The head scientist led the lord-chamberlain into the viewing area. There were several plush seats set up that were overlooking what appeared to be the bedroom of an apartment. There was a bed set-up, and side tables. A window overlooked what appeared to be a park far below.

‘This, my lord, is the most common setting for the human animal mating’ - said the head scientist

‘Most peculiar’ - said the lord-chamberlain

‘Yes my lord, but they are most peculiar beasts’ - said the head scientist

The lord-chamberlain wandered over to the edge of the viewing platform.

‘What is that?’ - said the lord-chamberlain, pointing at the bed.

‘That is where the human animals breed, my lord’ - said the head scientist

‘Where they lay the egg?’ - said the lord chamberlain

The head scientist chuckled.

‘There is no egg laying, my lord’ - said the head scientist

The lord-chamberlain turned to the scientist.

‘No egg?’ - he said

‘No my lord - well there is an egg, but inside of the female of the species...it is difficult to explain. We will have the demonstration’ - said the head scientist.

The door to the viewing area opened, and two guards stepped into the room followed by the king. The king was smoking a thick cigar and drinking cognac. The king was followed by two other scientists.

‘You grace’ - said the lord-chamberlain, bowing.

The head scientist bowed as well, keeping its eyes to the floor.

The king wandered into the viewing area, and looked at the mock apartment below.

‘What is all this, head scientist?’ - said the king, swigging cognac.

‘Your grace’ - said the head scientist, still bowing - ‘A demonstration of the reproductive activity of the human animals, and some interesting insights on them as a potential food source’

The king continued to stare at the mock apartment - ‘What is that?’

‘Apparently, your grace’ - said the lord-chamberlain - ‘it is called a bed!’

‘Is that where the egg is laid?’ - said the king

‘Apparently, your grace, there isn’t an egg!’ - said the lord-chamberlain, chuckling.

The king walked to the seats and sat down, and puffed on its cigar.

‘No egg! This I have to see’ - said the king

The lord-chamberlain sat next to the king and the head scientist nodded at the two other scientists standing at the back of the room. One of the scientists was holding a device, and it pressed a button.

After a short while the door to the apartment bedroom opened and Dr. Fiona Hall and David Sterling wandered into the bedroom - both fully dressed and wearing obedience and translations chains.

‘Your grace’ - said the head scientist - ‘These two human animal specimens can be considered quite typical of the species.

Fiona and David stood in the middle of the bedroom.

‘Unlike us, your grace’ - continued the head scientist - ‘the human animals do not lay eggs’

The king and the lord-chamberlain chuckled.

‘The human animals engage in an act that they - as a species - describe as copulation to produce offspring’ - said the head scientist

‘What is copulation?’ - said the king

The head scientist nodded again at the scientists at the back of the room - ‘Copulation is a highly ritualized process, your grace, that involves a number of signals and counter signals between the male and female of the human animal species’

A scientist walked into the bedroom holding a tray with two martini glasses on it.

‘In most cases, your grace, the ritualized process begins with the consumption of fermented grains or fruits’ - the head scientist nodded at the scientist holding the tray.

‘Drink!’ - said the scientist, and Fiona and David both took a glass and swigged back the contents.

‘The consumption, your grace, of fermented grains and fruits enables the human animals to engage in activity - such as copulation - that they would not normally wish to engage in. After a sufficient amount of fermented grains or fruits has been consumed, the human animal is much better able to select a partner for copulation, as this consumption impairs their judgement’ - said the head scientist

The king laughed.

The head scientist nodded at the scientist at the back of the room, and it pressed another button. Music started playing in the bedroom.

‘What is that horrible noise?’ - said the lord-chamberlain

‘Human music’ - said the head scientist

The music playing was I want to know what love is by Foreigner.

The head scientist nodded at the scientist holding the tray.

‘Dance’ - said the scientist

Fiona and David began dancing and swaying in the middle of the bedroom.

The king and the lord-chamberlain looked on amazed.

‘After the consumption of the fermented grains and fruits, your grace - human animals will perform a mating ritual where they prance and gyrate in close proximity to each other. They will also hold each other, and perform standardized movements and patterns of behavior. This activity is called dancing’ - said the head scientist.

The king puffed his cigar.

‘Additional factors can be involved in the ritualized process, your grace. And the exterior design of the transportation machine the male of the species has can play an important part in whether the female agrees to mate’ - said the head scientist - ‘As well as how many pieces of paper with imaginary value the male of the species has’

The king lent over to the lord-chamberlain - ‘Have you ever heard anything like this before?’

