking about submitting a proposal to loosen the restrictions.”

“For therapy reasons, right Doc?” she said cheekily.

Doc ruffled his tie. “O-of course, Ms. Patel! This is all completely professional. Help me gather research for this proposal, be a shining example of the therapy’s success, and I’m fairly certain what you’ll be up to will be on the up-and-up.”

Aria considered Doc’s logic. It was true she had been propositioned more than once in her career by young cadets who promised no one ever needed to know. She wished with all her being she would have acted upon those at the time, but there was just too much risk. She could not deny that there was still a risk Doc could fail in his proposal, but she needed to get well and she liked the path forward he painted for her. Besides, if she could not find any suitable playmates, she could always just stop the treatment.

“Okay, Doc. Sign me up as your guinea pig.”

“All right!” he chuckled. He tapped his datapad. “The pharmacy has a prescription for mood levelers. They will help you even out your worries so you can focus on the task at hand. Pick it up anytime.”

Narcotics? This was starting to sound weird again. “Wait a minute, Doc. I didn’t know I was going to be downing pills. I’m not a junkie.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Mood levelers may have had a bad rap years ago, but they’re used like aspirins today. And they don’t stay in your system long anymore. Oh, and did I mention they really put you out like a light?”

“That last part I like.” Aria pushed her chair back. “Thanks, I guess. So, I just check in with you tomorrow or something?”

Doc placed his booklet back on the shelf. “Maybe. Let’s check after you’ve had your first foray. You should be loosened up for your first traditional treatment. If you are so ambitious that you’re able to take care of yourself tonight, then come in first thing in the morning and we’ll start the important work. How does that sound?”

“Eh, I’m not so sure that’s going to work. I have a lot on my plate, so to speak.”

“Ms. Pantel. Your personal wellness is of utmost priority. There shouldn’t be anything more important than your health. Please, come in and see me if you make any progress.”

“I’ll think about it.” She stiffened up when he placed a warm hand on her own. She held her breath and let the butterflies in her stomach flutter away.

“Ms. Pantel, I want you to know that I’m always here to help you in whatever way you deem appropriate.” He smiled warmly and opened his office door for her.

Aria nodded and left Doc’s office. Her first counseling appointment was not as bad as she thought it would be. She did not mind looking at his salt-and-pepper head or his broom-like mustache either. She even felt a little sad walking away from the wrinkles around his eyes swirling inward toward the deep wells of his irises...oh no. The distractions were building up again. She needed those pills fast.

Aria bolted from Doc’s office like a nun running from a sinner’s convention. She really had it bad and she was desperate for her treatment before an uncontrollable, wandering thought goofed up her mission tomorrow or worse, got her and Hansel killed.

Being a woman who was not born yesterday, she decided to check one last time about the validity of sexual therapy. She called Tinsdale on her datapad.

“Aria. What’s going on? Wanna hang out?”

“Just a quick question. Your sister’s a doctor, right? Have you ever heard of sexual therapy?”

Tinsdale snickered. “Did you finally go see the Doc? Did he prescribe you that? Oh my stars! You lucky ducky! Short answer, yes it is in fact a thing. My sister and her man got into a bad way about six months back and she got prescribed the same thing at couple’s therapy. Said it was the most weird and exciting medicine she’d ever taken! You have got to tell me all the juicy details, girl, before…”

Aria terminated the call quickly. Tinsdale did not need to know anything more at this time.

She hustled a few modules down to the pharmacy. She walked inside and a pleasant door chime rang.

“Name?” came a disembodied voice.

“Excuse me?” she asked. Aria searched the small white room but could not pinpoint the source of the question.

“Name? Your name.” Several fully stocked shelves behind the reception counter began wiggling.

“Pantel, Aria.” She was slightly annoyed. She expected a little more respect from her crewmates.

A distracted pharmacist emerged with a small bag in his hand. He seemed to be doing several things at once and she did not like the idea of him only giving her half of his attention while he handled her prescription. In addition, she did not recognize him. This was odd because it was her job to know everyone aboard.

What she did know was that he was young and cute. His youthful skin and spring to his step was a great contrast to the aging man she had just left behind. She wanted to see more of his face, but he was making a considerable effort to avoid eye contact with her. His entire aura perplexed her and it made her just want to put a leash around his neck and order him around. Oops! She immediately attempted to exorcise this dirty thought from her mind.

He placed the bag filled with pills on the counter. “Take two pills before bed. Schedule yourself a full eight hours of sleep prior to ingesting. Take them both before bedtime and with a full eight ounce glass of water. Do not deviate from this.”

“Any side effects I should be aware of? I don’t usually take drugs,” she snickered, “but...”

His mouth stretched until his lips were pencil thin. Apparently she was not as funny as she thought she was. “I was about to get to that,” he said. “Side effects reported are light sensitivity, chills, confusion, hormonal imbalances, lucid dreaming, extreme sleepiness, lapses in memory, spontaneous feelings of weightlessness, and or death. Do you have any questions?”

She took the bag from him and examined the little pills inside. The list of dangers were very concerning. Should she be doing this at all? “You’re telling me I could become confused, float into the air, and then die?”

He ever so slightly rolled his eyes. “No. These outcomes are atypical. They just have to write that on the label for liability purposes. Just follow the instructions and you’ll be fine.”

She turned to leave and then remembered something fun. This guy could use a cheery note. She swiveled back around. “Say, I have one other question. But it’s not about the medicine.”

He was already halfway back to the shelves. “What is it?”

“Have we met? I don’t know your name.”

“We haven’t met, but of course I know who you are. You’re the Lieutenant, Aria Pantel. I’m Julian Gray. Yesterday was my first day and this is my first job out of the Academy. I arrived via special courier shuttle to assist you all regarding Planet 748-B.”

“Dr. Gray? Oh. Actually I’m starting to remember now. On paper at least. I recall approving your enlistment request and being tickled that you and I share a name: your last and my middle. We’re both Grays, except I spell mine with an E.”

“That’s fascinating,” he flatly replied.

Whether he was intensely disinterested in her company or her very presence made him uncomfortable she could not say for sure. Either explanation honestly made her want to get to know him more. She tucked the bag away and simply said goodbye.

AUTHOR NOTE: Don't forget to 'heart' and 'rate' this story, you beautiful person! -Dr. Dan