‘No your grace - this is most bizarre’ - said the lord-chamberlain

The king stood up - ‘Are you making this up?’

The head scientist looked at the lord-chamberlain, who was also standing. Fiona and David continued to dance.

‘N...no...your grace’ - said the head scientist - ‘Important research has gone into this presentation today’

The king walked up to the head scientist.

‘You expect me to believe that the female human animal will consider breeding with a male of the species based on their mode of transportation?’ - said the king

‘I...in...some cases, yes, your grace’ - stuttered the head scientist - ‘Bu...but...the really peculiar thing, your grace, is all of the human transportation is identical with the exception of subtle exterior design differences’

The king stared at the head scientist, and then walked back to its seat and sat.

‘Continue, head scientist’ - said the lord-chamberlain

‘The next phase of the mating ritual is something the human animals call “kissing”’ - said the head scientist, nodding at the scientist in the bedroom.

‘Kiss’ - said the scientist

Fiona and David stopped dancing and began kissing each other.

The king and the lord-chamberlain leaned forward in their chairs. The lord-chamberlain gagged.

‘What are they doing?’ - said the king.

‘The human animals will engage in the activity described as “kissing” as a prelude to copulation. The human animals will exchange bodily fluids via their mouths’ - said the head scientist.

The lord-chamberlain gagged again. The scientist in the bedroom gagged. The two scientists at the back of the room gagged. The king sat wide eyed smoking its cigar.

‘Your grace - what we shall be seeing next can be considered quite...quite disturbing’ - said the head scientist.

The lord-chamberlain had its eyes covered with its clawed hand, and continued to gag.

‘Continue’ - said the king

The head scientist nodded at the scientist in the bedroom.

‘Get naked’ - said the scientist

Fiona and David began undressing and then stood naked in the middle of the bedroom.

‘Arouse the male’ - said the scientist

Fiona knelt down on the carpet, and began sucking David’s flacid penis. David stared blankly into space.

The scientist in the bedroom gagged again. The lord-chamberlain looked from behind its clawed hands and shrieked.

‘What is that thing it is sucking?’ - said the lord-chamberlain

The king continued to stare.

‘That, my lord, is the male human animal’s reproductive organ’ - said the head scientist

‘And this is how they reproduce?’ - said the lord-chamberlain

Fiona continued to suck David’s now erect penis.

‘No my lord, this is what human’s call “foreplay” - the female of the species will stimulate the male of the species using different parts of its body to cause the male’s sex organ to swell and protrude’ - said the head scientist

‘It is disgusting!’ - said the lord-chamberlain, gagging again.

The head scientist nodded at the scientist in the bedroom.

‘Copulate’ - said the scientist

Fiona stopped sucking David, and she climbed onto the bed. David followed her, and the two of them began having sexual intercourse in front of the watching aliens.

The lord-chamberlain vomited a huge puddle onto the floor of the viewing area. The scientist in the bedroom vomited and then passed out. One of the guards fainted.

Fiona and David continued copulating.

‘Your grace - the male human animal inserts its sex organ inside of the female, and then after a while a liquid is ejected from the male sex organ into the female. The liquid contains microscopic cells known as “sperm”. One of the sperm cells will then find the microscopic egg that is inside the female and fertilize it’ - said the head scientist

Two other scientists entered the bedroom and dragged the unconscious scientist out of the door. The guard who had fainted stood back up. Fiona and David continued to copulate.

‘After a successful fertilization, the gestation period for a fertilized human egg is approximately 9 months, your grace’ - said the head scientist - ‘the egg grows inside of the female human animal until maturity, and is then expelled via the same passageway that the sperm was injected’

The lord-chamberlain vomited again.

‘After expulsion from the host, a human animal reaches maturity within 15 to 18 years, your grace. However, we believe that by manipulating the hormones of the human animals the time to maturity could be reduced to perhaps 10 or 12 years’ - said the head scientist

David ejectulated, and then climbed off of Fiona and they both lay on the bed staring at the ceiling.

‘Additionally, we believe that the cloning of the human animals is possible - thus removing the need for this...this mating ritual’ - said the head scientist

‘That is good news!’ - said the lord-chamberlain

‘We estimate that with cloning and farming - we will be able to establish a human meat reserve that will last in perpetuity’ - said the head scientist

‘Very good head scientist’ - said the king, standing

Fiona and David lay on the bed. Tears were running down Fiona Hall’s cheeks.

The king left the viewing area, followed by the lord-chamberlain and the guards.